Page 29 of The Night Ride (SEALs on Wheels #3)

Chapter twenty

T he ride in the ambulance seemed to take unto eternity. I didn’t even feel the antiseptic as they cleaned my wound and bandaged it, so I didn’t bleed everywhere. The medic just shook his head in disbelief. But all my focus was on Beth.

I wasn’t a man who prayed much. Mainly because I didn’t figure if there was a higher power that they were listening to a man like me with more blood on my hands than I wanted to admit.

But in this moment, I sent up a few prayers, hoping that Beth would be all right. That she would wake up.

At the hospital they wheeled her into a trauma room immediately. When I tried to follow, a nurse about ten years older with her dark hair threaded with silver stopped me.

“We need to get that arm looked at.”

“I need to be with her.”

“You won’t do her any good if you bleed to death. The medic told me that gash needs stitches, and we need to make sure there’s not any glass in it. I can sew you up so you don’t have to wait for a doctor.”

I pulled it together. Because she needed me to be there when she woke. With a slight nod, I replied, “Fine. But it’s barely a scratch.”

“I’ll be the judge of that. Follow me.” She led me into a small room and had me sit on the bed.

She approached and removed the gauze, examining the wound beneath a magnifying glass.

“Well, I’m not seeing any glass in it. But the medic’s right.

It’s going to need some stitches. Let’s get your shirt off. I can give you a gown.”

“No need.” I had a white tank beneath the button-up shirt.

She glanced at my dog tags after I removed the shirt. “What branch?”

“Navy.”

She smiled. “My dad was Air Force. I was a military brat and moved to a bunch of bases. Where are you stationed?”

“Out of Norfolk.”

“And what do you do?” She gave me a shot of lidocaine to numb the area, which I was thankful for since the adrenaline had worn off, my arm had begun to throb.

“I’m a SEAL.” I wouldn’t tell her which team. She didn’t need to know that. But given her dad was in the military I didn’t mind admitting it. And with HIPPA laws, it wasn’t like she could divulge any patient information anyway without getting in trouble.

“Get out of town. No wonder you didn’t feel it.

My dad always said you boys were crazy tough sons of bitches, guess he was right.

” She bent over my arm, stitching the wound up.

When she finished, she said, “These will need to come out in about two weeks. The medics on base should be able to take care of it for you. But you’ll want to go easy on the arm for a week or so. ”

“So not hot rod stunts on the Harley.”

“If I were you, I would stay off the bike for at least a week, two would be better,” she said removing her gloves and tossing them in the waste basket.

“Where’s Beth?”

“Let me take you to her. Does she have any next of kin?” She asked.

“A sister, but she’s in California. Why, is she?” If she told me Beth wasn’t going to make it, I didn’t know what I would do.

“We need the information just in case. She should be fine though.” She led me into the room. Beth looked frail hooked up to an oxygen machine. The beeps of the heart monitor were steady along with the rise and fall of her chest.

“Do we have a prognosis?” I asked the doctor.

“And you are?”

“Her boyfriend.” It sounded lame even coming from my ears.

“Ah well, she should be all right in a few days. Just a severe case of smoke inhalation. We want to keep her overnight for observation. But she should be free to go home in the morning. We’re working on getting her admitted. Might take a hot minute since we’re busy.”

I nodded. Relief hit me so hard I almost staggered. Instead, I took a seat at her side, held her hand, and waited for her to wake.

And I couldn’t help but think, if I didn’t want people to refer to me as her boyfriend, just want did I want to be called?

***

When I opened my eyes, I thought I must be dreaming. Or the other option was I was dead. Because sitting at the side of my hospital bed was Aiden, holding my hand.

“Aiden?” I questioned, my throat all scratchy and sore.

His head shot up and his eyes warmed. “Hey. How are you feeling?”

“What happened?” I swallowed and my throat felt like someone had taken a razor blade to it.

“Here. Drink this.” He lifted my bed until I was sitting and held out a cup with a straw.

When I went to take the cup from him, he said, “I’ve got it. You just drink.”

Following his orders, I sucked on the straw he held in my mouth. The first splash of icy water hit my tongue and tasted wonderful. I slurped more down.

“Careful. Go slow or you’ll make yourself sick.”

