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CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

Marissa

With Dozer out of town, I once again throw myself into work and my car to keep myself busy and distracted. The difference this time is that he and I still text and talk on the phone or have video calls when we’re both free. It’s not the same as him being here, and the words, “I miss you,” have been thrown around a lot on both sides, but it’s definitely better than before when we weren’t talking at all.

The real cloud hanging over my head is the fact that I’m going home for Christmas. I’d originally planned on just doing all my Christmas shopping online and having the gifts shipped directly to my family members, but now that we’ll all be together, I’ve done all my shopping in person locally, finding a cute souvenir T-shirt for my nephew, a gorgeous art print of the Olympic Mountains for Lance and Abby, some cool travel gadgets for Gabby and Jonathan, and a gorgeous serving platter for Mom and Dad made by a local artisan. Dad won’t care much about it, but Mom’ll think it’s wonderful. Since the other couples are getting one gift for the both of them, I think it’s only fair Mom and Dad get the same treatment. And if anyone complains that as a single woman, I get all my gifts to myself, well … they’re not the one having to be grilled about their relationship status and hear things like, When are you going to settle down and find a nice man? And, Isn’t it too bad that things didn’t work out with Peter? So I think it’s fair that they don’t get individual gifts.

I double check I have everything while I wait for my ride to the airport to arrive. My car would probably be fine in long term parking, but I know my dad’d have a fit if I mentioned it, so I’m just leaving my car in its usual spot here. It’s not worth having to deal with more of his nonsense if I can help it.

After grabbing my phone charger and tucking it into my suitcase, I zip everything closed, satisfied that I’m ready. Or as ready as I can possibly be, at least. I head down to the lobby to wait for my ride, who should be outside by the time I get down there.

The flight is relatively uneventful. There are a few families who are obviously traveling for the holidays, and while the kids are a little antsy, I can’t really blame them, and my noise blocking headphones and the shows I downloaded before leaving block them out enough that they don’t bother me. There’s an older lady across the aisle who huffs and puffs every time I notice one of the kids going past, but that lady just needs to get herself some earplugs or noise blocking headphones too. Flying means sharing space with other people. Sometimes those people are kids. Get a grip, lady.

When I get to DFW, my parents are waiting for me by the baggage claim, Mom’s face lighting up as she throws her arms wide when she spots me. “Marissa! Sweetheart! I’m so glad you could make it!”

I set my shoulder bag down to return her hug, closing my eyes at the sense of homecoming her hug inspires. “It’s good to see you too, Mom.” Because even if I’d preferred to have stayed in Seattle, that much is still true.

She retreats, and Dad steps forward to give me a gruff, one-armed hug and a pat on the back. “Welcome back, kiddo. It’s weird not having you around. Especially at the shop.”

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is about as close as my dad’ll ever get to saying he misses me. I force a light chuckle. “I haven’t worked at the shop in years.”

Tucking his hands in his pants pockets, he shakes his head. “Still weird. You were there for a lot longer than you’ve been gone. You sure you won’t change your mind and come back? You could have your old bedroom back.”

Mom smacks his arm. “Jon,” she scolds. “Hush.”

I force another awkward laugh. “Thanks for the offer, but I’m pretty happy with my new job.” They actually respect me there. And are willing to promote me. Unlike someone I know, who was only willing to let me run the office but not willing to make me a full partner or even entertain the idea while happily talking about making Peter a partner while we were dating.

Even after we broke up, I heard him mention it a few times. That was what ultimately made me decide to find a different job—the reality that my father would never, ever see me as an equal.

And this—all these feelings brought up by one stupid comment that he and I both know he doesn’t really mean—this is the reason I didn’t want to come home. This is the reason I moved away. Yeah, sure, he kinda sorta wants me around. But more because it’d make Mom happy, which would make his life easier.

God, no wonder I wasted so much time on losers who don’t appreciate me.

