Page 10 of The Summer that Ruined Everything

CHAPTER 10

F or the next two weeks, Cal had a glimpse of a type of freedom that he’d never before tasted.

Even at school, although technically out from under his parents’ roof, he always knew eyes were on him. The need to be careful, to watch every step, every word, every look, lest some acquaintance pass word home that Calloway isn’t behaving as a Buchanan should, was ever present.

But somehow, right here in Westerly, something had changed. Jack’s visit to dinner and the way he had expertly charmed Theodore paid immediate dividends. Suddenly, it was fine for him to spend time next door. It was fine to miss dinner in favor of going out on the town with the Los Angeles people. It was fine to back out of golf games, to skip a day trip to Hartford, to cut his hours short at the office.

When Judith once again expressed concern about negative influences, Theodore simply said, “Calloway’s generation has a natural grasp of diversification in a way ours did not. They know the world is expanding, and they see the benefit in reaching across traditional divides to form relationships and increase opportunities. It’s smart — sometimes the old methods fall short, and Calloway’s way seems to be the future.”

Not used to being called smart by his father, Cal had blushed and mumbled something about the untapped potential of new Hollywood wealth.

Of course, Theodore’s permissive attitude didn’t extend to Cal spending the night with Jack, so that was still done under a cloak of secrecy. Often, he’d simply sneak back in the morning, pretending to have gone for a run on the beach. Most days, the only person who caught him was Flora, since he made sure to come in with the sun rising over the ocean behind him. She’d merely wink, hand him a cup of coffee, and tell him to go change for breakfast.

Nights with Jack were like some kind of a dream, where true freedom reigned. He found that he could be authentic and genuine with Jack in a way he’d never been with anyone, not even himself. In the darkness, with fingers tracing delicate patterns on his chest and stomach, the man would ask him questions that he’d never before dared to contemplate. He discovered that there were things he wished for in the deep, secret parts of his soul.

Voicing them was often uncomfortable and always frightening, but Jack listened and validated and encouraged in such a way that, while wrapped safely in the cocoon of the bedclothes and the arms of his lover, Cal dared to imagine he could one day have a life he actually chose.

And Jack didn’t only ask questions. He opened up as well, confessing to Cal the doubts that plagued him about his position in Hollywood and his worth in his field.

“It must be nice to just know what you’re meant to do. To know what you’re good at and just do it,” Cal said one night. He was holding Jack’s hand in his, playing with his fingers and bumping his thumb over Jack’s knuckles.

Jack snorted beside him. “Is that what you think?” he asked. “That I’m completely sure of everything?”

“Aren’t you?”

“God, no,” Jack said. “I never know if I get a role because I’m good, or because I just look right, or because I’m popular right at this second and they all want to cash in.”

“But when you get the role, you can prove you’re good,” Cal said.

“Sure. Right now . But what happens if people get bored with me? Or I misstep? Get a bad rep? Someone decides they don’t like me for some reason and blacklists me?”

Cal was surprised at the note of uncertainty in Jack’s voice. It was the first time he’d heard it, and it was unsettling.

Jack pushed himself up on one elbow and peered down at Cal, his curls tumbling over his face and sending it into inky shadow.

“Do you know why I’m here?” he asked.

“Here? In bed with me?” Cal searched for meaning in the darkness.

“No. Here , in Westerly, and not in L.A.” Jack’s voice was suddenly urgent, a whisper that seemed like air squeezed through a microscopic crevice.

“No. Why?” Cal asked, whispering as well.

“I got myself into some trouble. In L.A. So my agent booted me out of town while he sorted things out.”

Cal was quiet for a moment, digesting that information. Jack had mentioned a few times that he had needed to get out of L.A., but Cal had assumed he had just meant he needed a break.

“Say something,” Jack said, when the silence stretched out a little too long.

“What kind of trouble?” Cal asked. He wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to know, but he had to ask.

“It doesn’t matter. I didn’t...it’s not like I killed anyone or anything. More of a problem of perception than anything actually bad. But the point is, I don’t really know what I’ll be going back to. If I’ll even have a career to return to at the end of the summer.”

