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13

Hendrix

M y eyes open, and the luscious smell of blueberries has me rolling out of the queen-sized bed in Haddy’s room.

I was really enjoying the movie last night, but training camp is kicking my ass. As starting tight end, I’m on the field half the game or more, which means I have to be able to go the distance. Which means my training is brutal.

I start the morning with two hours of squats, hanging presses, leg presses, and an assortment of other strength-training exercises, including weight lifting.

From there, I move to footwork drills and running. We spend a few hours working on catching and blocking before breaking for lunch, then I’m back at it with special teams training.

My muscles are sore as I stand, but it’ll pass. I’ll whip back into shape in no time.

Haddy’s crib is empty, and I pull on my T-shirt and joggers before stopping off in the hall bathroom to get rid of my morning wood and drain the vein. From there, I continue to the kitchen to find the source of this mouth-watering aroma .

The closer I get, I hear the inviting sound of cooking mixed with the even more inviting sound of Raven singing. She’s got a really great voice, and she’s singing some perky tune about the morning and loving Baltimore.

When I reach the kitchen entrance, I stop in my tracks, smiling as I take in the sight. Raven’s dark hair is styled in a messy bun on top of her head, and she’s wearing a soft-cotton, long-sleeved flowery shirt. She has on matching shorts with a little ruffle around the legs, and she’s doing a skippy dance on bare feet with her toenails painted bright red.

Haddy is in her baby chair watching her and chewing on a blue ring that has the head of an elephant on one end. She rocks in her seat to the music, making baby noises as her mother cooks.

It’s really cute until Raven dances over to the cabinet, reaching overhead for the plates and those shorts rise higher on her shapely thighs. Then it changes to something else.

My eyes drift to her round ass, and I lick my lips remembering her on her hands and knees looking back at me with hooded lids as I fucked her from behind.

Once again, my dick is hard, and there’s no way I can hide it in these thin pants. She spins around, and I quickly step to the side, hiding behind the wall so I can calm down.

“Hendrix, hey—good morning!” She smiles, putting the plate on the counter beside the stove before returning to pick up a medium-sized bowl. “I went to that grocery store site again… Erehwon ? They had these blueberries, and gah! They’re so good!”

Thankfully, she’s too preoccupied by her cooking to notice me clearing my throat and running my hand down my cock while I think of cold showers, poopy diapers, cat vomit.

That did it.

“Do they?” I’m somewhat back to normal when I enter the room.

“Yes!” She sets the bowl down and skips over to me, holding a round, deep-purple fruit between two fingers. “They’re perfectly firm, and they’re like little blueberry explosions in your mouth. Try one.”

She holds it up, and our eyes meet. I lean forward, using my lips to pull it from her fingertips into my mouth. As I graze her fingers, her lips part. Her eyes widen, and she exhales a soft Oh!

Heat swirls in the air around us, and my semi is back. She quickly blinks down, turning and returning to the stove.

“I, um… ordered some for us, and I’m making blueberry pancakes.” I watch her shoulders shimmy as she quickly flips the three round cakes in the pan. “California’s mild climate allows the berries to mature longer, which makes the flavor richer.”

“You don’t say.” I walk over to the coffee machine and slip a pod in the slot. “It smells delicious.”

“These are for you.” She glances at me, giving me a cautious smile. “They say you’re supposed to throw away the first pancake, but I never do that.”

“Why would you?” I press the button, crossing my arms as I lean against the counter, facing her.

Her eyes drift over my chest and shoulders before she quickly returns her attention to the stove. She did that when I got home yesterday, running her eyes all over my arms and legs before becoming very focused on Haddy.

It makes me wonder how committed she really is to this abstinence rule. I’m sure she remembers how good we are together. It’s been almost two years, but I remember every detail, including her on my lap, throwing her head back and riding me like a pony at the fair.

Shit . I’ve got to stop thinking about these things. Turning away, I adjust my fly as I conjure images of maggots… nose hair… saggy old-man butt…

My jaw is tight, but I’ve got to kill this erection.

“It’s supposed to be the sacrificial pancake.” She continues talking, not seeming to notice my struggle. “Like you use it to test the pan or make sure the batter’s right. I think it’s a waste of a good pancake. ”

My coffee’s ready, and I take the mug out, returning to where she’s standing. She quickly scoops three pancakes onto the plate and holds it out to me.

Her pretty brown eyes meet mine, and I study her full lips, her dark hair with the gold highlights around the front. Her soft breasts rise and fall with her breaths, and it all feels…

“I’ve never used this type of mixture before. It’s also organic and back to nature and the best food in the world.” She uses a pretend announcer-voice as she walks past me to the coffee maker. “There’s butter and honey and syrup on the table, again all-natural, organic superfood.”

