Page 5 of The Poster Boy (Love The Game #3)

Jay

“ J ay Brookbank, you are a sour old goat.” Boone glared at me. “I can understand why Church might be a little pissy meeting Myers, but what crawled up your ass?”

Boone waited until we were sitting down, on our second round, and Church had gone to the bathroom before interrogating me. The trouble with that was that I was two drinks in, and I hadn’t been expecting the question, so my defenses were down, and I actually answered him.

“I can’t stand him,” I told Boone. Once the words were out, it was like popping the cork off a champagne bottle.

“It’s not like he’s the only out player in any sport, but for some reason, he's became the media darling representing gay athletes. I’m just tired of seeing his face everywhere.

” His stupid, pretty face, with piercing blue eyes and his blond hair that had been cut into a boy-next-door style, but was a bit longer now.

Boone shook his head like a disappointed parent might. “You need to play nice. ”

“Who said I wouldn’t? I’m still going to kick ass on the ice. I just don’t want to be his friend.”

Boone’s disappointment deepened, but he dropped the subject because Church slid back into the booth.

“Maybe it’ll be a good thing, having a new kid on the team.” Church reached for one of Boone’s fries.

Boone wasn’t as strict with his diet as Church was. Boone had trouble keeping weight on during the season, but Church didn’t have that issue.

“Figure some healthy competition will light a fire under you?” Boone pushed his plate of fries closer to Church.

“It can’t hurt. We all know I’m already shit right now. It’s not like his presence will make me worse.”

If Boone was the optimist, Church was the realist. And I was definitely the pessimist. I didn’t like Myers’ circus of media attention. Or Myers. Or the way the league held him up as some sort of gold standard.

Boone eyed me with suspicion but said nothing. Not in front of Church. My dislike for Myers was going to be a secret between the two of us. The fact that I’d said anything at all made me feel sour, like I’d been tricked.

Church stole another fry. “Might even be good for my game. The kid is good; maybe it will rub off.”

“You’re good, Church.” I wasn’t so great with praise, and I seldom dished it out. Church’s eyes went wide, and he shot me a grin.

“Wow, I must really suck if Jay is trying to make me feel better.” Church flashed me a beaming smile.

His tone had lightened since we’d sat down.

Clearly Church had started to feel better about the whole thing.

Now I just had to get my brain on board and find a way to play it cool around Myers.

I didn’t want the whole team to know that I hated him.

I might be an asshole, but I wasn’t that kind of asshole.

I didn’t want anyone to mistreat him just because of my own dislike.

I scowled at my friend. “I’m allowed to be nice, you know.”

“I know. It’s just weird, that’s all. You usually have nothing to say, so your compliment caught me off-guard.”

“Wow, you’d think I was never nice to you.”

“You’re not,” Church stated. “You’re a good friend.

You’re there when shit matters, on and off the ice.

And part of the reason you’re so good in your position is because you’re not nice.

You expect a lot from everyone, but you expect three times as much from yourself.

And you almost never compliment anyone.” He leaned back and took a slow sip of his drink.

His tongue flicked out over his lips before he spoke again.

“So when Jay Brookbank tells me I don’t suck, I’m going to believe him. ”

Sometimes I hated that these men were family to me.

It meant they knew things about me that I thought I kept under wraps.

But spending the bulk of your time around the same people meant that you’d learn all kinds of shit about them.

Even things you thought they didn’t know.

Or things you might not have figured out yourself yet.

Like at hockey camp when Kai Chambers caught me alone, pinned me to the wall, and kissed the living daylights out of me.

I hadn’t even known that I was bisexual until that kiss.

And all Kai did when he finally broke away, panting and pink-cheeked, was look at me with his sparkling smile and proclaim that he knew it all along.

I shut him up with my mouth because I hadn’t known it all along. Not until that kiss. Not until his mouth met mine and my body reacted, urging me to get closer to Kai instead of pulling away. It had been a defining moment for me.

Just like the first time Boone had dragged me out for drinks.

It had just been the two of us and though I’d tried at first to hold up my end of the conversation, Boone soon took over and I sat back and let him.

He talked through drinks and dinner and another drink and as we stood on the curb waiting for our Uber, it hit me that he was still carrying the conversation.

I thought for sure it would be the last time Boone would want to hang out with me, but he asked me to hang out the next day after practice.

And the next. And after several days in a row of us going out and Boone doing most of the talking, I looked at him and asked him why he wanted to hang out with me.

“Well, we’re friends, right? And friends hang out.”

“Yeah, but I don’t say much.”

Boone’s smile could have powered the entire arena it was so bright. “And I say too much. We’re a perfect match, Brooksie.”

And just like then, Boone carried the conversation between the three of us. Every so often I’d chime in with a quip or a story of my own, but mostly I let Boone do the talking. Besides, my mouth had already gotten me in enough trouble.

