Page 54 of The Unbound Witch

“Nym?” Raven ran for her, dodging the people in the busy street. “You're here. Oh! Thank the goddess.”

She didn't move, didn't respond at all.

“Nym?” Raven asked, looking over her shoulder.

“Is she... did I just see...”

Raven nodded slowly, but my world tilted as a ringing began in my ears. Pure embarrassment rattled through my ghostly form. She saw me, but I was not the same, and she didn't owe me a single thing. What witch could love a wraith? Whatever our future was, it was not together. I moved backward. Panic stroking my urge to flee. Only those beautiful green eyes held me.

“She's here. But she has changed.” Raven sounded as if she was speaking with a child on the brink of a meltdown. She could see it on Nym's face as clearly as I could.

Scoop padded forward, weaving between Raven's legs, a yowl coming from him as he rubbed against her. I knew that sound. He was sad. Missing me. Everything hurt. I knew this moment would come, but I wasn't prepared for the rush of emotions. Where everything up until this point had been rimmed in sadness, this was deeper. Devastating.

“Why can't I see her?” Another tear fell. “Is she hiding from me?”

“It's hard,” Raven whispered, taking her hand.

Pure green envy shot through me at that connection.

Nym shook her head. “No. It's not hard. Losing her was hard. I've cried every day. I've mourned with her familiar. It took me ages to get him to warm up to me after she’d gone. There were whispers she’d been seen at the castle, and I couldn't let myself believe them. Do you hear that, Kirsi Moondance? You may have died, but you're killing me.”

Guilt swirled through me as I watched that golden witch cry. But there was nothing within my sorrow that I could mask with dark humor and sarcasm. The men of our group had been wise to stay away, a small blessing as I let myself be seen, a memory of the person I used to be. Now transparent, glowing and haunted, I was not lovable. And so I stayed there in my shame as her eyes swept over my new form. She took a step forward, as if she could not control her feet. Somewhere in the background, a million miles away, Raven moved back. This was not her moment and, as my sister in all ways that mattered, I knew she only wished for my happiness. If only she knew this was my purgatory.

“I'm sorry,” I whispered, my eyes locked on the uneven bricks embedded into the road.I wanted to go back in time. Before it was too late.

Four tiny black paws appeared in my view. Scoop. I sank to the ground, reaching to stroke the softest part of his fur, right below his rounded ears. My hand passed through him, and he darted away, the shock of cold and death scaring him. I hadn't been concentrating enough to touch him. I hadn't been thinking at all, truly. But Nym's gasp as the cat ran away jolted me.

“I didn't mean to scare you.” I straightened, finally looking into her eyes.

“Scare me?” she asked, brows furrowed. “I'm not afraid of you. I've dreamed of this moment every night. You're here. And you don't even want to see me. This isn't fear. This is something different. This is... dejection.”

I reached for her cheek, focusing, though I was sure she'd turn away from me. She rested her tear-tracked face into my palm, and I thought I felt the warmth of her tears.

“I'm sorry,” I whispered, again.

She shook her head, taking a breath so deep her shoulders hiked and fell heavily. As if it were the first full breath she'd taken in a long time. “You weren't supposed to leave me.”

I pushed my forehead to hers. “I know. Believe me, I did not want to.”

“You're cold.”

I jerked myself away. “I know. I can't...”

“It's okay, Kir. I just didn't know. I didn't know what it would feel like.”

“Me neither,” I replied.

“Are you here for good, then?”

Something in that question gutted me. I knew she was hoping I would say yes, though every part of me wanted to say no. I didn't want to be. Even with her before me, this was still its own version of hell.

“Yes. I was swept away to the human lands with Raven and Grey, but now I'm back, and from what I've gathered, I'm not leaving.”

“I'm sorry.” She tucked a brown strand of hair behind her ear. “I can't imagine what you've been through. How different things must be.” She smiled that half smile that I loved, narrowing her eyes. “Why can you touch my cheek but not Scoop?”

“It's complicated. I have to really concentrate to be able to touch things. It's better now that I've been practicing.”

“Come with me?” she asked. “Just for a few moments.”