As much as I wish Dozer were with me, I’m also glad he’s not here because he’d one hundred percent pick up on the sideways digs from my dad and be pissed off. He’s protective enough, and used to throwing down his gloves and literally duking it out enough, that while I don’t think he’d actually get in a fist fight with my dad, it still seems like a non-zero possibility.

The best choice is just to keep my head down, grit my teeth, and get through this week while making as few waves as possible. On the upside, I’ll get to spend time with my siblings and my nephew. Strength in numbers was always our best bet. And that was never more obvious to me than once they both left.

“Did everyone else get in alright?” I ask as we approach the luggage carousel so I can claim my bag.

“Lance, Abby, and Nathaniel got in last night and are excited to see you. I know you just saw them a few months ago, but you’ll never believe how much Nathaniel has grown in that time! And he’s such a chatterbox now.” I ignore Dad’s eye roll at that comment. I’m sure he has something to say about how bad adding another chatterbox to the mix is. Or that at least he’s a boy, so he’ll probably grow out of it. Or that at least the next generation isn’t trying to overwhelm him with estrogen.

He always groused about him and Lance being outnumbered by women. It was always “just a joke,” of course, but also not really a joke at all.

God, why did I let Mom talk me into this?

Lance greets me first as soon as I get back to Mom and Dad’s house. It’s interesting that leaving Texas is what got me to stop thinking of it as “home.” Even when I had my own place here, coming to Mom and Dad’s was always coming home. But now? Home is in Seattle.

It’s a strange realization, but I’ll have to examine that later.

“You made it!” Lance crows, greeting me with a big smile and a bone-crushing hug.

“I made it. It’s good to see you.”

Stepping back, he reaches for my bag and shakes his head. “It’s sad we both have to travel two thousand miles just to see each other again when we live only a few hundred miles apart!” he quips, heading for the stairs.

Dad follows behind us, grumbling something, and I hear Mom calling after him and telling him to hush, but I ignore both of them.

“Well, you know how it is when you move to a new place for a new job. Things are busy. I haven’t really had any time off since I started.”

“I get it. We haven’t exactly made the effort to come see you, either.” Lance grins at me over his shoulder.

“You’ve got a little one! I’d imagine that makes it harder to travel, too.”

He sighs heavily, turning to give me an exasperated eye roll. “You have no idea.”

Wrinkling my nose, I grimace at him. “Rough flight?”

Another sigh as we reach the top of the stairs and he gestures me ahead of him to my door. “It could’ve been worse, I suppose, but yeah. And we can’t fly direct from Spokane. I almost called to see if we could coordinate being on the same flight from Seattle to here.”

I grin at him, stepping inside my room. “That would’ve been fun. Maybe next time.”

“Definitely.” He drops the bag, then takes my suitcase from Dad, who’s standing in the open doorway.

“You women, always traveling with so much luggage,” Dad grouses, nodding to my suitcase.

I raise my eyebrows. “It’s one suitcase, Dad. I brought my larger one because I have gifts? And I thought I might have things to take home?”

He grumbles something about Abby, and Lance’s jaw ticks. “And we have a toddler. Who needs a lot more stuff,” Lance grits out between clenched teeth.

More grumbling from Dad that’s practically unintelligible as he turns to leave, and I don’t try to make out what he’s saying because I’m sure it’ll just make me mad.

Lance stares after his retreating form, waiting until Dad’s heavy footfalls make it all the way down the stairs before turning to me and hissing, “Was he always this big of a misogynist?”

I have to cover my mouth to stifle the laugh. “Oh, god. Are you seriously just noticing?”

He shrugs uncomfortably. “I mean, I knew he wasn’t what anyone would term progressive , but I guess it never hit me that he was this bad. One of the perks of being away from him, huh?” He gives me a lopsided smile.

“Why do you think I followed you halfway across the country?”

“Uh, ’cause you got a killer job offer?”

Laughing, I nod. “Well, okay, that too. But the reason I even went after that job was because I couldn’t take being here anymore.” I point a finger out at the door. “Listening to that kind of crap growing up, every day at work even after I moved out, and at every dinner Mom invited me to …” I shake my head. “I had more than my fill.”

