Page 12

12

ANASTASIA

S leep escapes me tonight, much like it has each night since my father passed.

Rest only comes when I’m so completely and utterly exhausted that not even my racing brain and anxious heart can keep me awake.

Tonight feels like one of those nights, and yet as I close my eyes and wait to drift off, nothing happens.

I remain as awake and alert as ever, with my mind running over the family’s finances and the possible risks we face from the Cartel.

They haven’t made contact, but the sum my father owed them verges on insanity.

I can only imagine that he used the power in our name and his reputation to get away with not paying them for so long.

That falls to me now, and I have no idea what I’m going to do.

Between caring for the victims of the skin trade and getting the new construction investment off the ground, I don’t have enough for those debts.

For the first time since I stepped into this position, I feel the allure of easy money.

Maybe Viktor was right.

Maybe I should have kept some of the sex trade active for income purposes.

No sooner does that thought enter my mind than disgust worms its way through my gut and I sit up quickly, groaning.

I swore to be better.

I won’t fall into that kind of trap.

And I’m not going to spend another night tossing and turning.

Throwing back the sheets, I slide from the bed and head barefoot down to the kitchen.

The manor is deathly silent, and I enjoy it immensely.

Times like these are rare, but they’re the only time I can pretend I’m just a normal woman walking through her house.

There’s no Mafia responsibility, no guns and drugs, no security, and no threat against my life.

Sometimes, I dream that I’m something important, like a lawyer or doctor.

Other times, I imagine myself running a small grocery store with regular, elderly customers who always get my name wrong.

Although I’m not sure how long I would last in a customer service role.

I sort of hate people.

The cold tile floor in the kitchen wakes me up a little more.

I settle into a familiar routine of warming milk on the stove and grating chocolate onto a plate as I make hot chocolate.

It’s a simple recipe taught to me by one of the various women who served as my nanny over the years.

Each nanny I had was kind, but my father switched them out too often for me to grow a bond with any of them.

Suddenly, footsteps thump out in the hall.

Erik sprints into the kitchen with his handgun raised.

His thick, dark hair is messy like a bird’s nest, and he’s topless, wearing only black cotton joggers.

“Fucking hell,” he snaps.

“Anastasia, what the hell are you doing?”

I casually glance up from stirring the milk.

“What do you mean?”

He’s panting as he lowers the gun and rakes his fingers through his hair.

“I thought we had an intruder.”

“In the kitchen?”

“I got an alert of movement in the kitchen, so yeah. Those doors lead right outside.” He indicates to the patio doors.

“So of course, I thought it was an intruder.”

“You’re taking things too seriously,” I remark.

“What would an intruder want with my milk?”

“That’s not…” Erik sighs wearily.

“You could have been in trouble.”

“Oh, no,” I tease with a smirk.

“Someone save me from overboiling the milk and catching my fingers on the grater.”

Erik rolls his eyes and sets his gun down on the counter.

“I take your safety seriously.”

“Stalker much?”

“And yet you thank me each time I save your life.”

“Yes. Well, thank you, but as you can see, the greatest threat to my life right now is bacteria.” I resume my stirring, then pause and playfully narrow my eyes at him.

“Actually, I was in here for quite a while before you appeared. Are you sure you have decent alerts?”

Erik huffs out a breath as he moves closer.

Soon, he’s standing next to me with intense heat radiating from his bare torso.

“I was asleep, so it took me a second. Which means you also should be asleep?”

“Oh, I totally am. This is all a dream.”

“Oh, really?” He looks at me, and I lift my attention to his eyes.

In the dull light, his eyes look like pools of ink and shadows dance across his handsome face, highlighting just how angular his jaw is.

Warmth curls through my gut and settles down between my legs.

“Yes.” All thought of milk and hot chocolate fades from my mind as a new, much more intense distraction presents itself.

“And in my dream, I’m in control.”

“How so?” Erik’s eyes dart back and forth between mine, then they flick down to my lips.

My heart skips a beat.

I told myself this would never happen again.

It couldn’t.

Erik is my bodyguard, security advisor, and technically, an employee.

Any of those reasons should keep me away from dirty thoughts, but as he stands here, all I can think about is how sexy he looks.

And how effective an orgasm is in sending me to sleep.

“When did you get this?” I delicately press my fingers against the tattoo resting on his chest.

His heartbeat thrums beneath my touch and excitement jumps through my arm.

“My tattoo?” He glances down at the hourglass anchor nestled among colorful roses.

“After I left the army.”

“Does it have meaning? Or did you think it looked cool?”

“Both. I wanted a reminder that time is precious. Hard to forget after I lost my parents and my sister.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It happens. But I also wanted to remember to be strong and fair. Hence the anchor, and then the flowers.” His chest flexes faintly underneath my fingertips.

“It’s difficult to hold those values in this life.”

“True. So I focus on those close to me. I can’t save the world. I can’t even save myself, but I can make sure that I do what I can to keep true to myself and keep my people safe.”

“Including me?”

“Including you.”

“But I’m your boss.” I trace the tattoo lightly.

“Does being paid to keep me safe fit in with those morals?”

“Sure,” Erik replies softly.

“No reason I can’t benefit from my morals, right?”

Laughter rises in me, unexpected and soft.

“I’m sure that’s how mercenaries sleep at night.”

“Helps me.”

“And this?” I touch his other tattoo on his arm just below his elbow.

“That one was to look cool,” Erik replies, flexing under my touch.

“Nothing cool there.”

“Makes sense.” I smile briefly.

“What about you?” Erik leans in close suddenly and reaches past me to turn the heat all the way down on the milk.

My heart leaps into my throat and warmth flushes over my skin.

“I have a tattoo, yeah.”

His eyes dart down me, taking in my silky nightie.

“Where?”

