27
Cheat
T he movie Jay and I started a little while ago is not holding my attention. At all . The town has been quiet for the past few days, even if I've torn all across the forest. Ran with abandon after the White's departure.
Jay's birthday is coming up, and I don't know what to get him. I've made some things in the forge that he might like, but I don't know. It doesn't feel adequate.
Combined with my anxiety over whatever is happening between Saint and me, my worries about Jay's birthday are likely to send me careening off of a cliff.
Aggie's advice keeps rattling around in my brain: Just tell Jay. Minutes drag by with the movie droning on and on until finally, I can't take it anymore.
"I have to tell you something," I say, picking at the skin around my pointer finger. The nail has regrown a bit, but not much. We're lying on the bed, and the house is otherwise quiet. Snow falls outside, big flakes clinging to window panes, piling up on the tree branches.
"What's that Gorgeous?" Jay asks, turning to look at me fully, biceps flexing on either side of his head. Today, his eyes are slightly more green than blue. He's not wearing a shirt, which is a distraction. So is our blanket bunched up around his hips.
"I think… well." Suddenly, my tongue is tied in knots, and I don't know what to say or where to begin. I feel like I am going to puke if I move. If I breathe.
Jay seems to notice my distress. "You can tell me anything, Darlin'."
" Ugh , you're so nice, and you look like that , and I'm a fucking mess," I grumble, covering my flaming face with my hands. Jay with bed head and bedroom eyes is a killer combination.
"Darlin, what's going on?" Jay murmurs, tugging gently on my hands to bare my face to him.
" Ugh !" I grumble again, more than a little embarrassed and worried. Staring straight in his eyes, I decide just to blurt it out. Rip off the bandaid. " I have feelings for Saint."
"You do?" Jay asks, pressing a kiss on the pounding pulse point of my wrist.
I sigh at the contact, mumbling a resigned " yes."
"Why does that make you sad, Gorgeous?" Jay asks, leaning on his elbow, searching my face.
"BECAUSE!" I jerk upright, nearly standing from the bed, but Jay doesn't let me go that far. "You're amazing and wonderful and too good for me because your birthday is in a few weeks, and I'm sitting here wondering if another three-way with Saint would count as a gift!" I wail, flopping back against the pillows.
He chuckles softly at my dramatics before asking another question. "So you like being shared?" His arm flexes his arms around my middle as he kisses along my collarbone.
"Yes, I liked it, you simpleton ." I sass, flicking the back of his head in frustration. He bites my nipple through my shirt in return, and I stifle a moan with a surprised gasp.
"Don't get bratty, Artemis," Jay commands, sending a shiver down my spine. "I need to know if you like these types of things. I'm not looking to fuck this up by pushing your boundaries."
"I'll do what I want, Jay." I immediately fire back.
"Do you mean who you want?" His question makes my stomach turn.
" No, that is not what I meant." It's about more than just sex with Saint. I don't know how it happened, but the curly-haired fuck wormed his way into the confines of my heart.
"You can, though. I'm not your master," Jay responds softly, shifting to lay between my thighs.
"No, but that doesn't mean I want to cheat on you either," My heart still feels like it's going to burst, but the adrenaline-fueled stomach ache is gone.
"You can't cheat on me. Not with Saint," Jay murmurs, pressing kisses along my collarbone.
"Why does Saint get a special pass? And how can I not cheat on you?" Neither of those sentences makes sense.
"Saint is Pack, just like you are. If you like him and he likes you, I'm not about to intervene with Fate."
"So now you believe in Fate?" I ask. I had not been prepared for this conversation, but even in my head, I hadn't been delusional enough to think Jay would be fine with this… His reassurances that he doesn't do jealousy be dammed.
"I believe in the universe, Gorgeous. I believe choices are put in front of us for a reason. Is not being with him like you're with me making you unhappy?"
I hesitate long enough for Jay to answer for me. "Saint is part of our equation now," Another kiss along my collarbone, up my throat.
"What happened to being the most selfish man alive when it came to me?" I ask, not having to try too hard to sound hurt. I like being shared by Jay and Saint, but I don't want this to turn… casual. I want Jay, and I want Saint. All to myself.
"If you don't think I selfishly want every moment of your time, all of your attention, then you are very incorrect, Darlin'."
"So why are you so okay with this, then?" I ask. Jay Temple, it seems, is still a mother fucking mystery to me.
"Because even though I want you all to myself, he makes you happy too. I won't stand in the way of that." Jay answers softly, holding my hand to press a kiss to my knuckles.
"And that's it?"
