Page 32 of The Poster Boy (Love The Game #3)

Marek

J ay and I stayed in my hotel room until it was nearly time for us to get on the bus and head to the airport.

He kissed me like he’d never see me again, then met me down in the lobby ten minutes later.

Part of me waited for him to ignore me, as had been our usual dynamic in public, but he walked right over to me, bumped his shoulder into mine, and launched into a conversation about the upcoming game.

Church would be joining us in the next city, but there was no word on if he was going to start or not. I hoped he would so I could spend the game on the bench staring at Jay.

I still found it hard to believe that Jay had shown up at my room last night.

He had every right to be angry with me still, but he wasn’t.

I tried to tell myself that now, even as we stood inches apart.

This should be enough. He was standing next to me in public.

Talking to me. He was even touching me. It was easy to make even a spacious hotel lobby seem cramped when you had an entire hockey team standing around in it.

Jay’s arm brushed up against mine until it was time to get on the bus.

Could people see the lovesick way I looked at him?

Could the guys tell where he’d been last night just by looking at him?

Was I being too obvious? Standing too close?

My brain wouldn’t stop obsessing about him.

I didn’t want to be the reason he was outed, and apparently that was enough to make my brain enter crisis mode.

Jay followed me onto the bus and slid in the seat next to mine.

“Are you okay?” he asked, leaning in close so he could lower his voice.

“I’m fine.”

He scowled. “That sounds suspicious as fuck, Marek. Only people who aren’t fine claim to be fine.”

“Well, I am. Fine, I mean.” I glanced at Jay. “Maybe a little tired.”

He smirked. “Sorry about that.”

Something about the way Jay looked at me made it easy for me to forget that we were, in fact, surrounded by people. An entire team of hockey players who loved gossip more than a school cafeteria full of teenagers.

Griffin, who’d sat in the seat ahead of us, turned around and eyed me suspiciously.

“Why would Jay be sorry that you’re tired?” His eyes ping-ponged between us.

“Because…” Jay sounded calm, like he’d already rehearsed the perfect cover story for us. “I kept him up doing this.”

Before I could compute as to what was happening, Jay had turned in his seat and pulled me toward him, sealing his mouth over mine. In front of Griffin. In front of everybody.

The bus exploded into a cacophony of rowdy cheers. The roar was deafening, and it didn’t stop when Jay pulled away and grinned at me and the way my brain still hadn’t registered what happened and what it meant.

“No shit?” Griffin said, looking at Jay, then at me, then at Jay again.

“No shit.” Jay settled back into his seat and dropped a hand onto my lap, palm up, fingers spread.

When I didn’t clue in right away, he huffed and grabbed my hand, lacing our fingers together.

“Obviously, this isn’t press fodder. For now, I’m happy to let Marek be the poster boy for queer players.

But I don’t want to hide it from the team. The team is the only family I’ve got.”

I squeezed Jay’s hand because that’s how I felt. Kelsey finally had her own life. She’d always be my family, my sister, but now my tiny, fractured family had expanded to include Boone, and his family, and Andrew. And Griffin. And Church, and everyone else on the team.

“I feel bad for their roommates,” one of the guys said from the back. “They won’t be getting much sleep on away games.”

The bus filled with laughter and a series of raunchy jokes.

They were meant in good fun, and that’s how I took them.

Boone was the one who made everyone laugh harder when he proclaimed that he’d be rooming with Church from now on.

And investing in noise cancelling headphones when I came over to see Jay at home.

By the time we got to the airport, it had been decided that Jay and I would share the cost of Boone’s new headphones because we were the reason he needed them. Their gentle teasing felt like acceptance. Jay coming out to them had gone better than any of my trips out of the closet had gone.

I’d come out to my parents and been met with bigotry.

I’d been outed to the world and been met with a mixture of acceptance and derision.

But with the team, there was nothing but love for him.

For us. Their playful banter and enthusiastic acceptance healed something in me that maybe I hadn’t realized was broken.

I would not cry in front of a bus full of guys, but I would squeeze Jay’s hand really fucking hard and focus on taking deep breaths.

Boone draped himself over the seat and grabbed me in a headlock.

He scrubbed his knuckles over my skull, ruffling my hair and distracting me from the abundance of emotions that threatened to burst out of me.

By the time we got to the airport, Jay and I were old news according to the guys, who had moved on to other important topics like the fact that Vasily had knocked up his longtime girlfriend.

A fight nearly broke out in the back between the two players who both decided they’d be the godfather to the child.

Jay leaned in close as the bus came to a stop. “We’ll be the cool gay uncles.”