Jack sounded bitter, his normal upbeat and snarky tone erased in the wake of this revelation.

Instead of putting Cal off, however, the reversal had the opposite effect. Jack was making himself vulnerable, exposing something real , and the possibilities of what that could mean gave Cal the freedom to surge up, find Jack’s lips, and kiss him thoroughly.

When he pulled away, Jack said, “What was that for?”

“Thank you for telling me,” Cal said.

“Oh.” Jack flopped back onto the pillow, and Cal rolled onto his side so that their faces were an inch apart. “Well. I was just…”

“You were sharing something that scares you. I’m glad you feel that I’m safe to do that with.” Cal found Jack’s hand again, clasped it tightly. “And I don’t know how serious a problem this is, but I hope it works out. Because you are good, and you know you are, and they should want you for your talent.”

Jack let out a soft sigh, and Cal could feel the tension leaving his body.

“Yeah. They should. And fuck them if they don’t.” He giggled. “Hey, if it turns out I’m done, I can just stay here. Or go back to Harvard with you. You can keep me in your dorm, tell everyone I’m your cousin visiting from France.”

“Will I have to speak French with you? Because if so, I’d better learn it first.”

“Oh, it’s easy,” Jack said, giggling some more. “Repeat after me: embrasse-moi.”

“Embrasse-moi,” Cal said, the strange words clunky on his tongue.

Then Jack was kissing him, and he forgot to wonder what he’d just said.

Cal relished his new circumstances until the end of June neared. Then one Saturday morning, over breakfast, his father brought up a subject Cal had been doing his best to pretend didn’t exist at all, and reality hit him like a bucket of cold water.

“The Thorntons will be here on Wednesday,” Theodore said, peering over his newspaper. “Is that right?”

Cal choked on his bacon. Fuck.

“Yes. I spoke with Emily yesterday. They’ll be driving up from the Hamptons and plan to arrive early afternoon,” Judith confirmed. She glanced at Cal. “Are you all right?”

“Yes,” Cal said. He coughed once more, then cleared his throat. “Sorry.”

“Drink some water,” she instructed, before turning back to Theodore. “They’ll stay through the twentieth. Have you arranged for the yacht to be stocked and staffed for Thursday?”

“No, I’ll do that this week. Do you have preferences for the menu?”

“I think so,” Judith said. “I’ll write some things down for you.”

“Very good. Calloway, you must be excited to see Katherine. Have the two of you talked about how you’ll spend your time?” Theodore asked.

“No, sir, not yet,” Cal said. “Maybe the club for an afternoon. She enjoys golf.”

“I’m sure she’d like that,” Judith said. “And perhaps you could take her up to Providence, see a show. Have dinner.”

“Mmm. Maybe,” Cal agreed. “We could all go.”

“Oh, I’m sure the two of you will be anxious to be out of the range of prying eyes of your parents,” Judith said, smiling knowingly. “After so much time apart.”

Cal took a large bite of his western omelet in order to avoid a verbal comment. As his parents began discussing how else to entertain the Thorntons while in town — we’ll invite the Wallaces to brunch, Emily Thornton just loves Felicia Wallace...Joe would like a few rounds at the club and an afternoon in the cigar lounge — he realized with a sinking sensation that, from Wednesday afternoon, he’d be occupied with Katherine and their parents for two and a half weeks.

Which meant he’d have to tell Jack he wouldn’t be around.

Which meant he’d have to tell Jack about Katherine.

He pushed back from his chair, the omelet and coffee churning in his stomach.

“May I be excused?” he asked.

Judith waved a hand at him, continuing a debate with Theodore about whether the six of them should take a trip up to Boston for a weekend, and Cal fled.

* * *

On Monday night, Cal went with Jack and a crew from the house out to the bowling alley. They paid for their rental shoes and balls and took up three lanes side by side, jostling each other and making bets on who’d embarrass themselves the most with the lowest score.

Cal ended up on a team with Jack, facing off against Scott and Greg. Halfway through their second game, the roller-skating waitstaff brought their burgers and more beer, and they took a break to chow down. Jack downed his beer and ordered a third, and by the time they returned to the game, his eyes were bright and his cheeks were tinged with pink.

