Page 32 of The Secret Librarian

Avery was silent, and when Camille glanced at her she saw that she was moving sand through her fingers too.

It was incredibly therapeutic, and something Camille often did if she had a day off, when she’d come to the beach alone and stare out at the ocean, imagining what it would be like if she’d stayed in France.

‘You’ve suffered so much loss,’ Avery finally said. ‘It doesn’t seem fair.’

‘Nothing about this war seems fair, and I’ve lost no more than so many others,’ Camille said.

‘But sometimes I feel as if the only thing propelling me forward is wanting to hold someone accountable.’ She closed her eyes again.

‘Hugo was all I had left, and I just ... it’s not just about his death, it’s about everything that happened the night he died.

I feel like I can’t stop until I find out who took him from me, and I also have this burning desire to keep doing the work he was so passionate about.

It was because of him that I became involved in Resistance work in the first place, so in a way it’s like keeping his memory alive. ’

Avery moved closer to her, their shoulders touching, and Camille felt the closest to breaking down as she’d ever felt. She’d never told anyone else in Lisbon the truth about what had happened to her family, and it was almost harder now that she had.

‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have burdened you with all that.’

‘You’re wrong,’ Avery said, bumping her shoulder this time with Camille’s.

‘My mother has this little saying that a problem shared is a problem halved. My sister and I used to always whisper to each other at night, following that advice, knowing how much better we’d feel if we told the other our worries. ’

‘You miss her?’

‘I miss what we had as children,’ Avery said. ‘We’re so different now, but there was a time we were so similar, we were like twins.’

They were silent for a while, the only sound the water lapping softly nearby.

‘Avery, have you seen James?’ Camille asked. ‘I know you have feelings for him, but I don’t trust him. I’d prefer you not to see him alone, just in case.’ She paused. ‘ Have you seen him again?’

Avery was silent, and Camille hoped she hadn’t upset her. But when their eyes met, Avery held her gaze.

‘I haven’t, not since we had dinner. I fear that he’s left and I won’t ever see him again, but if James was playing a duplicitous game, then he’s very good at it,’ Avery said. ‘But I promise, I’ll be careful. And if it was him who was involved in what happened to you ...’

The words didn’t need to be said. Camille reached for her hand and gave it a quick squeeze.

‘On a lighter note, don’t look now, but it appears we have company,’ Camille murmured, recognising the tall, broad-shouldered man coming towards them.

‘Hello ladies,’ he said, his shoes in one hand as he walked barefoot across the sand.

Avery sat up, shielding her eyes from the sun, and Camille realised just how inexperienced her American friend was. They may only be a few years apart in age, but sometimes Avery seemed much younger.

‘Ahh, hello,’ Avery said, as Camille smiled and said ‘hello’ back to him.

‘I thought I recognised you from the square,’ he said, his gaze trained on Avery. ‘How’s the wrist?’

‘Fine, thank you.’

Camille tried not to laugh at how obviously flustered Avery was over her handsome friend. There went her naive little librarian all over again.

‘I’m Camille,’ she said, watching as Avery quickly pushed her skirt down so she wasn’t showing so much leg. ‘And this is my friend Avery, although I believe you’ve met before.’

‘William,’ he said, although he never took his eyes off Avery. ‘Pleased to meet you, and under nicer circumstances this time.’

Camille exchanged a look with Avery, who looked like she wanted the ground to open up and swallow her.

‘You ladies are enjoying the sun?’ William asked, rolling up his trousers. ‘Do you mind if I sit for a moment?’

Avery made a noise that was impossible to decipher, but Camille covered for her. ‘Of course. It’s not every day we have a handsome man wanting to keep us company.’

He made a face as if he was trying to remember something, before clicking his fingers. ‘You’re the French bookshop lady, am I right?’

She smiled. ‘I am French, although I’ve been in Portugal long enough to think I’m one of the locals, and yes, I’m from the bookshop a few blocks from Rossio Square.’

‘I thought you looked familiar.’ He nodded and turned to Avery. ‘And what brings you to Portugal, Avery? I’m guessing you’re not abroad on holiday in the middle of a war.’

