Page 12 of The Summer that Ruined Everything

He paused while slicing up his wedge salad and looked at her. She was smiling, an affectionate smile, her eyes shining in the setting sunlight. She leaned towards him and kissed his cheek.

The glance he shot at Jack was instinct. The look on Jack’s face was devastating, and was gone in an instant.

“Calloway will take over one day.” Theodore raised his voice slightly, commanding the attention of the table.

Cal was suddenly on high alert. He could hear the alcohol crackling around the edges of his father’s tone, and that usually meant —

“If he proves himself, of course,” Theodore said. He set his water glass on the table with a bang. “He’s been taking his time in doing so, but I think he’s a late bloomer. Isn’t that right, son?”

“I hope so, sir,” Cal mumbled.

Theodore peered at him a moment, and then Judith asked if anyone needed more champagne, and the conversation moved on to something else.

Cal relaxed — at least as much as he could with Katherine touching him constantly, and Jack watching from his place across the table beside Theodore — and tried to concentrate on Katherine’s quiet chatter.

It wasn’t until the dishes with the remnants of Steak Diane and roasted potatoes were cleared, and the chef had brought out plates of individual strawberry shortcakes, that Theodore fastened on Cal again.

“Every so often I catch a glimpse of something that tells me he’s got the Buchanan business intuition. But other times, I wonder how much is a facade.” Theodore narrowed his eyes at Cal, who went still.

“A facade?” Joe asked.

“Feigned interest,” Theodore said. “You’d think he’d be grateful for the opportunities he was born into, but there are times I get the sense he looks at the legacy I’m providing as a burden instead of a gift.”

“No, sir. That’s not true,” Cal said, even though it was. “I apologize if it seems that way.”

“I’ve built all of this for you,” Theodore said. “You can walk in and pick up the mantle and make me proud, or you can sulk around like a?—“

“Would you just shut up?”

Heads whipped to Jack, who set down his fork with a clatter.

“Excuse me?” Theodore said.

“You’ve been picking on him all day. All day. It’s tired. Move on.” Jack’s jaw set, his eyes glittering.

Cal’s heart sped up. Out of fear or desire, he wasn’t sure.

“He’s my son, and it’s none of your business,” Theodore snapped, getting to his feet.

“You’re making it all of our business by talking about it,” Jack said, rising beside him.

“If he acted more like a Buchanan, I wouldn’t have to. Instead, he larks about like a —“

Jack’s fist flew through the air and landed squarely on Theodore’s right cheek. His head snapped back, and he stumbled. Judith let out a shrill yell.

J.C. jumped up and wrapped her arms around Jack’s waist, pulling him backwards. Cal dashed around the table to check on his father, who’d crashed against the railing and was holding his hand to his face. His eyes were unfocused, and he was cursing under his breath.

Cal caught J.C.’s eye and gestured with his head towards the main cabin. She nodded and steered Jack to the doors. He didn’t put up a fight, instead seeming to slump inward as she pulled him out of sight.

“Are you all right?” Cal asked his father.

“He punched me,” Theodore said. There was less anger and more awe in his tone. “The little punk punched me.”

“Well, Theodore, you were being a bit of an ass.” Richard Senior approached and peered at Theodore’s face. “He got you good, but he just caught your cheek. I don’t think you’ll get a black eye.”

“I can’t believe that just happened,” Judith said, crowding in to get her own look at the damage. “Of all the things, and we were having such a nice time. I should call the police.“

Cal’s stomach seized. No.

But Joe Thornton spoke up. “That’s probably not necessary. It’s not a party until there’s one good fistfight, right Theodore? Just like the good old days.”

“Here, sit back down,” Katherine helped Theodore back to the table and into his seat. She pushed his water glass towards him. “Drink some water.”

Deciding things were momentarily under control, Cal slipped away, descending to the main cabin. He found Jack and J.C. there, sitting in the corner. Jack’s head was in his hands, and J.C. rested her palm on his back.

“Hey,” he said, crossing the room and sitting on Jack’s other side.

