Page 4 of The Wildcat and the Rogue (The Shifter Season #8)

JANE

I sip on my lemonade and search the room, not entirely sure what, or who, I am looking for. Except that I know that is a lie I am telling myself because I don't want to face the reality of who I'm seeking out or why.

"Jane, are you all right?" Harriet asks.

I look at my friend and smile. "I am."

"You've been acting strange for the past week, it's almost like you've been searching for someone at all of the events we've attended."

"I am not," I lie. I don't know why I haven't told her about Ewan. Potentially because it will start pulling at threads that I don't want to share with anyone, even my friend. The more people know about what happened in Scotland, the more chance there is of everyone else finding out, and I do not want my plan to fail.

She gives me a look that says she doesn't believe me, but doesn't press me on the matter, for which I'm grateful.

"I believe I will be able to furnish an introduction between you and Lord Penwin later," Harriet says.

"Who?"

"He's the third son of an earl, but is said to be working on a fortune of his own. He has a good reputation."

"Oh."

"Isn't that what you wanted? Someone kind with a fortune of their own?"

"Yes." Though now I can't help but wonder how things have changed because of Ewan's arrival here. Can I truly search for a husband in this ballroom when the man I thought I might marry is close by? I keep all of that from Harriet, not wanting to complicate things. Or have to explain how I know Ewan and exactly what the problem is when it comes to the two of us being together. I'd rather no one in London knows about what happened between my father and his, even one I trust.

"Then I shall make the introduction," she says.

"Thank you."

"It's one of the perks of being married," she responds.

I raise an eyebrow. "If that's the only perk, then I feel for you."

She lets out a laugh. "Oh, believe me, it is far from the only perk."

I shake my head, amused by her response.

"Perhaps the introduction can wait, I see a gentleman heading in our direction."

I follow her gaze, my heart skipping a beat as I spy Ewan heading towards her with his normal confidence.

"Though I do not believe I know him," she says.

"I do," I say softly.

Ewan reaches us and bows deeply. "Miss Whisking."

"Mr Milne," I respond. "This is my dear friend, Mrs Stoaly." I gesture to Harriet.

"A pleasure," he says to her.

"Likewise," Harriet responds, giving me a curious look.

"I was wondering if you were free for this dance, Miss Whisking?" he asks.

"I believe there is space on my dance card," I respond, lifting the wrist it's attached to even though he doesn't need to see it.

He smiles, the gesture reaching his eyes and making them full of warmth. "In which case, it would be my honour to escort you to the floor." He holds out his arm.

Harriet gives me a strange look.

"I shall see you on my return," I say to Harriet.

"I eagerly await it," she says.

I smile and thread my arm through Ewan's, allowing him to lead me away.

"She seems suspicious," Ewan says. "Have you not told her about me?"

"Considering our deal is to act like we're virtually strangers, I should think not."

"You wound me, Jane."

"Miss Whisking," I correct him. "There are people around who might mistake our informality for something it isn't."

"Is that so?" He comes to a stop as we reach the dance floor and take our position amongst the other dancers.

"You know it's so. You have never been a fool, Ewan. Don't start acting like one now."

He raises an eyebrow, and it takes me a moment to realise what I've done.

"Mr Milne," I correct myself.

"I much prefer it when you call me Ewan," he responds.

I swallow hard. I don't want to admit that I prefer it when he calls me Jane too, even if it's true. "That may be the case, but we have a deal to see through, and that includes making sure that people don't think we're familiar with one another."

"Would it really be such a shame if they did realise that?" he asks as the musicians begin to play. It's a good thing that they are, it will mean that our conversation is drowned out and no one will be able to hear when I slip up and call him by his given name, as I have no doubt that I'm going to end up doing that again, even if I wish that wasn't the case.

The couple at the top of our set begin to go through the steps of the dance, leaving the rest of us to watch or continue our conversations while we wait for our turn.

"It will harm my chances of finding a husband if members of the ton believe that I am too familiar with you," I point out.

He stills. "You're seeking a husband?"

"What did you think I was doing in London?"

"I'm not entirely certain," he admits. "I suppose a husband does make sense." The way he looks at me makes my heart flutter, but I do my best to ignore it.

"I need the protection of a good marriage now more than ever," I say. "And preferably to someone with the ability to protect my family too."

Pain crosses his face, and I can tell that he's bothered by his father's choices, even if he has no say over them. "I'm sorry."

"It isn't your fault," I say softly. "And I know that as well as you do."

"Somehow, I still feel like it might be," he responds.

"Then you are being a fool."

The dancers reach us and cut off our conversation, giving me a moment to collect my thoughts. I should have said no to his request for dances. It's only going to make things more complicated than they need to be, and if there's one thing I don't need, it's making things more complicated. Finding a husband is going to be difficult enough without many people vouching for me, and if people then think that I have feelings for someone else, it's only going to become more so.

Without meaning to, my gaze slips to Ewan and I find myself wondering what it would be like to not have to worry about any of this, like it was in Scotland before I left. We'd often let ourselves get caught up in the moment, whispering and dancing. Once, we even came close to a kiss. I'd wanted it more than anything I've ever wanted in my life, but he'd stopped it at the last moment, before we'd slipped over into actual impropriety. Did he think about that moment as much as I did? There had been something in the air that I don't think I've ever experienced with anyone else.

"So, are there any suitors I should be aware of?" Ewan asks me as our part of the dance comes to an end, and we rest while the next couple take their place to go through their part.

"I'm sorry?"

"Suitors," he repeats slowly. "You said that you wish to be married."

"It is hardly a wish, it is a necessity."

"I suppose they are close enough. But you haven't answered the question, Miss Whisking."

Despite knowing it's for the best, a pain goes through my heart at the sound of him addressing me properly. I don't want to be Miss Whisking to him, I want to be Jane. I want him to whisper my name the way he used to, the way that made it sound as if he felt things for me that are only talked about at the corners of the dance floor.

"I have no suitors," I respond.

"That is a surprise."

"Hardly. I came here without anyone to introduce me to society. I may technically have been presented, but that doesn't mean much without introductions." I try not to feel too frustrated by his comments. He has never had the misfortune of attending society events as a woman and is much more at liberty to do as he pleases, even when it is something that would be frowned upon, he can get away with it.

Like his occupation as a thief. I won't be the only person who has noticed his escapades.

"Should that change, perhaps I can do you a favour and get to know the gentleman, at least then you can be assured that he is of good character."

I raise an eyebrow. "And you are going to be the judge of that, are you?"

"You may have a point."

"I do." I resist the urge to smile at him to soften my critique.

"Though I could ask him questions related to things you wish to know."

"Considering that this gentleman is very much theoretical, I don't believe we need to discuss this."

"So what shall we discuss, Miss Whisking?"

I meet his gaze, trying not to think of all the times I've stared into his eyes. "I think we should spend the rest of this dance in silence."

"Very well, if that's your desire, then I shall make sure I do my very best to accommodate," he responds. A stoic expression crosses his face, one that I would rather not see.

But I know I can't be a sentimental fool. With everything that has happened between our families, there is no place for any kind of feelings towards Ewan. They must be put away and never thought of again, for both of our sakes.