Page 10 of The Valentine Skates

He bunched her skirt higher and lifted her in his arms. Lili wrapped her legs around him and hiccuped a sigh, grateful for one of the odd quirks of strict, tonnish fashion rules. Women who wore drawers were considered fast and loose, not to be trusted. Pure young women were not supposed to wear under clothing that covered their nether regions. The same rule had been enforced in the dey’s harem…but for totally different reasons.

When he adjusted his falls and entered her, his eyes widened at the barrier he encountered. She jerked her head away from his gaze. She couldn’t bear his look of shock mixed with pity. Now her humiliating secret was laid bare. After all the time she’d spent in the Dey’s harem, she was still a virgin. For all the speculation that had run rife in thetonafter her rescue four years earlier, she was not the lascivious, experienced harem temptress everyone had assumed. She was still the unloved, unwanted Lady Lili Howick.

Instead of censure or condemnation, he cradled Lili into his arms and sank to the ground with her. He pulled her head to his shoulder and comforted her as if she were Emily. Tears erupted into a river of saltwater down her cheeks. She sobbed like she hadn’t since the day her brother had died defending her. The day she’d been ripped away from the only life she’d known.

Frederick’s mind reeled. His body ached with need so intense, he wanted to lay Lili down right there in the dead leaves at the base of the old plane tree. He knew her need was as great as his, but he could also see acute, unwarranted shame in her hazy blue eyes now brimming with tears.

He had no idea how to love her at this moment, other than to let her accumulated years of grief spill out of her. Even though every instinct in his body screamed to make her his own, his internal compass counseled patience. She was like a feral, injured creature. Anything untoward might make her flee, and he’d lose her love forever.

“I-I’m so sorry,” she mumbled through her sobs.

He turned her in his lap to face him. “You have nothing to be sorry for, no regrets. You’ve done nothing wrong.” He pushed some escaping tendrils of hair out of her eyes and handed her his handkerchief. “You were an innocent who was taken against her will, wronged, and manipulated by pirates and thieves.”

“But no one else views what happened the way you do.”

“Why? Because they want to believe the London gossip sheets and titillating caricatures? Because they want to believe the worst of a beautiful woman?” He placed her carefully back onto her feet and stepped back, running a hand through his hair. “Marry me, Lili. I’ll talk to Howick. He’ll understand.” He helped wipe away the last of her tears. “I don’t care about the gossips. I’m a simple farmer. We can stay here in the country, away from London and theton’scensure.”

“No, no, no.” She pushed hard against his chest. “If I were your wife, even the small social circle in the village at Wembledon would shun Emily. I can’t have her unhappiness on my conscience as well as Jamie’s death.”

Frederick couldn’t argue with the stricken look on her face. He helped her straighten her clothes before they left the cover of the woods and returned to the towpath to retrieve Rowan and catch up to the lavender-laden barge.

She pulled her hood over her head and turned suddenly to face him. “I cannot be your wife, but you must marry again for Emily’s sake. If I can’t be your wife, Iwillbe your mistress.” In an abrupt move, she ran ahead toward Guildford without giving him a chance to challenge her words.

Chapter Six

July - The Dilemma

Frederick was so enragedat Lili’s words on the towpath just before she ran away, he could not calm the hammering in his chest. Now that he knew the truth of her ordeal as a captive in the Dey of Algiers’ harem, he wanted to confront the men who had subjected her to such humiliation and permanent destruction of her character. He wanted to pummel someone bloody.

She’d have to live the rest of her life with the label of “ruined woman,” although she was still as untouched as when he’d first laid eyes on her so many years ago. She remained as innocent as Emily, but no one would ever know, or believe the truth.

He’d been so knocked flat by Lili’s ethereal beauty when he first caught sight of her in Vicar Duncombe’s study on his first day of Latin classes that he’d nearly reached out to touch her white-blonde, cornsilk hair secured in a thick braid falling down her back.

Just the thought of her off-hand offer tossed over her shoulder as she ran away from him on the towpath still had the power to make him harden. She would not marry him, but shewouldbe his mistress. Even now he could still remember the feel of her heat when he entered her, followed closely by the shock and despair when he encountered a barrier.

God, what a tangle. He knew she was right about Emily. No matter how understanding some families might eventually be about the notorious harem girl who was somehow still a virgin, there would always be those, including Emily’s grandfather, who would never accept that she was respectable enough to be his wife, and Emily’s mother. Emily would suffer from the gossip and be ostracized. How he’d ever be able to arrange a suitable marriage for his beloved daughter in such a situation was beyond him.

He rode Rowan steadily on toward Guildford, behind his load of lavender and fumed at the injustice. There had to be a way. He had to figure out a way to make Lili his wife and still save Emily’s place in society. He finally sucked in a deep breath and determined the only way through the challenges they faced was to speak to her brother Howick as soon as possible. Maybe he’d travel on to London to try to get an audience with the marquess before he returned to Surrey from the current session in the House of Lords.

He wondered if Howick suspected the truth about his sister. Frederick certainly did not want to be the one to reveal all. Howick would kill him where he stood if he knew what he’d been up to with his fragile sister.

The dock at Guildford suddenly appeared ahead through the trees. He couldn’t believe how long he’d been thrashing all the ways to save Lili and Emily. Thank God he could deal quickly with his business there before heading on to London.

Lili opened the letter that was lying on Helena’s front hallway table and smiled at a carefully written message from Emily. The small girl complained about missing the lambing season with her father and lamented being kept inside while “everyone else” was out having fun in the spring sunshine. She’d included watercolor renderings of lambs jumping in grass. She must have sent the letter a day or so before, since she’d just left the little imp back at Wembledon Park earlier in the day, before Lili had walked back to Guildford along the towpath.

The minute the word, “towpath,” flashed through her mind, a flush spread from her cheeks down to her breasts. She could still feel Frederick’s hands on her, his cock against her thigh, and then… She sucked in a deep breath. She would not cry. What was done, was done. Now a kindred soul knew her secret. But he was the one man in the world she knew would keep her secret safe.

Her retired governess, Helena, peered through the parlor door. “Where have you been? I was worried at how long you’ve been gone.”

“I decided to walk back along the river so that I wouldn’t run into anyone from the village.”

“Oh.” The older woman said nothing more, but the pity in her eyes made Lili have a sudden urge to fling herself into her arms for a long cry. But, no, she would not, although the effort to hold back the tears made her head ache.

“Have you had tea yet?” Her old friend’s question was tentative.

Lili knew she was terrible at hiding her feelings. Helena could always see through her attempts to keep a brave face. She stifled the negative direction of her thoughts and forced herself to sit to tea with Helena.

“Did you see Frederick today?”