Page 41 of The Summer We Kept Secrets (The Destin Diaries #4)

“Oh, please.” Tessa gave her hand a flippant wave as if this news didn’t affect her a bit. “He’s had his soulmate, Lorna, and no one gets two.”

Lorna made a face. “I promised Kelly I’d help him,” she said softly. “She wanted him to find love, but he’s not ready.”

“I know,” Tessa said. “And I’m not ready for a kitchen that needs this much work, so this is a miss for me. But thanks so much, Lorna. We’ll keep looking.”

For a house…and a forever man.

They said a warm goodbye and then she and Kate headed out, not speaking until they were back in the car. Tessa slid into the driver’s seat, hands gripping the wheel, but didn’t start the engine.

“Guess that’s that,” she said. “Another one bites the dust and all.”

Kate reached across the console and took her hand.

“I’m so damn tired of doing life alone,” Tessa admitted, tears threatening to wreck her mascara. “For once, I wanted something more. I thought he might be it.”

Kate leaned over and wrapped her arms around her. Tessa let herself fall into the hug, pressing her face against Kate’s shoulder like she had when they were little girls and the world felt scary.

“I’m going to end it tonight,” she whispered. “I deserve better than being somebody’s ‘good time.’ And he should have told me he was looking in Vermont.”

“Yes, he should have.” Kate kissed her temple. “And, yes, Tessa Wylie, you deserve everything and more.”

They sat in silence for a while before Tessa turned to her. “Can I give you some advice, Kate? Not that I’m a relationship expert, but I love you and I know you and I’ve watched you with Eli.”

Kate grimaced. “You’re going to tell me to work it out.”

“Yes,” Tessa said. “Don’t let him go because he has some beliefs that don’t align with yours. You two have something real. Don’t let fear ruin it.”

Kate closed her eyes.

“I mean it,” Tessa said, driving home her point.

“His faith and your lack of it is not an insurmountable problem. He’s not running away, he’s not afraid of the future, and he’s not saying one thing and…

moving to Vermont. He’s a good, good man who we’ve known our entire lives.

Please give him a chance. You deserve everything, too.

And I think Eli Lawson is ready to offer it. ”

Kate just looked at her, then nodded. “That’s good advice, Tess. Thank you.”

But would she take it? Tessa didn’t know, but she hoped so.

The sun was just dipping behind the tree line when Tessa pulled into Dusty’s driveway late that afternoon.

She sat in her car, hands still on the wheel, taking in the comfort and arches off the porch he’d rebuilt himself, phrases from Vivien’s old diary entry she’d read last night floating through her head.

She’s the girl everyone looks at, but maybe no one really sees.

Maybe she had been that girl for fifty years, but that could change. Now. Tonight.

She climbed out slowly, the pavers warm through thin sandals, and walked toward the house with the weight of everything she hadn’t said yet pressing on her chest. From an open window, she heard the faint strains of something old and acoustic that made her heart ache.

He opened the door a second after she knocked.

“Tessa,” he said, surprised, stepping back. “Hey.”

He looked like he’d showered after a long day—hair damp, a clean T-shirt clinging to his chest.

“Can I come in?” she asked. “You’re not in the middle of a session?”

“No, I’m free. Come in.” He stepped back to let her in, quiet as she entered the house. She’d been here several times, and it was starting to feel somewhat familiar and comfortable.

But his expression was anything but comfortable. He watched her warily, quietly, then gestured toward the kitchen.

“Too late for coffee, too early for wine. What can I get you?”

“Nothing,” she said. “I need to talk to you.”

“Oh.” He exhaled softly. “The dreaded words.”

She smiled but didn’t elaborate, walking to the counter to take the same stool at the island where they’d had their first conversation.

“I saw Lorna today,” she said as he sat next to her. “She showed me a house.”

Dusty nodded slowly. “Yeah. She told me you were going.”

“She said you have an offer. And that you’re going to Vermont.”

“Thinking about it and…” He winced. “I should have told you that myself.”

“You think?”

He looked away, quiet and clearly embarrassed.

“When were you going to tell me?”

Stabbing his fingers into his silver-streaked hair, he pulled it back with a huff. “It’s not quite that…black and white.”

She waited for him to elaborate.

“I’m not sure I’m going, but” — he looked up at her — “you scare me, you know that?”

Drawing back, she let out a soft laugh. “I wasn’t expecting that.”

“I wasn’t expecting you ,” he retorted. “What I planned was a nice, quiet life of being a widower and therapist. I was going to live in dreamy isolation with no one ever caring where I was or wasn’t. Absolute monk-like solitude that would allow all the pain of the past to finally go away.”

She had no idea how to respond to that.

“And along comes Tessa Wylie,” he continued with a wry smile.

“And she’s just as bright and beautiful and wild and wonderful as she was thirty years ago.

Only now she’s lived and she’s smart and she’s got a good heart and she drives a boat and makes me laugh and has interesting opinions.

She makes me… feel things I never wanted to feel again. ”

“Oh.” The single syllable slipped out.

“So I’m running,” he finished.

“Why?”

Dusty exhaled, shaking his head. “Because I never, ever, ever want to love and lose again. I never want to know that pain—hell, I’m still feeling it. I never want to go unprotected into life and have my heart and soul crushed and chewed up and spit out.”

She stared at him, a thousand responses vying for their shot.

I would never do that! It is better to have loved and lost. Please give us a chance. All we have to fear is fear itself.

All of them, every single cliché, sounded utterly hollow in her head.

So she just spoke the truth.

“Well, I do,” she said softly. “I want to feel the kind of love that turns your world upside down and brings tears to your eyes just thinking about it. I want my one and only, Dusty. And, you know what? I would take one day of that kind of love because I’ve never felt it.”

He seemed to inch back at the power of her words, staring at her in stunned silence.

“So, I’m here to say goodbye,” she finished.

“Really?”

“Well, what else would we say when you take off for Vermont? And, don’t worry, you’re not responsible for me. You never led me on or made promises you didn’t keep. We’re good.”

“Oh, Tessa.” He dropped his head with a grunt. “I’m just not ready for what you want yet.”

She lifted a shoulder, undaunted, because she was ready. “But why run away to Vermont?”

“Because it’s far from you.”

She flinched. “Ouch.”

“I meant that as a compliment.”

“I’ve heard better,” she cracked.

“Listen, Tess. This scares me. You scare me. Love scares me. And the kind I see with you…” He shook his head. “No, sorry. I can’t take that chance again.”

The words twisted her chest. She wasn’t worth a risk, even the risk of real love.

“I should go,” she said quietly.

He moved then, stepping forward. “Tessa—wait.” He reached for her and drew her closer, touching her cheek with the gentlest brush of his fingers. “I thought you were just fun and then I found out you were…so much more.”

The words were barely out before he leaned in and kissed her—slow, full of regret, and everything he couldn’t say. She kissed him back, because it might be the last time, and she wanted to remember exactly how a kiss like this felt.

When they parted, she stepped back, taking an unsteady breath. “Bye.”

“Bye, Tess.”

She turned and walked out the door, waiting until she was halfway out of his neighborhood before the first sob escaped.

And once it did, there was no stopping it. She cried like she hadn’t in years. For what was, what could’ve been, and what Dusty wasn’t brave enough to try.

Guess what, Vivien ? Girls like Tessa do cry. A lot.