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I t was the morning, the worst of it all. Waking up to an empty space next to her wasn’t supposed to hurt as badly.

When Maris woke up, instead of finding Valda’s sleeping form, she saw an untouched pillow. Tears burned at the corner of her eyes. She pushed the bedsheets off her and ignored the emptiness enough to get herself going for the day. A long dining table waited on the first floor of House of Arago with breakfast already served.

It was strange to have her needs taken care of instead of her doing all the work. She ate her breakfast in relative silence. Compared to Oberon Castle, no waiting maids stood nearby. The room was empty and quiet except for the random clatter of her utensils. She finished her meal, stood from the chair, and headed out to find Melvian.

As she exited the house, Cai greeted her with a bow. He had been standing by the door, hopefully not for the entire night. She had already told Eyphah she didn’t want the boy up during the night.

New Agenor was busy. Many were gathering the harvest of their communal garden. A group of men were fixing up a cabin while a group of women held dirty clothing and headed to the lakes. Kids played and ran around the square. Maris recognized Coljar, Lia, and Kimmi amongst the children. Being the oldest, Kimmi sat and watched everyone else play.

Maris’s lips stretched into a small smile as she walked further away from the square and over to a slightly broken-down house. Outside the cabin, a young man stood making a sketch. As Maris got closer, she saw the drawing of the same house Melvian was staying in. She greeted the young man with a pat on his back before climbing on the deck. She knocked on the door, and after a couple of seconds, Melvian opened.

“Morning!” Her friend’s chirpy greeting made her stomach turn. Maris was sure Melvian was being extra happy on purpose, but deep down, she knew her friend missed her mate as much as she did.

“Good morning, Melvian.”

“Come in! I just got done with breakfast.” Melvian opened the door wider and stepped aside as Maris walked in. “How are you feeling?”

Horrible . “I am fine. I feel slightly out of place, but I will eventually settle down.” She needed to busy her hands so her mind wouldn’t trail back to Valda. “I was thinking about what you said.”

Melvian slanted her head. “Oh?”

“About being an Asclepius worshiper? What do I need to do? You said you would teach me the way, and I am really looking forward to learning.”

“Ah, well.” Melvian laced her fingers together and stood by the now empty dining table. “You want to be a worshiper?”

“I want to help others.”

“You are not answering my question. Do you want to be an Asclepius worshiper? Yes or no?”

The weight of her answer didn’t quite settle in Maris’s mind. She shifted her weight from one foot onto another until she nodded. “Yes.”

“Poseidon might not be happy with that decision.”

“You know my parents did not raise me to worship any gods. I believe I might have a clean slate.”

Melvian raised her eyebrows. “You do.” She waved her hand at Maris, signaling to follow her. She followed Melvian up the stairs and into her room, where she moved about her belongings. Melvian rummaged until she found a small book. “It’s not much, but I recommend you read through this before making a decision.”

Maris took the book and scanned through it. There were many hand-drawn illustrations of the human body and plants, but before all that, there was one page with golden writing on it. As Maris read over it, she noticed the worshiper’s pledge. Maris arched her brow at Melvian, waiting for an explanation .

“It is a lot to take in, that’s only the basic things you must know. Reading and actually putting your knowledge into practice are two different things.” Melvian pursed her lips. “Do you wish to become a worshiper to help your people?”

“Of course.”

“Yes, well. That will be a problem then. Asclepius only blesses those who wish to use his gift to help everyone , not just their people.” Melvian leaned on her knees as she stood up. “We help anyone in need. The pledge binds us, and we must honor it until our last breath. If you are not ready, I am afraid I cannot teach you.”

“You could’ve told me before we left Lasmeer’s place.”

Melvian shrugged dismissively. “I still need someone whom I can trust to take care of me when my child is ready to be born, and to be quite honest, you are the only person I can trust right now.”

“What about Eyphah?”

Melvian scoffed. “I don’t trust her.”

“You don’t trust your mate’s sister?”

“No. She is nothing like Isen.”

The earnestness of Melvian’s words was heavy, and it made Maris uncomfortable. “Why?”

