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“ W e need to stop.”

Isen let out an annoyed sigh as he pulled on the reins and turned to look at Valda. “Again? This is the fourth time in less than two hours. You need to find a way to control this.”

Valda lifted her gaze to Isen. “Did I stutter?” Before Isen could answer, Valda jumped off the horse, braced herself on her knees, and soiled the ground with her breakfast.

“Withdrawal,” Isen murmured, keeping his back to Valda as she coughed and hacked. “I told Your Highness you were going to get sick. Also, moving on that horse will make it worse.”

“Shut it.” Valda spat and wiped her lower lip with the back of her hand before standing upright.

She grabbed the horse’s reins, ignoring Cerberus’ uninterested eyes on her. The cat was snug inside a backpack, safely attached to the saddle. Valda had made sure her dear pet didn’t bounce as much. The cat yawned before licking her whiskers. Valda grimaced, taking slow steps that sent jolts of burning pain through her. She shouldn’t have left the comfort of Lasmeer’s house in such a hurry. Isen was right when he said she wasn’t ready to travel, yet the need to do something rather than sit down and mope was motivation enough to get her off the bed and on a horse .

Now, she was puking her insides out, as if her body was punishing her for being away from Maris. She breathed out, dizzy and nauseous. She had already puked four times. Everything was sore…

Was Maris feeling the same thing as she was? Was she suffering just as much? If she was, why wouldn’t she just come back? Gods, Valda would give anything to talk to her face to face, but she also would do anything Maris asked and if that meant giving the other woman space, she would do so, even if it meant her suffering.

Another mouthful of bile surfaced, and Valda vomited on the ground again. She rubbed her sour stomach before tilting her head enough to notice Isen giving her a condescending smile.

Valda brushed sweat-damped hair away from her forehead.

“I wish there was something I could do to help with the sickness, but unless Maris changes her mind about seeing you—”

“Maybe she changed her mind already. Maybe she wants to see me?”

Isen pursed his lips. “She was very specific about not wanting you near her. She needs space, and as her mate, you should accept her wishes, even if it means it will make you both sick.”

“I don’t want her to be sick.”

“I know you don’t.”

“I want to protect her.”

“Then protect her from yourself.”

Valda rubbed her face in annoyance before hooking her hand to her neck. A waterskin appeared before her. Isen had gotten off the horse and offered it to her with a tired nod. She grasped it, took the lid off, and drank.

“We cannot stay out in the open like this,” Isen said.

“Umbriel is far away.”

“That’s if we find what we are looking for at the border. If not, our trip could turn into a twelve-hour journey. You remember how enormous and unforgiving the desert is. Your body will not stand a ride as long as that one in this heat. I need to check your wounds, and I need to reapply the salve.”

“I need to get to Umbriel.”

“You need to stay alive, Your Highness.”

Isen’s words were final, and Valda couldn’t control the warning growl that escaped her chest. “You are running your mouth a lot. ”

“Maybe.” He pushed the waterskin to her chest when she attempted to give it back to him. “We are an hour away from Cressida City. If we head there now, we can stop at the inn and gather ourselves. We can get something to eat, some clothes and equipment, and then we can set out to Umbriel the next day.”

Valda nodded as she swallowed a mouthful of water. “Fine. You lead, for now.”

Isen patted her shoulder a little too hard, making Valda grunt in pain. “Let’s get going then. Try not to puke again.”

Grabbing the saddle horn, Valda struggled to pull herself up. She also made a conscious effort not to kick poor Cerberus, though she’d already done so more than once. Valda was certain her pet would bite her ankles by the end of the night. She straightened her back, biting her lower lip as if it would prevent her from showing weakness. She felt worse than the first time she woke up blind in her room… At least she had Maris back then.

“You know there are other ways to help your dilemma.” Isen pulled her away from her self-loathing. He clicked his tongue and pressed his heel to the horse’s flank to get going. “You are not completely cut off from her.”