I look down at the plate and over at my little girl, who’s watching me with big eyes as she chews her rubber elephant.

“Good morning, nugget.” I lean down to kiss the top of her head, but she’s very focused on gnawing that ring.

“I think she’s getting a tooth.” Raven walks back with a mug of coffee in her hand. “Won’t that be the cutest thing? Haddy with a little baby tooth?”

“Yeah,” I exhale a laugh, focusing my thoughts on baby teeth and not boning her mother. “Aren’t you having any?”

“I ate with Haddy. Those blueberries cook perfectly.”

Nodding, I put butter on mine and grab the jar of honey. “Newhope has really good blueberries. There’s a farm where you can bring your own bucket and pay one price to pick all you want.”

“Really?” Her face brightens with a smile.

“Yeah, I’ll take you when we go back.”

A hesitant pause falls between us, but she quickly fills it. “I got a message from Star Corrigan at KCLA. She asked if I could come by and meet their station manager today!”

“Hey, that’s great!” I take a bite then lean back in my chair with a groan. “Not as great as these pancakes. Dang, Raven, this is delicious.”

I cut another big bite with my fork as she talks. “I can’t believe you were able to line something up that fast! ”

“I told you, I’m a celebrity.” I give her a wink, and she does a cute little eye roll. “Seriously—they cover us every week, so I know the reporters. I told you, it’s a small station.”

“That only leaves one problem.” Worried eyes meet mine, and I frown. “What will we do with Haddy? She can’t go with me to work.”

“She’ll go with me.” I smile, reaching out to tug on the ring covered in drool.

Raven’s brow creases. “She can do that?”

“Sure! We have childcare on-site at the stadium. Everybody uses it, and I’ll be able to check on her during the day. It’ll be fine.”

Her lips press into a worried smile, and she reaches out to slide a finger down Haddy’s chubby leg. “She’s never stayed with anyone but my sister and me.”

“We could fly your sister out here if you want? That would be okay.”

“No.” She exhales heavily. “Mimi has school, and as much as I think she’d like LA, she’s pretty established at Emory. Besides, she needs to live her life and not worry about Haddy all the time.”

I polish off the last of my pancakes then take the plate over to the sink. Raven stays at the table threading her finger in Haddy’s little fist as she watches her. I can tell she’s anxious.

“What can we do to make you feel better?” I walk back to where she stands. “Want to go with me to meet the ladies? From what I understand they’re really nice, like sweet old grandmas.”

“Do you mind?” She squints up at me.

“Not a bit. Get dressed, and I can introduce you to them before I start my day. If you’re happy, Haddy can stay with them, and I’ll bring her home with me.”

“Okay! Give us twenty minutes.” She lifts our daughter out of her chair and hugs her to her chest, looking up at me. “Thanks, Hendrix. For all of this. You’ve really just been…”

“Stop.” I step forward to put my hand on her shoulder. “I told you how I feel. It’s important for you to do the things you’ve dreamed of doing. It’s good for Haddy.”

“Yeah, but this is way more than I ever imagined.”

“Good.” I smile before giving her shoulder a squeeze. “Now hustle up. I’ve got to get to the stadium before I’m late and Coach makes me do extra drills.”

She smiles and trots out of the room with Haddy on her shoulder. I watch her go, letting my eyes trace down her lovely curves. I probably have just enough time to hit the shower and relieve some of this tension before she’s ready.

“What a little angel!” Sherri Pace holds out a finger to Haddy, who’s sitting on my arm as we do our little meet-and-greet outside the Dutch door of the nursery. “She looks just like you!”

“I had no idea you were a dad, Hendrix.” An older woman joins us at the door.

“Ah, yeah…” I squint one eye, doing a little point. “Miss…”

“Martha Torres. Nursery supervisor.”

“Nice to meet you.” I nod at Raven. “Haddy and her mom are here staying with me for a little while. This is Raven. I brought her to meet you all.”

“That’s very thoughtful. Did you bring your daughter’s medical records? We have an online portal?—”

“We can take their word for it today, Martha.” Sherri gives her a nudge, then leans closer, lowering her voice. “Martha loves to give the new dads a hard time.”

“They probably need it.” I wink at her, turning on the charm.

“Oh, boy,” Martha shakes her head. “You’ve got your hands full with this one.”

“He’s not so bad.” Raven’s tone is equally teasing. “We’ve almost graduated to poopy diapers.”

“Is that so?” The older woman’s eyebrows rise. “Sounds like you can handle him.”

Raven’s ears turn pink, and I almost chuckle. She can handle me all night long.

Clearing her throat, she looks at our daughter. “Haddy’s never stayed with anyone but my sister or me. I’m not sure how she’s going to react to being alone with… people she doesn’t know.”

