Page 40 of The Spirit of Love

“We could see if it still works?” I rise on my toes and press my lips to his, feeling the synergy between us swell with heat. Sam moans, or I moan. His hands on my back are such a vast, deep turn-on that I’d go to bed with Jude right now.

I stiffen, realizing my brain just trip-wired. Sam . Sam is the one I’m kissing. Sam is the one turning me on enough to make me want to take him to bed.

Jude is far away, asking me to get my act together. Telling me that kiss last night was more than a kiss.

Sam very gently pulls away from me. “You okay?” he murmurs against my neck. “You still here?”

“I’m here,” I breathe.

He tips his head toward the door of his cabin. “Will you come inside? It’ll make my decade.”

I smile and tug him toward the door. This is going to get easy. Look how gorgeous he is. Look how happy he is to see me.

Inside, Sam’s wondrous cabin smells familiar—hickory, cloves…

and a hint of something savory cooking. It feels like time stands still here.

Everything is just as it was when I left, down to the placement of the logs in the carved Blake-inspired fireplace and the geometric heirloom quilt folded over the back of the couch.

“I like what you’ve done to the place,” I say.

“Really? Oh, you mean, because it’s the same?”

“If it ain’t broke…”

“It’s so crazy that you’re here—”

“Is that”—I sniff the air—“boeuf bourguignon on the stove?” My eyes widen, and I would laugh except my mouth is already watering.

“It ain’t broke!” Sam says, heading to his custom bar. “Highball?”

“You remembered.”

“Shoot, I’m out of honey,” he says, rummaging through the bar.

“You were out of honey last time, too,” I remind him. “It was still just right.”

He hands me a drink, then clinks his glass to mine. “Cheers! Hey, I have incredible news for you.”

“Really?” I’m surprised. “In addition to this cocktail?”

“After you left,” Sam calls from across the room where he’s facing his bookshelf. “I found your camera.”

“My Panasonic AG-DVC30?” I practically shout as Sam puts my first, best video camera back in my hands.

It’s salt-stained and probably ruined, but I don’t care.

I close my eyes and let a tear squeeze out.

I’m so glad I came back. I’m so glad he found it.

He saved it for me. “Where did you…how did you…”

“I found it on the beach,” he says. “I kept it over there with your viewfinder thing. My mementos.”

I touch the adder stone. “I still wear this every day.”

He smiles. “Camera still works, I think. It’s kind of a miracle, right? I tested it out. Filmed some dumb stuff.” His voice lowers a little. “I didn’t think you’d come back, but that shows what I know!”

“Thank you,” I say, hugging the camcorder to me. “You were born to Search and Rescue.”

“Just let me delete what I filmed,” Sam says and takes the camera. He furrows his brow and fiddles with the controls.

“You don’t need to erase anything,” I say, curious.

“I can’t figure out how to anyway.” He sighs and hands it back to me. “Don’t judge.”

“Oh, I’ll judge,” I say. “That’s how I repay kindness.”

Sam laughs. “So the stew won’t be ready for a bit…

. Do you want to go for a hike? Or we could swim—the water’s still warm enough.

Do you want to do the zip line again? If you’re bored with all that, just tell me.

I could also take you to a part of the island you’ve never seen before. We can have a totally new adventure—”

“Sam?”

“Yes?”

“I want all that. Soon. But first, I’m conducting an experiment. Can you help?”

“You’re asking a man who signed an oath to assist anyone in need on this island.”

“That’s what I thought.” I lift my dress over my head and toss it to the floor. I’m not wearing anything under it.

Sam gets down on his knees. “I can help,” he says, pressing his mouth against me. “I’ve been certified in this.”

After the sun has set and we’ve disentangled our limbs briefly for a steaming bowl of stew, Sam and I lay in his bed as his fingers draw pictures of Catalina flora and fauna on the bare skin of my back.

“So when do we get the results of your experiment?”

“They’ve just come in. It turns out, I wasn’t imagining the bone bliss your body gives me.”