Cal sat back on the wooden bench and took in the sights around him. The lights were bright overhead. The air smelled of burgers and fries. The music was loud, the noise from the balls hitting the pins was louder, and the atmosphere was one of general chaos.

It was time. He’d decided to tell Jack tonight, and thought it would be better to do it in a crowd. It made it more casual, minimized its importance. Put less pressure on Jack, and their relationship, by passing it off as less than a big deal than if he did it when they were alone.

He hoped.

He waited until Scott and Greg had turned to talk to Will and Graham in the next lane, and Jack was hefting his giant purple ball into the air.

“I need to let you know,” Cal began. “My girlfriend’s family is coming to stay with us for the holiday. So I won’t be around much, starting Wednesday afternoon.”

Jack paused mid-stride. He turned to look at Cal, the bowling ball dangling from two fingers.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his brows furrowing, forming a tiny wrinkle on his forehead. “Your what?”

Cal cleared his throat. “My...uh...my girlfriend. Her family is coming to visit. They’ll be here for a couple of weeks, and it’s going to be hard for me to?—“

Thunk. The ball hit the waxed floor and rolled to the side.

Jack frowned and shook his head. “Hang on. I’m still on the part where you’re telling me — just now — that you have a girlfriend . What the fuck?”

Glancing to the right to make sure Scott and Greg were still occupied, Cal shifted in his seat.

“Yeah. I mean, it isn’t really a big deal. I haven’t seen her since we left school, or even talked to her. Once, I guess. But while they’re here, I’m going to have to be?—“

“Got it. You don’t have to explain.” Jack looked around, his eyes alighting on his friends, the crowd at the bar, the waitstaff zooming by, and huffed out an annoyed breath. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

He turned on his heel and strode towards the back hall between the lanes and the billiards room.

“Wait,” Cal said, but Jack just shook his head and kept going, his shoulders hunching forward and his hands shoved in the pockets of his snug jeans.

Shit, that had been a mistake. He’d clearly miscalculated.

“Restroom,” he said to Scott, by way of explanation, as he exited the lanes and hurried after Jack.

He found the man leaning against the tiled wall in the mint-green restroom, his face a stormcloud. When he spotted Cal pushing through the metal door, he grimaced. A few curls had escaped from the tie that held his hair in place at the base of his neck, springing around his temples and giving him a slightly wild look.

Neither of them said anything while a guy in a flowered polyester top shook water off his hands and wiped them on his hips. They waited until he’d left, and then Cal turned back to Jack.

“Hey—“ he started, but Jack held up a hand and cut him off.

“You shouldn’t have come after me,” Jack said. “I told you I’d be back in a minute.”

“Yeah, but you’re upset.” Cal decided to keep his distance, leaning up against the door.

“You just told me you have a fucking girlfriend,” Jack said. “One you’ve conveniently never mentioned. What the hell am I supposed to be, if not upset?”

Cal swallowed, his heart beating faster than he’d like. “Are you jealous? I thought you didn’t do jealousy. Right?”

Jack’s face cleared, relaxing into a neutral expression. “I don’t,” he said firmly.

“Then why are you upset?” Cal asked. He held his breath, watching Jack’s mouth twitch back into a frown.

“I don’t...I feel like you’ve been lying to me,” he said, finally. “You’ve never said anything about having a girlfriend. We said that we weren’t going to be with anyone else while — I just don’t like being lied to.”

“I wasn’t — I didn’t mean to lie,” Cal said. He pushed his hair off his forehead, hated how much he was suddenly sweating. “I kind of forgot about her.”

Jack’s left eyebrow shot up. “You forgot? That you had a girlfriend?”

Cal flushed in embarrassment. “Yeah. She’s kind of an old family friend. So she’s always just sort of been there. I don’t even know how we ended up — at some point we started dating, mainly to shut up our parents, I think? She’s safe. But I’ve barely thought about her since I left school.”

“Do you like her?” Jack asked quietly.

Cal shrugged. “I mean, she’s all right. As someone to take places. I guess.”

“But are you—” Jack shook his head, his escaped curls flying around. “Do you like her.”

