Page 41 of The Risks of Reuniting (Love Connections #1)

I thought a lot about it while we showered at my place, and I figured that the truth is all we can do, so I say, "We have a lot to figure out still . . . "

But Holt puts his hand on my knee, stopping me, and looks at me rather than his parents.

"We do have a lot to figure out, and I don't know how you feel, but I think it makes the most sense for me to move back to Salt Lake," he states.

I look at him. "What?"

He squeezes my knee. "I'm not making a decision until we've hashed out all the options, but I think a good start would be seeing if I can get into the U and transfer back. I was accepted once. I think I could get accepted again," he adds.

Sandra smiles, obviously thrilled with the idea of her baby being close again. Victor and I exchange a look and both frown, understanding each other perfectly.

"Can you transfer out once you're in the program?" Victor asks, voicing my same concern.

Holt's face is earnest, his hand warm on my leg as he looks to his father. "I'd like to meet with admissions while I'm here this month and find out."

"And if the answer is no?" Victor asks.

Holt swallows hard and looks back at me. "I will still choose Chloe. I'll figure out something different . . ."

"Absolutely not!" I nearly shout. "You are not giving up your pharmacy school dreams for me." The words fly out, a visceral reaction, and I realize the truth of them.

"Well, we're not doing long distance," Holt argues.

"Who said anything about long distance?" I ask.

The room is quiet as Sandra and Holt regard me with wide eyes. Victor smiles, leaning back in his seat and crossing his big arms.

"But . . ." Holt slides back so that he can see me better. "I thought . . ."

"Did Allie put you up to this with her butterknife treatment?" I ask. Guilt touches his eyes and I tense. "What, exactly, did she say?"

"She informed me – and she's not wrong – that if I'm serious about this relationship I'd better be prepared to give up Chapel Hill."

I groan. "She doesn't get to decide what we do." I point at him. "And neither do you. We're supposed to have a discussion."

"Well, last year we had a million discussions and in the end I lost you," Holt replies, taking his hand off my knee to fold his arms. "So, this time around I want it to be clear that you come first. "

"I appreciate the thought, but you're doing the same thing in a different way," I respond, folding my own arms. Sandra and Victor both get up and silently leave the room, and a wave of embarrassment steals my thunder for a moment.

This should have been a private conversation.

I puff out a breath and look at him once they're gone.

"Look, I'm happy that you say you'd like to explore possibilities, but it feels like you've already landed on a decision – without me, again.

This time it's Salt Lake rather than North Carolina, but it's just the other side of the same coin.

" I wish I had a butterknife to point at him right now, but I poke at his calf with my toes.

"You can't do that any more. Same team."

Frustration, guilt, and then resignation flash across his face. "I did it again."

"You did."

He nods and sits up straighter, unfolding his arms. "All right. I'm a big dumb ox, but I can learn. So . . .rewinding and setting a new scene. It's only the two of us here, what are your thoughts?"

I uncross my own arms, lowering my defenses. "Leaving Chapel Hill when you're already in the program seems unwise," I say thoughtfully. "True?"

He sighs. "I hesitate to admit that, because I want you to know I'm committed to figuring out a solution."

I reach for his hand. "I appreciate that, love, but this isn't a solution for only you. We have to talk it out together."

"I'm afraid you'll shut me out again," he admits, and my heart lurches.

"I did do that, didn't I?" I ask, my voice soft with regret.

He only nods and then I'm moving from seated to kneeling to wrapping my arms around his neck as I slide into his lap .

"To your defense, I didn't really present it as a discussion, I sort of informed you that I'd be going to Chapel Hill and wanted you to come," he says, gathering me close with his arms around my waist.

"Mistakes were made," I reply softly, tucking myself in close.

I need the contact. It hurt being away from him for so long.

Same team means same seat on the couch, as far as I'm concerned.

"We spent all our time fighting for our own stance, and seeing only problems rather than solutions. So, let's redo it."

"Alright. Have the talk we should have had last year?"

"I like that," I say.

He clears his throat and settles deep into the back of the couch, holding me close.

"Interesting news, baby," he says, his hand lightly skimming my side. "I applied to both the U and Chapel Hill and was accepted at both."

"Really?" I press a kiss to his neck, under his jaw where he's freshly shaved, and his hand pauses before starting to move again. "I didn't know you were applying somewhere other than the U. What made you do that?"

His other hand moves to my knee and he circles my knee-cap lightly.

It tickles but I hold still. "Chapel Hill has a great program, and I thought it would be good for me to have two colleges under my name.

Also, we're surrounded by family here and I wondered if maybe it would be nice for our relationship to have a little adventure, and really solidify as a couple away from all of that. "

I'd been running my fingers over the nape of his neck, but I pause at that. "Why didn't you tell me that before?"

He shrugs. "For the same reasons I didn't tell you I'd applied. I'm dumb. "

I laugh lightly and resume stroking his neck. "I could see that being good for us."

"Would you ever consider coming with me? If not, I'd rather accept at the U than lose you." He presses a kiss to my head and I lean back to look up at him.

"I'm afraid to leave. I'm a planner and am building a foundation here," I reply.

He hugs me closer and presses a kiss to my nose. "I know, baby. It's a big ask."

"What about my job, and the condo you helped me pick out?"

"Allie could stay and take on a roommate to cover the mortgage? That's assuming you'd want to come back to Salt Lake after I graduate?" He kisses my lips softly and I grab at his shoulders to hold myself upright. "You should be able to practice dental hygiene in North Carolina."

"They may have different licensing requirements," I say, kissing him back.

"True. Is there a way to find out?"

I nod. "I can make some calls."

Our lips brush as we speak in soft tones, and then he's got me wrapped in his arms and the kiss deepens.

I'm lost in the sensations. If I say no, if I shy away again, I lose this.

I know how that feels. It feels much better to be in his arms. His hand skates down my side as the other wraps around my knee, and I can imagine life back in his orbit so easily.

He pulls away after a moment, his own cheeks flushed and eyes bright. "I can make some calls too, Chlo. I'll check in about transferring back to the U. My parents wouldn't mind having me here again, and you could keep building on that foundation you've started."

I trace a finger over his collarbone and think over my racing heart.

"How about this?" I ask, looking up at him, "Let's start by both doing some research.

I'll look into licensing in North Carolina, you look into transferring.

I'll chat with Allie about a roommate, versus selling my condo too.

Then, when we both know what that would look like, we'll sit down and figure out what makes the most sense. "

His smile is quick and bright, his teeth flashing white in my vision. "I like that plan."

We sink into the moment, and I feel at peace for the first time in a long time. Information is something I can work with. Facts are my friends. I know we can come to an agreement that makes sense and I'm giddy enough to grab his face and plant one on him as I laugh.

A throat clears, and I hear Sandra giggle a little as she asks, "Anyone want dessert?"

"I do," Victor says a little too loudly, as they move into the kitchen.

"I'm already having dessert," Holt calls back when I release my hold on him.

I pinch his shoulder and climb off his lap, joining his parents in the kitchen, hope filling my chest.