Page 10

CHAPTER 10

A t the top of the staircase, Victoria led Ash down a cream hallway with massive abstract paintings of women lining the walls. It was Astrid’s instructions when she built the house that all the commissioned artwork should be of women, stating she wanted female power flowing through the house. Victoria couldn’t imagine any British royal residence following suit.

“I hope you weren’t overwhelmed by Astrid and Sofia.”

Ash shook her head. “They’re interested in my job, and vice versa. Plus, they put on a mean barbecue. That pork belly was to die for. I can’t eat that the whole year round, but in the off-season, it’s the perfect treat.” She patted her flat stomach. “Let’s hope I don’t look too bloated in my bikini.”

Victoria couldn’t envision Ash looking anything but perfect. “I’m sure you’re going to look stunning.”

It was out of her mouth before she could stuff it back in. She was fairly sure a princess wasn’t meant to say stuff like that. But hadn’t she promised herself she was going to let her hair down this weekend? She’d invited Ash here, after all. Plus, she was telling her the truth.

She came to a stop in front of a pristine white door. “You okay changing in my en suite? I’m not sure which of the other guest bedrooms are taken. I’d hate for you to be half naked and have a Swedish Earl bumble in needing the toilet.”

However, when she walked into her bedroom, Victoria remembered her indecisiveness when she was getting ready that morning. How she wanted to make the best impression on Ash, but also not come on too strong. Particularly when Ash still thought she was straight. Three or four tops were still strewn over the bed. Victoria rushed in and collected them up, depositing them on the chaise longue in the corner, and hiding them under two cushions.

Then she turned to Ash, who looked delicious in her shorts. Footballer’s legs had always been her downfall. She cleared her throat, then ran a hand through her hair and tucked it behind her ear.

In turn, Ash fiddled with the strap of her Gucci bag.

Now that they were alone, Victoria found herself wishing for the buffer of Astrid and Sofia’s chatter.

The silence felt charged, intimate.

Her skin prickled with awareness as Ash watched her.

“Do you come here often?” Ash winced as soon as the words left her mouth. “That was meant to be a genuine question, not a terrible pickup line.” Her cheeks flushed. “Not that I’m... you know what, never mind.”

The reply, “That’s a shame”, danced on Victoria’s tongue, but she swallowed it back.

“We do. It’s a sanctuary of sorts: somewhere we can just be ourselves.” She caught herself almost adding more about Dexter, but stopped. “When Astrid and Sofia visit London, they stay with me, so this is their way of returning the favour. You know what it’s like, being in the spotlight. Fame is rather like the world’s most lavish picnic. Wonderful in theory, but you’re still going to get stung by wasps eventually. It comes with the territory.”

“I like that analogy.”

“Thanks.” Victoria gave her a shy smile. “Anyway, sometimes, when I’m here, it feels like a switch-off from being a princess. Which, behind the glitzy title, is really a job you can never leave. I mean, I could, but I never would. But I can come here and have a break for a few days.” She had no idea why she’d ended up down this conversational cul-de-sac. “You want to get changed first?”

Ash nodded, and stepped into Victoria’s en suite. That was the cue for Victoria to throw all her discarded shirts back into her wardrobe, then plump up her cushions. She didn’t want Ash to think she was a slob.

A few minutes later, Ash emerged from the bathroom, and Victoria instantly forgot every lesson in poise she’d ever learnt. The black bikini top and boy shorts showcased Ash’s athlete’s body: lean muscle and elegant lines that even the loose white cheesecloth shirt she wore on top couldn’t fully conceal. Victoria’s internal agreement not to stare at Ash’s flat stomach was already in tatters. Her eyes traced the subtle definition of Ash’s shoulders, the curve where her waist met her hips. Her mouth went dry.

Ash gave her a wobbly smile as she hoisted her bag, and Victoria’s heart stumbled in its rhythm.

“Do you need to change?”

“I've got my bikini on already.” Victoria’s voice came out steadier than she felt, even as her pulse thundered in her ears. Her gaze betrayed her again, drinking in the sight of Ash’s football-toned legs. A lifetime of diplomatic training, of perfect small talk and careful words, and here she was, struck speechless by Ash Woods in beach wear.

She gestured weakly towards the door. “Shall we?”

An hour later, the whole party had decamped to lounge by the pool or soak up the bubbles in one of the two hot tubs. Victoria and Ash were in a very loose game of water volleyball (no net, the object was to keep the ball from hitting the water). Their opponents were Astrid and Sofia, and the Swedish pair were determined to win so they could say they’d beaten the Lionesses’ captain. However, Ash was ultra-competitive, as was Victoria. So far, it wasn’t going the Swedes’ way.

“Fan i helvete!” Astrid exclaimed as Ash slammed another winner into the water.

Victoria was well aware that meant ‘fucking hell!’ in Swedish.

“I figured it might be easy to beat you at this because it’s not to do with your feet. You can’t be good at all sports, surely? But apparently, you can. Plus, we already know about Victoria’s competitive streak.”