The air whistled through Melvian as she inhaled deeply. “I just don’t.”

“Fair enough. I will be the one to find out why,” Maris said, tucking the book close to her chest. “I will take the day to read if that’s fine with you.”

“You are the queen, yet I do need a concrete answer.”

“About?”

Melvian waved her hand again and sat on the corner of her bed. “Let’s say this is a hypothetical situation.”

Maris narrowed her eyes at her friend. “Go on.”

“What would happen if we encountered a Vulcanian?”

“Is this a trick question?”

“We are starting a war with them, Maris. They are basically the enemy.”

“They haven’t hurt us yet.”

“Yet,” Melvian groaned when Maris’s annoyance brewed. “All right, all right. Let’s say you are already a worshiper, and a high official from the Sky Kingdom stumbles before you, beaten and… hurt.”

Maris’s shoulders tensed, and Melvian noticed right away. “And? ”

“Let’s say they are Oberon Castle. They killed many and betrayed Valda, and he is asking you for help.” Melvian paused and stared at Maris. “Would you help him?”

Maris’s answer came without hesitation. “No.”

“Then I am afraid you cannot be an Asclepius worshiper. We must swear that we must help whoever asks to the best of our abilities, regardless of whether they are our enemies.”

“Do you think I will let those bastards get away with what they have done?”

“Asclepius doesn’t see sin or crimes. He sees pain, suffering, and sickness. That’s the real enemy.”

Maris bit her inner cheek and shook her head. “I am off to read. Have a good day, Melvian.” She grabbed the doorknob as Melvian called out.

“Maris, wait.” The young healer stood from the bed and grabbed Maris’s arm, pulling her back. “Think it through. We don’t have to start today. It has only been a day since we’ve arrived here…”

A fake smile spread across Maris’s features. “I will talk to you later, Melvian.” As soon as Melvian released her with a disheartened sigh, Maris headed back to House of Arago.

Helping someone who had caused so much pain and suffering was out of the question. Even now, the idea of ruling with peace as a beacon was crumbling. There was too much anger in her to forgive what had happened. Too many innocent lives had been lost to Arwin’s antics, and anyone who thought he was doing the right thing needed to be punished. If she were to become an Asclepius worshiper and one of those people asked for her help, she’d have no choice but to help them, and to Maris, that was treason.

As her mind stirred with thoughts of both peace and violence, she found herself before Poseidon’s trident.

Her birth father’s weapon.

On a different day, Maris would’ve taken her time to walk around the small altar. She would’ve bowed to the trident and whispered prayers in order to get a signal, a hint of what she was supposed to do.

Her parents had taught her about Poseidon, how he created the Sea Kingdom, how, over the centuries, he raised the Kingdom to the surface, and how the mighty king of the sea cared for the islands as if they were treasures. She had read about the bridges and how the god’s magic kept them afloat.

Swallowing hard, Maris scratched her arm, staring and taking in all the intricate details and designs of the weapon. She wondered if Poseidon was a jealous god, and what would he think if his chosen human vessel would rather pray to another god to save mortals .

Leaning her head back, Maris quietly studied the room. Last time she was there, she was with Valda.

Everywhere she looked, the other woman’s haunting presence was there.

The last time she held the weapon, she couldn’t hold it up, and yet something made her take it from the dais. Holding onto Melvian’s book with one hand and the trident with the other, Maris let out a huff as she struggled with its weight.

It wasn’t until a calloused hand moved behind her and gripped the trident right over her hand. Maris turned around, and her eyes met a pair of dark cobalt.

Eyphah answered her question before Maris could even voice it. “I came to look for some things I left behind. I heard you were here and saw you were struggling.” She then drew her hand back.

Maris nodded, the trident’s end falling a bit too loud on the ground. She let out a soft curse. “Does it get easier?”

“It takes time to get used to the weight. But as you train with it, you will soon pick it up, though it was a feather,” Eyphah answered, taking a step back to restore some much-needed personal space. “I am sorry I came unannounced.”

“I believe people in this settlement do not know what a locked door means.”