Valda was too busy looking for a way to sit up to ease her pain to understand what Isen was saying. “What do you mean?”

“You can communicate through the bond. It is hard at first, but once you get the hang of it, you can both know how the other is doing. It requires a certain degree of openness and—”

“I am open, but she is blocking me. I am sure she can feel how fucking angry I am,” Valda snapped, as she guided her horse to gallop next to Isen’s.

“Sure. Of course, maybe that’s not the emotion she wants to feel coming from you.”

“I used to feel her just fine, Isen.”

“Huh. Strange. I’ve never been cut off by Melvian, even in our worst fights.” Isen said and rubbed his chest as he closed his eyes. “Melvian is tired, nervous.”

“Nervous? Are they in danger?” Valda moved her hand to the Heaven Sword dangling from her belt.

“No. She is not in danger because she is not scared. She is nervous probably because she will arrive soon in New Agenor. My sister wasn’t welcoming when I presented her as my mate.” Isen paused. “She is also hungry and angry about it.”

“Good for you,” Valda scoffed with envy. “You’ve been mated longer than I have, I presume?”

“Not that long. I am no expert—”

“You sound like one,” Valda said, her upper lip twitching in annoyance. “I don’t hide from Maris.”

“Then you should have no problem communicating.” He paused and narrowed his eyes. “What is she feeling right now?”

“I told you she is blocking me.”

“Try harder, Your Highness.”

Valda’s grip on the horse’s reins tightened. She took a deep, slow breath, tried to ignore the pounding pain in her body, and closed her eyes. Her body swayed with every gallop. She held her breath before exhaling slowly. The tug at her chest was weak, but it was there. She concentrated on the soft draw, as if pulling Maris’s sleeve like she was a lost child. Maris didn’t answer; she felt her jerk away from Valda. She could almost imagine Maris looking back at her before turning her attention to whatever she was doing.

Valda found Isen looking at her. She felt ashamed because she couldn’t tell what Maris was feeling. She didn’t even know how to put it into words. Valda swallowed hard, and she pressed her lips into a fine line as she tried to get herself back in order.

“Well?” Isen asked.

“All I feel is anger coming from her.” Valda tried so hard not to spill her tears, but the feeling coursing through her was something she had never experienced before.

Valda felt abandoned by her own mate.

“That is a good thing!”

“How is feeling only anger from her a good thing, Isen?”

“Because you are feeling something! At least she is not completely shut off, besides it is understandable. You can’t blame her.”

“I can’t… but it hurt that she simply shut me out without letting me explain.”

Isen nodded. “Sometimes it is wise to give someone space before throwing all your reasons and apologies at them. I am sure she will come around. After all, you two have overcome obstacles beyond reckoning to be together. Imagine finding your mate after years of thinking she was dead, and not only that, falling for her regardless of knowing if she was the one or not.” Isen scoffed. “You are lucky, and I am sure Maris just needs time to understand her own feelings before she shares them with you.”

“I don’t think I have the patience, Isen.”

“You will have to. There is no other way.”

Valda bit the inside of her cheek. The soft sway of her horse didn’t upset her stomach, which she was grateful for, yet her chest still felt heavy, she still missed Maris …

As if sensing her discomfort, Cerberus escaped from the backpack she was tucked in and moved to lie on her lap. Valda welcomed her presence with a soft scratch on her chin. The soft purrs were a welcome change, and it somehow calmed the need to puke again.

Frowning in confusion, Valda turned to Isen, who was currently peeling a fruit next to her.

“How come you are not sick too? You are away from your mate, and she is pregnant. I would think that would make your yearning worse.”

“I am sick. My chest is heavy as well and I feel extremely tired,” he said while offering Valda a piece of the fruit. “It is different for everyone, I suppose.”

“Do you… think Maris is sick like me?” Valda asked, taking the orange in her hand and staring at it before deciding it was better not to eat it and gave it back to Isen.