There was a long beat of silence, and Cal sighed.

“No,” he said. “No, not like that. And I don’t intend to break what we said about not seeing anyone else while we’re together. It’s just appearances. We’ve never even...she’s just a girl I take around sometimes, to make our parents happy.”

“Never?” Jack asked.

“We’ve kissed,” Cal said. “That’s all. I don’t—” He couldn’t help but make a face. “I’m not interested in her that way. You should know that.”

He looked at Jack, silently begging him to understand. Katherine wasn’t his choice, she was Theodore and Judith’s choice. And since his own choices would be impossible, Katherine was the path of least resistance. He didn’t really mind her, and it could certainly be worse.

Jack sighed. “Maybe I am a little jealous,” he said. “Which is weird. I don’t like it.”

Cal’s pulse jumped, his heart leaping at the idea that Jack was feeling possessive. He couldn’t help that one corner of his lip turned up. Jack noticed.

“You do like it, though,” Jack said, on a half laugh. “You like that I hate her already.”

“Yeah,” Cal admitted. “I do. If it makes you feel any better, I’d hate anyone who you...you know.”

“It does make me feel better,” Jack grinned. “So this girl?—“

“Katherine,” Cal said.

“Right, okay. Katherine and her stuck-up parents are coming to stay with you and your stuck-up parents, and all the stuck-up parents will be expecting you two to...what?”

Cal shrugged. “They’ll expect us to be a couple. So I’ll have to go to dinner and the club with them, and also take Katherine out. I think we’re supposed to go up to Boston for a weekend, too. I’ve been avoiding the preparations, so I’m not totally sure of all the details.”

“And while all this —“ Jack waves his hand in the air and his lips curl in distaste, “—is going on, you won’t be available to me.”

“No,” Cal said. “Maybe here and there, but not like it is now. They’ll be expecting me to be Calloway Buchanan.”

“So I’m supposed to just sit around? And hate the fact that you’re cozied up to some pretend society girlfriend while I’m all by myself? Does she know you’re?—”

“No,” Cal said quickly. “She doesn’t know. Jack, I’m sorry. I fucked this up. I should have told you about her, but I didn’t want to think about it so I put it out of my mind. And now it’s here, and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

A flicker of something passed over Jack’s face. “Yeah. I mean, we’re just having some fun. You don’t really owe me anything. And I can see how — if you don’t really think of her as significant, you might not have thought it was important to mention.”

Jack folded his arms across his chest and dropped his gaze to the floor, where he was scuffing his rented shoe on the tiles.

Cal cleared his throat, knowing he had to say what he was about to say, and hating it. “If you...I mean, I don’t want to tell you what you can and can’t do, so if you move on while I’m unavailable, I can’t blame you.”

Jack’s head shot up. “Are you giving me permission to see other people?”

“Not permission ,” Cal said. “You don’t need my permission. And I don’t like it. I don’t want it. But I’d understand.”

Someone tried to open the door, and it thudded against Cal’s back. He quickly stepped out of the way, muttering an apology to the guy who walked in and headed for a urinal. Jack glanced at Cal and started for the door, gesturing with his head for Cal to follow.

Out in the empty hall, Jack smoothed his curls back and tucked them into the tie, then turned to face Cal.

“Two weeks isn’t so long,” he said quietly. “I guess I could wait for you.”

Cal’s heart sped up. He took a step forward involuntarily, and stopped short just in time.

“If I could, I’d kiss you right now,” he said, his voice pitched low so as not to carry away from them.

Jack smiled, an impish gleam in his eye. “I dare you. I double dog dare you.”

Cal glanced around, and then, pulse racing, he surged forward and pressed his lips against Jack’s once before taking a large step back.

Jack stared at him, eyes wide and lips parted. “I didn’t think you’d do it,” he said.

“Neither did I,” Cal said with a shrug. “But it seemed worth the risk. For someone who’ll wait for me.”

“For two weeks,” Jack said. “And if I hear about you giving her anything other than a performative peck, all bets are off. Apparently I get jealous now, and since it’s new, I can’t predict how I’ll react. Deal?”

“Deal,” Cal said, laughing. “We should get back before they send a search party.”