"Let me put it this way, Gorgeous," Jay grates, rising on his knees above me. In the half-lighting of the room, his muscles gleam, shadows playing on his skin. There's a new thrum in my blood, a new need with him staring at me like that.
"Are you going to spout logic at me, Handsome?" I pout, trying to keep a lighter thread to this conversation.
"Yes, and you're going to listen," Jay commands, eyes zeroing in on me.
"Yes sir," I sass, and Jay grumbles before continuing.
"Does liking him change anything between us?"
"No," I immediately reply, "I love you. I always have."
"I love you too," Jay smiles softly before continuing, lazily running fingers up my bare thigh. "So logically , we're good there."
"Mhm," I agree, watching his chest rise and fall.
"Is there room for both of us here?" he murmurs, wolfish eyes locked on my center where he now softly circles my clit with his thumb over my panties. He's barely touching me, slowly grazing over nerves as he watches his fingers trailing over my body.
"Yes," I gasp, heartbeat ratcheting impossibly higher
"And how about here? Is there room for us both here?" Jay asks again, tapping my chest twice.
"Yes," I repeat, widening my hips for him. Jay's eyes flash silver, and I feel my entire body flush with heat.
"Then, logically , I don't see a problem, Gorgeous." He slowly lowers himself, laying softly between my thighs again.
"So now what?"
"Now, you need to tell him," Jay replies softly, running his hands under my shirt to lightly grip my ribs. "And stop making him second-guess himself." Now, I can barely focus.
"What do you mean?"
Jay's effect on me is immediate. My voice has turned light and breathy, and there is an echoing pulse between my hips where we touch.
"I mean, the way you frustratingly run hot and cold has messed with his head. He's doubting his intuition, his wolf now. You should apologize," Jay replies while kissing down my throat.
"I didn't do anything!" I start to shout, but it turns into a moan at the end when Jay closes his mouth around a peaked nipple through my shirt.
"I know. Saint will learn your moods, but you should apologize for pushing him away." Jay replies, spanning my ribs with his hands.
"I was just trying not to be an awful person," I grouse, moaning as Jay bites down on my neck. The feeling sits on the border of pain and pleasure, but the accompanying thrust of his hips against my soaking center tips the sensation to the side of the latter.
"You aren't. You're wonderful. Look at you, opening up for me," Jay replies, pulling my shirt the rest of the way off, hooking my leg over his mountainous shoulder.
"Ha-ha. I see what you did there," I joke, hearing the double meaning. With Jay above me like this, I can't be liable for anything that comes out of my mouth next.
"And I see you. Always have, Artemis. Now show me how you play with that pretty pussy when you're alone or in the shower ," Jay's smile turns feral, hungry.
My cheeks flame, thinking back to when I'd gotten myself off in the shower just after moving into the Grimes place. "How do you know about that?"
Jay's smile cannot be categorized as anything but wolfish now. "If there is one thing I've committed to memory, it's what you smell like when you cum, Darlin."
"Oh ."
Jay inhales deeply, his eyes flashing silver again.
"And if there are two things?" I ask, running my hands along the panes of his stomach.
"The way your eyes disappear when you really smile," Jay's words make a smile appear across my face, even if it turns into a moan when his thumb traces my nipple through my shirt.
"So you don't like my eyes?" I simper, knowing the more I ignore his order, the more dominant he'll be with me. Something about the way Jay takes control makes me fucking feral. My nails rasp against his skin as I slip them under his shorts. Jay's skin is hot, almost feverish. It makes me want to burrow into his flesh and live there forever. Or at least until the sun comes back.
"I love those beautiful things, Artemis. Don't twist my words. Now do as you're told." Jay commands again, grinning.
"Or?" I ask, raising my eyebrows and running my fingers against the hardening length of him through his shorts.
"You'll do it after I've made you cum so much your legs tremble, and your pussy clenches so hard it nearly strangles my dick and is so sensitive you want to cry. But you'll play with this pretty pussy for me, one way or another."
"You think so?" My breath practically stalls in my lungs, the prospect Jay is mapping out is incredibly tantalizing.
"Oh, I know so, Gorgeous." Slowly, Jay pulls his boxers down, baring his thick cock to me and stroking himself. Waiting for me to do the same.
My mouth waters as I say, " Make me, " brandishing a sweet smile.
Jay's smirk turns wolfish as he descends. Fabric rips when he grabs my panties and tears them clean off. Then he's closing his mouth over my clit and sucking hard.
"What is it with you two and tearing my panties off?" I gasp, arching into the contact.