Jack looked up, his eyes a storm of uncertainty and worry. “I’m so sorry,” he mumbled. “I fucked that up. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“Yeah, what was that?” Cal asked quietly. He took Jack’s right hand in his, examined his knuckles, which were reddened and beginning to bruise. “You okay?”

Jack blinked rapidly, shaking his head. “I was just so angry. He wouldn’t stop picking on you. And nothing he was saying was true, and I couldn’t stand listening to it anymore, or the way it was making you look. I was already on edge from...you know...and I guess I just snapped. Fuck.”

Cal brushed his thumb across Jack’s knuckles, and Jack hissed. Then he brought Jack’s hand up to his lips and kissed his knuckles gently, one by one.

Jack had punched his father. Because Theodore was picking on Cal. It wasn’t anything Cal couldn’t handle — that he hadn’t been handling his whole life — but for someone else to care enough to get angry...Cal couldn’t quite digest it.

He looked up, straight into Jack’s eyes, which were large and dark and shining. “Thank you for doing that,” he said. “For me.”

“You’re welcome,” Jack said, his voice a little breathy. “But now what? They’ll never let you associate with me again.”

“We’ll work it out,” Cal said. “I promise.”

They stared at each other for a long moment. Then there was a clatter on the stairs from the upper deck, and the door swung open. Jack snatched his hand back and Cal slid a few inches away as Katherine entered.

“Good, there you are,” she said. “I think it’s probably best if we leave, take you guys home. Everyone else is going to stay and watch the fireworks.”

“You want to miss the fireworks?” Cal asked, surprised.

“We can see them from your house just as well,” Katherine said. “Let’s get Jack and J.C. home and let your parents cool off for a while.”

“Are they furious?” Jack asked. “Should I apologize?”

“Maybe tomorrow?” Katherine said. “It’s actually not as bad as you might think. My dad has Theodore convinced that you’re just like they were in college, and that a little rough and tumble is an admirable trait.” She smirked. “He also said that if you hadn’t done it, he might have, because Theodore was running his mouth and making everyone uncomfortable.”

“I might love your dad,” Jack said, clearly stunned.

“What about my mother?” Cal asked. “Does she still want to call the police?”

“Oh, fuck,” Jack said. “My agent is really gonna kill me.”

“No police,” Katherine said. “Sally and I talked her out of it. I think it’ll end up okay. But we should leave now, give them some space. My dad and Sally are going to keep smoothing things over.”

“Thanks,” Jack said, rising from his seat. “Really, thank you.”

“No sweat,” Katherine said.

They disembarked and made their way back to Cal’s car in silence. J.C. and Katherine climbed in back, and Cal and Jack in front, and they drove to Jack’s house in more silence. Cal watched Jack out of the corner of his eye, and he seemed to draw further in on himself the closer they got to home.

When they arrived, Jack glanced at Cal, muttered “goodnight,” and bolted for the house. Cal watched him go, feeling helpless. J.C. climbed out of the back, shrugged, and ran after him.

Katherine took Jack’s place beside Cal and sighed. “He’ll be okay,” she said. “Let’s go home. Fireworks will be starting soon.”

She was right. It was fully dark, almost time for the celebrations. He drove them around to his place, wishing he was feeling more like celebrating, and they crossed through the house and out to the back deck.

“We’ll be able to see better from the beach, I think,” she said. She grabbed a blanket off the outside sofa and held out a hand. “Walk with me.”

He placed his hand in hers and let her lead him off the deck, across the lawn, and down the steps to the sand. She picked out a spot, and they spread the blanket out and settled onto it.

They sat in silence for a while, not touching. She stretched her legs out, kicked off her sandals, and stuck her toes in the sand while he drew a knee up to his chest and rested his chin on it. The waves were gentle, making a soft whoosh-slap against the shore. The moon was a few days past full, floating in the sky like a pale yellow bowling ball.

Cal was trying to find the face in the craters when Katherine spoke.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

He shrugged. “I’m not sure. If you want me to be honest.”

