Page 57 of The Trade Deadline
Abigail Cunningham, The Baltimore Sun
LARS NILSSON HAS AN impressive resume. Not only is he a two-time Stanley Cup Champion, but he’s a gold medal winner for Team Sweden in both the World Junior Championship and IIHF Championship. Since entering the league, he’s won the Rocket Richard Trophy, the Conn Smythe, the Art Ross, and the Calder. A new and surprising addition to the list: he’s one of three openly gay players in the NHL.
I’m sure many fans remember the last matchup between the Baltimore Blue Crabs and the Portland Prowlers, when Nilsson very loudly and publicly addressed some of his reasons for leaving the Prowlers and his frustration with his treatment since doing so. He’s not spoken about that memorable outburst with the media since then, but this week I got a chance to sit down with him and discuss his eventful playoff run, as well as how he sees his role in the league changing.
Abigail Cunningham: Thanks for speaking with me today.
Lars Nilsson: Of course. Thanks for giving me an opportunity to address some of the questions and intrigue about me this season.
AC: That’s certainly a way to put it! Let’s start with some easier questions. How do you feel about the Crabs’ playoff run?
LN: It’s…bittersweet. We were very happy as a team to make the playoffs and get a chance to show what we can do. We did that against Florida in Round One. We competed, we won, and it’s a message to the league that the Crabs are contenders.
AC: And then Round Two happened.
LN: Yes. Obviously not the outcome we wanted. I know we should look at the successes and not where we fell short, but it always hurts to get kicked out. No one goes into the playoffs thinking, “It’ll be fine to lose.” You get there, you trust the guys that are there with you, and you hope you can do it.
AC: How was it having to play against your brother? Fans know you two have a rather tumultuous relationship on the ice.
LN: We have had a difficult relationship, my brother and I. I won’t speak for him, but I know for me it’s because of our parents dying when we were young and the big age gap between us. Our fighting on the ice is mostly my fault, though I’m sure Anders will agree he has his own frustrations with me that have nothing to do with hockey. Hockey is where we can settle it, and this season I let it get out of hand.
AC: There were surprisingly few hits between you and your brother during the playoffs. Lots of hits overall in the series, and a lot of them were from Anders, but you didn’t seem to go after him as much as you have in the past. Any particular reason?
LN: We’ve cleared the air a little. But again, I’m too rough in the regular season against Anders. I know people think the playoffs should be more intense, and to them that means more physical. I’m not afraid to be physical, but I needed to be more focused. Wasting time in the penalty box because I’m annoyed at my brother isn’t focused.
AC: I hope he didn’t rub it in too much that they won.
LN: Anders is quieter than me. He didn’t have to say much for me to understand that he was gloating.
AC: If you had won the series?
LN: I think I would’ve hired one of those airplanes that pulls a sign across the sky, saying something like “Lars is better than Anders!” You know, something low-key.
AC: How do you think the future of the Blue Crabs is looking? One playoff appearance after six years has gotten a lot of fans excited. Are you going to be able to build off that momentum next year?
LN: We’ll try. It’s definitely moving in the right direction, and I know there are a lot of younger players on the AHL team who show a lot of promise and will be making their way into the lineup. Now that we’ve set the precedent that we can make it and that we can be competitive, I expect we’ll continue to do that.
AC: That’s great to hear! I know as a Crabs fan I was ecstatic to see you guys clinch that Wildcard spot, and not just because I’m one of the lucky ones who gets to cover it. Baltimore has been hurting for teams to see the postseason lately. How did it feel clinching out that series versus the Pythons at home?
LN: It was amazing. The crowd was so loud and there were a lot of rubber crabs on the ice. You can tell the city has great fans who are hoping to support an equally great team. We’ll do our best to live up to that.
AC: So there’s no easy way to broach this subject, but of course I want to ask you about the Prowlers.
LN: What would you like to know?
AC: The Prowlers seemed to be gunning for you when the team traveled to Portland, and that seemed to carry over into the game in March. Why was that?
LN: My former teammates, they were upset with the way I left. It was very abrupt, my departure. No warning. And it was upsetting to me, so I didn’t do a good job of explaining things or saying goodbye. From their perspective, I was one of their better players and asked to be traded clear across the country for no reason.
AC: But there obviously was a reason. When you were mic’d up, you seemed to imply that your sexuality had something to do with the trade.
LN: It had everything to do with it. I got them two Stanley Cups. I represented them at the All Star Games. I led the league in goals or points, got all these trophies. I sold seats in that arena and jerseys. Yes, I had a great team to help do these things, but I put in a lot of work. I’m a good player. Sorry, that sounds like I’m bragging, but I am good. Everyone knows I’m good. And as soon as they find out I’m gay, they decide that’s more important.
