Page 61

Even My Sister

Reven says nothing as we walk. Not until I yawn, anyway, and he raises his eyebrows. “Exhaustion will only make it harder for you to control them,” he says.

So the Shadows are why he’s with me now. Disappointment settles in my gut.

To cover my reaction, I grimace. “Sorry, but I’ve been going nonstop.” And worrying nonstop. And reliving the last few days nonstop. And questioning myself nonstop. “I’m tired .”

“You should rest more.”

I open my mouth to point out that I fell into a decent sleep for the first time just a few hours ago only to be woken up because of him and then Vos. That sounds petty in my head. Seven hells, it is petty. Maybe I really am the problem, the sickness inside me getting worse. “I’ll go back to bed after I check on Tabra.”

She’s been sleeping on and off since yesterday, but mostly on, recovering from using her power against Eidolon, or trying to.

I knock softly.

“Come in,” Achlys calls.

Stepping into this room is like being hit with a hundred different memories—mostly the recent one of my months pretending to be Tabra at Eidolon’s side. Pretending to be under his thrall. That and Reven showing up to help me escape.

I glance at his face, the way his gaze is skating over the room. Does he recognize this place? Does he remember?

He turns his head, and when he finds me watching, cocks his head in question.

Guess not.

I wave it off. What would I ask? Remember when I kissed your face off after you finally showed up and then we hid in the secret room? I’m going to drive myself off a ledge second- guessing him every minute of the day.

Pinning a smile to my face, I leave him standing near the columns that lead out to the private balcony, the sheer curtains drifting in and out on a hot breeze. As I approach the massive bed, I can see Tabra’s eyes are closed. Achlys sits at her bedside, holding her hand.

She puts a finger up to her lips and beckons me around to where she is.

Obviously. “How is she?”

Achlys glances at Tabra’s peaceful face with a frown. “She woke up crying, still fighting Eidolon in her dreams, I think.”

“Do you think she’ll be ready?”

Allusian said we had five days. I’m not sure of the exact hour, but I’m counting yesterday as one. Today is two. That means the Celestial Alignment is three days from now.

We both need to be ready, but especially her.

I don’t miss the way Achlys’s turns her head, no doubt studying me. I’ve filled her in on Allusian’s instructions, too, but maybe someone has also told her about me. Or does she think my question is unfeeling?

I don’t hide my sigh. “I hate that I have to ask her to be ready. I wish I could let her sleep peacefully and wake up when it’s all over.”

“Me, too.” The way she visibly relaxes sends irritation itching under my skin. No wonder Reven used to be so grumpy, constantly having fear aimed his way and needing to prove himself and earn trust. Worse because he didn’t trust himself, which is where I am now.

I study Achlys’s face from the side. It’s not that she looks bad, exactly. But not great either. “How are you holding up?”

She blinks at me, then grimaces. “She didn’t sleep well.”

In other words, Achlys didn’t sleep well, either.

“Have you been brought food, water?”

“Everything I need has been provided, dom—” She cuts herself off.

I give her a teasing grin. “It’s a good thing you didn’t finish that, or we would have had words.”

Achlys chuckles. “Honestly, I’m not sure what to call you now.”

Now that she’s not merely a handmaid, but is the publicly acknowledged lover of my sister, the queen? “I can see how that would be tricky, but we’re friends and maybe one day sisters through marriage. You love Tabra, and that’s all I need to know. Call me Meren. Always. No queen, or princess, no domina. Just Meren. Okay?”

After a second, she huffs a laugh that sounds a little like disbelief. Like she doesn’t quite know how she ended up here. Then, “I will…Meren.”

We both settle our gazes on Tabra again. “Do you want me to stay with her while you get some air, stretch your legs, maybe take a nap?” I ask.

The way the lingering smile sort of stiffens on Achlys’s lips, I don’t have to see the wariness in her eyes to know what her answer will be, even before she says, “No, that’s all right.”

I swallow the sting of hurt down a throat gone tight. If I was at Reven’s bedside, I wouldn’t want someone full of Eidolon’s Shadows near him, either.

Tabra gives a tiny cough, and we both look at her. “Meren?” she asks without opening her eyes.

“I’m here, Sissy.”

She whimpers. “Eidolon. He came—”

We’ve already had this conversation, but she must not remember. I squeeze her leg through the thin sheet. “I know. You fought him off. You’re safe and I’m so proud of you.”

Her eyelids flutter and she’s clearly having trouble rousing herself fully from sleep. I pat her now. “Rest. I’ll come back after you wake up.”

I glance at Achlys, who nods, then move back around the bed to where Reven has been standing and watching all this time. He waves for me to go ahead, but I only get halfway to the door when Tabra speaks again. Louder this time. “Who is that?”

“Who?” Achlys asks. “You mean Reven?”

“No. The person with him.”

What?

Tabra levers up shakily onto her elbows, squinting at us.

“Do you see someone else there?” Achlys asks her slowly.

I glance around me. Did Eidolon leave a ghost of his past self in this palace to haunt us or something?

Impatience interrupts the wariness etched across Tabra’s beetled brows and searching gaze. “There.” She points. “Right next to Reven.”

There’s only one person it could be, but it makes no sense. I point at myself.

“Yes, you,” she says, voice turning belligerent. “I’m talking to you.”

Beside me, Reven’s body grows tenser, his shoulders pulling back.

“Tabra,” I say gently. “It’s me.”

My sister scoots back slightly. “I don’t know you.”

Achlys takes her hand. “That’s Meren,” she says. “That’s your sister.”

Tabra scoots back so hard that she smacks her head against the headboard. “No. That’s not my sister.”

“Tabra, it’s me. It’s Mer—”

“Stop it!” she shouts. Then she throws a pillow at me. My sister. Who loves me. Who would cry if she accidentally squished a plague scorpion. She throws a pillow at me. “Get out!”

“Tabra!” I start toward her. “It’s me . It’s Meren.”

She scrambles out of the bed, dragging Achlys with her, tucking her behind herself, hair bedraggled around her head, painful fear written across her features. She raises her hand, which ignites in a purple glow. “I don’t know what you are but get out of my room.”

A sensation strikes in my chest. Not like something hit me from the outside, like something is trying to break through my rib cage to get out. I make a strangled sound, and then Reven’s arms are around me and we shadow away.