Eyphah let out a breathy laugh. “You are right. My apologies.”

“I could forgive you, but I know you will do as you wish.”

“Probably…” A playful smirk painted her lips, and Maris couldn’t help but mimic it. “I know you said you don’t wish to learn how to fight with the trident, but—”

“I changed my mind,” Maris interjected. “I want to learn. I want you to teach me.”

Eyphah blinked incredulously for a few seconds. “Are you sure?”

“I am.” Maris placed the trident back on the dais with Eyphah’s help. “I am… going through some changes.” She brushed her palm against her trousers and then turned to Eyphah. Her fake smile never dissipated from her lips. “And I would like your help.”

Eyphah nodded apprehensively. “All right… Just say the word and I will be there for whatever you need.”

“Thank you, Eyphah. I really appreciate your willingness.”

“I live to serve my queen,” Eyphah said with a dip of her chin.

Maris moved uncomfortably for a moment before stepping aside. “I have some reading materials to go through, and I need to settle down and—”

“I understand I am not the person you want by your side right now.” Eyphah crossed her arms. “I have a million questions, but I will not bombard you with them. ”

“Thank you for your consideration,” Maris said the last word with a questioning inflection.

“That doesn’t mean I will not ask them.”

“And even if you do, I still decide if I answer them.” The smile vanished.

“Fair enough.” Eyphah nodded again and lowered her gaze to the ground. “I am a good listener, though.”

Maris scoffed. “I know where this is going, Eyphah, and really I—”

“I will not force you, but I can see something is destroying you from the inside out, and I know Queen Valda’s absence is not only because of her injury. I know for a fact if things were all right between the two of you, you wouldn’t be here.”

“I want to make a couple of things clear, Eyphah, and I want you to listen well. I don’t owe you any explanation about my personal life. I owe you explanations regarding the safety of my people, of our people. Who I sleep with is my concern and mine alone.”

Eyphah drew back. “My apologies. Maybe I am overstepping my boundaries,”

“You certainly are.”

“I am because regardless of everything that has happened, I care about your wellbeing.”

“If you care about my wellbeing, then I suggest you put all your attention into training me. I am sick and tired of having others protect me like I am useless.”

“You are not useless, Your Highness.”

“I know… I know, but right now I feel like I am.” Maris tightened her grip on the book. “Having to hide away here, exposing all of you. I feel like I am doing more harm than good coming back, and then…” and then there was Valda. Maris lifted her gaze enough to see Eyphah staring down at her. She wasn’t judging her. Rather, she looked like she was holding her ground and forcing herself not to hug Maris. “I am sorry. It has been a rough couple of days.”

“Understandable.” Eyphah took a step back and was almost through the door when she turned back to Maris. “If it is any consolation, I am glad you are back here with us.” Eyphah’s smile was shy and small. “Your presence in New Agenor gives everyone hope, and we will do anything in our power to protect the rightful queen of the Sealian throne.”

Maris couldn’t help the one-sided smile that ghosted across her lips. It was nice to know she was appreciated and needed now more than ever, since she felt so useless. “Thank you.”

“Of course. I will leave you be… for now. Training will start tomorrow— If that’s all right with you. ”

“I can get some training done tomorrow.”

“Great. I will see you tomorrow then. Rest, relax, unwind.”

“All right,” Maris said, and as Eyphah walked down the stairs to the second floor, Maris called out to her. She wasn’t being fair to her. She was taking her frustration out on Eyphah when all she was doing was worrying about her.

Eyphah turned, slightly confused. “Yes?”

“I am sorry if I lashed out at you.”

Eyphah shrugged, then laughed. “I am used to it. I am imprudent and rude.”

“You are pretty imprudent…”

“My offer still stands. I am a good listener, horrible at giving advice, though.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“That answer is better than a ‘no’.” Eyphah grinned. “Have a pleasant day, Your Highness.” Eyphah descended the stairs and quietly left the House of Arago.

Valda’s stomach turned within itself. Her eyes flew open as she pushed the grogginess away and dashed to a random bucket in the room. She puked the stew she had hours ago. The acid in her stomach reminded her she needed to eat more.

