Page 13 of The Truth about the Lady (Whispers of the Ton #6)
CHAPTER TWELVE
H yacinth blinked. She could not quite believe what she was reading, her mouth going dry as she read the words. There were four riddles in The London Chronicle and she was quite certain she had only sent two in, just as she usually did.
Whatever was this?
“Have you seen it?”
Without warning, the door to Hyacinth’s drawing room flew open and Lady Eve hurried in, her eyes wide.
“You are reading it now, then? I knew at once that you had not written the other two, especially when I discerned the answers. They have a good deal less complexity than yours, have they not?”
Hyacinth, who had barely glanced at her friend, fixed her eyes to the first riddle again. “I haunt the present, a creation of choices made in the past. Nothing will unmake me, but with time, I may fade.” Lifting her gaze to Lady Eve, it took her only a moment to come to the answer. “Regret. This is speaking of regret.”
“And the other is an apology,” Lady Eve said, pointing to the next. “What am I, this bridge built solely of words spoken between you and I? A bridge that you might break, should you refuse to meet me there. Rope woven with sorrows binds each step, offered to you freely but with no assurance of acceptance.”
“Then he is sorry.” Hyacinth dropped The London Chronicle onto the chair beside her, surprised to feel heat behind her eyes. “He would not speak to me of the riddles, when we were in the park. Our conversation was brought to a very sharp end and then he stepped away, leaving me feeling quite confused.”
Lady Eve smiled gently. “He regrets what he has done then, yes? He is sorry for it, he wishes to apologize.”
Nodding slowly, Hyacinth looked down at the paper again but felt her heart twist with a sudden sharp pain. “And while I am grateful for that, it is not as though he has shown any true repentance.”
Her friend’s eyes searched hers.
“What he ought to be doing is to speak to the ton and to make it clear that he was not the one who wrote the riddles after all!” Hyacinth continued, wishing that she did not feel so much for Lord Thorne, to the point that it was becoming all twisted up inside her. “That would show a true repentance, would it not?”
“Yes, I suppose it would,” Lady Eve agreed, softly, “but you know as well as I that the gentleman is prideful.”
Hyacinth closed her eyes against a sudden rush of tears. “I understand that, I do, but I want him to show, to prove that he is willing to put that aside! I am grateful for his attempt at an apology and I truly do appreciate that he is willing to express regret, but that is done only in a way that makes sense to me. It is not public, it is not making amends in the right way.”
Lady Eve let out a small sigh. “Indeed. And it must be all the more trying when your heart holds an affection for him.”
Hyacinth threw her a look but could not deny it, the look on Lady Eve’s face one of sympathy rather than mockery. Much to her dismay, a single tear trickled down her cheek and though she dashed it away quickly, it was not quick enough for Lady Eve not to see it.
“Oh, my dear friend!” Lady Eve quickly took Hyacinth’s hand and pressed it. “I did not realize that you were so caught up with it all!”
“It is foolish, is it not?” Hyacinth sniffed, pulling out her handkerchief and dabbing at her eyes before any more tears could fall. “I should not have any feelings for him, given what I know, but the more time I spend in his company, the more desirous I am of it! I am meant to be speaking with him to push him into telling me the truth but I confess that it has been difficult for me to even remember to do so! I am aware of just how foolish I am in this, believe me, but I – ”
“I do not think you foolish!” Lady Eve squeezed Hyacinth’s hand again, her eyes searching Hyacinth’s face. “I have seen Lord Thorne’s kindness displayed to you, I have seen his consideration and the goodness within him, just as much as I have seen his pride. Truth be told, I am surprised at how much good I have seen in him, for when I first returned to London, I advised you to stay away from him! Now I have seen how much he seeks to defend you – not only you but other young ladies that Lord Sunderland pursues, for example. There is more to his nature than I ever realized and I would not judge you for feeling drawn to him. I can understand it, truly.”
Hyacinth nodded and sniffed but looked away, aware of just how torn her heart was.
“You must be feeling quite broken.”
“I am.” In answer to Lady Eve’s statement, Hyacinth looked back at her, aware of just how much she trembled inwardly. “How can it be that I am falling in love with the very gentleman who has been so deceitful? And just what am I to do?”
Her friend frowned and said nothing for a few moments. Thereafter, she nodded in a seeming decisive manner, then smiled. “You must be honest with him. You must tell him what you know and what you feel… though mayhap the other way around.”
Nothing but shock washed over Hyacinth as she stared back at Lady Eve, who only smiled. “I – I cannot do that.”
“You must.” It all seemed so very easy for Lady Eve, though Hyacinth shook her head in response. “How else are you to bring an end to this torment? How else are you to find a clear path to walk along? Either you tell him all or you continue in this strange darkness, where you are pulled in two directions. It can only be as simple as that.”
Instantly imagining what it was Lord Thorne would say when she told him, Hyacinth trembled visibly. “He will pull away from me.”
“And if he does?”