Isen shrugged. “I am not sure. I don’t know many mated couples that are not together. Eyphah had a heart mate and when her wife found her soulmate, well—” he scoffed and waved his hand. “It was horrible. I would’ve thought she was actually going through one of those sicknesses.” Isen smiled and offered the orange again. “You must eat, Your Highness.”

Valda rolled her eyes at the mention of Eyphah. She didn’t like her, and knowing that she had access to Maris whenever she wanted without her being around didn’t sit well with Valda. Her stomach turned again, and she willed the need to puke away as much as she could.

She grabbed half of the orange again, pulling a piece and popping it in her mouth.

“If it makes you feel better, you can always try to talk to her in your dreams.”

Isen’s words did not alleviate her heavy heart. Valda hunched over the saddle horn, finding it to be the most comfortable she could be with her wounds. She looked pathetic, but it would have to do for the time being.

***

Cressida City was completely different from Ophelia. Ophelia was a center for economic activity, always buzzing with life and busy with merchants and eateries, whereas Cressida wasn’t. The city wasn’t in ruins. Not one city in the Sky Kingdom was, but Cressida was a slow city with slow living.

Before Valda and Isen arrived, they walked through the less populated streets. They kept their faces covered with dark cloths. Only their eyes were visible to the strangers around them, which wasn’t something odd to the people living there. Many travelers covered their faces to prevent sunburn. Isen had wanted to keep their identities hidden for as long as they could.

They stopped at the city tavern and inn. They left the horses with a young man, who took them to the stables as they walked in. Cerberus jumped on Valda’s shoulder, keeping her neck warm as they looked around the inn.

“I am going to get us a room for the night, and some food,” Isen said, pulling the piece of cloth down to his neck, his blue hair hidden from any prying eyes. “I will ask them to bring the food upstairs.”

“No.” Valda shook her head and grabbed his arm. “We should eat here.”

“Are you sure? We could be seen.”

“I am sure.”

Valda walked to a dark corner. She sat near the bar, where a group of men drank and laughed loudly. Cerberus jumped from her shoulder, balling up her feet, while Valda watched Isen stop a young barmaid. He spoke to her politely, then pointed in Valda’s direction. He held two fingers to the server, who smiled and nodded at him, obviously transfixed by his handsome looks. He moved his hands to his belt, taking a couple of golden coins, but the woman shook her head and patted his hand. Isen touched his chest, bowed to the maid, and then walked to Valda with a prideful grin.

“I got us the best room in the inn and free food,” Isen chuckled and patted Valda’s knees under the table. “I hope you like lamb stew, Your Highness.”

“I fucking love lamb stew,” Valda answered back, laughing before removing the cloth from her face enough to be comfortable.

“Once I get you settled upstairs, I will head out and buy us some supplies. I am going to need more salve and clothing. Rations for the road and a new waterskin.”

“Sounds good,” Valda said, as the young maid brought their drinks. She settled two large pitchers of ginger beer on the table, winked at Isen, and left.

“She likes you,” Valda mumbled.

“I like the fact she brought us free drinks.” Isen didn’t waste a second, grabbing the pitcher and drinking.

“She will ask for something in return.”

“She can ask all she wants; I am not giving her anything.”

“Fair enough,” Valda chuckled and turned her attention to the three men at the bar .

They didn’t seem like soldiers. They appeared young and tired. Valda determined they were city workers who wanted a drink before heading home. They spoke about their bosses, their spouses, and how delicious the lamb stew was.

She felt Isen’s gaze on her, and she momentarily turned to him when she took a sip from her beer. He jerked his chin towards the men and asked, “Collecting information?”

“Drunk men always talk,” Valda whispered, her head slanting to the side, paying close attention to what they said. Another maid moved over to the bar area, picked up the men’s empty cups, and turned to fill them again.

Suddenly, Valda heard just what she was hoping for.

“Did you hear? A girl who used to work here is now wanted for treason.”

“Treason? What for?”

Valda turned to Isen with a questioning look.