There was no way she would allow the sickness or anything for that matter to force her to lose weight or her strength. She needed all of it. Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, she turned her hooded gaze to Cerberus. The cat took most of the space of the bed, but Valda wouldn’t have it any other way. Her pet stretched her paws forward and sat in the middle of the bed. The fine hair at the end of her ears twitched before she blinked slowly at her.

Valda checked the second bed in the room and found it empty. Isen was still out getting them supplies. She wasn’t sure how long it had been since their last conversation.

Dragging herself to the bed, Valda tried her hardest to ignore the burning stretch of the stitches of her flank and back. Her stomach turned again as the coldness of the night seeped through the cracked windows. She stood by the bedside, her eyes roaming the undone small bed. Cerberus tilted her head to look at her, her eyes closed just as Valda rubbed under her chin .

The cat’s loud purrs filled the room, and for just a second, Valda felt as if she was back in the castle. If it wasn’t for the pain in her body, and the rumbling in her stomach, she wouldn’t be surprised if she blinked and Maris was on the bed.

Valda scoffed and shook her head. It had been less than a fucking month since she had opened her eyes and stared into a mirror. Less than a month since she had first laid eyes on Maris.

All disheveled, with paint marks all over her skin. Her skin… Oh, how she wanted to touch her right at that moment. One graze of her fingertips over Maris’s body, and all her ailments would be gone in an instant. One gaze of Maris’s blue eyes, and she would have all the strength she needed to take back what was hers…

She just needed one whisper of her name on Maris’s mouth…

Valda wasn’t asking for much. She just needed Maris to acknowledge her. To look at her the way she always did. With those inviting blue eyes, with a perfect yet teasing smile. With exploring hands and soft mouth…

Fuck…

Valda’s hands curled into two fists. She hadn’t even noticed how ragged her breath was, how sensitive her own skin was. Her clothing was bothering her. Swallowing hard, Valda pushed Cerberus off the bed and lay down on her back, ignoring the discomfort of the wound.

Squeezing her eyes shut, Valda parted her lips, Maris’s name slipping out in a reverent whimper. She didn’t want to open her eyes. She knew if she did, she would find herself in the inn, with her cat, alone.

She would rather think of Maris, of the way her hips swayed when she danced, the way her laughter burst out of her, of how soft her hands felt on her breast, her stomach, in her…

A breath exploded out of Valda, her own hand finding the buckle of her pants, with her eyes still closed, she fumbled with the latch and undid it enough to slip one hand inside. She cupped her mound, finally realizing how wet she was.

Valda called out to her again, shuddering in a breath as she gathered the wetness with her fingertips. She circled the throbbing nub, squeezing her eyes tighter. She wanted her traces to be unhurried, as if it was Maris who was blessing her with her touch. She imagined the other woman at her feet, blue eyes fixed on her, unwavering, stirring her desire within her core.

“Maris… ”

Gasping, Valda inserted one finger into her, while the other hand pulled at her blouse. Exposing her wrapped chest to the sky, she cursed, tugging at the fabric, wanting nothing more than to feel the cold air on her heated skin. She needed a release, she needed to quench her thirst, she needed her mate right here, right now.

Inserting a second finger, Valda pressed her head to the pillow, fighting the urge to open her eyes and hoping to find Maris. Dragging her fingers up to her clit, Valda moaned as pleasured zipped through her, bucking her hips off from the bed.

Suddenly, Isen opened the door to their room unceremoniously loudly. Valda’s eyes flew open, grabbing the bedsheet and covering herself.

“Fucking knock!” Valda screamed, just as Isen turned to look at her, confused.

Crimson red covered his cheeks and ears, as he turned his back to her. “My apologies. I thought you were asleep,” he mumbled, scratching the back of his neck.

Valda pulled her pants up, using the sheet as a shield. She fixed the blouse, tossing the chest wraps away for the time being.

“Is it cultural for Sealians to not knock on doors?”

“I said I was sorry.”

Cerberus stood from her spot on the ground and stretched her back paws before heading towards Isen. The man looked down at the animal, avoiding at all costs making eye contact with Valda.