Sherri gives her a warm smile. “I expect any good parent would want to know who’s taking care of their baby.”

Haddy clutches my shirtsleeve watching all of us curiously. Axel is under one arm, and she has that elephant ring in her hand. I can’t tell if she likes these ladies or not, and I hadn’t really considered the possibility she might not like it here.

Now I’m getting worried about leaving her.

“I’ll be right in the workout room or on the field if she cries or anything.”

It’s my turn to get the warm Sherri smile. “We’ve got a lot of experience with babies.” She steps closer to our girl. “Hi, Haddy! I’m Miss Sherri. Would you like to play with me today?”

She holds out her hands, but Haddy doesn’t move. It’s an awkward moment with Sherri smiling and blinking, palms up and extended to our six-month-old.

Raven steps closer to me, speaking quietly. “Maybe try passing her over.”

A knot forms in my stomach, and I look down at my little girl staring at the woman. I’m not sure passing her over is the right thing to do. It feels like I’m forcing her, and I would never do that.

To think I was so confident when we left the house this morning. Now my shoulders are tense, and I’m ready to return to the idea of flying Amelia here. Raven thinks she’ll like it. UCLA is a great school, and we could cover all her living expenses for the time they’re here .

Martha seems to read the situation at once. “Why don’t you walk her in and show her around?”

Her voice is calm and authoritative. She puts her hand on Sherri’s arm and opens the door slowly for us to step inside the large playroom.

Five other children are already here. They’re all small, and most seem to be around Haddy’s age. One is crawling around, and the biggest one is actually walking.

I have no idea whose kids they are. I’ve never paid any attention to which players had families, and I never cared to find out. All this baby stuff was so far off my radar two weeks ago.

“What do we do?” I look down at the smiling ladies.

Raven is at my side, surveying the room as well. It’s bright and happy with lots of toys, blocks and balls all around.

The floor is covered in rainbow-colored foam squares that fit together like puzzle pieces with large letters in the centers. Together they form the alphabet.

One wall has colorful, blobby monsters with numbers on their bellies. On the opposite side of the room, a row of cribs lines the wall. A baby is asleep in one of them.

“Here, have a seat.” Sherri motions to a gliding chair near the playing kids, and I walk over to sit in it with Haddy on my leg. “Place her on the floor and see if she’ll start to play.”

I glance up at Raven, and she nods encouragingly.

I’m not so sure she’s ready for that. I’m having flashbacks of my first time taking swim lessons, and even though I grew up playing all along the bay and ocean, I didn’t want to jump in the pool.

Garrett finally got sick of watching me pace back and forth and threw me in. He was grounded for that stunt, but I’ve never been a fan of swimming pools ever since.

“It’s okay.” Raven’s voice is soft. “See what she does.”

My jaw clenches, and I look down at Hads. She’s still gripping my sleeve in her little fist. She’s holding Axel close to her chest, and a very serious expression is on her baby face. This would be a lot easier if she could tell me what she’s thinking.

Instead of putting her down, I move to sit on the floor with her. The other children aren’t interested in us. One little boy stands beside a round plastic toy that has chutes for colorful balls to roll through.

It makes boing -ey type sounds as the balls pass, and he does Haddy’s little bouncing trick, bending his knees and squealing. Haddy seems interested, so I move closer to him, putting her on her feet beside it.

Raven picks up one of the balls and drops it into the top of the chute. It spins all around, setting off different noises and lights, and Haddy drops Axel in her attempt to catch it.

“Did you see the ball?” Raven uses her high-pitched baby voice. “Here, you try.”

She squats beside Haddy, holding out a small blue ball for her to try. Haddy takes it in her hand, but instead of dropping it in the slot, she puts it in her mouth and starts gnawing on it.

“I think she’s cutting a tooth.” Raven looks up at Sherri.

The woman smiles, shaking her head. “Don’t worry, we wash all the toys every day.”

Haddy moves away from her mother, doing her little wobble-crawl maneuver to get inside the ring. She seems okay with this. The other kid is busy doing his thing, not paying attention to our daughter.

“Now might be the time to slip out.” Sherri nods at the door, and I glance up at the clock on the wall.

I’m late for practice, but I don’t give a shit. I’ll do the extra drills to be sure Haddy isn’t scared or crying or thinking we ditched her with a bunch of strangers.

Raven puts her hand on my arm. “Let’s try.”

My jaw tightens, but I stand slowly, going with her to the door but not taking my eyes off our daughter.

Haddy gives up on the blue ball and grabs a red, diamond-shaped block to chew on instead .

“Send somebody to get me if she cries.” My chest is tight, and it’s a gruff order.