‘Ah no, I’m here on behalf of the Library of Congress, actually,’ she said. ‘I specialise in cataloguing books and other publications, so I’m making sure we have a record of the war, for historical purposes of course.’

‘Ahh, well, that’s very interesting work, I’m sure.’ He glanced at his watch. ‘It’s later than I thought, ladies, so I’m going to have to leave you. But are you going out tonight? It is Friday, after all.’

‘We are,’ Camille said, before Avery could interject. ‘The bar at Hotel Avenida, actually. You?’

‘It seems that I might see you there.’

Camille watched as his eyes flickered over to Avery again, and she waved goodbye to him while trying not to laugh. After everything that had ensued with Kiefer this morning, it was nice to have something to be amused about.

‘That man was very interested in you,’ she whispered as soon as he was out of earshot. ‘But you need to relax, he’s just a man.’

‘Oh stop it, he was not interested,’ Avery said, still flustered and rolling her eyes at Camille.

‘You never look so hot under the collar when you’re talking to your other British man.’

‘James is different, he’s very easy to talk to, but trust me when I say that I’m very hot under the collar around James. I feel like my face is on fire every time we have a conversation.’

They both laughed and Camille lay back in the sand, even though the sun was starting to fade. She just wanted a moment longer to close her eyes and relax.

‘Are we really going out tonight?’ Avery asked. ‘I thought you wouldn’t trust him either, given that he’s British.’

‘It’s because he’s British that we’re going to meet him,’ Camille said. ‘We need to extract every bit of information from all of the men we come across. Besides, how many other men have you seen helping the Jews? I don’t think he’s my target.’

‘Including Kiefer and his friends?’ Avery asked. ‘Aren’t you at all nervous, pretending to be interested when really you’re not? I know you said it’s all a means to an end, but how do you do it?’

Sometimes I can barely breathe when I’m with Kiefer and his Nazi friends. That was what she should have told Avery.

‘I already know Kiefer and his countrymen are the enemy; it’s the ones pretending they’re not that scare me.

But yes, Kiefer will be there with his friends tonight too, and I’m keen to use them to my advantage.

’ She paused. ‘Kiefer is leaving soon actually, he told me so this morning, so this might be my last chance to extract some information from him.’

What she didn’t tell Avery was that Kiefer knew more about Camille than he’d let on, and that it could put them both in danger if he didn’t keep his word.

Avery stood and held out her hand to help Camille to her feet. ‘Come on then.’

‘So you’ll come?’

‘Yes, I’ll come, but don’t go thinking I’m going to be useful to you tonight in extracting information from anyone, because I can assure you that I won’t be. It is most definitely not one of my strengths.’

Camille smiled to herself, starting to see Avery for the woman she could be.

We’ll see about that. But she knew she couldn’t part ways with her friend without telling her the truth about what she’d agreed to.

It should have been the first thing she’d told her when they’d met at the beach, and she didn’t want to, couldn’t wait, any longer.

‘Avery, something happened today, something I wish I’d told you the moment we sat down.’

Avery’s eyes met hers. ‘Nothing happened to any of the families, did it? Please tell me they’re—’

‘Kiefer knows what I’m doing. He found out.’

Avery visibly paled. ‘About the work we’re doing? About the ...’ Her voice fell away.

‘He doesn’t know anything about your involvement, but I made a deal with him.’ She hated herself for what she was about to say. ‘In exchange for information, I promised to stop forging documents or going near the Jewish area.’

Avery’s eyes widened. ‘You’re not going to help them anymore? You’re just going to stop when—’

‘No, Avery,’ she said. ‘What I agreed to and what I’m going to do are two very different things, but I might need your help more than I thought. I’m going to have to be careful. You might have to deliver any documents to them, depending on how closely I’m being watched.’

Avery was silent.

‘Nothing will stop me from helping those families, but I can’t be seen going near them again. I have to believe he’s having me followed. I know it’s a lot to ask, but—’

‘I’ll do it. Whatever you need from me, however I can help them, I will do it.’

Camille reached for her hand and searched her face. ‘You’re certain?’

‘I don’t see that I have any other choice.’