Page 114 of The Other Brother

I snort. “It’s the newsflash of the day. Surprise! Ryan has feelings.”

“Have you told Cody about how you feel?”

I roll over to face the ceiling. “Yeah, I told him. It’s not enough.”

“Are you sure?”

“What do you mean?”

Mel shrugs. “I’ve seen you two together. And he looks at you like you’re the best thing since Netflix.”

“It’s not enough for him.” I kick at my sheets angrily. “I’m not enough for him.”

“I don’t think that’s what is happening here,” Mel says slowly.

I laugh the world’s most bitter laugh. “You and Kate already told him that, remember? Told him he could do better than me. My whole life, all I’ve heard is how I’m not as good as Cody. I’m not good enough for him. That’s what it boils down to, isn’t it?”

Mel bites her lip, releasing it so there is an indent. “It’s more complicated than that.”

“Yeah, I get he can’t get over your dad’s disapproval, and with Heather being sick and all, he doesn’t want to rock the boat. I get that… but…”

“But what?”

“I wouldn’t just rock the boat. I’d sink a fucking battleship for him.” My voice starts off fierce, but it drains away so the only thing left is a choking sadness.

Mel just stares at me. “Sometimes loving someone means giving them space to figure out their shit,” she says softly.

I shoot a look at her. But I don’t argue with her about the assumptions in that sentence.

We sit there in silence for a few minutes. Before suddenly she reaches forward and whips the duvet off me.

“Come on, sleeping beauty. You need to get going, or you’re going to be late.”

“Bite me,” I say. But I shuffle up and swing my legs around so my feet make contact with the floor.

She hauls open my top drawer and rummages around, emerging with a T-shirt.

“You stink. Change your T-shirt,” she instructs, shoving one at me.

“Someone drank their bossy juice this morning,” I grumble.

“That’s what big sisters are for.”

Chapter31

I make it to my exam on time.

The questions are hard. And it turns out wallowing in bed isn’t the best exam prep. But Cody’s tutoring pays off, and I manage to complete the whole exam, doing a decent enough job on most questions.

As I walk out, I have an insane moment when I want to send Cody a message about the exam and say thanks for all his help. But I don’t.

That’s what sucks the most. Losing our friendship. The other stuff was great, don’t get me wrong, but I’ve also lost my best friend.

And I miss him.

As I get in the car, I head over to Kate’s place. With things weird between her and Mum, I haven’t seen much of my new nephew. But I realize I don’t need Mum with me to visit Kate.

I knock on the door of her apartment. While I’m waiting, I can hear Ethan crying.