Jack turned, letting his fingers tangle with Cal’s for the briefest of moments before heading down the hall and back to their game.

* * *

When the Thorntons arrived on Wednesday afternoon, Cal was as ready as he was going to get. He’d spent the night before with Jack, as usual, and there was a frantic urgency to the way the man claimed him just before dawn.

“Sneak away at least once?” he had said, his lips skimming along Cal’s collarbone. “Think you can manage?”

“It’ll be tough, with all the extra people in the house,” Cal had said with regret. “The guest rooms are near my bedroom — and one faces the beach — so it will be harder to come in and out without anyone noticing.”

“Try. You don’t have to warn me. If you see an opportunity, take it.” Jack nibbled on Cal’s jaw.

Cal had agreed with a simple, “Okay.”

He knew he’d try. Jack was worth it. He just wasn’t sure if he’d get the opportunity.

He and his parents came outside as the car pulled up to the house, lining the stone staircase like something out of a movie. Mr. Thornton exited the driver’s side first, and then came around to open the passenger door for his wife and daughter. Mrs. Thornton slid into view with a nod for his parents, and then Katherine emerged, one hand on her yellow wide-brimmed hat and the other holding a powder blue clutch.

She peeked up at him and waved the clutch. He waved back.

Then he was shaking Mr. Thornton’s hand, kissing Mrs. Thornton on the cheek, and Katherine threw her arms around his neck with a tiny squeal. He hugged her back, his arms wrapping around her tiny waist as she pressed up against him, her hat smashing against his temple.

“I missed you,” she giggled in his ear. “What, you couldn’t call me back?”

“Sorry. I’ve been busy,” he replied. “It’s good to see you.”

He disentangled himself and stepped away, joining his father and Mr. Thornton at the trunk of the car to deal with the luggage. For the next twenty minutes, there was a flurry of bringing things inside, showing the guests to their rooms, and pouring drinks, and finally, they were seated in the living room.

Katherine sat beside him, her knees pointed towards his and her manicured hand on his left forearm. He didn’t pull away from her cool fingers. Instead, he rested a palm on her knee, and she smiled at him, her brown eyes going soft and hopeful.

It’s called acting, he told himself. The thought reminded him of Jack, and the scripts they’d read together. He could do this and make it work, and tell Jack all about his new skills in two weeks.

After some polite catching up — Katherine has been looking forward to this trip, I think she’s bored with the beaches in the Hamptons already; Emily planned a very successful benefit with her Daughters of the American Revolution chapter in June; Joe shot two under par the other day — the focus turned to Cal.

“Calloway,” Mr. Thornton said, “your father tells me you’ve been working at the office this summer. How are you liking it?”

“It’s interesting, sir,” Cal said.

“Glad to hear it. That’s the kind of thing a father wants to see: his son taking to his business. I’m sure you’ll be ready to run the place in a few years, let your father retire in style.”

“If his business strategies work, you may be right,” Theodore said. “Calloway has been broadening our investment contacts this summer.”

“Oh?” Mr. Thornton looked interested. “Anything I should tap into?”

“You know these youngsters. They’re worldly now,” Theodore said. “Calloway has been ignoring the old club and forging relationships with a set of up-and-coming movie stars.”

“Hollywood money,” Mr. Thornton said, nodding. “My firm is dipping into that as well. The cash certainly seems to be flowing out west, and people with money to spend may as well invest it.”

“Movie stars in Westerly?” Katherine asked, her eyes sparkling. “Who?”

Mrs. Thornton clucked her tongue. “Hollywood seems so fickle. Too willing to chase the trends, not steady enough for long term investment. And...the stories you hear about Hollywood types. Disgraceful.”

Judith rolled her eyes. “I happen to agree with you,” she said. “But Theodore?—“

“You’re worrying too much,” Theodore said. “That one boy had fine manners.”

“Who?” Katherine asked again.

“What was his name, Calloway?” Theodore asked. “Jack Something.”

“Jack Francis,” Cal said.

Katherine squealed. “Jack Francis? Here? That’s so far out, can you introduce me?”