“I always do,” she said softly. “Even when it’s hard. You know you can be honest with me, right? About whatever. We’ve been friends for long enough that I hope you realize that.”

“I do,” he said, but something in her tone made him pause. “Is there...do you think I’m not? About something specific?”

It was her turn to shrug. “Maybe.”

He tried to think what she could be talking about. Unless she knew that Judith was giving him his grandmother’s ring, and that she had wanted him to propose. He didn’t want to bring it up, because he didn’t want to get her hopes up by talking about marriage when he wasn’t sure what he wanted and wasn’t in a state of mind to figure it out.

“Cal…”

Cal looked up, momentarily distracted by her use of his nickname, something she hadn’t done since they were kids. She was wearing a wry, sad smile, and sighed.

“I know.”

“You…” Cal’s breath caught. So she did know about the ring? Or...he decided to be cautious. “You know what?”

“I know ,” she said. “About you. What you like. Who you like.”

Oh, fuck.

Cal’s heart thudded hard, and then stopped altogether, his chest and stomach turning to ice. He must have looked stunned, horrified, sick...because she let out a gentle laugh and placed a hand on his arm.

“It’s okay,” she said. “I’m not planning to tell anyone. You’re safe.”

Cal tried to swallow, and it got stuck halfway down his throat. He coughed, tried to work up some moisture before swallowing again. He thought about pretending he didn’t know what she meant, denying it, anything.

But he could see from the expression on her face that she was telling the truth. She knew.

“When? How did you find out?” His voice was a raspy whisper, sandpaper on sand.

She shrugged. “I’ve known a long time,” she said. “It wasn’t that hard to guess that you weren’t that interested in me. Even when I...well, let’s say I could tell your interest in me was purely platonic from pretty much as soon as we started seeing each other. But I wasn’t sure until Cam.”

“Cam…” Cal frowned, searching his memory. “Cam Hornsby?”

Cameron Hornsby had been a senior at Harvard who Cal had briefly fooled around with at the beginning of sophomore year. It hadn’t lasted long, a month or so, before Cam had decided he needed to focus on school and graduating and Cal was too distracting.

“You knew about me and Cam?” Cal asked. They’d been so careful...or so he thought.

“I already suspected that you were...and then I saw the way you and he interacted. It just confirmed it.”

“You never said anything.”

“No. I hoped that maybe you’d — eventually — come around on me.”

She looked sad, and he suddenly felt guilty. Guilty for having led her on, guilty for lying, guilty for not being what she wanted him to be. It ate at his gut like acid, that he couldn’t help it, and would continue to do it, to other women for the rest of his life.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, his gaze dropping to his hands. “I didn’t mean to deceive you. Or lead you on.”

She sighed. “I know. And you aren’t leading me on, now that I know that it will never happen. You’ll never look at me the way you look at him .”

“At Cam?”

“At Jack.”

Cal stilled. “Oh.” He didn’t deny it. It wouldn’t do any good. She’d seen through them. “It was obvious?”

“Cal, you — both of you — look at each other like there’s no one else around.”

He peered at her. “Do you think the others can tell?”

She thought for a moment, and then shook her head. “I don’t think so. I was looking for it, and knew what to look for. I don’t think anyone else has caught on.”

He shook his head. “You’re being very calm about this,” he said.

She frowned. “Am I? I guess I’ve had a long time to get used to the idea. But I don’t understand it, why you’d want that instead of girls.”

He smirked. “Probably for the same reason you want that instead of girls.”

She let out a surprised laugh. “That’s a fair point. I guess we have even more in common than we thought.”

He sighed. “So. What now? We tell our parents that we decided to break up? Should we wait until after you all leave?”

“Who said anything about breaking up?” she asked. “I’m sure I didn’t.”

The first boom-crackle of fireworks burst overhead, and they both looked up at the green lights streaking across the night sky.

Cal turned back to Katherine. “You don’t want to break up? Why?”

“Shhh. Let’s watch for a minute.”