Hyacinth closed her eyes tightly, trying to fight against the fresh wave of tears that threatened.
“Then he was never worth of you,” Lady Eve murmured, ever so gently. “You must tell him the truth or garner the truth from him, Hyacinth. It is the only way.”
Opening her eyes and relieved that no more tears fell, Hyacinth nodded slowly, her heart still in a quandary. She could see the wisdom in what Lady Eve was saying but at the very same time, she wanted to do nothing of the sort, afraid of what would occur if she did.
But I cannot pretend forever, she told herself, her throat tightening. To continue in this way will bring me nothing but pain and confusion.
“Tonight,” she said, a little hoarsely. “I shall speak to him tonight, at the ball.”
Lady Eve nodded, relief in her expression. “Tonight.”
“ G ood evening, Lord Thorne.” Hyacinth forced a smile that she did not truly feel, aware of the tension that raked through her as he took her hand and bent over it. “How very pleasant to see you this evening.”
“And you.” Lord Thorne lifted his gaze to her and smiled. “I am hopeful that your dance card is not yet entirely full, Lady Hyacinth?”
“Full?”
Hyacinth closed her eyes briefly as Rose, who was standing near, let out a bright laugh that Hyacinth knew full well was meant to taste of mockery.
“I do not think that Hyacinth’s dance card has ever been full at any ball we have attended, Lord Thorne,” she continued, throwing Hyacinth a look that made her wither inwardly. “You need not have any fear there.”
Wishing that the floor would open up and swallow her so that she did not have to endure this mortification, Hyacinth did not know where to look, aware of the burning heat in her face. Rose had not spoken in such a way towards her for some time but something about Lord Thorne and his attentions towards Hyacinth was clearly upsetting her.
“Then I must make sure that is not the way of things this evening!” Lord Thorne moved a little closer, sidestepping Rose and instead, coming to stand a little closer to their mother who, up until the very moment he appeared beside her, had been in conversation with another young lady. Hyacinth watched on, thoroughly confused as Lord Thorne bowed to her mother.
“Lady Coatbridge, good evening.”
Hyacinth’s mother glanced at both of her daughters as Lord Thorne bowed. “Good evening, Lord Thorne.”
“I have been informed by Lady Rose that your daughter, Lady Hyacinth, has never had a full dance card at any ball,” Lord Thorne continued, throwing a quick smile towards Hyacinth, though it was Rose who turned a shade of scarlet such as Hyacinth had never seen. “I should very much like to make sure that she has every dance taken this evening, Lady Coatbridge. Might I be permitted to take her to meet some of my acquaintances? Gentlemen of excellent repute, I might add!” He turned and pointed over Hyacinth’s shoulder. “I shall only just be over there but I will make sure that her dance card is quite filled to the brim by the time we return!”
“Oh, Lord Thorne, how very kind of you.”
Hyacinth did not know what to say, hearing her mother continue to gush with delight over Lord Thorne’s generosity whilst she did not know whether to feel embarrassed or delighted. Rose hung her head, perhaps aware that her mother would soon speak sharply to her for what she had revealed to Lord Thorne. It was a very kind gesture from him, though at the very same time, she felt a little overwhelmed by his consideration.
Does it mean something more? she found herself wondering, a sudden flare of hope bursting through her. Could it be that what I feel is returned?
That hope died at the very next moment as she recalled all that she had determined to say to him. They were meant to be speaking of the riddles, meant to be telling him the truth about it all and trying to confess her heart at the same time and that meant there could be no certain hope, not when she could not be sure as to how he would respond!
“Come, Lady Hyacinth.”
Hyacinth blinked, tugged out of her thoughts as Lord Thorne offered her his arm, a warm smile on his face. “Lord Thorne?”
“We will have your dance card filled in a matter of moments,” he promised, “though I have taken the waltz and the quadrille. It is a little selfish, mayhap, to have the first choice but I was the first to come to speak with you!”
The flooding warmth which came from his words made Hyacinth’s heart soften all over again, chasing away her fears and her worries in a moment, only for them to rush over her again, as though it was one wave followed by another onto the crashing shore. “You are very kind, Lord Thorne. I did hope that we might be able to speak together, at some point this evening.”
“I should like that.” Lord Thorne gave her another smile, though Hyacinth did not feel any reassurance at it. “There are some things I should like to share with you, though it can be difficult to have a conversation at a ball!”
“I am attending Lord and Lady Markham’s soiree tomorrow evening,” Hyacinth replied, seeing a light dart into his eyes. “Mayhap there we might find time to speak together?”
He nodded. “That would be quite perfect, I think.”
Hyacinth smiled back at him, choosing, yet again, to push away her fears and instead allow them to fill up all of the spaces that would come with tomorrow’s conversation, though quite what he wanted to say, she did not know. This evening, it seemed, she was able to dance and laugh and smile and enjoy all that this ball had to offer her… and it was all because of what Lord Thorne had chosen to do for her and for her alone.