Page 16 of The Warrior Priest (After the Rift #1)

Once the man had turned the corner, Rhys picked up our conversation as if there’d been no interruption.

“Women aren’t allowed because we train semi-naked a lot of the time.

There are high walls because it was once a fort.

Like the castle, it was built to withstand a siege.

There are no mysteries or secrets, Jac.”

“Oh really? Are you telling me everyone knows I spy for you?”

“That’s different,” he mumbled.

“Ha! Tripped over by your own logic.”

He trudged on, half-dragging, half-carrying the corpse beside him. I could tell without looking at him that he was annoyed. This was why we rarely spoke about religion.

“Are you still talking to me?” I hedged.

“No.” After a few more steps, he said, “You like picking holes in my faith. Why?”

He’d never asked me such a direct question about my beliefs, or lack of, before. “I don’t like to pick holes, Rhys. I just…” I sighed. “I don’t believe the same things as you do, that’s all.”

“Fine. I don’t care.”

“Don’t you?” I asked archly.

He stopped again and looked at me. “No, Jac, I don’t. We can still be friends .” He walked off again, leaving me staring at his back. By emphasizing the ‘friends’, it made the absence of any other kind of relationship more obvious. As if I weren’t very aware of the absence already.

Usually when we touched on religion, the subject was quickly changed. Not this time. To my surprise, Rhys didn’t try to change it. “Sorry, Jac,” he said when I caught up to him. “I know I sound defensive, but… The thing is, I can see the holes in the logic, too.”

“You don’t have to justify yourself, Rhys.”

“Thanks.” He hefted the body higher, lifting the feet off the ground, before settling the weight again. He might not find the body heavy, but he was finding it awkward.

I set aside my repulsion and slipped the dead man’s other arm around my shoulders, helping Rhys carry him. We shared grim smiles over the top of the lolling head.

“The thing is,” Rhys went on, “the order got me through some very difficult times after my father died. I never knew my mother, so he was my entire world, and I was at that age when a boy becomes a man. He was good friends with Master Tomaj, so it was natural for him to take me in when I had no one else. I wasn’t the easiest youth.

” He huffed a laugh. “I got drunk a lot. I was arrested more times than I can count. I did a lot of other things I should have been arrested for but was never caught. Master Tomaj persisted with me when everyone told him I was a lost cause. He was more patient with me than my own father would have been.” He adjusted the weight of the body again.

“At some point, I joined the brothers in their training. It taught me discipline and restraint, and gave me a purpose, a reason to stop drinking and doing stupid things.”

“You don’t call this stupid?”

He laughed softly. “My purpose is noble this time.”

“Rhys, I understand why you joined the order.”

“But you don’t know why I stay, not when I see the same holes that you do or disagree with some of the rules.

” When I didn’t respond, he continued. “I don’t think priests and priestesses should be celibate.

Nor do I agree with the rigid hours of prayer.

It should be done when the time feels right, not when a bell tolls.

Sometimes, I used to question myself as to whether I’d done the right thing in joining.

I’d ask myself should I stay or go? I decided to stay, and the reason why is always the same. ”

I’d never realized he’d questioned his devotion to the order. By always avoiding discussions of religion for fear it would divide us, it had kept a very important part of Rhys from me. “Why?”

“Because I want to. I feel as though I’m in the right place.”

It was a response that provoked no counter-response. As someone who preferred to deal in facts, not unproven beliefs, I couldn’t argue with him. It was an indisputable fact that a person couldn’t decide to feel a particular way. They just did.

“Does that make sense?” he asked.

“It does. I understand now.”

If he noticed my voice sounded strained as I held back my tears, he didn’t say anything.

The small spark of hope I’d held that he would one day leave the order for me, despite what he’d said after the kiss, extinguished.

My heart shattered. It wasn’t until that moment that I even realized I’d held some hope that he’d change his mind, that the feelings we both felt were strong enough to convince him to leave the order to be with me.

Without hope…what was left?

I plodded on, the body getting heavier with every step. It was a relief when Rhys announced we’d arrived.

I blinked, looking around. “The deputy governor’s house is down there.”

“We’re not going that way. I’m going to wait here while you go around the back and pick off a piece of the vine that grows up to the balcony. Make sure to include leaves or flowers, something that easily identifies it as having come from that particular vine.”

I shucked off my cloak but didn’t want to place it around the smelly clothing on the corpse, so I folded it up and placed it near Rhys’s feet.

I left him and raced around to the rear of the properties, following the same route I’d used when I followed Giselle on the night of the murder.

It was darker tonight, the moon offering very little light to help me find my way.

The leaves from a low-hanging branch struck me across the face, stinging my cheek, and I stepped in a large puddle that hadn’t been there last time.

The poor light meant I didn’t feel so exposed as I raced across the lawn and twisted off a section of the vine.

I made sure to include some russet-colored leaves and a small berry that had shriveled in the cold.

In a strong wind, both would fall off, so I was careful to protect them as I returned to Rhys.

I tucked the vine, leaves and berry into the corpse’s boot, twisting one end around the boot laces so that it wouldn’t easily fall out.