He sat beside her, too distracted by the explosions going on in his chest to focus on the explosions above his head. He shifted on the blanket, antsy to continue the conversation. Finally, she spoke without looking at him.

“We could help each other,” she said. “Think about it. If I know about you, and am willing to accept it? I can help you.”

“You can?”

Now she did turn back to him. “I can. I can be your cover. No one will suspect, because you’ll have a wife.”

“A wife?” His heart pounded again.

“A wife. Come on, Cal. We both know that’s where we were headed. My mom told me that Judith was getting your grandmother’s ring for you. I half expected you to propose today.”

“My mother wanted me to,” Cal admitted.

“I thought so. I know why you hesitated. But it wouldn’t have to be so bad, would it? We’re friends. We’ve known each other forever, we get along well.” She swiveled so that her legs were tucked under her and her torso was fully facing him. “All that stuff you hate? The social obligations and all? I can take care of all of that. Make you look good. I’d be such a good wife, Cal. I could make you proud.”

“But we wouldn’t really be...it would be fake,” he said.

“And no one has to know that but us. I can give you the freedom you need. And children. I know you want children, and I can give that to you. Someone to carry on your name. So you can leave your own legacy.”

“What about you?” Cal said. “Wouldn’t you hate not having a chance at something real?”

She shrugged one shoulder. “I don’t think so. I get something here, too. Your name. The social position I want to be in. And if I look the other way for you, you could look the other way for me.”

Cal tried to figure out what she was suggesting. “You mean you’d have affairs?”

“Sure,” she said. She smiled. “You want to know what I’ve been doing in the Hamptons while you’ve been falling for a movie star?”

“I haven’t been falling?—“

“I’ve been sneaking around with the guy who cuts our lawn. It’s a total cliché but I don’t even care. So yes, I would have affairs.”

Cal looked up at the colorful, glittering lights and tried to envision the picture she was painting. Could he do that? Marry Katherine, continue to have her as his public partner, and then secretly be able to pursue his true interests without having to lie to her? Would she be happy or would she end up resenting him? Would he resent her?

She’d said being married would give him freedom. In his gut, he knew that was a lie.

“So…” she said, sounding timid once more. “What do you think?”

“I think—” A cluster of explosions burst overhead. “I think I need to think about it.”

After a beat, she nodded. “That’s fine. Take your time, it’s not a rush. You don’t even have to decide during this visit. We can always tell everyone at Christmas that you proposed right before the break.”

“Yeah. Maybe,” he agreed.

“Do you have the ring? With you right now? I’m kind of curious.”

He dug into his pocket and pulled out the jewelry, handing it over to her wordlessly. She turned it over in her fingers, the diamond lighting up with the colors of the fireworks as the show hit its crescendo.

“It’s beautiful,” she murmured. Then she slipped it on her finger.

Cal’s gut clenched at the sight, and he held his breath until she slid it off and handed it back to him.

The finale ended, the last crackling of sparks subsiding into nothing. Cheers could be heard from up and down the beach, a particularly loud burst from the deck of the house next door. Cal tucked the ring back in his pocket and got to his feet. He held a hand out to Katherine to help her up, and they shook out and folded the blanket.

“Why don’t I show you what an asset I can be,” she said suddenly. She glanced to the right, towards Jack’s house. “I know you’re worried about him and want to check on him. Go.”

“I can’t,” Cal said. “My parents — and yours — will be home soon.”

“I’ll tell them you weren’t feeling well and went to bed.” She smiled smugly. “And I’ll tell them they should leave you alone because I already checked in on you and you needed to rest.”

“And they’ll believe you?”

“Why wouldn’t they? For all they know, I’m a devoted girlfriend, almost-fiancé. I’ve no reason to lie to them.”

Cal hesitated, but only for a moment. He wanted to see Jack. Needed it.

“Okay,” he said. “Katherine...thank you.”

“Go,” she said.

He turned and ran for the steps. Once he’d decided to follow her advice, he couldn’t wait another second. He took the stairs up to Jack’s house two at a time, then sprinted across the back lawn.