He was right. Already my stomach felt full. I took one more sip before I stopped and leaned back against the bed.

“Good? Don’t speak, just nod or you’ll hurt your throat.”

I did as he suggested and nodded. Because it did hurt to talk.

“You were still out when the detective and Fire Marshall stopped by. They picked up Tracy’s husband, Justin.

He’s currently being held on arson charges.

The store is a loss. But you’ll be able to rebuild with the insurance money.

And already there are donations pouring in, it seems the firefighters and police in the area all love your bakery and how much you take care of them, so they started a collection for you. ”

I did want that, and it was so sweet how much they all cared. I’d have to make them some cookies once I get out of the hospital, but, “You left. I don’t understand why you’re here.”

I croaked out the words even though it hurt. I needed to understand why he was here. Why did he come back? It made no sense to me.

“You need to rest.” He picked up my hand and pressed a kiss against the back of it. I opened my mouth to argue. But even then, my eyelids felt heavy.

“Well, talk more later. I’m not going anywhere.”

For now. But what happened tomorrow, or the next day when he left. I’d already said goodbye to him once, I didn’t think I could do it again. Not without ripping out my still beating heart and handing it over to him.

But the drugs the hospital gave me compounded with almost dying from smoke inhalation, and my eyes closed as the tide dragged me back under.

***

Two days later I laid in bed. We never talked. Aiden had stayed with me at the hospital and had been the sole of propriety, telling me to save my voice and we would talk soon. I didn’t want to know when he was going to leave me again.

With the bakery shut down, I had nothing but time on my hands to rest. Aiden had taken my phone away when he saw me trying to work. And had even threatened to tie me to the bed if I didn’t listen.

The whirring hum of the lawnmower infiltrated my bedroom. Aiden was outside taking care of things while I rested.

But we both knew he would be leaving soon to head back to base.

He’d told me he would stay until then. But there were so many things that we’d left unsaid.

Like why he had come back. When he finished outside, I planned to question him, because I couldn’t stand the uncertainty.

I understood more than most what loving him would be like.

Hard. Not the loving him part for that was as simple as breathing.

No, it was watching him leave, knowing he was headed towards danger and waiting for him to return.

Hoping against all hope that he would. While understanding that I would spend sleepless nights worried about him and might have to face losing him on some distant shore.

And I didn’t know how to make Aiden understand he could trust me and that I would never leave him.

Sighing, because I’d asked the heavens to give me a sign or signal, something, anything to know how to handle this situation, and glanced at my nightstand. The thick ivory envelope with my name and address in Evan’s handwriting sat on it.

Ready to exit the quagmire of my tumultuous emotions, but the only way past the impasse was through it.

I snatched the envelope and ripped it open, before I thought better of it. Withdrew the thick folded paper and opened it. Another envelope spilled onto my lap with Aiden’s name scrawled on it.

My stomach clenched. What? I didn’t understand. I stared at the envelope for a full minute before I lifted my gaze to the letter in my hand and began to read.

Beth,

I need to tell you I’m sorry, for several things. I know you won’t fully understand why I have to go, but I need you to know a few things before I go.

I adore you. I remember the day you were born and getting to go to the hospital to see you that first time.

I sat in the hospital room with Mom and Dad and our surprise gift.

I always thought I would be an only child, but you made me a big brother.

And I loved you instantly. When they let me hold you that first time, I swore I would be the best big brother in the world and would always protect you.

I didn’t keep my word. I know how much you had to do after Dad died and Mom descended into alcoholism.

I know I wasn’t there for you like you needed me.

But I need you to know I’m so damn proud of you and the amazing woman you’ve become.

And even as I write this, I wish I could stay just so I could watch all the amazing things you’re going to be and do in your life.

And I’m so sorry about the night with Aiden and the harsh words I hurled your way.

You didn’t deserve them. I saw your face, I know how much I hurt you.

Please forgive me. I didn’t mean them. I’ve been messed up in the head for a long time after everything I’ve seen and done.

And for a while there I took it out on those closest to me because I didn’t know how to deal with it.

But I also saw the way you looked at him, with love, and it scared the bejesus out of me. Because I know how hard it can be, loving someone whose job is dangerous in the best of times and worse when in another corner of the globe a powder keg ignites.