Page 16

E mbarrassment has me in a silent chokehold as I watch Malorie rush after Ben, and all I can do is watch them leave in disbelief. I can feel Alexander standing firm at my side, and I know he probably riled Ben up on purpose, but I can’t even be mad at him, because from the second I opened the door to my boyfriend this morning, he’s been acting like nothing but an asshole. I don’t even have the energy to ask Alexander how he knew about the ages Ben and I started dating, not when the rest of the table is staring at me with nothing but silent sympathy.

“Excuse me for a moment,” I breathe, pushing past Alexander to get out from the table.

“Erm, Bree, I think we need to talk about the elephant in the room,” Evie starts, but Alexander cuts her off with a warning glare.

“Not now,” he snaps, and again I don’t have the energy to ask what they are referring to, as I rush away from the table and head to the restroom.

Pushing inside, I reach the sink as the first tear starts to fall, and then the second, and I swipe at them furiously because why the fuck am I crying? I didn’t do anything wrong, Ben is the one who ruined lunch and embarrassed me in front of my new friends, and for what? Because he chose to feel inferior? As soon as he saw Jake this morning, standing in his underwear, he decided he was going to let that ruin our time together, that’s on him, not me. Right?

I take a deep breath and grab some tissue to blot my face, taking a few minutes to compose myself before I find the courage to return to the table, but when I open the door to leave, Alexander is there waiting. He is leaning on the wall opposite the bathroom with his legs crossed at the ankle, looking like he doesn’t have a care in the world, but the second his stare meets mine, I can see genuine concern there.

He probably feels just as guilty, and honestly, he didn’t really do anything wrong. Ben saw his jersey in my room and got jealous, which is ridiculous, there is nothing between Alexander and I, but Ben judged him from the get go and now here we are.

“I think I should start calling you Trouble,” I sigh with a huffed laugh, moving to lean on the wall next to him, and he lets out a soft chuckle that scrapes against my bones. “I’m really sorry,” I add in a whisper, and he pushes off the wall and is in my face in an instant.

“What the fuck are you sorry for?” he demands, tipping my chin up so I am forced to look at him. “You did nothing wrong, Aubree, he’s the one who acted like a wanker,” he tells me firmly, and all it does is bring back my urge to cry. “Why the fuck are you dating a tool like that?” he asks, and I huff another laugh, as one more tear escapes, but he catches it with his thumb, swiping it again, and looking at me earnestly while waiting for an answer.

“He’s not normally like that,” I start with a shrug, pulling back from his touch, the moment feeling more intimate than it should between friends, and just like I knew he would, he retreats instantly, so I can take a deep breath. “I don’t have a lot of friends where I’m from, it’s always been me, Ben and Malorie. We were inseparable, so my coming here was a big change for all of us,” I explain slowly, trying to collect my thoughts of everything that has happened today. “I’ve never really had guy friends before, outside of Ben, and honestly, if I turned up at his house and the first thing I saw was a girl in her underwear, and another girl’s clothes in his room, I can’t say I wouldn’t be pissed either.”

I know I shouldn’t be defending him, not after how he just acted, and definitely not after he stormed out, but I can see why he’s so pissed off. We’ve never experienced distance like this before, and it’s not like we have a physical connection to fall back on when things get tough. The only thing we have is love, and trust, and after what he saw today, clearly the latter is an issue for us.

“And this weekend was supposed to be about us spending some time alone, and then Malorie tagged along, so I guess it’s all just a bit too much for him,” I defend with a shrug, forcing my emotions back down, a skill that has become far too easy in the last few months.

“Sounds like he isn’t secure enough in your relationship,” he grunts, seeming more pissed off than I am about the whole thing, and I can’t help but offer him a reassuring smile.

“It’s fine, it will all blow over, Malorie will calm him down,” I tell him with a nod, knowing she’s been a great go between for us since my mom died.

“Yeah, I’ll bet,” Alexander mutters with a shake of his head, and when I look at him with a frown he quickly adds, “You know, since they’re such good friends. Now come on, let’s go have some lunch, the food here is amazing.”

He holds out his arm for me to move first, as I push off the wall. “Eurgh, I want comfort food now, not my stupid steak,” I laugh, just as I spy a waitress dropping off our meals, and Alexander comes to my side matching my step.

“Why? What’s your comfort food?” he asks, and I can tell he is genuinely interested in the answer, and I’m sure if this place sold it he would magically make it appear.

“Mac and cheese, my mom’s was my favorite, but now I have to settle for the fast food variety,” I grumble, wondering what I would give to have one more of my mom’s homemade meals. “But hey, you said the food is amazing, right?”

“Well, it’s not quite your mother’s cooking, but I’m sure it will hit the spot,” he replies gently, and he was right.

When we get back to the table Alexander glares at everyone before Archer quickly jumps in with a ridiculous story, about how he once broke down Nova’s door and covered him in fish guts, that I’m sure they have all heard before. Clearly it’s only for my benefit, but it does the job of changing the subject and effectively moving us on from Ben’s awkward departure.

As it turns out, lunch with Evie and some of the Flyers ends up being the only good part of my day. When I got back to the apartment, Ben and Malorie were nowhere to be found, and it was another hour before they showed up. Malorie was strangely quiet, not bothering to retell what she did in order to calm him down, and Ben was overly apologetic to the point of being slightly annoying. Evie texted not long after to say she was staying at Jake’s house, which given the tension at lunch, I can’t say I blame her. So the three of us settled in for a little less than awkward movie night, before I set up the sofa with some sheets for Ben, and headed to bed with Malorie.