“Tartarus, I know! I thought all Sealians were sucking at the kingdom’s teats and using resources. There is no way any of them would be a traitor.”

Valda tensed. Sealians ?

“She was a bit of a troublemaker. I have a friend in the army, and she started a fight with him. Him! A soldier! Can you believe that?”

One man scoffed and shook his head before waving his hand at the server. “‘Ey! What was the name of that barmaid? I am sure you should know.”

“The only Sealian who worked here recently was the Maris girl,” the server answered, placing three glasses of ginger beer on the table for the men.

Valda’s eyes grew as wide as saucers, and Isen gave her a warning look. She shouldn’t draw attention to herself now.

“Why in the world would a girl like her be seen as a traitor? I don’t get it.”

“I have no idea, but I heard Queen Valda is still alive after all this. My soldier friends said a group of castle soldiers have run away from Arwin’s hold.”

“What? They fled?”

“I mean, wouldn’t you? The man is mad. He killed so many people all because they denied him as king. Queen Valda wouldn’t have done that.”

“Nah, she just killed the Vulcanian King for no reason other than a hunch. I understand she is pissed her mother was probably assassinated by that asshole, but what proof did she have?”

The man closest to Valda and Isen let out a loud sigh and rubbed his red face. “But where would those soldiers go? They are now wanted. ”

“My friend told me some are fleeing to Umbriel, but he also said a large portion was hiding in Titania. The city is too big and the closest to the desert, it would be impossible for Arwin to find everyone unless, of course, people rat them out.”

“I still wonder what the Sealian barmaid got to do with anything?”

The tavern maiden laughed and looked at the man who had first asked about Maris’s name. “Someone’s infatuated.”

“Oh, please. My wife would kill me. She just caught my attention, that’s all.”

“I am glad she is gone. Boy, was she a pain in the ass. She was always complaining when the boss gave her late shifts.” The tavern maiden mumbled while heat rose through Valda. How dare this woman talk about Maris in such a way?

Isen grabbed her forearm and gave it a firm squeeze. He shook his head in silent warning.

“She might have been a pain, but, man, did she have a fine ass. I always wished she would walk past me so I could take a nice peek at it.”

Isen’s hand moved to Valda’s neck as she stood from the table. The chair behind her fell, clattering loudly as it hit the floor, causing Cerberus to jump to the bar’s counter, knocking the men’s drink. After the clattering, loud curses and scraping of stools subsided, the tavern grew quiet. The three men and server turned to look at Valda.

“Animals are not allowed in the tavern,” the tavern maiden said, eyeing Isen and then Cerberus.

“Yes, of course.” Isen reached for Cerberus, grabbing her by the scruff.

Growling, Cerberus scratched Isen’s hand and jumped away from his grasp, bolting under the table he shared with Valda. Giving the barmaid an apologetic grin, Isen said, “Can you please bring the food to our room?”

The server did not talk. She nodded, wiped her hand with her apron, and walked to the kitchen.

“Follow me, friend .” Isen gritted his teeth before pulling Valda by her arm and up the stairs. Cerberus followed them close behind.

Once inside the small room, Isen turned to Valda, his voice low, “Your Highness, you need to control yourself. You need to understand, we cannot complicate this more than it already is. I understand what you are feeling, but really, how can fighting someone talking about Maris solve anything?”

“I am not responsible for what my cat does, Isen. ”

“You know what I am talking about!” Isen replied, pulling the scarf from his head and allowing his long hair to be free. He gripped his curls in frustration as he paced in the middle of the room. “I left my mate, my pregnant mate, for this. For you! And I swear if I am going to die, I will die an honorable death, not because you couldn’t keep your cool.”

“If it was for me, we would’ve done so much differently.”

“Really, Your Highness? How? Waltz into the castle with a handful of soldiers and hope for the best?”

“Sounds like a good idea. Much better than hiding.”

“We are not hiding. We are recouping. And again, with all due respect, you walked into the castle with your mate and almost lost your life and hers. I think maybe we should change tactics.”

