Page 12 of The Valentine Skates
“Very well, thank you.” He took off his caped overcoat and hung it from a hook in Helena’s hallway. “I was the earliest into town with our bundles of flowers. And since the factors knew there were no other loads coming, they didn’t argue.”
“Congratulations.”
He smiled and gave her a small bow.
“Have you been in London all this while?” She gave him a tentative smile, hoping he hadn’t relieved his frustrations with her in the arms of another woman in the city.
“Yes, I have.” He paused for a moment and she couldn’t read the odd look in his eyes. “I spent a few days with your brother at Howick House.”
The remnants of her afternoon tea soured in her stomach. “Why? What could the two of you possibly have to discuss?” She tamped down the panic fluttering inside her ribcage like a cloud of butterflies.
He stared for a long moment before the smile lines crinkled at the edges of his eyes and mouth. “There is only one thing Howick and I agree on, and that is you.” His voice tensed for a short pause. “We both love you and want you to be happy.”
She did not like the direction this conversation had taken. Her hands turned icy, and she was afraid to speak. “You didn’t…you couldn’t…you didn’t tell him?” She averted her eyes from his, her heart beating a wild tattoo.
He closed his hands over hers so tightly, she couldn’t run from the room, or heaven forbid, ignore the piercing look in his dark eyes.
“Your secrets are yours to tell. I would never betray what happens between us.”
When she tried once more to tear away from his grip, he held her even more tightly. Still grasping her hands with one of his, he tipped her chin so that she had no choice but to fall into his gaze.
“You have to trust me, Lili. I would never hurt you.” He stared silently for a few more seconds. “Tell me you know you’re safe with me, all of you.”
She finally wrenched away from his hold and ran to a corner of the room, her face to the wall. “I could not bear my family knowing the truth.”
“You did nothing, you’re an innocent.” He didn’t move close again, giving her room to gather her emotions.
“You don’t understand.” Her voice had turned into an agonized, guttural version of herself.
“What, Lili?” He begged. “Tell me what unforgivable sin you’ve committed.”
“They…they did things to me, taught me things. I was tutored in all the ways a woman can pleasure a man. I was…I was taught to be a courtesan.”
Frederick stood in stunned silence. He was afraid to utter a single word. He knew the next thing he said might be his last in Lili’s presence if she pushed him away.
“I don’t know what happened to you during your captivity. The truth is, I don’t care. None of that matters to me.”
“But what happened in the Dey’s harem matters to me, Frederick. That will never change. I can’t forget the things they taught me. I can’t drive the horrible acts they did to my person from my mind.”
“We can start over, Lili. Howick and I have come up with a plan to help get you accepted back into society. That’s what I’ve come to explain.”
She left her refuge in the corner and moved back to his side, staring up into his eyes as if she’d never seen him before. “You haven’t heard anything I’ve said. Have you?” She shook her head and ran from the room before he could stop her.
Lili had left before dawn to walk to Wembledon before Emily awakened so that she could talk to her before Frederick came for his daily visit.
Tiber lay in the corner, his new loyalty clear. He’d chosen to forever guard the small girl he’d saved from the icy water of the River Wey. She smiled at the way he raised his head and gave her a nod before laying his chin back down on his forepaws to return to his vigil.
Lili turned at the sound of a small yawn coming from the bed. Emily was awake. “Lady Lili, why are you here so early?” The small girl stretched before pulling herself up into a sitting position. “Are we going to see Papa’s lambs?” she asked hopefully.
“Not today, little one. I wanted to tell you something before anyone else arrives.”
Frederick had chosen to walk through the wheat field between Weyford and Wembledon, breathing in the damp morning mists. His boots crunched on the stubbles of the recently scythed crop, and his gaze strayed to some townsfolk who were gathering the leavings his harvest workers hadn’t loaded onto wagons that week.
He looked away and pretended not to see, because he knew times were hard for the poor. The high prices he’d gotten that year for his crops meant well for his family, but with the Corn Laws, the poor were unable to obtain cheaper grains from abroad.
When he climbed the stile up to the roadway between his farm and the Howick estate, he pulled a soft object from inside his waistcoat where he’d stuffed it earlier before his tramp across the field. He’d found the fluffy stuffed form of a sheep at a toy stall in London before he’d retrieved Rowan from the coaching inn at the edge of the city. Shiny black button eyes stared back at him, expressionless from the depths of the snowy white yarn.
Emily would love the toy. She’d nearly worn out her bear, Mr. Withers, and Lili’s old velvet rabbit in endless pretend play in the bed where she’d been a virtual prisoner ever since her near-drowning the winter before.