Sherri smiles brightly. “I’m sure she’ll be fine, but if she isn’t, we know where to find you.”

“Here’s my number. Text me. Call if I don’t respond right away.” I make sure she has it programmed into her phone.

Raven gives Martha the big purple bag with all of Haddy’s supplies, and we step out into the hall again. Our daughter is still happily putting every toy in her mouth, not seeming to notice we’re gone.

Knots twist in my stomach as I watch her.

“She looks okay.” Raven’s voice is quiet, and I’m surprised at how calm she is.

“You think we should just leave her here?” I sound astonished.

“You said they’re like nice old grandmas, and they are.” She blinks quickly as if trying to justify her answer. “You’ll be on-site the whole time. You gave them your number…”

Frowning, I look back at Haddy once more. My shoulders are still tight, and I exhale a shallow breath.

“I’ll check on her in an hour or so.” We start to walk in the direction of the weight room.

Raven rubs her hand back and forth over my shoulder blade, I guess trying to ease my tension. “It’s good for her to branch out a little, and this isn’t too far from us.”

I look back in the direction we came. Soft children’s music plays through the open top door, and I think about getting one of those baby slings. I could strap her on my back while I practice. It wouldn’t work while I was on the field doing drills, but I could have her in one of those baby chairs on the sidelines for that part.

“Hey, man, what the fuck? You’re late.” Tyler walks out the weight room to where I’m standing with Raven, mentally exploring options for keeping Haddy with me. “Well, hello, there! I’m Tyler Winslow, starting quarterback for the Tigers. And you are?”

He’s turning on all his playboy charm, holding out his hand to Raven, and I snap out of it. “Tyler, this is Raven Gale.”

“Hello, Raven.” He winks, shaking her hand. “Do you live in LA? Just visiting?”

“Oh, I’m—” Raven starts, but I finish for her.

“She’s staying with me.” I hit the me a little hard, and Tyler’s eyebrow arches. “Raven and I have a daughter, Haddy. We just dropped her off at the nursery with Sherri and Martha.”

“A baby ? What the hell?” My friend’s chin pulls back. “When did that happen?”

“About six months ago,” I start, and this time Raven cuts in.

“I had really bad morning sickness, and then when she was born, it wasn’t so easy to get around…”

Her voice trails off, so I pick up the thread. “She’s really smart and cute.”

“You sure she’s related to you?” He quips.

“Har har.” I set myself up for that one. “Raven wanted to check the place out.”

Tyler’s eyes flicker from me to her, and he turns reassuring. “Rusty’s kids stay here. They have a two-year-old and a baby. He says the ladies are great.”

“They seem very sweet.” Raven looks up at me. “I’d better get going if I’m going to make it to the station.”

“Take my car.” I pass her the fob. “I’ll catch a ride home with this guy.”

“Sure, no problem.” Tyler grins, and I know he’s just waiting for her to leave to give me shit.

She puts her hand up, blocking the fob. “The car seat.”

“Oh, shit.” I smack my forehead. “I forgot about that.”

“I can call an Uber or Lyft—or I could come back and get you?”

“Yeah, I’ll shoot you a message when we’re done. ”

“Okay, well… You’re late.” She smiles, taking the fob. “Thanks for helping me out.”

My lips twist, and I want to say she doesn’t have to thank me for helping with my daughter. I want to say a lot of things to her, none of which I recognize as stuff the Hendrix Bradford would say. Who am I these days?

“Good luck today,” I reply. “Let me know how it goes.”

“Let me know how it goes with Haddy.” She turns to leave, then glances back to wave at my friend. “Nice to meet you, Tyler.”

He smiles, running his eyes along her face and then lower. “ Very nice to meet you, Raven. I hope to see more of you.”

His flirty tone snaps me out of my mini-identity crisis. If anybody’s getting in Raven’s pants, it’s me.

“That’s enough.” I punch his shoulder. “Let’s get moving before Coach notices we’re not there.”

Raven continues walking, but Tyler walks backward beside me, licking his lips. “Baby mama, eh? Where you been hiding her?”

“Remember when I had to go to Newhope last week?” He nods. “That’s why.”

“Now I get why you didn’t want to go to Jaguar’s.” He lifts his chin in approval. “I don’t blame you.”

“Just keep your mind on your business.” I haven’t even gotten to the whole marriage part, mostly because I haven’t thought it through.

If I tell my teammates, it’ll leak to the media, then all my family will know. My throat tightens, considering what will happen if they all know we’re married. They’d do everything in their power to keep us together, and that’s not the plan.

Coach yells our names, and we jog into the weight room. My friend has no idea what I’m dealing with, and to be honest, I’m not sure I do either.