Page 142 of The Omega's Bloodlinem: Part Two

Yelena licked over my skin.Ours, she agreed.

Bite, bite, bite, I chanted.Make it real so I know I’m not dreaming next time I wake up.

I’m sorry it took me so long to realize.

Better late than never.

Indeed.

Yelena bit down and I came so hard I scared everyone from sleep before silencing myself by sinking my own teeth into Yelena’s arm.

Fuck. Yelena trembled against me, riding the tide of a new bond settling in, and setting off our omega. Logan squirmed next to me and I dragged her closer.

I needed the two of them to hold me together so I didn’t fall apart. Yelena’s affection wrapped around me like a blanket. The sheer amount of it blazing in my direction unlocked a well of anxiety in my chest that tumbled out as tears.

She actually wanted me, actuallylovedme, and I’d been laboring under the assumption we would never be more than the equivalent of work besties.

Gods, it felt fucking good. I didn’t care that we had gone from revelation to mates in a heartbeat.

I wanted forever.

Ideservedforever.

My pack had done a lot of things in a strange order, in a way survival required, but I had no regrets. People did things differently all the time and it worked out fine. We would be no exception. Fate knew we were supposed to be together. Sure, we still had plenty of learning to do, tons of things to figure out for the future, but for the first time in a long time I didn’t dread that expanse of time.

Fate knew what we needed.

Each other.

The worst was over and the dust had settled. New connections glowed brightly in the bond, and while I was grateful we still had that particular magic, I wasnotcoping well with being trapped in a singular form.

I sprawled out on the grass in the sunlight, letting the heat of it bake into my skin. The earth was a small comfort. The forest, which had always brought me peace, offered its calming energy.I couldn’t shake the feeling that too much was missing. My core was like a phantom limb, the ache of its loss too deep to ignore, my brain and body knowing it was supposed to be there and unwilling to accept its absence.

“I think they’re almost done,” Yelena said when she found me.

Cecily, Kyoko, Anya, and Sharla had been working with Logan all day on reestablishing the wards. Standard warding wasn’t complicated magic, but the nests often required multi-layered spells to create a self-sustaining system. It needed to make us invisible, protect us from the outside, allow for it to be opened and closed at will, and seamlessly draw from its power sources.

I sat up slowly, waiting while my mate settled next to me. Yelena took my hand, lacing our fingers together before drawing our joined hands onto her lap. “You’re hurting so much. I wish I could fix it.”

I should be grateful we escaped with our lives and the bond lets us communicate this way, but…

“I know. We experienced a loss. A devastating one, and it’s not something easily corrected. Logan can make you an amulet now that she has magic again.”

Seth and I talked about it this morning. It’s not the same, more like a bypass channeling Logan directly. Better than nothing, obviously, but it feels almost humiliating to rely on someone else for something that once came so easily.

“I’m trying to think of it as a disability aid. We’re allowed to grieve our bodies being unable to do something that used to come naturally, but there’s no shame in needing support to get close to how things were. Some of our community might view it differently, but our magic isn’t who we are. I hate feeling vulnerable, knowing I can’t rely on my lioness form without awitch’s intervention, but I still insist there’s nothing wrong with needing it.”

I leaned against her, letting her put her arm around my shoulders.Do you think the gods hate us?

“Why would you think that?”

I’m sure they could’ve found a way around the issue without requiring our sacrifice. Why were our lives and our magic an acceptable risk to them? They have no concept of death, nothing to risk themselves. Is that why?

“I’m sure it definitely colors their perception of the situation. This was all in the works before we were born, and even the gods can’t intervene against fate. I know it’s hard, but your pack loves you, and will do anything we can to help.”

You can’t help, though. I’m caged in my own body.

One of the reasons I covered myself in tattoos was to alter how I looked in the mirror, striving to create a human form I didn’t hate. Sometimes it felt like I had accomplished that. When I was tangled up with Yelena or Seth or Logan, I didn’t mind my body, almost liked it, and I came to an understanding in those moments. But a human body had so many flaws I didn’t enjoy contending with. When I juxtaposed the differences between it and my wolf form, there was no competition: dulled senses, weaker muscles, slower speeds. When I was a wolf, I felt freedom like it was a tangible thing and not simply a concept.