Page 26

26

ANASTASIA

“ Y ou and the baby are fine.” My doctor flashes me a strong smile as she finishes packing up her equipment.

“I understand that it was scary, but it’s deceptively common. You need to lower your stress and take better care of yourself, okay? I will prescribe a mild sedative to help you sleep, but I highly recommend that you take a step back from work and focus on taking care of yourself.”

She speaks from a place of wisdom and care, and I know I should listen to her.

But I can’t.

There’s simply too much to do.

“Anastasia?” She leans forward and lightly touches the back of my wrist.

“Are you listening?”

“Yes.” I lift my head and force a deep breath.

“I understand. No work. No stress.”

“Precisely.” She smiles again, although it doesn’t fully mask the concern in her eyes.

“And I’m a phone call away.”

“Thank you.”

My doctor leaves the bedroom, escorted out by Faina, who returns within fifteen seconds and closes the door firmly behind her.

“I bet you could use a drink.”

“If only.” Stroking my abdomen, I push myself back into the plush pillows lining my bed.

“I’m not risking anything.”

“You don’t mind if I do, right?”

“Not at all.”

Faina groans softly and pulls a miniature vodka from her pocket.

The seal cracks as she opens it, then she drinks it in one gulp.

Smacking her lips together, she tosses the bottle into the trashcan near the door and then approaches the bed.

“How are you feeling?”

I lift my gaze from my abdomen.

“Is it wrong to be devastated?”

She shakes her head.

“No. I don’t think so. I could see the two of you were close.” She glances briefly at my stomach.

“I’m sorry.”

“You know, I think the worst part is that he must have told me thinking I would forgive him right off the bat. He told me the most shocking thing he could think of to stop my panic attack and then afterward, it was as if he expected me to understand.”

Faina’s eyes narrow.

“Understand what? That he was loyal to someone else? Viktor…” She shakes her head and drums her fingertips on one knee.

“This entire time, he was spying on you for Viktor because they thought you capable of murder. And not once in all the time that you two were close did he speak up. That fucker.”

“He wasn’t wrong, though.” My gaze lingers on Faina’s puzzled face.

“About the murder.”

Her eyes widen.

“What do you mean?”

There’s no point keeping it a secret.

I’m surprised Viktor hasn’t already kicked down my bedroom door to drag me out in front of the other families and order my execution.

What could he be waiting for?

“I did it.”

“You didn’t.”

“I did.” My lips press flat together.

“I killed my father.”

“Anastasia…” Faina’s mouth falls open, and then to my surprise, she smirks.

“You know, I had my suspicions.”

“What?”

“I saw you after the funeral. You were so…” She clicks her tongue behind her teeth.

“It was like you were a different person. Like the Anastasia I briefly knew in passing was gone. And then you made me your underboss. Not Viktor. I wondered if something was up but then decided I didn’t care because the change you’ve been bringing meant so much more.”

“I can’t tell if you’re serious,” I remark.

“Does everyone around me suspect me of murder?”

“No,” she replies quickly.

“Just… you’re my friend. I know you. And I knew him, so you won’t hear any complaints from me. Your father was a tyrant. A monster. And I don’t really need to know the reasoning, but I know you. You’ve protected me ever since you gave me this position, so you have my loyalty and my friendship. Hell, I’ll help you host a private dinner party for Viktor if you'd like.”

She waggles her eyebrows and an unexpected laugh escapes me.

“That won’t be necessary.”

“Are you sure? Because if that rat Erik has scurried back to his master, then it’s only a matter of time.”

“I know.” My eyes drop to the blanket covering my legs. I trace the pattern with my fingertips, following the raised braiding along the edge. “I wonder if he has already.”

“It’s been a few hours.” Faina sighs. “What reason would he have to keep it a secret? The fact that he was spying is enough to show where his loyalty really lies.”

Her words, while truthful, cut through me like a razor blade and my throat thickens as emotion wells unexpectedly behind my eyes. “I think I liked him,” I say hoarsely. “That was the worst part. I was so ready to open myself up to him properly and then he stood in front of me and told me I was just a task. And then he tried to justify it by acting like he’d realized I was a different, better person.”

“And then you told him the truth.”

I nod. “And now… I have no idea. He has no reason to keep his mouth shut. I just don’t understand why Viktor isn’t here already.”

“Maybe part of him was telling the truth?” Faina suggests. “Maybe he really does care about you and right now he’s at war with himself. Deserved, if you ask me, but…”

When our eyes meet, I can see the hope in her eyes. She doesn’t really believe that about Erik, but she’s trying to make me feel better, I can tell.

“I hope it eats him up,” I reply bitterly. “I hope it drives him to his grave.”

“So, two dinner parties.” Faina snorts softly. “Although, speaking of…”

I study her face and for a moment, she can’t meet my eyes. When she does, she inhales deeply before speaking. “I know it was Viktor’s idea, but I am in support of canceling the gala.”

“What?”

“Look at the state of you, Anastasia. Your blood pressure is so high that your body is literally bursting. All that bleeding wasn’t good for you or the baby. I know the Doc says you’re fine, but she’s right, you need to lower your stress levels and this entire fucked up situation is not helping.”

“Faina—”

“No. You need to listen. There’s far too much at risk, including your life, and I can’t lose you, you understand? And I don’t think you want to lose that baby, either. You can’t let this gala happen.”