When he reached the back deck, he scanned the people littered across it, but didn’t detect that familiar mop of black curls.

“Cal!” called Graham. “Happy freedom day, buddy.”

“Yeah, you too,” Cal said. “Do you know where?—“

“Haven’t seen him,” Graham said. “I thought he was with you.”

Cal nodded and headed into the noisy house, where music was once again blasting. After a moment’s consideration, he ignored the crowded rooms and went straight for the stairs, following a hunch.

Jack’s bedroom door was closed. Instead of knocking, Cal turned the knob slowly and then pushed open the door, peeking inside.

There, curled up on his side, still wearing his clothes from dinner, was Jack. The moonlight streaming in the windows illuminated his pale skin, his sleeping features marred by a small frown.

Cal slipped inside and closed the door behind him with a soft click. He approached the bed, trying to determine his best move. Should he wake Jack up?

He kicked off his shoes and crawled onto the bed behind Jack, curling his body around the man’s sleeping form. He placed a small kiss on Jack’s neck and then breathed deeply, the scent of this man enough to relax him immediately.

Jack sighed and snuggled back into Cal’s embrace, and Cal smiled into his curls. A few minutes passed like this, until Jack’s breathing changed ever so slightly and he stiffened for a moment.

“Cal?” he whispered.

“Yeah. It’s me.” Cal replied, pitching his voice into that low rumble that he knew made Jack shiver.

He wasn’t disappointed, as the man in his arms gave a tremble.

“What are you doing here?” Jack asked.

“I wanted to be here.”

“But what about?—“

“Shhhh.” Cal moved, rolling Jack onto his back and silencing him with a deep kiss.

When he withdrew, Jack blinked up at him, his eyes troubled. There were telltale shiny tracks leading away from his eyes, and Cal’s heart broke. Jack had been crying.

“I’m so sorry about today,” Jack said. “I’m so sorry I?—“

“Stop.” Cal kissed Jack again. “Let’s not. I don’t care. Can I just…” He began to trail tiny kisses and licks down Jack’s neck. “Let me show you what I care about.”

He sat up and waited for Jack’s nod, and then — slowly — began to undress him. He unbuttoned Jack’s shirt and pulled it off. The tee-shirt underneath followed. Next came the belt, followed by his linen pants and boxers.

Once Jack was laid bare before him, he wasted no time. He wasn’t sure how to explain what he was feeling, and so he was going to do the second best thing...show Jack.

He skimmed his lips over Jack’s skin, reveling in the breathy moans that evoked. His fingers brushed over gooseflesh, his tongue tasted all the pockets and crevices it could find. He plucked and stroked and teased until Jack was shivering and gasping beneath him.

Jack moaned. “Don’t stop,” he said. “Please.”

“Do you get it yet?” Cal asked, lowering himself on top of Jack and nuzzling at his neck.

“Get — ah —what?” Jack asked.

“Get what I’m trying to show you.”

“What? I’m not?—“

Cal bit into Jack's earlobe and tugged. “Guess I’ll have to keep going, then.”

For the next half hour, he granted Jack’s request and didn’t stop. Once he’d put his hands and mouth on every inch of the man’s body, he simply started all over again. He couldn’t get enough — enough of Jack writhing beneath him, enough of the sounds he made, enough of the way he said Cal such that it sounded like a half-prayer, half-plea.

Eventually, he shed his own clothes and draped himself over Jack, aligning their bodies from head to toe.

“ Now do you get it?” Cal asked.

Jack shivered and turned his head into Cal’s neck. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to be getting.”

“That I don’t care what happened today. It’ll work out. The only thing I care about here…” He swooped in and kissed Jack, kissed him so long he nearly lost track of the sentence. “...the only thing I care about here is you .”

Jack groaned, and then grabbed at Cal’s ass and pulled, so that Cal’s hips shifted and they slid together. Now it was Cal’s turn to moan. He moved his hips in a steady rhythm, and within minutes his orgasm rushed in, exploding out of him on a shout. He heard Jack come apart beneath him, and grinned, gasping.