“I got us some provision,” the Sealian said, dropping his bag near the door. “It’s not much.” He sounded both tired and embarrassed. He released his breath before rubbing his chest. Sensing his distress, Cerberus pressed her large head to his knee, rubbing her cheek against him, leaving a streak of hair all over his pants.

Valda hissed as she sat up, touching her flank in the process and allowing the bedsheet to drop to her lap. “Were you able to get everything you needed, though?”

“Yes.” His terse answer didn’t sit well with Valda. He sat down quietly, rubbing his eyebrows.

“Are you all right, Isen?”

He shook his head at first, but touched his chest again. “My mate is not feeling well, and I can’t do much about it.”

Oh. Trailing her hand to her own chest, Valda pressed her index and middle finger to her sternum, but she felt… nothing.

“I am going to sleep now,” Isen said with no room to argue. He stood off the chair and walked to the other bed. He gave his back to Valda, while Cerberus followed him. The large cat curled up into a ball right next to his bed.

Valda didn’t question him. He needed his space as much as she did and, to be fair, she wasn’t exactly being easy. She lay on her back, staring up at the wooden ceiling. She needed to rest before they could head out, but sleep had become a double-edged sword that could either harm or help her.

All Valda wanted was to see Maris, and within the yearning, it was as if Valda could materialize her in her dreams.

Formed out of a drop of water itself, Maris grabbed her hand and pulled her into a dance resembling the last one they shared back in New Agenor’s square. She could see the flowing edges of her tunic moving as she did around the large fire.

This dream was a memory, a reminder of what Maris looked like when surrounded by what she loved and cared for. Valda painted the image of Maris in her brain, etching it into the corners of her mind, never to be erased.

As Maris pulled her into the crowd of dancing, young Sealians, Valda took in how her mouth curved, the subtle dimple on one side of her face, and how her nose scrunched. Her eyes were thin slits as her cheeks rose with a burst of upcoming laughter.

Valda would fight a million battles, get stabbed a thousand times, and die a hundred more to keep the smile painted on Maris’s beautiful face. She would drown in the deepest sea if it meant she got to run her fingers through Maris’s ocean blue hair once more. She would swim in the river Styx, lose her very soul if she were to be promised she could kiss Maris one last time…

The dream consumed her. As Maris twirled in her arms, pulling her into a gentle kiss, the fire pit behind her lover dimmed. The surrounding couples vanished, crumbling around Valda like broken stones.

Maris’s smile, which was pressed against her lips, slowly disappeared, and the coldness in Valda’s chest came back.

As Maris pulled back, a snarl of disgust spread over her perfect little mouth. Now Maris stood before Valda, arms crossed over her chest, distant as the darkness swallowed her until there was nothing but the same blackness suffocating Valda.

The blindness was back, and the visions weren’t a dream.

It was a nightmare.

And she had to wake up before it consumed her .

Valda sat up on the hard bed, drenched in sweat, her cheeks wet with tears. She wiped them away with a burning, nauseating fury. Then she looked down at her hands. Isen slept soundly in the bed next to her on the other side of the room, shirtless and looking uncomfortable. The sheet he’d wrapped himself in was long forgotten on the floor.

Standing up, Valda touched her flank. New and clean bandages had replaced the bloody ones she had worn upon arrival at the tavern and inn. Isen probably woke up and cleaned them up as she slept. This man was giving up so much, and she was giving him such a hard time.

Walking towards him, she noticed the worried frown permeated on his brow. She felt her own frown forming in her visage. Valda grabbed the sheet from the ground and covered his torso before sitting back down on her bed.

Feeling the dip of the bed and the harsh press of a furry head, Valda acknowledged Cerberus’ presence with a chin scratch. The animal’s purrs vibrated on her fingertips, and she smiled.

“I miss her too, girl,” Valda whispered, only for Cerberus to hear. “I miss her so much I can barely breathe.” She bit her lip to stop a sob from escaping. “But I will not abandon her. I will try to find her, even if it is in my dreams, even if I have to beg Morpheus to allow me to have her.”