Ash grinned at her as they high-fived their latest winning point, and set themselves for the next serve. Victoria was pleased to have something to do to take her mind off the fact that Ash was still in a bikini, and also that Dexter and Sidney were currently on about their tenth glass of champagne, and lying beside each other poolside finding something hilarious.

It wasn’t unusual at this particular barbecue. Everywhere Victoria looked, there were queer couples of all flavours chatting, laughing, arms around shoulders, sharing kisses. She’d asked Dexter to be discreet, but this was his space. Their space. A party they both agreed was somewhere they could be themselves. She’d invited outsiders in. It was up to her to deal with that, whether she liked it or not.

But first, they had a game of volleyball to win.

“How many points do we have to get to?” she asked.

“You got some place better to be?” Astrid replied.

“Maybe relaxing with a cocktail?”

“Honestly, British royalty. Always so demanding,” Astrid grinned. “It’s first to 25. You’re two points off. We need to start our streak of 15 points to win. We’re ready, aren’t we, darling?”

Sofia nodded, pushing her sunglasses off her face.

Ash slammed the next two points beyond them within 30 seconds, and they won with ease. They all high-fived, got out of the pool and Astrid got more drinks. Victoria opted for champagne, Ash for water, then Victoria led her to the vacant hot tub to their left. Victoria hit the button to get bubbles, and they settled beside each other. She was rarely lost for words, but it appeared to happen a lot around Ashleigh Woods.

When she glanced poolside, Dexter leaned over and kissed Sidney. She closed her eyes briefly, then turned to Ash. She was staring the same way. There was no doubt she’d seen it. It was time to address the elephant in the room. She cleared her throat, took a slug of bubbles, then started to speak.

“I think you’ve probably seen Dexter over there with Sidney. Realised they’re actually together.” Her voice wobbled as she spoke. This was something she’d never done before outside her circle. But something about Ash made her feel like this was okay. That she wasn’t going to betray this confidence.

Hopefully, Ash could join the dots to explain why Victoria had invited her. She summoned up all her courage and ploughed on.

“There are a lot of queer couples here, couples who have very different partners in their public life to keep up appearances. But Astrid’s parties are where we can all come to be our true selves. Including me.” Deep breath in, as she snagged Ash’s gaze.

Damn it, this never got any easier, did it?

“I’m queer. Always have been. As is Dexter.” She paused to gauge Ash’s response, but her gorgeous face didn’t give anything away. “We’re good friends, and this arrangement has suited us both. His parents aren’t accepting. Mine are, but only so far. As you can imagine, queer royals have existed throughout history, but nobody has ever been out. My mother is not keen on that changing.”

Ash’s gaze never wavered as she asked. “And you? Do you want to be out?”

Victoria exhaled deeply and stretched out her left arm. It was nice to be listened to. Nice to be asked what she wanted.

“I think I do. I know it won’t be easy, but I’d rather be honest than sneak around and lie to everyone. My parents always tell me we have an obligation to the country to be dutiful and serve, but surely our happiness has to come somewhere on the list, too?”

Now it was Ash’s turn to exhale. “There was me thinking today was already scoring high on the more surreal afternoons I’ve had in my life by coming to a royal barbecue. But now the future Queen has just told me she’s queer.” But she smiled as she said it.

Victoria frowned. “Is that too much?”

But Ash shook her head. “I picked up something when we met, and today, too. But I would never assume anything. It’s what football has taught me: when it comes to sexuality, many people are on a spectrum.”

“I’d love to say I’m that interesting, but I’m not. I like girls.” Just saying that was freeing. However, it came with an edge of danger, too. Because she was sat half-naked, a little tipsy, in a hot tub with a girl she very much liked. Who, if Victoria wasn’t mistaken, was now looking at her with a very different look in her eye.

“Same,” Ash replied, raising her glass to Victoria. “It seems then, we have something in common.”

Victoria’s insides melted. “I’m very much hoping that we do.” She was rusty when it came to flirting. The bubbles ran out. Ash leaned over and pressed the buttons. Her muscular arms made the hairs on the back of Victoria’s neck stand on end. Ash was ridiculously attractive, and Victoria was about to propose the most ridiculous plan. It had made sense in her head earlier. But now Ash was this close, with flesh on show, she wasn’t so sure.

Ash settled back beside her, then stretched her arms out. Her fingertips brushed the top of Victoria’s shoulder.

Victoria’s breath caught at the ghost of contact, her skin blazing at the site of Ash’s touch.

Yep, she was royally screwed.

The water suddenly felt too hot, or maybe that was just her. She fought the urge to lean into the touch, to close the careful inches between them. The jets churned, but Victoria could hear nothing over the throb of her pulse. She had to hold it together; try to forget about the heat radiating between their almost-touching bodies.

“I have to say, you and Dexter play the part well. Until I met you this week, I would never have known.”

Victoria nodded. “We’re a little too good.” She glanced across the pool. “But he wants to be with Sidney, and I want my real life to begin. The one where I can hold someone’s hand in public.”