I could still feel the weight of Boone’s disappointment in me over my remarks about Myers. It didn’t sit right with me for him to feel that way. It wasn’t often that I felt like I was a bad person, but Boone’s disapproval about my opinion sat in my guts like a stone.

Calling it a night, Church dipped out first and went home to his cat.

Boone went home with me. We hadn’t lived together at first, but when we traveled we always shared a room, and then one day the pipes in his condo burst and he needed a place to stay while they did the repairs…

and he just never left. Living with Boone was a bl essing and a curse, though, because I couldn’t escape his scrutiny.

We walked the few blocks to the building we lived in.

Some of the guys lived further out, but Boone and I preferred to be close to the arena.

In the off-season, we usually rented something near his family who lived a few hours outside Vancouver.

They’d accepted me like I was one of them.

Sometimes Boone joked that they loved me more than they loved him, but he didn’t seem to mind.

And I got the impression that even if it were true, he would be happy for me.

Which made me feel like the world’s biggest asshole when it came to Myers. But no matter how many times I told myself that my dislike of Myers wasn’t his fault, that it was just me being stupid, the feeling didn’t go away, and I didn’t know how to pretend that it had.

We reached our apartment, a spacious two-bedroom with a killer view of the arena.

Boone’s family got a kick out of our obsession with the place.

His brother had proclaimed that he’d die if every time he looked out the window he was faced with his job.

But Boone reminded him that he only felt that way because he hated his job.

Boone went to the fridge and grabbed a couple bottles of water. He handed one to me and cracked his open. Leaning against the counter, his gaze bored into me. “You are going to play nice tomorrow, right?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” I furrowed my brow.

“Because you hate him.”

“I’m also a professional.”

Boone shot me a shit-eating grin. “You get paid big bucks to professionally flatten people who displease you.”

“I’m not going to flatten the new goalie.”

In response, he gave me some side eye.

“I promise not to flatten the new goalie.”

Boone accepted my promise and pushed away from the counter. He clapped me on the arm on the way past. “I’m going to call home.”

“Tell everyone I said hello.”

Dropping down onto the couch, he flipped open his laptop. “You can stick around for a few minutes, can’t you? Say hello to the family. Mom wants to have us over for dinner soon.”

“As if she needs to ask. Of course I’ll be there.”

Boone’s family had basically adopted me.

Once they found out I was estranged from my parents and didn’t have any other relatives to root for me at the games, they’d taken me under their wing.

I was an honorary Weimer, complete with a monogrammed Christmas stocking and the kind of interrogations you only got from parents who gave a shit.

The last time I’d spoken to my parents was when I’d introduced them to a guy I’d been seeing.

He was a musician I’d met on Grindr. I hadn’t intended to introduce him to my parents because things weren’t serious between us, and we both knew it.

I traveled a lot, and he was aromantic. He liked sex, and he liked having friends to have sex with.

He didn’t even mind if I referred to him as my date.

It was easier to explain to people being on a date than it was to explain that it wasn’t a date, but it wasn’t not a date.

It was two men who liked each other, who understood what the relationship really was, and where the boundaries were.

My parents walked into the restaurant we’d been eating at just in time to see Matt lean over and kiss me. Their words still swam around in my head, so clear that it was almost like they were speaking directly into my ear.

Still doing that, are you? Thought you’d have grown out of it by now .

To his credit, Matt had my back and squeezed my hand under the table as I sat there dumbstruck. I still couldn’t remember what else had been said. I remember Matt asking for the check and paying the bill, then taking me home.

That was the last time I went out with Matt. Not because he wanted to stop seeing me when he could, but because I couldn’t look at him without hearing my parents' voices. Besides, I wanted more than Matt could give me, and we both knew it.

Matt wanted friends, lovers. Not boyfriends.

Not romantic attachments. He wasn’t wired to love people.

He said he had a great affection for me, and he enjoyed our time together.

And when I asked him about not wanting a boyfriend, but wanting to go on dates, he gave me the gentlest smile he could and said that eating alone got boring, and he got tired of getting looks from people who thought he ought to feel sad about enjoying his own company.

The sound of Diane’s voice transported me away from memory lane and back into reality. Boone’s mom looked too young to have four kids. Boone was the oldest at twenty-seven. The youngest was seventeen and would be off to college next year.

“Boone, sweetie. Oh, and Jay. I get to talk to both of my boys today.” Diane turned and spoke to someone off-camera. “I’m on a call with the boys. Come say hello.”

Murphy, Boone’s dad, came into view. I smiled at the way Diane immediately took over the conversation, talking too much for Murphy to get a word in edgewise. He caught my eye in the camera, and we shared a secret smile as Boone and his mom competed for the title of biggest chatterbox.

Being taken in by the Weimers had been a huge change for me. But sometimes, I admitted, change wasn’t all bad.