Page 22 of The Risks of Reuniting (Love Connections #1)

Chloe

It's official. I have my first set of stitches, and they hurt.

I lie in bed Sunday night looking down at the line of black crawling across the top of my left forearm.

I'll have a scar. The doctor didn't even try to pretend I won't. Emilia had prepped me well on the hike back to the Center, and I understood fully that there were no plastic surgeons on site.

It doesn't really bother me. I'll have a cool story some day.

As far as Holt goes, I didn't have it in me to fight when he insisted on being in the clinic with me.

His presence was both comforting and haunting.

He respectfully stayed quiet, and I didn't push back when he insisted on walking with me and Rachelle to our room afterwards.

He was genuinely freaking out over the attack, and I know it threw him for a loop.

It hit me hard too. I do believe that in the heat of that moment he meant what he said, but I think he'll regret it overnight, and I plan to forgive him for his momentary insanity, and move on.

That said, I'm having a hard time pretending the words didn't cut deep. Especially the part about marrying me. It hurts almost as much as my arm does. Because sitting next to Holt in church had not been a bad thing. It had felt familiar and lovely, and . . . I would have married him too.

When we reached the door to our room and Rachelle had gone inside, I held Holt's eyes for a quiet moment .

"Please, please tell me if you need something tonight," he'd whispered.

My lips had tugged up. "Only if you promise to go back and let the doctor look at your eyes," I'd responded, and then watched as he nodded and headed back in the direction of the clinic.

Rachelle hasn't left my side, and she's so great, but right now I feel really lonely.

I'm missing my people. I want my mom scuttling about in her dramatic way, and my dad telling me all the ways I could have avoided it, and even Gavin cracking terrible jokes.

I want Grandma Sue with her fancy perfume and her twinkling rings, and Allie making me my favorite brownies, and my cousins. I want them all.

I take a picture of my gnarly-looking arm and send it to my cousin group chat. My hands are still shaky and I wonder how long that will take to go away.

First things first: Circle of trust. No one tells my parents or Grandma Sue about this. It has to come from me.

Check out my first set of stitches. Chloe – one. Peruvian thugs – zero. No purses were stolen today.

I hope the cellphone angels are on my side and they get back to me soon.

I have scattered cell coverage, and for all I know it'll just hang there in the airwaves until it eventually sends days after I meant for it to.

I'm regretting my cheapskate ways. I should have sprung for the international plan.

I flop back onto my pillow and tears form in the corners of my eyes. It's late. The lamp is off and Rachelle is lying peacefully in her bed.

"Are you okay?" I ask her, feeling bad that I hadn't thought to ask until this moment. "I'm sorry I got so caught up in myself and didn't ask."

She sighs. "Yeah. I don't think any of us are going to glide along like runway models tomorrow, but I'm alright." She hesitates. "I'm going to try not to be afraid to leave the compound."

I make a sound of agreement. "Me too."

"Hey, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want, but I didn't realize you and Holt had history. I thought you were simply acquaintances."

I take a deep breath. Can't blame her for asking.

I'd want to know too. So, even though I'm so rung out, and emotionally in a cold void, I tell her the highlights story.

She silently takes it all in, making sympathetic noises as I narrate.

And when I'm done, I can see her shift in her bed to face me.

"That's a lot, Chloe."

I giggle. "So true."

"It explains why you're sometimes cold to him."

It's a valid insight. "I didn't realize it was noticeable. The way I keep him at a distance."

She laughs. "Oh, friend, it's noticeable."

Then we're both laughing, because it's sort of funny, but really we're releasing all the emotions our bodies have held onto since the mugging attempt. We laugh until my throat is sore, and the tears I'd been feeling come running down my face.

"Okay," she says, breathlessly. "But, explain to me why he isn't cold toward you? You'd think he'd be standoffish, or hold a grudge too. But instead he's, like, super chill about it all."

Hmm. My laughter dissipates as I think about it.

"I have no idea why, but you're right. Why isn't he mad at me?

" I shift my aching arm and move to my side, facing her.

"He hasn't acted upset at all, just happy to see me from the moment we connected in Atlanta.

Maybe it's because that's who Holt is. Life sort of rolls off his back, and he gets over things quickly. "

"Well, he's not over you," she teases.

I sigh, and change the subject. Mostly because I need to overthink that a little. "Things could have been so much worse today."

"I've already said like ten prayers of gratitude," she admits on a yawn.

"It was terrifying." I burrow under my covers further and roll onto my back.

"Totally."

We fall into silence and I wish Holt was holding me. I always found comfort in that.

My phone buzzes with a text alert, and I'm so happy that more tears release, wetting my cheeks.

Dani

I'm at a loss! Please tell me you're okay!

Avery

It's starting to sound like you shouldn't be in Peru . . .

Poppy

What does the other guy look like??

I laugh silently at Poppy's question. The girl knows Tae Bo and I'm suddenly wishing I'd taken her up on her multiple offers to learn a thing or two.

Maybe it would have kept me from getting my arm sliced, which would have kept the entire day from devolving.

I'm going to ask her to instruct me when I get home.

Lucy

Were you alone?

No. I was with a group of friends.

Lucy

Any of them handsome men who chose your safety over theirs?

I laugh again. Lucy loves a good possible love story.

She'd flip if I told her the truth, that yes, there was a handsome man there who chose my safety over his.

My heart thumps heavy in my chest as I recall the way he dove for me, and fought for me, and checked on me when he was busy defending himself.

Some older guys came out and scared the would-be muggers away. No romance blossomed this afternoon.

I feel a little guilty about the pseudo-lie.

I mean, I did get an I love you and and I would have married you , so, that happened.

I briefly wonder how Holt would have reacted if I'd said I love him too.

Then, I wonder if I do still love him. The answer is obvious to my heart before it comes to my mind.

My stomach flips and my chest grows warm.

Of course I still love Holt, but can I trust him?

That's the big question I don't dare to ask.

I want to tell my cousins that Holt is here, but I'm honestly too tired to field all of their questions.

They know him and loved him, and were so upset when we broke up.

They didn't understand it, but they'd tried to be loyal by hating him for leaving me, and I have no idea how they'd react to all of the new developments.

Sadie

I'm just so glad you' re okay!

I love you guys.

They all send back I love you's, and I feel a little better and less alone. My cousins gave me the support I needed tonight, and I fall asleep with my aching arm propped up on a pillow, and my heart feeling a little lighter.

Mon, May 19

Dear familia,

I don't actually want to send this email, but I learned a long time ago that if you hear news about me from someone else, I'm a cooked goose.

Yesterday I survived a mugging attempt. I've attached a picture of my arm – this is mostly for you Gavin because I don't need you telling me it was just a scratch, thanks.

Thankfully, there was a group of us, and then a group of locals came and broke it up, so this was the worst of it.

Others have a black eye, or a scraped knuckle.

One of my friends might need new shoes after she used one to slap a few guys to within an inch of their lives, but it could have been worse.

I'm happy to report nothing was stolen, and my pride is still intact.

I'll have a scar, and I can't wait for the street cred that comes with it. Don't mess with me, I'm tough. I may get a tattoo that turns the scar into a snake or skulls – the jury is still out on that. (Yes, Grandma Sue, I'm kidding)

Other than that, I'm good. I miss you all. Only two weeks until I'm back home. It's flown.

Chloe