“Find it and I’ll tell you what it means.”

“Is that a challenge?” Our eyes meet.

“You said never again. Moment of weakness.” Erik leans so close that it’s a wonder our lips don’t touch as he talks.

“This is just a dream,” I whisper.

“It doesn’t count.”

Then our lips do meet.

The kiss is soft at first, and Erik is cautious, like he expects me to immediately change my mind.

I tell myself over and over that this is just sex.

It will help me sleep.

That lie does nothing to calm how hard my heart flutters when his thick arms wrap around my body and pull me close to him.

His warmth sears against me like a brand, and it’s almost suffocating, but I lean into it and slide my hands to the back of his neck.

My body arches into him, and he deepens the kiss with a grunt.

Then I’m floating as his hands slide over my ass and grip tightly, then he scoops me up into his arms.

I wind my legs around his waist with a soft moan, looping one arm fully around his shoulders while my other hand grazes up into his hair.

Heat ignites in my core, and Erik stumbles back, bumping into the kitchen table with a grunt, but as he turns to lay me down on the table, I have a slight change of heart and break the kiss.

“This is my dream,” I gasp softly.

“So I’m on top.”

His brow lifts, and I lose myself in the darkness of his sparkling eyes.

“As you say,” he murmurs, his voice taking on a throaty, slightly rough edge.

Instead of placing me on the table, he slides onto it himself and I slide naturally into his lap.

Pressing both hands onto his bare shoulders, I push him down flat onto the table and follow him with a kiss.

His tongue dances along the seam of my lips, and as I part them, hardness rises beneath me as his cock stirs.

His joggers do absolutely nothing to hide his arousal, which is exactly what I want.

His hands caress my sides, sliding up to my ribs and then back down to my hips.

“Do I get a clue?” he gasps as our kiss breaks.

“A clue?” I push myself up, bracing my hands on his muscular abdomen while his hips shift underneath me.

“About where your tattoo is?”

Rolling my hips down, pleasure peaks as his cock hardens completely underneath me.

“No. That would be cheating.”

His eyes roam over me, and I can tell he’s trying to work out exactly where I would get ink on my body.

But I’m not going to give him the chance.

I’m too eager to feel that delicious weight inside me again, too eager to follow the curls of lust in my gut to a fantastic end.

Thanks to his joggers, it doesn’t take me long to free his cock from the fabric, but with no lube on hand, I have to be very creative.

Erik lies on the table, keeping his hands on my hips as I raise myself up just enough to wrap my hand around his thick cock and stroke just once, then press it down against his pelvis.

Raising my nightie, I delicately align myself and when I sink back down, my pussy slides over his cock.

Erik moans and his hips jerk upward, sending a thrill of pleasure through me.

My core tightens and dampness warms my pussy as I grind back and forth over the thick ridge of his cock.

My juices coat him while my eyes close and I focus on teasing my clit with my fingers.

Erik’s hands slide around to my ass, squeezing and caressing me, then he slides them up to my lower back before moving them back to my hips.

My body heats up like a warming flame, my heart races, and each grind of my pussy over his cock sends a shock of desire through my core.

Massaging my clit, I watch Erik’s head fall back.

His eyes close, and he’s well and truly distracted.

“Fuck,” he groans, his throat bobbing harshly as he swallows.

“You’re so devious.”

“What is it?” I tease breathlessly.

“Does it turn you on that I’m just using you for pleasure? Does it… frustrate you?” Leaning down, I snap my teeth gently around one of his nipples and Erik’s entire body jolts.

His grip becomes like iron on my hips, and a jolt of excitement spears through me.

“You can use me however you want,” he pants.

“Just know I’ll get my own back.”

“Oh, really?” Slowly, I rise and adjust myself.

“And exactly how will you do that?”

As I finally sink down on Erik’s cock and take him inch by deep inch inside me, his plan for revenge dissolves into breathy moans.

He clenches his teeth, tenses his jaw, and then thrusts his hips up to fully sheath himself inside me.

I moan loudly and smother a laugh as all he can do is playfully glare.

Riding Erik lights my skin on fire.

Every nerve screams for attention as I bounce on his cock and tease my clit with familiar fingers.

Having him below me is an unexpected turn-on.

Using him is also a turn-on, and knowing he’s happy to take it just makes the pleasure all the more delicious.

Each rise of my hips draws a moan from my lips, while each rock down sends pleasure coursing through my entire body.

I’m too hot and yet at the same time, I can’t have it any other way.

Even the electric contact of my thighs against his hips burns, telling me I should move away, but I can’t.

The heat sears us together.

Sweat prickles sharply down my spine, my core clenches, and my heart races as, with each deep rock of my hips, I fall closer and closer to orgasm.

Erik grips my hips tighter, crushing the silk fabric between his fingers.

His moans deepen, and just as he starts bucking up his hips to meet my own, I come with a cry.

My head falls back, the ends of my hair cling to my sweat-slicked shoulders, my entire body trembles like I’m about to shake apart, and my pussy clutches at his cock like it’s the only thing giving me life.

Nothing can tear us apart at this moment.

My fingers dance rapidly over my clit, milking every last second of pleasure from my orgasm while Erik finds his end inside me and comes with a deep, low moan.

By the time the tingles of pleasure fade and his cock softens inside me, I’m breathless and boneless.

Sleep is now a sure thing.

Slowly, I ease off his cock and he helps me down from the table, then as I step away, he grasps my wrist and pulls me back for a kiss.

“I never found that tattoo,” he whispers huskily against my lips.

“Shame.” I smirk, stroking over his beard-covered jaw with the back of my fingers.

“Maybe you never will.”

“Because we won’t talk about this either?” he asks, leaning back and searching my eyes.

I smirk.

“Isn’t it more exciting when it’s a secret?”