AC: Was the choice to leave yours?
LN: Yes and no. I never wanted to leave Portland. That was never my plan. But Mackey, the GM, he told me that I could either go or things would be “very uncomfortable” for me. I’ve seen what that means for players they don’t like. Not just at the Prowlers, but other places. And it’s not always about sexuality, they get it in their heads they don’t like someone, they take their minutes, they put them on bad lines, they make it impossible for them to be successful. I don’t want to be on a team that doesn’t support me, and I can’t be on a team where they know I’m gay and think that has anything to do with hockey. So I agreed to leave. Sign away my no-trade clause and trust my agent to find me a good spot. And he did.
AC: Since your incident with Zigmund went viral, there have been a lot of eyes on the Prowlers. Portland as a city hasn’t been happy and the fans have demanded Mackey’s resignation. The owners are investigating allegations of discrimination and have promised to take action. How do you feel about that?
LN: It’s not my business. I don’t like him, and maybe I’m glad the fans appreciate me or want their team to represent their values or whatever it is, but that’s their mess. I’m happy where I am in Baltimore, and I know the organization supports me.
AC: You’ve mentioned that it was Portland’s General Manager Mackey that asked you to leave. Is this type of discrimination prevalent in the organization as a whole?
LN: Honestly, I don’t know. I had always kept it to myself to avoid having to find out. My coach knew and told Mackey, and it was Mackey’s decision to force me out. I don’t know how it is with other teams.
AC: How have your former teammates responded? Have any reached out?
LN: Some have, yes. They didn’t know the details. Obviously Mackey wouldn’t want to broadcast that, and as I said, I didn’t tell them why I’d left. I wasn’t happy with how they treated me after I moved, but I think we understand each other now. My teammates weren’t the reason I wasn’t out, though.
AC: Why weren’t you out, if you don’t mind my asking?
LN: It never seemed relevant. People don’t ask the other players if they’re straight and how being straight has affected their playing, and it’s unfair that they think those are reasonable things to ask me. Except it did affect me because I had to hide it. It didn’t make me a worse player or anything, but it meant I could never really be myself. It’s hard to always have to hold a piece of yourself back when you’re on a team. You spend most of your day with each other for months and months on end, and it can be tiring to have to police yourself ‘just in case.’ I keep more to myself when I go out with the guys, don’t flirt so openly, don’t bring dates to the hotel.
AC: But you said a moment ago that your teammates weren’t the reason you weren’t open about your sexuality.
LN: It’s rare to find someone who is openly and actively bigoted. For most teammates I’ve had in the NHL, I’ve rarely gotten the impression they were bad guys. But it doesn’t take much. One person said something to Mackey, and I’m off the team.
AC: You were very quiet with the media after the incident. Why was that?
LN: I didn’t plan to out myself on national television. It was a momentary lapse, and I wasn’t ready to deal with it publicly. We were trying to make the playoffs, then we were in the playoffs. I wanted to focus on hockey. That’s my job, right? You get one chance every year to win the Stanley Cup, and I didn’t want any distractions. I’m very thankful to the Baltimore Crabs as an organization for supporting me in my decision to play hockey first and deal with my big stupid mouth second.
AC: Would you mind addressing why you’ve chosen to talk about it with me now?
LN: I see other players who are gay get treated badly. Not just in the NHL, but the other leagues, too. It was hard for me to have to change teams, but I know my notoriety in the league protected me. The Prowlers couldn’t sweep me under the rug, so I was able to find a way out and luckily landed with a team who doesn’t care about a person’s sexuality.
But then I think, that doesn’t help those other players in similar situations. The ones who feel they can’t or shouldn’t be open, because they don’t have that protection. So maybe I should talk about it because they can’t. Maybe I should help push the league to be better than they currently are, so that those players can choose to be openly gay or bi or pan, if they want to be, without fear that they’ll never get to play professional hockey again.
It’s not fair, and I need to start saying it loudly for those who can’t say it at all.
AC: Thank you so much for your time today, Lars, and for your honesty.
LN: Thank you for listening.
AC: Can I ask one last question before I let you go?
LN: Should I be scared? You ask a lot of good questions.
AC: You’re officially on summer break…any big plans?
LN: I will be in Ohio with my family for the next few weeks, then I’ll be in Baltimore to help with a local youth program. And of course I’ll doing off-season training. I eat too many sweets, I can’t take the whole summer off. No golfing, though. I’m terrible at it.
AC: Thank you again. Enjoy your summer!