Page 13 of The Secret Crush Book Club (Peach Blossom #3)

Ten

D ani Williams was not the type of person who freaked out at small things. She was cool. Calm. Collected even. So, coming up with the words to explain how she was feeling right now was almost an insurmountable task.

Having lunch with Zoey had made her acutely aware of just how attractive she found the other woman.

It wasn’t like Dani had never found other women cute.

Hell, she had eyes and was secure enough in herself to recognize that certain attributes were attractive, no matter who had them.

She knew the other woman was cute; had even told her that once or twice before.

But this realization of just how attractive she was and that it wasn’t just in a platonic way was new.

Or was it? Dani was quickly realizing that she was far more observant about other people than she was when it came to herself.

That was probably something she should work on.

“Oh hell,” she said to herself as she sank down on her bed.

The rest of the workday had been uneventful.

She had gone back to work, her mind still replaying their lunch and how easy it had been compared to every single date she had gone on recently.

When Zoey had invited her to a movie, Dani had immediately wanted to say yes.

She couldn’t help but marvel at how excited she had been at the thought of spending more time with her, even if they were simply sitting in the dark and staring at a screen.

Her excitement had been momentarily dashed when she realized that she would have to decline.

Being a single parent was difficult in that way.

Jordan was home tonight, and she knew everyone else had plans already.

Dani had quickly offered the following night and when Zoey readily agreed that excitement was renewed.

Being this excited to hang out with someone who wasn’t already a friend or family was novel to her.

Every invitation previously, Dani had said yes, but with the type of reluctance that often left her wondering if she should’ve just said no.

This wasn’t even a real date, despite what she’d thrown out before fleeing the scene.

And yet she still found herself anticipating the time they would eventually be spending together.

When Dani had gotten back to work, Natasha had been curious about her shift in mood.

Before leaving for lunch, Dani had given her the rundown of the date with Vernon.

She had made sure to emphasize how nice of a guy he was, even while insisting that Dani didn’t see any sort of romantic future with him.

She had expected Natasha to throw out another name or insist that maybe she should give it a second date and see if maybe nerves had just kept Dani from really getting into things, but that wasn’t what happened.

No, Natasha had started asking the type of questions that had been on Dani’s mind for weeks.

It was like holding up a mirror where everywhere you turned, it was there.

When Dani had thrown out the “date” comment, she had seen Zoey’s eyes widen before Dani had turned tail and made her escape.

Here she was, nearly thirty years old and running away from her own words.

It was like she wasn’t even an adult. But now as she took the time to really think back on her conversation with Zoey, she realized one undeniable truth.

She liked Zoey and she was pretty sure it wasn’t just in the friendly-neighborhood-librarian type of way.

Even though she knew that this would bring her nothing but grief, Dani decided she needed to consult with her sisters.

With a sigh, she stood and walked across the hall.

She knocked on Ava’s door, giving herself time to calm down before opening it when Ava called out.

She wasn’t surprised to see Ava sitting at her desk, her fingers flying furiously over her laptop.

Ava paused to turn to look over at Dani.

“You actually knocked and waited for me to tell you to come in.” Her eyes narrowed as she looked at Dani. “What did you do?”

Dani rolled her eyes. “I didn’t do a damn thing. I just…there’s something I wanted to talk to you about if you have a minute.”

Ava watched her for a moment before turning around in her chair. “There’s something you want to talk to me about? Is everything all right?”

Dani shook her head and then nodded. That granted her an eyebrow arch from Ava and a considering look.

“Well, that was clear as mud,” Ava replied.

“That’s about how I feel about all this, so that tracks,” Dani said, walking into the room.

She sat on Ava’s bed and tried not to look like she was having a quarter-life crisis.

With her eyes trained on the floor, Dani tried to figure out how to start this conversation.

Did she immediately dive into her not-quite date with Zoey?

Should she bring up how she felt on all the disastrous dates she’d had over the past few months, if not years?

“You’re starting to worry me,” Ava said, bringing Dani’s attention back to the fact that she was now sitting in front of a live audience. “What’s going on?”

