Page 93 of The Vampire Curse

My eyes slide closed. The sound of his voice, like a caress, sends shivers through me.

Alaric walks around the bench and sits next to me with only a hand’s breadth between our bodies. He looks out at the small pond.

Warmth crawls up my neck at his nearness.

“You’ve been avoiding me during the days.”

“No, I haven’t,” I say too quickly, my voice shrill.

Alaric slowly turns his gaze to me and gives me a doleful look. “You have. But what I can’t figure out is why?”

I chew on the inside of my cheek and say nothing.

“Clara, you sleep in my arms—in my bed—every night. I have marked you twice, and I’ve been inside you.”

Demons and saints… why does the man have to say it like that?My face grows warmer and I think I might combust into flames in this very spot.

“Don’t say it like that.”

“Why not? It’s true, or would you prefer if I said we’ve fucked?”

I glare. “No.”

His eyes bore into me as he continues. There’s no way he misses my blush, which makes it worse. “You are the human I have claimed—you are already everything you should be. It’s natural for us to want to be near each other.”

“Am I needed for something?” I blurt, desperate to change the subject.

Alaric regards me. I’ve been cold and distant toward him during the past week, but willingly climb into his bed and have him hold me every night. I have no doubt my actions are confusing.

“Clara… you did not have to return if you wished to stay with your sister.” There is hurt in his words.

Stop being a coward,I scold inwardly.He deserves to know what is going on in my head.

“I know… that’s not it.” I turn to him, but my eyes stay locked on my hands as I twist my fingers. I blow out a breath and say, “I’m afraid I will lose who I am… that I’ll end up becoming nothing more than a warm body that only wants to please you. That all my thoughts will be of wanting you.” I bite down hard on my lip. I can’t believe I’m admitting this. “The aspect of being with you isn’t what bothers me… I would just rather it be on my own terms, not be forced on me by the mark.” By the time I finish speaking, my voice is barely above a whisper.

We are friends… wanting him will make everything more complicated.

Alaric hooks a knuckle under my chin and raises my head until I look him in the eyes.

Demon shit, this is so much worse out loud than it was in my head.

“The mark can only heighten emotions and feelings, not create them. Nothing will become of you that isn’t already there.”

“That’s just it. I’m not sure there is anything of me left. I don’t know who I am anymore.”

I should explain more. I should admit that all my goals and plans I’ve had for years are suddenly gone. But I think he already understands that.

“It's true that you've changed since you’ve come back,” he says.

My hand immediately goes to the spot on my neck where he bit me. Alaric gently takes my hand and lowers it before my thoughts spin out of control.

He shakes his head. “I mean, you are… softer than before.”

I freeze. Worried that Alaric will reject me for not being stronger. “I have,” I agree. “I’ve become… weak…” I look down at my open palms. “I feel lost.” The admission comes out barely above a whisper.

“Do not mistake softness for weakness. You can be soft and strong.” He takes my hand and entwines our fingers, his thumb makes lazy circles on my wrist. “You had a fight to the death with a cursed vampire and won. Do not think for one second that you are weak, Clara. It takes great strength to allow your heart to be vulnerable.” He pauses for a long moment then adds, “You have also changed me.”

I have changed him? He is a vampire, eternally unchanging. He could be saying that to make me feel better. But something between us is shifting, though I don’t understand what.