Page 56 of The Unbound Witch

This feeling I’d longed for, the love that pressed through the numbness within my soul encompassed me, putting a small piece of everything I’d lost back into place. And though I wondered how far she would let me go, this was all I needed from my golden witch. This was pure. A love that survived. Though I had not.

“I would die a thousand deaths to have one more real night with you.”

She pulled away from me, tilting her head. “This is real.”

An ache grew within me. “It was real.”

She moved to lie on the bed, looking up at me. “When I was nine years old, I snuck into Amelia Mooncatch’s store, determined to steal a pair of socks for my little sister because she’d always gotten everything passed down to her and nothing new. I couldn’t bear the holes in her toes that winter.”

“I remember this story.” I sighed. “You got caught before you could walk out of the store, but I was there delivering a tonic for Raven’s grandmother.”

“Before I could even try to make up a story, you ran and put every coin you had on the counter, took me by the arm and told Amelia I’d left the money and she must not have seen it because she’d been on the other side of her shop.”

I turned, staring down at Scoop. “That was nothing.”

The silence of her response was louder than anything she could have said. It grew so loud in the room, I had to turn back to her, just to be sure she was still there. Soft light filled the gaps of her hut, falling along the contours of her face as she stared away, lost in another memory.

“When I was thirteen, Michael Moonfrost shoved me into Gravana Lake on the deep side, near the bushes where the snakes nest. I didn’t have my spell to compel the animals yet, and I couldn’t swim well enough to make it to the other side. You jumped in fully clothed and helped me.” She paused, her eyes finding mine as the severity on her beautiful face softened. “You always jump for me, Kir. Every single time. You have the patience of a saint to give me all the time and space I needed to really see you. To recognize that my heart has and always will need you. And if you think for one second your death took any of that away from us, you’re sadly mistaken. If anything, it deepened every single thing that was ever between us. These memories have haunted me, lifted me, and crushed me over and over. I love you. I’ve loved you since I was a child. It wasnevernothing. You are everything.”

I settled down beside her, and as she turned, her stacks of golden bracelets slipped down her arm. We stared at each other, savoring the moment for as long as we could stand the silence.

“I do not deserve your faith in me, Nym.”

She huffed a laugh. “No. You deserve so much more. You don’t even know the things I wished for while you were gone. Every second I have with you is a blessing from the goddess.”

We lay in peace, side by side, sharing memories we had back and forth, getting lost in all that ever was between us and our relationship that spanned a lifetime. My lifetime.

“I can see the hurt in your eyes, Kir. What's wrong?”

I looked away, eyes catching the two cats curled up together across the small space, their breaths easy and slow. “If I hadn't already died, the envy would kill me. I cannot tell you what the void feels like. Missing you and your touch is indescribable. But the loss of my bond with Scoop is the greatest sorrow of my existence. He's right there and won't acknowledge me.”

“He just needs time. He'll figure it out.”

I shook my head. “It's not just that. I don't eat or sleep. I don't dream or feel. I can't smell or taste anything. I'm living an existence that is hollow.”

“You're living an existence that is different,” she said, pushing off the bed. “You haven't lost everything. We are here with you. Nothing else matters.”

“It's far more complicated than that, and I'm not sure what I'm allowed to tell you right now. You'll just have to trust me, though. Nothing is as easy as it seems.”

She twisted the golden bands up her arms and then moved to stand beside me. I lifted myself from the bed.

“Practice,” she demanded, her beautiful face fierce as she tugged on the strings at her waist. “Tie my skirt.”

“It's not the lack of ability, it's the lack of fulfillment.”

She lowered her chin, a familiar fire dancing in her eyes. “I know. Tie the skirt, Kir.”

I reached for the silky strands, my fingers passing through the first time. Unwilling to let her see me fail when she’d been so confident, I tried again. Halfway through the knot, I lost focus and dropped them. Frustrated, I turned away.

She moved in front of me once more. “If you can hold your lips to mine, if you can move your fingers up and down my arm, hardly missing a stroke, you can tie my skirt for me. Try again.”

“It's not the same.”

She crossed slender arms over her chest. “This negativity isn't going to get you anywhere. If you cast that out into the world, that’s what you’ll get back. If you need hard love, I'll deliver it on a silver platter. I will not let you spiral into the sad existence that consumes the other wraiths. You are Kirsi Moondance. You were a powerful witch, spirit blessed long before your death. I refuse to believe there is nothing in this world that can bring you happiness. Tie the fucking knot, Kir.”

It took me three seconds. Three seconds and her conviction and the task was done.

“Look at me,” she whispered.