Page 38 of The Summer We Kept Secrets (The Destin Diaries #4)

“How far along are you?” Dad asked, searching her face as if he hadn’t really looked at her closely enough.

“I think I’m technically seven weeks, and no, I haven’t done anything but frantically take four, okay, five tests and make a doctor’s appointment. I came here because I didn’t know what else to do. I wanted to tell you in person, and I wasn’t sure if I should keep the baby?—”

“What?” For the first time, her father looked truly stricken.

“Adoption,” she said quickly. “I know I have choices and, you know, Lacey told me how great Roman’s life has been, so I?—”

“You can do whatever you want,” Dad said. “But I, for one, would love another baby in this family.”

“Mom, too.” Jonah tapped the Bible. “I mean, she all but flew in here on a cloud to help you out tonight.”

Meredith gave a mirthless laugh, her shoulders dropping as weight fell off them. “I know, right? Score one for Melissa Lawson.”

“Score two for Melissa Lawson,” Dad said, looking from one to the other. “The two greatest kids a man could have.”

“Oh.” Meredith bit her lip and looked at Jonah, whose eyes glistened with tears.

“I wouldn’t go that far, old man,” Jonah said on a tight laugh. “But if we’re decent, don’t give away all the credit. I know a little bit about being a father now, and, whoa. You’ve done a good job in the face of tough circumstances.”

Meredith let out a breath she might have been holding for this whole conversation, leaning into her father, knowing every word Jonah said was true.

“Dad. I’m so sorry,” she moaned out the apology. “I am ashamed and angry at myself and so broken to think I’ve disappointed you. I love you so much and I respect you and I know you have such strong faith—in me and in God. I’ve let you down.”

He cupped his hands on her cheeks, looking into her eyes. “You, my dear daughter, are forgiven. All we have to do now is be a family. A growing one.”

Tears burned again as her knees nearly buckled from the love she absolutely did not deserve, but he gave so freely.

“I love you, Meredith,” he said, his voice breaking. “Nothing— nothing —you could do would change that.”

“I don’t think I’m ready to be forgiven,” she said gruffly.

“You already are,” he said. “That’s how grace works. You don’t have to earn it. You just have to receive it.”

She let out a whimper. “I hope I can be half the parent you are, Dad.”

“Same,” Jonah chimed in.

Her father smiled and leaned back, waving Jonah and the sleeping baby closer. “Come here, everybody. Come to me.”

As Jonah came around the island, Meredith pointed at the baby. “Did you properly burp him?” she asked.

“Maybe not as properly as you would,” he joked. “But does he look gassy? Kid’s in dreamland.” Holding Atlas confidently with one arm, he put the other around Meredith. Dad wrapped both of them in a hug, forming a circle.

A beautiful, forgiving, loving Lawson circle.

They stood that way for a long, quiet moment, the room soundless until Dad let out a sigh and Meredith knew exactly what was coming next. And she never needed it more.

“Heavenly Father,” he whispered. “We are humbled by your blessings. We thank you for this family, and for the love we have. We thank you for Melissa, and we know she’s with you this very moment, basking in your glory.

Tell her she showed up tonight and helped make us whole again.

We remember her, every day, as a beautiful mother who raised exceptional children, and still has her hand on us, even though she isn’t here. ”

Jonah sniffed and Meredith felt a tear meander down her cheek.

“Father,” he continued. “Please bless baby Atlas and the precious new life you have just planted in Meredith’s womb.

Grow them into healthy, strong, kind, and loving children who honor you with their lives.

Protect Meredith as she starts this journey into motherhood and help us all as we embrace this new life and change.

We love you, Father, and ask all of this in the name of your son, Jesus. ”

For a moment, no one spoke, but they stood in perfect silence, holding the beauty of Dad’s prayer in their hearts.

Then Atlas belched like a truck driver and all they could do was laugh.

“I told you to burp him properly!” Meredith said, poking Jonah’s arm.

“I don’t think it gets any more proper than that,” Jonah said on a laugh, shifting the baby in his arms. “Also, that’s usually a precursor to a loaded diaper, so I’m going to take him downstairs, change him, and my prayer? When he cries in three hours, send in the cavalry to help me.”

“Done and done.” Meredith gave him another hug and kissed Atlas’s head, sighing as they disappeared down the stairs, Jonah singing a mangled version of You Are My Sunshine .

Turning to Dad, she reached out her hand. “I don’t know what to say. You’re amazing.”

He just smiled. “Don’t beat yourself up, honey. You’re not the first smart person to make a dumb mistake. When’s that doctor’s appointment?”

“It’s two weeks from now, here in Destin.” She lifted her brows. “Would you come with me?”

“I’d love to go with you,” he said.

“Oh, Dad.” She threw her arms around him, still not able to comprehend that all her stress was for nothing with him. “Can I ask one more favor?”

“Anything,” he said with a confidence that only he possessed.

“Can we keep this a secret between us for now? I don’t want Aunt Vivien or Grandma Maggie to know yet.”

“They won’t judge you, Meredith.”

She gave him a “get real” look and he laughed.

“Okay, my mother will judge. But she’ll get over it. Everyone will be excited.”

She nodded. “But please, at least let me get a due date and closer to the three-month point. Don’t tell Kate,” she added, knowing she had to be specific. “Please?”

Eli hesitated, then nodded. “Okay.”

They both stood in the stillness for a few seconds, then her father turned off the lights. They walked upstairs together, and Meredith stood in the hallway outside her room, hand on the door.

“Goodnight, Dad,” she said, her voice quiet but full. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, Mer. Sleep well.”

“I will…now. Thank you.” She stepped into her room, pulled the covers back, and slid into bed. And for the first time in weeks, she didn’t feel alone.

And since her own mother had prayed for this baby, Meredith had a pretty good feeling she’d be having a girl. Maybe she’d name her Melissa. And they’d call her Missy. Mom always said she loved that nickname.

“Oh, Mommy. Mommy, Mommy, Mommy ,” she whispered, fresh tears forming as she smashed her face into the pillow. “I miss you so much.”

Even though it hurt, she went to sleep with hope in her heart.