Page 265 of The Night Shift

“Daddy cut the cake! Daddy cut the cake!” Audrey barrels into the room, her curls and face full of frosting. “Look! He got frosting in my hair!” She holds up her sticky hands like a war medal.

From the kitchen, Parker’s voice rings out, getting closer. “Snitches end up in ditches!” He reappears a second later, somehow covered in more frosting than his daughter.

April shoots him a stern look. “Are you serious right now? What thebeepis wrong with you?”

Holly frowns. “Did you just say beep?”

“We’re trying not to swear in front of the kids,” April mutters, then throws a pointed look at Parker. “Someonelaughed when Audrey used a very colorful B-word at school last week.”

Audrey beams. “I like making Daddy laugh!”

“Oh, sweetheart,” Holly says. “I’m pretty sure he laughs every time he sees his ugly face in the mirror.”

Audrey giggles, delighted.

Parker points dramatically. “Do you see this? This is why I had to bribe her with cake. Holly is turning our daughter against me.”

Toothless, from behind Holly’s ankle, lets out a hiss at Parker.

“And my cat,” Parker adds.

April clicks her tongue and snaps her fingers. Toothless trots straight over like he’s been summoned by royalty. April scoops him up effortlessly, scratching his tiny head and planting a kiss on his squished face. Toothless purrs.

That cat adores every woman in the house. Follows April from room to room like a shadow. Sleeps on Audrey’s pillow. Even tolerates baby May’s unpredictable cuddles. But every man? Despises them. Parker included.

Holly scoffs. “I did no such beeping thing. It’s not my fault Audrey has taste and that I’m her favorite person in this family.”

Audrey spins around, curls bouncing, frosting still in her hair. “Uncle Theo is second favorite!”

I give her a low bow. “I’m honored, darling.”

April ignores us completely and glares at her husband. “We were supposed to wait for May to wake up before cutting the cake. Now you’re gonna have to get a new one.”

Parker whines. “Chère.”

“And it better have strawberry frosting.”

“Yeah, Daddy!” Audrey pipes in. “It better havestrawbabyfrosting!”

Parker sets his hands on his hips and looks between his wife and daughter. “This family is turning into a dictatorship.”

Peter, still peeking out from behind April’s leg, asks earnestly, “Mommy, what is adickturtleship?”

“It means Daddy has to do whatever Mommy says, no questions asked.”

Parker grins. “And Daddy is more than happy to oblige.”

“Can you guys please stop calling each other Mommy and Daddy?” Holly says. “It’s grossing me out.”

Parker leans over and kisses April on the cheek.

Both kids — and Holly — groan in unison. “Ewwww.”

April and Parker laugh, clearly enjoying the chaos.

Parker looks at me. “Cake. Let’s go. You’re driving me to the store.”

Holly immediately tightens her grip around my hand.