Cal froze like a deer in headlights. Jack meeting Katherine? He’d rather?—

“Please, Calloway,” Katherine said. “I know — you can invite him out on the yacht with us tomorrow. Would that be okay?” She turned to the adults. “If he joined us?”

“Yes, invite the boy,” Mr. Thornton said. “Let’s see about this new investment strategy.”

“Fine by me,” Theodore said. “Calloway can call over next door after dinner.”

“He’s right next door? Oh, Calloway, how can you stand it?” Katherine bounced in her seat. “He’s so dreamy.”

Cal swallowed. “I’ll call him after dinner. He may already have plans.”

“Worth a try,” Theodore said.

“You can convince him, Calloway. If you’re friends. Tell him how nice the yacht is.” Katherine was gripping Cal’s arm tightly, and now he did pull away. He disguised the move by draping his arm on the back of the sofa behind her, and she shifted closer.

He did his best not to grimace.

* * *

The phone rang six times before Penny picked it up.

“‘Lo,” she said. It sounded like she was chewing gum.

“Hi, Penny? This is Cal?—“

“Hey, Cal, where are you? We’ve got a whole darts tournament going on tonight, you’d kill it. Winner gets bragging rights and the last bottle of scotch in the house.”

“I’m home,” Cal said, wishing more than anything he could just roll on over. “Is Jack busy?”

“I’ll get him.”

There was a clatter as she dropped the handset on the desk, and then a couple of minutes of background music and voices. Finally, Jack’s voice floated through the line.

“Cal?”

Cal smiled. He couldn’t help it.

“Hi.”

“It hasn’t even been a day. You miss me already?” Jack asked, his voice dropping into a coarse, suggestive tone.

“Yeah.” It was true. Hearing Jack’s voice simply increased the longing he’d been feeling all day and all evening. “Do you miss me?”

“You know I do. What’s going on? I figured I wouldn’t hear from you for a few days, at least.” There was a touch of concern in Jack’s voice now, and Cal’s chest warmed.

“Well, I have a proposition for you,” Cal said. He glanced at the door to his father’s office, glad he’d had the foresight to close it. “You can say no.”

“What is it?” Jack sounded curious now.

“My father mentioned to the Thorntons that you were living next door,” Cal said. “Sorry about that, but he’s got this idea that I’m wooing you for business investments.”

“Is that what you’re doing?” Jack asked. “‘Wooing’ me?”

Cal snorted. “For business only.”

“Of course. Business. I must have been confused because you had my cock in your mouth for a half hour this morning.”

Cal closed his eyes, trying to staunch the immediate desire that the memory brought.

“Anyway,” he said, once he had things under control. “Katherine wants to meet you. So everyone decided I should invite you to come out with us for the day on the yacht tomorrow.”

There was a stretch of silence. Then Jack laughed.

“You think that’s a good idea?” he asked. “To trap me on a fucking boat with your girlfriend for eight hours? I’m jealous, after all.”

“It’s probably a terrible idea,” Cal said. “But I want you to say yes.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Cal said, suddenly knowing without a doubt it was true. “I mean, obviously we’ll have to be very careful, but I want to see you. And this way, even though we can’t...you know...at least we get to spend a day together. And if it goes well, then I could bring Katherine over to the house sometimes and maybe?—”

“Hang on, one step at a time,” Jack said, laughing. “I’ll go.”

“You will?” Cal grinned.

“Yes. I’m curious about this girlfriend. I’ll get to hang with you. And hey, a day on a yacht. Can’t be too terrible.”

“The Wallaces will be there too,” Cal said. “So you’ll know a couple of people.”

“I’ll bring J.C., then,” Jack said. “Richie will be happy and I guess I could make Sally’s day by paying a little attention to her.”

“Okay. So I’ll pick you up in the morning. At nine-thirty,” Cal said. “Bring your swimsuit, we’ll drop anchor and swim at some point.”

“I’ll be waiting,” Jack said. “Whether I’m ready or not.”

They chatted another couple of minutes before Cal reluctantly said goodbye so he could join the rest of the house for after-dinner drinks and share the good news.

He had no idea what he was getting into, but one way or the other, the holiday was going to be interesting.