All night I couldn’t sleep, just tossing and turning with an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach that I couldn’t place, and when I woke up this morning and Ben made an excuse about work forcing them to leave early, I felt relieved. I watch them move in sync as they pack up, as if I were on the outside of our little three-way friendship for the first time ever, and unlike the last time we all said goodbye to one another, I don’t feel any sadness. Like last time, Malorie promises she will call me, even though I know she won’t, before she excuses herself to go and wait in the car.

Ben watches her leave, before turning to me with a resigned smile. “I really am sorry about yesterday, pretty girl,” he purrs, pulling me in close until our bodies are aligned. “It just makes me crazy to think about other guys coveting what’s mine,” he adds, sliding his hands down my body, gripping my hips so he can push against me. His arousal is thick between us and he eyes me closely, as if testing my reaction to him.

My mind flicks back to hearing Evie and Jake, to catching Archer and Daemon, and I can’t help but wonder, is it really that simple? Does the ring on my finger even mean anything if I don’t truly believe in it? Maybe I haven’t been waiting for marriage, but for someone to make me feel something worthy of taking that next step, and since being here I feel as if that person isn’t Ben. So am I the problem? Or is he?

“Maybe the next time I visit I can show you just how much you mean to me,” he adds suggestively, his meaning not lost on me, and it’s nothing like the way Alexander lets his innuendos hang in the air between us, and all I can do is force a smile. A smile he must mistake for agreement, because he leans down and kisses me in a way he never has before, it’s insistent and urgent, as he shoves his tongue in my mouth and groans. “You have no idea how much I want you,” he grunts against my lips. “You’re mine, Bree, forever.”

Those last four words sound more harrowing than they ever have before, and as I pull away, I keep my forced smile in place, as I nod my head toward the stairs. “You better go, you don’t want to keep Mal waiting,” I breathe, and I swear he almost rolls his eyes before he catches himself.

“Yeah, well, you’re more important to me than her,” he grumbles, and I shake my head, as he leans in for another swift kiss before pulling back. “I’ll be back soon to show you how much, my pretty girl.”

His parting words stay with me long after he leaves, and I wish they could erase the way he acted yesterday, but they don’t. Instead, that embarrassment of how he not only treated me, but my friends too, lingers for longer than I care to admit, and without Evie around to distract me, I fall into a pit of despair. For the first time in months my grief feels deeper than ever, because all I want to do is curl up in my mom’s arms and have her make it all better. She would always know what to say to me whenever I needed advice, and anytime Ben and I had a disagreement, she would also find a way to make it better. Without her I feel so incredibly empty, and feeling more alone than I have in months, I curl up in my bed and cry.

I’m not sure how much time passes as I let myself fall apart, but when my phone vibrates on the nightstand, I debate ignoring it, but then it goes off again and again, and I groan as I swipe at my stupid tears and lean over to grab it.

Alexander - Hey Trouble, just checking in after yesterday. Hope everything is okay.

Alexander - I promise this is just a check in and not a preempt to dick pics

Alexander - Not that if you wanted dick pics I wouldn’t oblige, because I would

Alexander - I’d just need a bigger phone first ??

Alexander - Oh and if you’re reading this Ben, then I’m just joking

Alexander - I would never buy a new phone just for dick pics

I can’t help but laugh as I read his messages, each one more ridiculous than the last, and just so totally him that I find myself genuinely smiling for the first time all day. Not that I would ever give him the satisfaction of knowing that, and after what he saw yesterday, I feel the need to revert to our usual form of communication.

Aubree - Has anyone ever told you that you’re annoying?

Aubree - Oh and the only person who cares about your dick around here is you

My messages are read instantly, and I ignore the feeling it evokes within me, as I watch the typing bubbles appear and disappear before his first message pops up, followed quickly by a second.

Alexander - I recall a certain troublemaker calling me annoying a few times,

Alexander - Does that count?

I don’t even get a chance to respond before another two messages quickly follow.

Alexander - Oh and I thought lying was a sin?

Alexander - You might want to remember that before saying you don’t care about me and my dick

This time I huff a laugh as I read his messages, not sure if they are maybe a little too intimate given the current subject, yet still I find myself replying, enjoying our little game of back and forth.

Aubree - Murder is also a sin but here I am contemplating

I expect my joke to land well, but as with everything else in life, he is much better at this than me.

Alexander - Things with Ben that bad huh? ??

Alexander - Don’t worry, love, I have a great lawyer on retainer,

Alexander - Do you need help burying the body?

Aubree - Nope I was planning on putting it next to yours…

Alexander - When I envisioned upping your body count, that isn’t what I imagined

The blush that stains my cheeks is instant. When he envisioned upping my body count. Does he mean what I think he means? He’s imagined us having sex? Who am I kidding, of course he has! He’s a walking playboy, even Evie told me what a manwhore he is, which I would believe. Only, I haven’t seen him even look at another girl since I got here, sure I’ve seen them try, but not once has he shown them any interest.

Aubree - You’re an insufferable flirt

Alexander - Only with you, love

Alexander - Now seriously, are you okay?

Aubree - I’m okay

Alexander - Great, now be a good girl and do your homework, I heard your teacher is a royal arse

Aubree - No, he’s worse

We exchange a few more texts, about the work we will be covering tomorrow in our tutoring session, and once he is satisfied I really am okay, he orders me to go and eat some dinner and do my homework. Two things I promptly do, followed by a hot shower, and only once I am back in bed do I realize that he changed my mood entirely, and I’m not sure what’s worse. The fact that I do feel okay, or that he was the one to make me feel that way.