He rubs a hand over his face, glancing out the door. “I’m surprised you stayed as long as you did, honestly. I know my experience of him was obviously different, but I went to college so far away just to get out from under his thumb too. He had my whole life mapped out from the time I was born, and it didn’t matter to him what I thought at all.”

“Oh, trust me. I remember.” The old, bitter jealousy rises up inside me. Lance was the son Dad wished I was. And I was the one who wished for all the things Lance never wanted—to work alongside him in the shop and inherit it one day. I guess Kane and Daughters didn’t have the same ring as Kane and Sons. Which was also silly, since he only had one son. He changed the name when Mom was pregnant with Gabby, stubbornly refusing to believe Mom would dare to give him another daughter. Sure, he spoiled her rotten when she was a kid, indulging her every whim. But that was because she was the baby, and although he taught her to change a tire and jump a car and all the same basic car maintenance tasks we all learned, she never cared as much as I did. Or as much as Lance had to.

“I know, sis,” Lance says quietly. “He was trying to give me the life you wanted, never acknowledging that he had an heir ready and willing and instead trying to force it on me. It sucked for both of us.”

I blink away the tears that rise at his words and shake my head. “Well, I’m glad you at least managed to get what you want.”

Tilting his head to the side, he gives me a small smile. “But you’re getting what you want now, too, aren’t you?” He gestures around. “No way in hell you’d want to come back here to work for Dad, even if he did promise you the shop when he retires.”

I laugh. “Like he’ll ever retire. That man’ll die with a wrench in his hand, and you and I both know it.”

He laughs too. “True. But you know what I mean.”

“I do. And no, I wouldn’t come back, even if he offered to sign the shop over to me right now. I don’t want it anymore.” That dream died a long time ago, and even the offshoot that sprang up when I was with Peter withered years ago too. I’ve moved on. And Dad’s the one who has to face the reality that he won’t have the legacy he dreamed of when we were kids, and it’s all his own fault. Not that I think he’ll ever admit that, even if it’s the truth.

Lance gives me a hug. “See? We’re all better off. Gabby and Jonathan will be here tomorrow. We outnumber them by a lot. Don’t let his bullshit get to you.”

Chuckling, I pat his back. “I could say the same to you.”

He pulls back and smiles. “Just wait. You’ll probably need to soon. We’ve literally been here twenty-four hours. My son just turned one a few months ago. And Dad’s already started in on how we should all move to Texas so Nate can take over the shop, since I so defiantly rejected him and his plans.”

I roll my eyes, shaking my head. “Poor kid. Good thing you live far away already.”

“Right? Plus we have Abby’s mom as a built-in excuse for why we can’t move closer.”

I nod. “Oh, shucks. Can’t abandon Abby’s mom. She’d be all alone in the world, and who’d want that on their conscience?” I sound sarcastic, but it’s the truth. I don’t know all the details, but I know Lance’s mother-in-law needs a certain amount of looking after. As much as he wanted to get away and stay away, he wouldn’t have had the guts to defy Dad this openly without her mom’s genuine need for help keeping them in Spokane.

A door clicks open down the hall, and Lance pokes his head out, a wide smile taking over his face.

“I thought I heard someone whispering out here,” Abby says, stepping past Lance to offer me a hug. “How was your flight?”

“Boring. Fine.”

She chuckles. “You’re as bad as Lance, never wanting to sit still for that long.” I shrug. She’s not wrong. “I’m glad you made it safely,” she continues. “I just got Nate down for a nap. His sleep schedule’s all over the place right now. I’m hoping tonight won’t be too bad.” She grimaces. “But let’s go get some coffee or something. Or at least, I need some coffee.”

Lance nods. “Same. We can catch up in the kitchen.”

“Let me just get settled,” I tell them. “I’ll be down in a few minutes.”

Nodding, they leave, and I close the door behind them, leaning my head against it and taking a deep breath. Lance is right about one thing. Even without Gabby and Jonathan, we outnumber Mom and Dad. If we stick together, we’ll all get through this.