Page 179 of The Running Grave

‘I can get that posted for you,’ said Mazu, holding out a hand.

‘Thank you,’ said Robin, getting to her feet. ‘I feel much better for doing this.’

‘You shouldn’t be giving money to “feel better”,’ said Mazu.

They were the same height, but somehow, Robin still felt as though Mazu was the taller.

‘Your personal bar to pure spirit is egomotivity, Rowena,’ said Mazu. ‘You continue to put the materialist self ahead of the collective.’

‘Yes,’ said Robin. ‘I – I am trying.’

‘Well, we’ll see,’ said Mazu, with a little waggle of the letter Robin had just handed her, and the latter surmised that not until the funds were safely in the UHC’s bank account would she be deemed to have made spiritual progress.

Robin left the farmhouse holding her letter. Though it was lunchtime, and she was very hungry, she made a detour to the women’s bathroom to examine the page in her hand more closely.

Robin noticed, tilting the paper beneath the overhead light in the toilet cubicle, there was an almost imperceptible line of strip Tippex: somebody had obliterated the date on which it had been sent. Flipping the envelope over she saw that the time and date of the postmark had also been blurred. So exhausted she could no longer estimate lengths of time with much accuracy, and having no recourse to any calendar, Robin couldn’t remember exactly when she’d requested the fake letter from Theresa, but she doubted she’d ever have known it existed had Mazu not wanted her to have Theresa’s address.

For the first time, it occurred to Robin that one reason for Will Edensor’s lack of response to the letters informing him that his mother was dying might be that he’d never received them. Will was in possession of a large trust fund, and it was surely in the church’s interests that he remain at the farm, meekly handing over money, rather than discover, on learning of his mother’s death, that he couldn’t see her as a flesh object, or treat her love as materialist possession.

58

Two daughters live together, but their minds are not directed to common concerns.

The I Ching or Book of Changes

Robin knew Colin Edensor’s one thousand pounds must have reached the UHC’s bank account because a few days after she’d given Mazu her letter ordering the bank transfer she was reunited with her original group of high-level recruits. Nobody mentioned her Revelation session, nor did anyone welcome her back; all behaved as though she’d never been away.

This mutually agreed silence extended to Kyle’s unexplained absence from the group. Robin knew better than to ask how he’d transgressed, but she was certain he’d done something wrong because she soon spotted him doing the kind of hard manual work she’d just been allowed to give up. Robin also noticed that Vivienne now averted her eyes whenever her group and Kyle’s passed each other.

Robin found out what Kyle’s crime had been when she sat down opposite Shawna at dinner that night.

Following Shawna’s ill-advised recruitment of Robin to help with the children’s lessons, her head had been shaved. While she’d seemed cowed when she first appeared in her newly bald state, her fundamentally garrulous and indiscreet nature had now reasserted itself, and her first proud words to Robin were,

‘Oi’m increasing again.’

She patted her lower belly.

‘Oh,’ said Robin. ‘Congratulations.’

‘Yew don’t say that,’ scoffed Shawna. ‘Oi’m not doing it for me. Yew should be congratulating the church.’

‘Right,’ said Robin wearily. She’d deliberately sat with Shawna in the hopes of hearing more news about Jacob, because she had a hunch it was his fate she’d overheard Harmon, Zhou and Becca discussing in Mazu’s office, but she’d forgotten how exasperating the girl could be.

‘Did yew hear about him?’ Shawna asked Robin in a gleeful whisper, as Kyle passed the end of the table.

‘No,’ said Robin.

‘Hahaha,’ said Shawna.

The people beside them were locked in their own intense conversation. Shawna glanced sideways to make sure she wouldn’t be overheard before leaning in and whispering to Robin,

‘He says he carn’t spirit bond with, you know… women. Said it right to Mazu’s face.’

‘Well,’ said Robin cautiously, also whispering, ‘I mean… he’s gay, isn’t he? So—’

‘Thass materialism,’ said Shawna, louder than she’d intended, and one of the young men beside them glanced around and Shawna, greatly against Robin’s wishes, said loudly to them,

‘She thinks there’s such a thing as “gay”.’