“I could have told you that,” he says and kisses the top of my head. “Let’s get up early tomorrow morning. We can still go on a hike before sunrise and then we can come back here and I can survey your bones again for any absent bliss before breakfast. Also after breakfast. And maybe mid-hike, too.”

“Good plan.” I roll over to face him and smile. “And I have an idea for something fun we could do after breakfast.”

“More sex?”

“What if we headed to town? Did you get your Jeep fixed yet?”

“That Jeep is totaled, Fenny.”

“Did you get a new car?”

He sits up in bed a little straighter, drawing a few inches away. It isn’t much, but it’s noticeable. Have I said something that upset him?

“I’m still trying to work out the specifics of some things since the accident.”

It’s been a month and he still doesn’t have a car. How has he been getting around?

“But you have a bike, right? I thought I saw one in your shed the last time I was here.”

“Yeah, I have a bike.”

“Great. I borrowed one for this weekend, too. If you want…I have some friends here from LA. We all came over together. They’ll be hanging out at the Harbor Reef for brunch tomorrow. Around eleven?”

He raises an eyebrow, as if trying to figure out where I’m going with this.

“It could be cool if we…”

I trail off. I don’t know why I’m having trouble telling him that I’ve already committed to meeting Olivia and Masha tomorrow.

It was Masha’s condition for letting me take the bike, as opposed to the drop-off committee.

She said she needed proof of life in the dead zone of island cell reception.

Which now seems silly, because of course I’m safe here with Sam, but I don’t want to explain Masha’s reasoning to him.

Especially because he seems suddenly a little withdrawn.

“Sam?”

“I’m sorry. I can’t.”

“Can’t…what?”

“Go to Two Harbors. I don’t go there.”

“The whole town? The only town in this entire vicinity? You don’t go there?”

“Correct.”

I laugh. “Why not?”

“I don’t really want to get into it.”

“Okay…well, we don’t have to go into town. My friends are staying on a yacht. We could go to the yacht club and hang out with them there. Just for a little while. You look like you hate this idea. But I want you to meet them. I want them to meet you.”

“Why?”

“Why would you ask why? Because I like you. It’s not a strange request.”

“I like you, too. I like this”—he gestures between us in the bed—“very much. As far as I’m concerned, there’s no need to muddy the waters with anything else.”

I flinch, stunned by the harshness of his words. “I don’t consider meeting my friends muddying any waters. They’re part of my life.”

“Look, I want to be the kind of guy who says yes to this, but I’m just not.” Sam’s tone hasn’t changed. He says these words with such warmth that it doesn’t feel like he’s being an asshole. I feel like I’m missing some vital piece of information.

So I keep probing.

“I tried new things for you,” I remind him. “I said yes to a zip line and spearfishing and sex on the beach, all of which are distinctly out of character for me, and all of which paid major dividends. What if you say yes to me? To this? You might surprise yourself.”

“I’m sorry,” he says and shakes his head.

“Really?” I say, feeling myself growing annoyed. “You won’t even entertain the idea?”

“I know my limits.”

“Maybe they’re due to be stretched?”

“Some people change. I don’t. I won’t.”

I scoff. “I’m not asking you to quit smoking or resume a relationship with an estranged relative.

I’m asking for fifteen minutes of your time to say hi to some people I care about.

People who care enough about me to be worried that I came all the way out here to spend a secluded weekend with a guy I barely know! ”

“I didn’t think we’d get to this point so quickly,” he says with a sigh. “I was hoping for more time.”

“Real question: Are you always this rigid with the women you date?”

He doesn’t answer.

“Oh. It’s just me.”

“Fenny, it’s not you. It’s definitely not you. It’s me.”

“Ugh,” I groan. “It’s a known fact you can’t use that phrase unironically after Seinfeld . But don’t worry, I can give you a quick tutorial on the newfangled misogynistic phrases cool guys like you are using on the mainland.”

“I’m actually telling the truth,” Sam says.

It’s too dark to take off on my bike back to the yacht club, so I roll over onto my side. “Good night, Sam. I hope you have a static, totally inflexible rest.”