Page 25 of The Warrior Priest (After the Rift #1)

T ilting had changed in the months we’d been away.

The lords and ladies had returned and now went about their business as if they’d never been visiting the palace in Mull.

They drove in their carriages with the curtains open or rode on their high-stepping horses through the park, keen to be seen in their finery.

They were very visible and seemingly happy to be back in the city.

The constables were less visible, however.

Talk at the Cat and Mouse centered around the stripping back of the governor’s powers, although no one seemed to know how this had come about.

The rumored changes to sentencing had never gone ahead, so thieves were no longer in danger of being hanged if they were caught, and the victims of rape once again had a voice in court and wouldn’t suffer repercussions.

The governor also no longer had the power to pass decisions without the approval of the council. I was safe. I couldn’t be arrested without just cause. Even if he did capture me, he wouldn’t harm me while he thought I could unlock the power within the pendant.

It was a relief to be able to walk through the city without fear, and to know that I was right and that Uncle Roderic’s plan to use the magic in the pendant hadn’t worked.

It was likely it held no magic, after all.

The myth of the sorcerer was probably just that, a myth.

Rhys would be pleased that his religious beliefs remained unchallenged.

Rhys. Although every street, every corner, and every rooftop reminded me of him, I avoided going near the temple of Merdu’s Guards and the room where we used to meet. Instead, I focused on getting my pendant back.

I was familiar with the routine of the governor’s office.

There was no reason to believe anything had changed.

If I wanted to get in, I could use the same method I’d used when I memorized the document that gave him extra power.

I’d have to tuck my hair away, now that it was longer, but I could pass as a boy again if necessary.

I decided to watch his home instead. While Giselle called on her dying friend, I studied the comings and goings from Uncle Roderic’s house from the roof of his neighbor’s manor.

Once it became too dark to see, I climbed down, using water pipes and vines as my ladders, and set off, intending to return to the Cat and Mouse. The sight of Andreas talking to a woman beneath a lamppost stopped me in my tracks. My breath caught in a gasp of surprise.

The woman noticed me and thrust her hand on her hip. “Get going! This is my turf and he’s with me.”

Andreas turned. “I am not with— Jac? Is that you?”

I spun on my heel and walked quickly away. I should have run.

Andreas jogged up to me. “It is you!” He threw his arms around me and hugged me tightly. “Thank the merciful goddess. Vizah! Rufus! Look who it is.” I tried to leave before they arrived, but Andreas was still holding my shoulders. His gaze swept over me. “Well, well. You grew up.”

It wasn’t until then that I spotted Vizah and Rufus lounging by a door to a nearby tavern. They’d been keeping watch on the area. They now joined us.

“Merdu and Hailia,” Rufus muttered, shaking his head. “Jac. There had better be a good explanation for this.”

I opened my mouth to speak, but Vizah got in first. “That’s not Jac.

” He squinted and peered closer at me. “Merdu’s blood.

It is Jac!” He pointed at my breasts, drawing little circles in the air.

“Good disguise. They look real. How do you get your hips to look so natural? Why are you pretending to be a woman anyway?”

Andreas snickered into his hand.

Rufus rolled his eyes as he shook his head. “Jac is a woman. She always has been, you dolt. She used to disguise herself as a boy. Seems she’s no longer bothering.”

Every sentence deepened the frown scoring Vizah’s brow. He gently gripped my chin and angled my face to the light. He grunted. “Who’s going to tell Rhys?”

“Rhys knows,” I said. “He has always known.”

Andreas put up a hand. “As have I. Women are my specialty. Speaking of which, I wasn’t with that whore. She collects information for us, and I— Looks like she’s gone.” He shrugged. “Her news must not have been that important after all.”

“You don’t have to explain anything to me,” I said.

He puffed out his chest. “True. You already know I don’t need to pay my lovers.”

Rufus smacked Andreas’s shoulder with the back of his hand. “Don’t flirt with her.”

“I wasn’t. I can’t help it if I’m naturally charming.” He tossed his head, making his golden hair ripple.

Rufus rolled his eyes again.

Vizah hugged me. “Rhys will be so relieved.”

“Don’t tell him I’m back in Tilting,” I said.

He pulled away, frowning. “Why not?”

“He’s been looking for you everywhere these last months,” Andreas added.

It was my turn to frown. “Why?”

Rufus huffed a humorless laugh. “What did you think he was going to do? Just accept your disappearance?”

“Disappearance?”

