Page 25 of The Senator's Secret

“Don’t do that again.”

I should have been paying attention. If I was, maybe I would have heard Jake sneak up behind me, but I was too lost in my own misery to notice. So, when he barked his terse words at me, I nearly jumped out of me seat.

“Wh-what?” I ask. I shouldn’t have, but I do anyway. One day, I’ll learn to use my head around Jacob, but today isn’t the day, and tomorrow probably isn’t looking very good either.

“I said don’t do that again,” he growls as he boxes me in from behind.

“I don’t know what you mean.” I’m sure I do, but I’m going to save face and gain some ground with him if it kills me, which it probably will.

“I told you that I wanted your ass in my bed every night, and I will not repeat myself. Having to drag myself all the way across town to clean up someone else’s big fucking mess just as I’m about to finally get a taste of you didnotmake me happy,” he explains.

“You weren’t happy?” I’m so confused. I’m tired, and nothing is making sense this morning. To be honest, nothing has made sense for a while now.

“No,” he answers. “And then when I finally make it home, you’re locked away down the hall. But make no mistake that if you try that again, I’ll take the door off the fucking hinges.”

“You don’t mean that.” He can’t. This is crazy talk. He acts like he wants me, but he can’t. I don’t understand.

“I do.”

“But… why?” I ask as I look over my shoulder at him. It’s the first time he’s gotten a good look at my face this morning, and by the audible way he sucks in his breath, my dab hand at makeup hasn’t covered up much and I still look terrible.

“Honey—” he starts.

“No,” I whisper. “I need you to answer my question. Why do you want me?”

“I just do.”

“But you could have anyone,” I say, feeling my frustration mount.

“I could,” he agrees softly as he pulls my chair out and scoops me up into his arms before he takes my seat, planting me in his lap. “But I want you.”

“I just don’t understand,” I say, and a look that I don’t understand passes behind his eyes for a split second before it’s gone again. I hate this. I hate who I become when I’m around him. This isn’t me. I’m not some weak person—ever—and suddenly, after one night under his roof I’m feeling needy and insecure. I don’t ever need anyone to reassure me of my self-worth because I know that I am a badass, but this woman is so far from badass it isn’t even funny. I knew this was going to happen, I just didn’t realize that the transformation would be overnight.

“What’s there to understand?” he asks as he shrugs one shoulder. “You need me to clean up your scandal, and I want you. To me, it’s a fair trade.” Easy for him to say. He’s not the one who’s going to be left brokenhearted when he moves on to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and I’m back in my apartment in Queens with my cats. I know he thinks what he wants right now is a political marriage to me where we live a peaceful coexistence for the greater American good, but I know that this insecure person can’t possibly keep his interest for long because I am already annoyed with her and she is me.

“Okay.” I don’t agree to anything, but I have to keep it together. I can’t let him have more pieces of me so soon. I have to keep as many of them as possible so I can be me. What happens when there’s nothing left?

“Now let’s talk.”

“I have to go to work,” I tell him as I try to push up from his lap, but he only tightens his arms around me.

“Grace,” he warns.

“No, I really do have to go.” And I do. I have a full docket today of cleaning up messes left behind by men just like Jake. Men who go about their lives as if the world is their playground and, with enough money, they can avoid any real consequences. I should hate them, but they put a roof over my head and those of my cats. It’s also how I’m able to pull off projects like Open Arms for the good. It cleanses my soul after I’m done wading through the muck.

“Okay,” he agrees way too easily. “I’ll drive you.”

There it is. I was wondering where this morning’s other shoe was.

“That’s really unnecessary,” I tell him. “I’m in completely the wrong direction for you.”

“I don’t mind,” he says, and then he smiles that wolf in sheep’s clothing smile. Those twin deceptive dimples wink at me. They’re selling me a bill of goods that will lead to nothing but heartache. And yet I can’t turn him down. I mean, I could, but I would look like a big jerk.

“Great,” I reply without any truth behind it, and we both know it. Jake’s smile just brightens even more. “I’ll get my bag.”

• • •

SPOTS STILL DANCE INfront of my eyes as we sit in silence in the backseat of a black Suburban.