Talking about it to another woman — another lesbian — made her feel positively buoyant. Like she’d just inhaled a ray of sunshine.

Crucially, Ash hadn’t jumped out of the hot tub and headed home. That was a good first step. The trouble was, Victoria had no idea what the next step might entail.

“Your parents know you’re queer?”

Victoria nodded. “Yes, and they’re fine with it in principle. However, they’d be happy for me to have a sham marriage, and just see women on the side. But that’s exhausting and ultimately, I know it’ll affect my physical and mental health. I’d rather deal with whatever comes with being out than the other way around.”

She fixed Ash with her gaze. “If it helps, you’re the first woman I’ve ever invited here myself. The first one I’ve felt a connection to who I met independently.” It was a big deal, Astrid was right. “I wanted you to know. If I kiss someone, start anything with someone, I have to put my cards on the table because of who I am. Am I going mad, or did you feel something between us the moment we met, too?”

Ash licked her lips and swallowed hard. She didn’t reply straight away.

Victoria’s heart shrivelled to the size of a pea. How quickly could she disappear under the water? Right at that moment, the bubbles ran out again. Dammit, what was wrong with them? The water stilled, echoing Victoria’s heart.

But then, Ash shook her head. “You weren’t going mad. I felt it, too. I wouldn’t be here today otherwise. I had to come and see if what I thought was true. If you were queer. And you are. Also, very attractive. Which makes life that little bit more complicated, doesn’t it?”

Her fingertips brushed Victoria’s shoulder again, and pinpricks of joy rushed through her. She was hyperaware of everything: the soft lap of water against skin, the afternoon air on her face, but mostly Ash’s presence beside her, real and solid and wanting her back.

“I guess you could say that. But you’ve seen my friends. You didn’t run after half an hour.” She paused. “Would you like to kiss me?”

Ash narrowed her eyes, blew out a breath, then gave a hesitant nod. “Is that a trick question?”

“No, but I just wanted to check.” Victoria dropped her gaze to Ash’s lips. Pink, pretty, beyond inviting. “I really want to kiss you, too.” Heat swelled in her. Understatement of the year.

“Is it a princess thing to be this forward?”

Victoria smiled, then took a deep breath. “This is not usually me. Nor is what I’m about to say. But because you are who you are and I am who I am, I’m going to suggest something radical.”

“Okay?”

“I need time to break up with Dexter, and I don’t want to drag you into that. I want you to enjoy the rest of your holiday with your friends, I’ll go back to London, and then I go to Australia and New Zealand for four weeks on a state visit.” She could see the confusion on Ash’s face.

“What I’m saying is, think about if you really want to kiss me. Because it wouldn’t end there, I guarantee it.” The attraction between them was too strong. It was almost like a magnetic pull, drawing them together. So far, Victoria had fought it all the way, but it was getting harder by the minute.

When she looked up, Ash’s heated stare burned her skin.

Victoria shook her head. “What I mean is, I come with a lot of baggage, a lot of conditions.” She really wasn’t selling this very well. “But I really want to try dating, perhaps a relationship, and give it my all.” And now she’d said too much, hadn’t she?

Ash sucked on her bottom lip, but then fixed Victoria with her perfect gaze. “And here was me thinking I was just in a hot tub with a gorgeous woman.”

Victoria's heart didn’t just skip a beat: it detonated. The simplicity of Ash’s words stripped away all her careful defences. Every cell in her body screamed want.

“How I wish it was that easy.”

A trail of water worked its way down Ash’s cheek.

Victoria desperately wanted to reach out and touch it. She sat on her hands to stop it happening.

“First, you need to work on your sales pitch,” Ash told her. “Everyone comes with baggage. Even if yours is heavier than normal, it’s outweighed by your beautiful face, surely.”

Victoria’s heart thumped loud. Ash was far better at flirting than she was. Which wasn’t hard.

“Second, now you keep talking about kissing, I really want to kiss you.” Ash did the unthinkable. She shifted closer, until their mouths were centimetres away.

“I understand you want to make a clean break first. I respect that. But I came especially to see you. Plus, he’s over there kissing someone else. Aren’t you allowed to do the same? What if we just tested the water? Just an exploratory kiss, to see if we’re compatible?”

Victoria’s lungs forgot how to work as Ash’s breath touched her lips.

“Don’t make this any harder.” The words barely made it past her lips. How she wanted to throw caution to the wind, to taste Ash’s lips. But she couldn’t. Because she knew herself and she didn’t want to fuck this up.

Nothing could happen until the Dexter split was done and dusted. Yes, he was kissing Sidney, but she wanted to start whatever this might be with a clean slate. Because as soon as she kissed Ash, it wouldn’t stop there. She was certain of that. She had to sort out her fake relationship before she started a possible real one.

“I’ve got your number. I promise I’ll call you when I’m back.” Each word cost her, fighting against every instinct that urged her to pull Ash to her. “Just so you know, I always keep my word.”