“I don’t like the thought of you disrupting his life again,” Rufus went on. “Especially now that you look like…” He flapped a hand at my body and face. “But it’s cruel to let him go on thinking you’re dead or were abducted. You may not care about him enough to be kind, but we do."

“Dead?” It was so absurd that I started to laugh, only to stop again when none of them joined in. “No. He knew I left Tilting. I wrote him a note to tell him.”

“He didn’t receive it. Who did you give it to?”

Giselle . She’d told me he’d read it and even what he’d said in response.

She’d lied.

I didn’t tell them, however. I felt too sick to speak. Rhys thought I’d died, and so soon after losing his beloved Master Tomaj, too. Thank Hailia he’d had these three at his side.

Rufus crossed his arms over his chest and glared icily at me. “He lights the candle every night in your meeting place, hoping you’ll see it and know he’s searching for you. Every night, Jac.”

I felt like I’d been punched in the gut. My breath came in rapid bursts and my legs buckled. I needed to sit down. I searched the vicinity for a crate or barrel, but gave up without really taking in my surroundings. “You know about that place?”

“We do. No one else does.”

“He’ll be there now,” Vizah said.

Rufus pointed a finger at me. “No, Jac. Don’t go.”

Andreas pushed him aside. “Ignore him, Jac. You should go. Rhys needs to see you.”

“No,” Rufus said again. “Look at her!” Vizah and Andreas both looked. “It’s a terrible idea. He’ll… They’ll… It’s just a very bad idea.”

“Bollocks,” Vizah said. “You know what he’s been like. Seeing her will be good for him.”

Rufus gave up on them and appealed to me. “You understand why it’s a bad idea, don’t you? We’ll tell him you’re alive. That will make him feel better?—”

Andreas interrupted with a snort.

“—and he can move on, knowing you left him of your own accord,” Rufus continued. “There’s no need for you to see him, Jac.”

I’d returned to Tilting determined not to see Rhys.

Hearing that he thought I’d died or been abducted had made that conviction waver, but Rufus was right.

I should stay away for Rhys’s own good. For mine, too.

Besides, I had another person I very much wanted to see that night, and she had a lot of explaining to do.

“Tell him I’m alive,” I told Rufus. “Then tell him I don’t want to see him.”

Rufus released a breath. “Thank you for understanding.”

“Rufus!” Vizah cried.

Andreas threw his hands in the air. “I think it’s a mistake. Jac, if you change your mind?—”

“I won’t.”

Rufus grasped Andreas’s tunic at the shoulder and pulled him away. “Let her go. She has her business, and we have ours, or have you forgotten why we’re here.”

“Zelda has gone,” Andreas pointed out. “Whatever she wanted to tell us obviously wasn’t that important.”

Rufus checked over his shoulder to see if Vizah followed.

Vizah took a few steps in their direction, then glanced back at me.

He smiled. “You’re pretty, Jac. I can’t believe I never noticed before.

It’s probably just as well you’re not going to see Rhys.

He’s not looking his best. He really let himself go after you disappeared. ” He trotted after the others.

I turned and headed for the Cat and Mouse, more furious than I’d ever been in my life.

Giselle cut a lonely figure nursing a tankard of ale. Seeing her dying friend had taken a toll. But not even sympathy could dampen my anger.

I stood beside the table, arms crossed, and glared down at her. “Why didn’t you deliver my note to Rhys?”

She sat back with a heavy sigh. “You’ve seen him?”

“His friends. He thought I’d died or been abducted, because he never received my note. You told me you’d delivered it. Why did you lie?

She put up her hands in surrender. “I’m sorry. I truly am. I know it hurt him, but it’s kinder in the long run to let him think you were dead.”

“How is it a kindness?”

“Because death is an ending. He needed closure or he’d never move on.”

“That’s bollocks. You did it for selfish reasons. You knew he’d try to talk me out of going with you, so you wanted to avoid us meeting before I left.”

She stood and reached for my shoulders, but I stepped back.

“That’s not true, Jac. I’ve known Rhys a long time, and I could see that he cared enough about you to not be able to stay away, but not enough to leave the order for you.

If he knew you were still alive, he’d always be doubting his choice to stay in the order, always wondering if he made the right decision.

By letting him think you’d died or didn’t care enough to tell him you were going, I removed that choice and self-doubt.

I know you feel as though I betrayed you, but if you set aside your hurt feelings for a moment and think about it, you’ll agree it was in his best interests. Yours, too.”

“He’s about to find out I’m alive and well.”

“They’re going to tell him? Fools. I suppose it’s too late to stop them.”

“Probably.”