Page 37

Chapter 37

APRIL

I tried calling Gabe and talking sense into him, but it went straight to voicemail. I sent twelve texts, but he left them all unread. He’d made up his mind, decided he was dangerous—Gabe who took in strays and spent his career mending and encouraging. All because he’d hurt the man who’d hurt me.

A part of me thought he needed space—that he’d be fine if I allowed him time to process. So, I was patient . . . for maybe eighteen hours. By lunch, I made myself try to eat some leftover pasta. I had the first bite of cold ravioli halfway to my mouth when I remembered Gabe’s comment at the food truck park about me eating cold spaghetti.

And suddenly, I wasn’t in my living room but standing outside on a breezy evening while Gabe brushed sugar off my lips.

The fork clattered back onto the container, my lip trembling as I worked to hold back the emotion. I didn’t want the crying to start—afraid grief would swallow me whole like it had when Mom died.

“Screw this!” I said, tossing the container on the counter. I wouldn’t grieve him. He wasn’t dead. I hadn’t lost him indefinitely. He was hurt—stuck in his past, afraid it would dictate his future, but he didn’t have to navigate it alone. Once the decision was made, it was a fight to walk to my Subaru instead of run.

Then I was at his apartment. Knocking and knocking and knocking. Chuck’s muffled barks sounded on the other side of the door, but they quieted down to whining when I started talking.

“Come on, Gabe!” I pounded. “I know you’re in there! I saw your truck in the parking lot. I need to talk to you!”

Desperation made my heart feel like it was in the claws of a hawk. “Please! You don’t have to do this!” Frantic tears made hot paths down my cheeks. “You just made a mistake! You’d never hurt me. Do you hear me?” I yelled. “You’d never hurt me!” I rested my forehead against the door. “You deserve love.” Big sobs shook my body, so heavy they made my knees weak. I didn’t stop until a door down the hall opened. I might not have cared if the elderly woman didn’t look so frightened by me.

“Sorry,” I said and worked to wipe my face clean from the tears because I realized I was the very picture of a hysterical ex-girlfriend.

Then I sobered completely.

I wasn’t just the picture of one. That’s what I was.

He told me from the beginning he didn’t do casual. I fell for him anyway. Now he’d ghosted me, and I was banging on his apartment door. Who knew if he was even there? He could have been out on a ride or a run. I could have been yelling at an apartment with only Chuck inside.

I wiped my eyes once more, sniffling loudly as I tried to fix my face. “Sorry,” I mumbled again to the lady down the hall before walking away.

Despite everyone’s warnings, I’d fallen in love. Now, I had to live with the consequences.