Deciding that the best course of action was just to dive in and not think too much about it, Dani took a few deep breaths before speaking. “How did you know that you were gay?”

The silence between them stretched as if all the air was sucked from the room.

Ava’s dumbstruck expression had Dani wishing for a camera.

If not for how serious she felt the conversation was, Dani would’ve laughed at Ava’s wide eyes and her mouth that seemed to be frozen open.

She didn’t get why Ava was having such an extreme reaction to her question.

It’s not that they had never talked about sexuality before.

Well, they had talked about Ava and later Vini’s sexualities.

Dani had never had this conversation about herself.

It was always just understood that she dated men.

Hell, she had been married. She had a kid.

But she was quickly realizing that those facts didn’t mean shit.

Especially not when she closed her eyes at night and dark brown eyes, kissable lips and curls that made her want to bury her fingers in them were the stars of her fantasies.

“What is this conversation? Are you coming out? Is this…were you in the closet?” Ava asked, her voice growing higher with each question.

Dani wanted to shrug to disperse the seriousness of the conversation and the tension that filled the air, but she knew that would only send Ava into more of a spiral.

Based on Ava’s mouth opening and closing with no other words being said, Dani could only conclude that she had somehow broken her sister.

“Are you okay?”

“Am I okay?” Ava asked, sounding borderline hysterical. “You just asked me if I was gay.”

“No, I asked you how you knew you were gay,” Dani corrected. “There’s a difference. Besides, I know you’re Grace-sexual. You hate everyone else.”

“That’s not…” Ava trailed off when Dani gave her a look. “Fine. But don’t try to change the subject. This is about you. Where is this all coming from?”

Dani shrugged and crossed her arms. She didn’t want to seem too serious, even though she could almost feel her heart rate increasing. “Nowhere really. We just haven’t really talked about this stuff in a while.”

“Nowhere, huh?” Ava gave her a considering look. “Does this sudden questioning of my sexuality have anything to do with Jordan’s new favorite librarian?”

Dani looked down, picking at a small fuzzy thread on Ava’s comforter. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Ava crossed her arms and gave Dani a withering look. “Ugh, fine. Tell me what you know.”

Ava turned around fully in her chair. “I know that when Grace and I ran into the cutie in cardigans at Terry’s, she was awfully curious about you.”

“What was she curious about?” Dani asked before she could stop herself. “Did she say anything about me?” She knew she was being obvious in her quest for more information about Zoey, but the ship to being coy had clearly sailed.

“Just that she had given you some advice and was worried that perhaps you had taken her words the wrong way.” Dani frowned but Ava continued before she could say anything.

“I told her that if you had taken it the wrong way, you would’ve let her know immediately. Everyone knows you aren’t that polite.”

Dani shrugged. “You’re not wrong. She did give me some advice that was very helpful.” Dani narrowed her eyes. “Was that all she said about me?”

“Why does it matter?” Ava asked. “Did you want her to say something else about you?”

Dani thought about it. She could’ve said no, but that would’ve been a lie. She knew if she wanted Ava’s advice, she had to lay it all out there. Ava was stubborn as hell when she wanted to be, so the fact that Dani was getting this much was a damn miracle, and one she needed to continue.

“Yes.”

“Like?” Ava prompted.

Dani sighed and looked up at the ceiling as she leaned back on her hands. “Like if she thought I was nice to look at.”

“Vanity? Really, Dani?”

Dani clenched her jaw before continuing.

“I think she’s cute and I think I fucking like her, so yes.

Vanity.” Ava’s answering silence had Dani lifting her head to look at her.

Even with Ava acting like she knew it all, her expression was shocked.

Dani would have laughed if not for the subject of their conversation.

“Holy shit,” Ava whispered. “You’re gay?”

“No.” Dani paused and thought. “Yes? I don’t know. I just know that when Zoey asked me to a movie, I was more excited than I have been in a long fucking time.”

“Yeah, but friends go to movies together all the time.”

Dani arched an eyebrow. “Do friends go to the movies with the desire to make out? Do friends fantasize about each other?”