Page 12

Follow Her

I come to still on the ground surrounded by trampled grasses, my body so cold I’m shaking and my teeth are chattering. I frown.

Wait. I’m not dead?

“Maybe this is the hells,” a Shadow whispers.

Beside me, Cain sucks in a breath so sharp, it sounds like it hurts. The way he’s gripping my hand definitely does, but I don’t protest. I need the way he’s grounding me.

Scoria stands over us.

“It didn’t work,” I croak.

She sort of shakes her head. Why not, though? I can’t tell anything from her expression. I look to Cain, who has gone a shade of pale that should be impossible with skin the shade of bronze his is.

I struggle to sit up just enough to see our friends. Pella is looking away. Horus’s bow is trained on me. Slowly, warily, Cain pulls gently on my hand to help me. He doesn’t let go once I’m upright, searching my face.

“You’re back,” he says.

I frown. Back? “Was I gone?”

“Not exactly,” Vos says slowly, not taking his gaze off me.

“What?”

Cain tugs me closer and wraps his arms around me, taking a deep breath. “The Shadows took over.”

His words hit like he took a sledgehammer to my sternum. I go very still against him and take a closer look at my friends. I know we just dealt with Aesthetus and Mimick, but they look…worse.

Cain has a bloody gash in his thigh that’s seeping through his pants. Pella’s shirt is torn, and Horus is listing to one side like he can’t quite put all his weight on one foot. Vos is standing a few yards away, wrapping what looks like wide blades of grass around his forearm. All four of them are bleeding from their noses and ears. The metallic taste in my mouth finally penetrates through the haze I’m in and I lift a hand to my face to find I’m in the same shape.

“Tziah stopped y—” Cain pulls back to look at me with a pained face. “Stopped them.”

“Bitch,” one of the voices snarls.

Cain grimaces. “They tried to shadow you away from Scoria, but she was able to stop them. When we pinned you down, they came after us.”

I attacked my friends? I know I didn’t personally, but they had to fight my body while the Shadows used it to—

“No.” The word is a mere wisp of sound.

Goddess, my nightmares just came true. All my worries.

“I couldn’t get them out of you,” Scoria whispers, and her voice is raw.

Despair washes over me. I’ve been changing since Reven put Eidolon’s Shadows inside me. I’ve buried the growing realization with the rest of my fears. Refused to accept it. It’s only been in small ways so far. Random thoughts. Bursts of anger that are unlike me. Will it only get worse the longer I contain them?

Bile sears up my throat like even my fear is trying to escape the evil inside me. I swallow it down. I can’t do this. I’m not strong like Reven thought. I can’t…

“Kill me,” I say in a voice stronger than I expect.

Cain’s arms tighten around me reflexively.

“Meren.” Horus’s voice is raw.

“Kill me.” I’m begging now. Scoria is the only one who can. “It’s the only way to stop them.”

She turns away from me. “They won’t let me.”

Which means she tried.

I never thought I was someone who gave up easily. Turns out I was wrong. I pull away from Cain and wrap my arms around my knees. No tears. No more begging. Just defeat.

A soft hand smooths over my hair and I don’t have to look to know Tziah is beside me. I drop my forehead to my knees. I can’t bear to have her see me unravel like this. Have any of them see.

“ Pathetic little princess ,” the Shadows sneers.

“Enough,” Scoria snaps.

Then…silence. More than silence. Peace.

I frown.

“I can’t feel them.” I look up at Scoria. “They’re quiet. They’re gone. I thought you said—”

“I trapped them inside you.”

“Trapped?” I thought they were already trapped. “What does that mean?”

“Maybe locked down is a better description. As Shadow, I may not be able to pull them out, but they are still souls, even in pieces the way they are. I have…some control.”

“Can you keep me from being taken over again?”

She pauses, then slowly shakes her head. “They’ll be quiet and still as long as I’m near you.”

“That’s something at least,” Cain says. But his voice is too cheerful. Too bright. He doesn’t believe it any more than I do.

“That’s like stopping a sand storm with a single shield,” I mutter. “It might keep the sand out of my eyes for a little bit, but I’ll still be buried when it’s over.” Scoria can’t stay with me forever.

“I can teach you more of this power that is not yours,” she says.

Exhaustion drags at me again, and various aches and pains are making themselves felt. I don’t know if they’re from fighting Mimick or my friends. Maybe that’s why I’m having trouble latching on to what she’s saying. “Teach?”

“I believe what you’ve told me. The truth is, I don’t handle souls in such large numbers.” Her lips twist in a rocky grimace. “And never souls that are made of shadow. But you clearly need help until we can remove them from you.”

A bitter laugh escapes me. “I guess it’s better than nothing.”

The rock giantess sighs. “I may not be able to get the Shadows out of you, but the ability to control darkness versus souls seems to have some similarities. Let me try to teach you.”

I lay my cheek on my arm, thinking about that. “We don’t have time.” The Celestial Alignment is soon. The way the sun and all three moons sit in our sky a certain way that day has something to do with this. One of Eidolon’s escaped ghosts told me in the desert that it meant something. We just don’t know what yet. “Eidolon is coming for me. He wants the amulets and his Shadows back.”

She tips her head, giving a slow blink, and I realize she doesn’t know what I’m saying.

I don’t have it in me to explain this. Not right now. Not after everything that’s just happened. “Cain?”

With a nod, he tells her. Everything.

When he’s done, she sighs again. “I see. In that case, you have no choice. Accept my help.”

“I told you—”

“You don’t have time. I understand.” She leans down. “I can help you. Would it not be better to face that with more control?”

It’s a sign of how little I believe her when anticipation doesn’t even so much as spark inside me. “Maybe a day or two.” I straighten, wincing at the pull of bruises all over my body. “One other thing…”

“Yes?”

“Can you teach my sister, too?” I’ve only been able to help her so much.

“Yes.” She glances at the sun, high in the skies and bright with it. “If I only have days, we had better get started.”