Now all we had to do was take the body to the river.

Going by the smell on the clothes, it had to be returned to the industrial part of the city.

In the morning, a worker would find it and alert the constables.

Hopefully they were smart enough to check it thoroughly and find the evidence we’d planted.

It was a long walk from the exclusive residential area where the deputy governor had lived.

We’d only traveled a few streets when Rhys offered to take the full weight of the body.

I hesitated before slipping free. “I saw a barrow earlier. We can put him in that.” I handed Rhys my cloak, which I still hadn’t put back on, then retreated the way we’d come.

I turned the corner just as a carriage passed, its lamps swinging, providing enough light for me to see the governor’s escutcheon on the door.

“Merdu,” I muttered as I crouched behind a bush.

But it was too late. I’d been seen. The occupant of the carriage ordered the driver to stop.

As it slowed, two guards jumped off the footboards and ran toward me.

“Come out!” The shout wasn’t from the guards. It came from my uncle as he stepped down from the carriage.

Without my cloak, I had no hood to cover my fair hair. The color was common among Glancians, so I doubted Uncle Roderic could be certain it was me, and the light was too poor for him to have seen my face properly. “Show yourself!” he demanded as he hurried after his men.

Crouching where I was, I was a sitting duck. I sprang up and ran. I had a head start, and was quick, but it wouldn’t be long before I tired. Stamina wasn’t one of my strengths.

I took a circuitous route, intending to find somewhere to hide, only to realize I was back where I started. Rhys stood with the corpse in the shadows of a large tree on the side of the street.

“Jac, what’s wrong?”

I bent double, gasping in air. “My uncle. Must hide.”

He hurriedly placed the corpse on the ground then linked his hands to form a cradle.

I placed a foot in his hands and he pushed me up into the branches. I scrambled higher and settled in position, just as the carriage appeared.

It came to a stop as Rhys picked up the body, my cloak wrapped around it with the hood up. I touched the pendant hanging around my neck, and did my best to calm my breathing, but it wasn’t easy when my nerves trembled.

Uncle Roderic stepped out of the carriage. “You! Who are you hiding under there?”

The guards fell into step alongside him and drew their swords. “It’s a priest, sir,” one of them said as he re-sheathed his sword.

The governor squinted. “I know you. You’re Master Tomaj’s deputy, from Merdu’s Guards.”

“I am,” Rhys said.

“Are you drunk?”

“I’m not but my friend is.” Rhys moved the hood aside just enough to show the corpse’s hair. It was darker than mine.

Uncle Roderic made a sucking noise between his teeth. “Did you see anyone run past? A small lad, short fair hair.”

“No. Is he a thief? Vandal? We should alert the constables.”

Uncle Roderic ordered his men back to the carriage. Before climbing in himself, he cast a sneering look at Rhys. “What a disgrace,” he muttered.

Rhys didn’t move until the carriage was out of sight. “Need help getting down, Jac?”

I dropped from the lower branches onto the ground then dusted off my hands. “That was almost like old times. I thought we’d have to escape across the roofs again.”

“Thank Merdu we didn’t. This fellow is getting heavy.” He looked along the street in the direction the carriage had gone. “That was close. Jac, I’m worried about you.”

The last time he’d told me he was worried about me, he’d offered to marry me. That had led to awkwardness and then a retraction of the offer and more awkwardness. I didn’t want to go through that again.

“I’ll be fine.” What else could I say?

I fetched the barrow, and we bundled our corpse into it.

The rest of the journey went a little faster.

Downstream from the factories, we positioned the body so that it looked as though it had washed up onto the riverbank, leaving the boot with the evidence tucked inside in the water to soak the vine, leaves and berry.

“Thank you, friend,” Rhys said, patting the corpse’s shoulder. He picked up my cloak from the barrow and held it out to me.

“I’m not putting that on,” I said. “It stinks.”

“It’s too good to throw out and I can’t take it back to the garrison with me.”

I took the cloak but didn’t put it on.

“We have to return the barrow,” he said. “Get in. I’ll push.”

Being pushed around in the barrow by Rhys could be fun, and we both needed a good laugh. “All right.”

I climbed in, only to overbalance the unstable barrow.

It began to tip, but I was saved from falling out by Rhys.

He scooped me up into his arms and held me.

Firmly. I felt his chest rise and fall and heard the hitch in each breath as he struggled to steady it.

He watched me closely from beneath lowered lashes.

He must see me, and the depth of my feelings for him. How could he miss it?

“Jac.” He winced, as if saying my name hurt. “I can’t.”

“I know.”

“I want to,” he whispered. “So very much.”

“So do I.”

“I’m sorry.” He set me gently down.

I touched his jaw, allowing myself a moment of indulgence before withdrawing. “Don’t be sorry. It’s all right, Rhys. I understand.”

He closed his eyes and turned away.

I swallowed but the lump in my throat remained. “On second thought, I’m tired. You return the barrow. I’m going home.”

He picked up the barrow’s handles and pushed. He did not look back.

I headed in the opposite direction, not bothering to wipe the tears from my cheeks.