He leaned down and snagged Jack’s discarded tee-shirt from the floor, using it to wipe them clean before pulling the blankets on the bed back and gathering Jack close beneath them.

They were quiet for a while, and then Jack spoke.

“Shit, that was...unreal.”

Cal laughed. “Yeah.”

“I mean, for not fucking, that was like…”

“Yeah.”

Jack sighed. “So I’m glad you’re here. Obviously. But...how? You didn’t let me ask before.”

Cal thought for a moment. How much should he tell Jack? He sighed.

“Katherine covered for me,” he said quietly.

“She what?” Jack pushed himself up on one elbow and peered down at Cal, his brow furrowed in confusion. “What does she think she’s covering you for ?”

“This,” Cal said. “She knows.”

Jack’s eyes widened. “She knows about?—”

“Well, about me. But also about us.”

“How did she figure it out?” Jack asked.

“Apparently she’s known about me for years.” He let out a short laugh. “And with us? I guess it’s pretty obvious if you know what to look for.”

“Fuck,” Jack muttered. He slid back down onto the pillow. “Do I have to be worried about this? Call my agent, tell him to get ready for another scandal?”

“I don’t think so,” said Cal. “She said she isn’t planning to tell anyone about me, and I guess that covers you, too.” He paused. “She was surprisingly understanding.”

“So why is she still hanging around?” Jack asked. “Why is she still pretending you’re into her?”

“She wants to get married,” Cal said. “She thinks it would benefit us both. She’d get the name and status she craves, while I get a perfect wife to show off so no one is the wiser about who I really am.”

“Wow,” Jack said. “Ambitious. That tracks.”

“She made some good points,” Cal acknowledged. “It would take the pressure off, remove any scrutiny that might come my way. She’d look the other way so I could still date. It could work. And it would be nice not to have to lie.”

“Is that what you really want?” Jack asked. “To have a fake marriage and a secret life?”

“Do I have a choice?” Cal rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. “It’s not like I could do what I really want to do.”

“What do you really want to do?”

“I don’t know. Not that.”

“But if you could have whatever life you wanted?” Jack asked. He placed a palm on Cal’s chest, and Cal wondered if Jack could feel the way his heart sped up at the simple touch.

Follow you back to L.A. in the fall, Cal thought desperately. He didn’t say it. Couldn’t say it, because saying it would make him want it even more, and make the fact that he couldn’t have it completely unbearable.

Besides, it would scare Jack off. The guy had said just that day that commitment wasn’t his thing. He’s probably run screaming at the very suggestion.

So Cal just said, “No idea. Really, I don’t think about it much, because when I do...it just makes me…”

Jack shifted so that his head was on Cal’s chest and his arm was wrapped around Cal’s waist. He sighed.

“I get it,” he said. “I do. You probably think I don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks, and that’s mostly true. But there are some things I have to care about, if I want the things I want, like my career.”

Another stretch of quiet. Cal thought about what Jack had said. As carefree as he seemed, he obviously had things he worried about, and things he needed to be cautious of, if he wanted to be successful in Hollywood.

So they both had to live in a world that told them they weren’t quite right, were never going to be accepted as they were.

“I’m probably going to marry her,” he said, after a while.

Jack didn’t respond right away. Cal listened to the music pulsing through the walls from downstairs, watched the moonlight flicker in the window, felt Jack’s curls under his chin.

Suddenly Jack surged up and kissed him fiercely.

“Then it’s like we said,” said Jack, his lips brushing against Cal. “We have the summer. Let’s make the most of it.”

Jack took control, attacking Cal with his mouth and hands, and all Cal could do was take it. The night expanded around them, and he told himself to just enjoy each moment as it came, and not think too hard about what lay beyond.

And yet, with each passing second, he knew that his freedom was merely temporary, and that future he’d been dumb enough to let himself want was going to crumble away into nothing.