“No!” Faina’s agreement with that plan irritates me so greatly that the blanket I’m under suddenly feels suffocating. Pushing it off, I slide from the bed and pace away toward the window just to expel some of the surging, irritating energy inside me. “How can you even suggest that?”

“How can you not?” Faina asks, remaining on the bed.

“I need this, okay? My every move has been watched since I took power from my father. Not because people are waiting for me to do something great, but because I’m a woman. I spent hours with my father’s generals and they constantly spoke like I wasn’t there. Every idea and deal I’ve made since then has been a battle. Even buying up those construction companies… the number of people thinking I’m just running around with Daddy’s money. This is my chance, don’t you see?”

I pace back to the bed with my mind racing.

“This is my chance to prove to everyone watching that I know exactly what I am doing. That all the questionable business decisions and dismantling of my father’s empire were worth it because this new one I’m building will be ten times better and cause a fraction of the harm. We’ll be hurting rich, obnoxious people making their own stupid decisions rather than innocents snatched from the street. I’ll be announcing our first ever alliance with another family and…” My chest tightens as I struggle to get all of my ideas out in one breath.

“I understand,” Faina says. “But?—”

“No. No, you don’t. Because if you did, you would never even ask me. There hasn’t been a gala cancellation in decades and I’m not letting one happen in my first year as Godmother. I would look so weak. Insanely weak. But no one would bat an eye if I were a man. They would say he was making a smart, savvy business decision. But me? Under the microscope of every family around us waiting to see what I’m really made of? They’d scoff at my inability to lead. So no. There’s too much riding on this. The only thing that can cancel the gala is if I die!”

“And if you do?” Faina’s eyes flood with sadness. “If you push yourself too hard? Or Erik tells the truth and Viktor comes for you? What then? What will you do to protect yourself and your baby?”

“Let him come,” I snap. “I’d like to see him fucking try.”

Faina stands and approaches me, taking my hands in hers. “I’m not against you,” she says softly. “Remember that. I just want you to take care of yourself.”

I meet her gaze. “I’ll be fine. Trust me.”

It’s a request to myself as much as it is to her. As Faina moves into the ensuite to prepare a bath for me, the silence in her absence creates space for me to think.

Tonight was a scare in more ways than one. I’m so stressed that it’s affecting my pregnancy, one I hadn’t even been sure I wanted to keep. As the weeks slipped by, I tried not to think about the life growing inside me, but the pain and the sight of all that blood made one thing clear.

I was scared of losing it.

Coming to terms with that was relatively easy until Erik announced his betrayal. He’d never been with me for me. He’d always been spying for Viktor.

Every sweet moment. Every romantic thought. Every second I felt safe in his arms.

It was all a lie.

I suddenly feel very alone.

Closing the curtains against the dark world outside doesn’t alleviate the sensation. I’m walking on eggshells, waiting for Viktor to smash down my door.

Somehow, the waiting is worse.

Every creak of the floorboards outside my door makes my skin jump. My heart races constantly, running a marathon around my chest with ease. Even the subtle shifts in the manor due to age spikes my nerves like a jolt of lightning.

Would it be ridiculous to move the dresser in front of the door?

Maybe.

Especially after telling Faina I was okay.

She stays with me while I bathe, a quiet warmth in the corner just keeping an eye on me. It helps keep the loneliness at bay for a little while as I wash away the chemical taint left behind by my doctor and her kit, as well as any lingering dried blood on my legs.

Once I have been bathed, Faina helps me to bed and tucks me in. She offers to stay until I fall asleep, but I send her away with assurances that I will take care of myself.

Then there’s just me in the vast, empty darkness of my bedroom.

Tears come quickly. Tears of pain and grief, tears of fear and betrayal.

I’d always struggled with feeling alone, but Erik was supposed to be on my side. He was supposed to be someone I could turn to, someone unexpected in a sea of hyenas waiting for me to make a mistake. I thought I’d made a good choice by choosing him to be at my side, and an even better choice when I started falling for him.

He seemed like a good, strong, decent man.

My heart hurts.

Rolling onto my side, I curl around one of my pillows and bury my face into the fabric while I sob.

His betrayal hurts more than anything else. He’s made me look stupid, and I can never forgive him for that.

All this time, he was working for Viktor.

All this damn time.

I sob myself into unsettling dreams of blood, babies, and constantly running away from something chasing me. My dreams are so unsettling that when I wake the next morning to Faina bringing me coffee, I feel like I haven’t slept a wink.

“That’s decaf, by the way,” Faina says, perching on the edge of my bed as the sunlight trickling through the gaps in my curtains streaks across her face.

“You bitch.” I snort softly. “I need all the help I can get.”

“If you won’t take care of yourself, then I’ll do it for you,” she says with a tight smile. “But Anastasia… there’s something you should know.”

My hands tighten around the cup, coffee resting on my tongue as our eyes meet. My stomach twists.

What on earth has happened now?

I swallow and lick my lower lip. “Out with it.”

“It’s Erik. I looked for him last night to give him a piece of my mind, but I couldn’t find him anywhere. And then this morning, I woke up to a letter.”

“A letter?” Lowering the cup, my heart begins to race once more. The inside of my chest feels so raw from yesterday that each beat feels like raw pressure against a bruise.

Faina nods and pulls an envelope from her pocket. “Erik’s gone,” she says. “But he left this and it’s addressed to you.”