Valda scoffed, then pressed her hand over the wound on her flank. Her agitation was not working in her favor; her temper tantrum was beginning to hurt. “You think going around hiding as scoundrels will help us?”

“You see, this is why some people out there believe Arwin is a better ruler than you. He premeditates every single thing he does, waits for the right time and doesn’t make harsh decisions as you do!” As soon as the words left Isen’s mouth, his face twisted with regret. He let out a sigh and rubbed his temples with the meat of his palms.

“I am imprudent?” Valda’s head slanted as she moved threateningly closer to Isen.

“You said it, not me.” Isen’s eyes lingered on the ground as he thought his words over.

“I should kill you for such an insult…” Valda leaned over him. Even if she was hunching slightly, her frame was still as prominent and taut as his.

“Kill me, and then you are really alone.”

Valda blinked, surprised by Isen’s sudden answer. She took a step back, and they gave each other some needed personal space. She walked to the large bed and sat in its corner, interrupting Cerberus’ bath. She tried to hide the pained groan, but the way Isen’s eyes narrowed on her, she knew he had noticed the pain she was in.

“Your Highness,” Isen began, his voice lowering until it was a whisper. “Forgive me for the way I’ve been talking.”

Valda had nothing to say.

Closing his eyes tightly, Isen opened his mouth to talk, but quickly closed it. He gritted his teeth, his hands forming fists next to him.

“Speak your mind, Hurley… ”

“I know you are battling your own problems, but so am I,” Isen began. “Do you think I wanted to leave my mate in New Agenor?”

“I am sure you did not, just as I didn’t want to leave mine.”

“I know how bad New Agenor is. I know how broken it is, how horrible life there was.” Rubbing his tattoo, he sat down next to Valda. “I was a coward and decided to leave before I got sucked into being the guard at the entrance.”

Valda scoffed. “That’s Cai’s job now.”

“I know… and I regret leaving, but if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have met Melvian…”

Valda tilted her head enough to look at Isen with the corner of her eyes. “What are you saying?”

“All these horrible things have happened in my life. The disaster in the Sea Kingdom forced me to come to the Sky Kingdom with my mother and sister. The death of my mother just as we arrived in Skylian shore. This war happening… I would like to think they all aligned because there is something better, something worth sacrificing my time with my mate.”

He shook his head and pressed his fingers to his sternum. “If I am being honest, Your Highness and a bit… crude,” he chuckled. “That young woman at the bar was beautiful, but all I could think of was Melvian and how much I want to be buried deep inside her instead of…” He scoffed and waved his hand around him. “Doing this.”

“Fucking your mate is more important than the kingdom?” Valda asked.

Isen turned completely to face her. He arched a blue brow at her, and she rolled her eyes. “I think I know what you'd rather be doing. Do you want to be hiding and recouping in an inn, or pressed to the warmth of your mate?”

Valda didn’t answer right away. She took Isen’s features in before looking elsewhere. “You are absolutely right.”

“Again, I apologize. I don’t want you to think that I want to leave. Well… I do, but it’s not because of you.”

“Apology accepted, but don’t raise your voice at me again,” Valda said, stretching her hand to him.

Isen’s lip curled into a soft smile as he shook her hand.

“Get us our supplies and come back. You also need to rest,” Valda said, patting his back.

Isen stood, bowed low, and silently left the room, his footsteps heavy as he walked away from the room and down the stairs .

Valda huffed and closed her eyes, the strain on her back egging her to rest. She wanted to stay awake, but her body needed sleep and although the bed was hard, it was comfortable enough. Pushing Cerberus to a corner, she lay on her stomach, as Isen had recommended, momentarily relieving the strain of the stitches.

It wasn’t until Cerberus walked up beside her that Valda realized she was teetering between consciousness and sleep. The warmth of her pet pressed against her side eased the nausea from her sickness, and at last, she found solace in sleep.