When he dropped my hand so we could file off the bus, it didn’t feel like a rejection.

My chest loosened and a few of the lingering fears I had fell away, making me lighter.

I’d worried that I’d want more from Jay than he was willing to give.

That coming out to the team wouldn’t be enough if he didn’t hold my hand through the airport.

That sneaking a kiss on the team bus wouldn’t be enough if he didn’t tongue-fuck my face in front of half the city.

I’d been terrified that I’d keep moving the goal posts on him and that he’d never be able to keep up.

But Jay claiming me in front of the team settled my silly heart down. The important people knew about us. Well, most of them. Once we were on the plane and safely tucked away from prying eyes, I leaned in close to Jay and snapped a selfie of us together.

I sent it to Kelsey with a caption that read my defenseman.

“You think she’ll know what that means?”

Kelsey responded almost immediately with a string of heart emojis and demands that I call her as soon as I could because she wanted details. I tipped my phone toward Jay so he could see.

“I think she gets it.” I got it too. I understood how fucking lucky I was to have gotten here.

It hadn’t been an easy road to end up next to Jay Brookbank, his knee pressed against mine, his hand resting possessively on my thigh, but it had been worth every shitty moment.

Every doubt and every stupid invasive interview question.

“There’s a big media gathering this summer after the regular season.

Some kind of LGBTQ people in sports summit.

I’ve been invited to participate. The goal is to bring awareness to some of the changes that need to happen in sports and sports culture to make it a more accepting environment. And I know you hate the media stuff.”

“I just hate how pushy they are. How all they care about is if you’re still dating that movie star asshole.”

I turned to face Jay, who clenched his jaw.

“Jay Brookbank, are you jealous?”

He answered with a stony silence, then a sigh. “Probably. But look, you’re a great goalie, and all the questions they’d ask you weren’t about the game half the time. It pisses me off. Like suddenly the most interesting thing about you is if you have a boyfriend or not.”

“Well, that’s why I want to do the summit. If I can drive some kind of change, I’d like to try. Besides, I am the poster boy. They need me there. ”

“Can you bring a plus one?”

“You’d want to go with me?”

“Yeah, why not? I’m going to want to come out eventually, like officially and shit.”

“For real?” A new kind of hope bloomed in my chest. One for summer vacations on sandy beaches with just Jay and me and a couple of towels. Of lazy days and dinners out, and all the other things I’d never gotten to experience before.

“Yeah. For real.”

“You know, Jay, for a guy who's never had a boyfriend before, you’re doing a pretty good job so far. I’d give you at least an eight out of ten.”

“Only an eight? I’ll have to step up my game.” Jay squeezed my thigh and my heart did a little swooping motion, dipping down into my stomach to dance with the butterflies there.

“You’re doing fine. No rush.”

Church didn’t start in the game that night so I had to pull out a miracle and keep my eyes on the puck and not my boyfriend.

When we won, and he was among the first to skate up to me and tap his helmet against mine, his smile had an extra twinkle to it.

And while we kept our lovey-dovey shit, as Boone called it, to a minimum in the locker room after, Church and Boone had quickly played musical roommates so Jay and I could share and not traumatize them.

Jay unlocked our hotel room, and I followed him inside.

“It feels weird to not have to sneak around,” I admitted, wrapping my arms around Jay from behind. Burying my face in his neck, I took a deep breath. He smelled of soap and skin. We’d just gotten clean, but I wanted to dirty us up again .

“If you want, you can leave and roam around the hotel for a few minutes and pretend you’re sneaking in here.”

“Maybe there’s an unlocked supply cupboard we could make use of.” I slid my hands down his chest, not intending to go anywhere.

“That was really hot. I thought for sure we were going to get busted, though.” Jay tilted his head, giving me access to his neck. Permission granted, I kissed the delicate skin below his ear.

“I can’t believe you came out to the team for me.” Closing my eyes, I rested my forehead on Jay’s shoulder. He turned in my arms and wrapped his around my waist. Warm hands slid under my shirt, then down the back of my pants, cupping my bare ass.

“I want to be someone who deserves you.”

Pulling back, I looked at Jay.

“I want to be someone you’re proud to be with,” he continued. “Someone you don’t regret.”

My lips tugged themselves into a smile. “And you’re worried about being a good boyfriend? You really don’t need to be worried about that. You’re doing a hell of a good job so far.”

“Yeah?” Jay looked like a kid on Christmas. Like my approval was the gift he’d been waiting for. “Do I get a treat?”

Tilting my head, I pretended to think about it. “You get me.”

Jay brushed his lips over mine. “Best treat ever.”