Page 27 of The Night Ride (SEALs on Wheels #3)

“Oh, but you are. The first time I saw you, you took my breath away. Time slowed to a crawl, and it was like the heavens parted shining its golden light down upon you.”

“You were fifteen.”

“It doesn’t matter. Even then I knew I would love you forever.”

“Beth,” he grimaced.

“It’s okay if you can’t say it back and don’t feel that way about me. I love you enough for the both of us.”

“You know I care a great deal about you. It’s just—I need time and your patience.”

“You have it. I’ve been waiting for you for eleven years, Aiden.”

“And if I never get there?”

“Then I will count myself fortunate indeed, for how many women can say they had the opportunity to love their high school crush. Not many, I’m guessing.”

Although in my heart of hearts it felt like a goddamn Greek tragedy.

That I was forever destined to love a man who refused to allow himself to love me back.

Because that night at the bar years ago, he had been right there with me.

Even now as he removed his pants and joined me, I could feel him, holding himself back from falling.

And I didn’t know what to do other than to love him.

Then to show him not all love hurt or was destructive.

That love was patient and kind. That when it was real and true, no amount of time or distance could change that fact.

That we could even wind up with other people on our path and eventually fate would bring us back together.

Because in the end, we were meant for each other. Soulmates some might call it.

And for me, he was the man I’d been in love with for most of my life. The man I had looked for in others only to find them lacking. And that when I was in his presence, he became the sole focal point of my universe.

He joined me in bed and pulled me close, cupping my face in his hands. “I don’t deserve you or this. But I’m a selfish man. And the only thing that will drive me from your bed is you.”

I pressed my hand against his cheek, my gaze never wavered.

“Nothing could drag me from this moment with you. I know you have to leave and figure things out. And I hope that one day you will realize what we could be, and you chose to fight for us. But if it never happens and you decide to go on your way without looking back, I forgive you and I understand. Either you feel a thing, or you don’t.

I can’t make you love me. But for tonight I can say that you were mine, and I will let it be enough. ”

His gaze darkened and lips crashed down upon mine. Threading my fingers in his hair I held his mouth against mine as we kissed. Deeply. Reverently. Because we both knew our time ran short, and it was as if we kissed with our souls.

A torrid tangle of lips, tongues, and even the gentle scrap of fingers.

I couldn’t get close enough. I ached for him.

For the losses he’d sustained. I wanted to kiss all his hurts away and show him what love was meant to be.

But he didn’t linger over our kiss. Aiden kissed his way down my body.

Starting with my neck and down to my shoulder.

A cascade of shivers ran along my spine.

His hands cupped and kneaded my breasts as his mouth descended the slope of my chest to the hardened buds begging for his lips.

He flicked his gaze to my face as he tongued my nipple.

Pleasure filled bolts shot straight to my core.

My lips parted on a moan as he sucked a bud into his mouth, gently tugging and teasing my sensitive flesh.

He placed love bites on the nipple, my back arched at the pleasure.

He moved between the two until both buds were stiff and red from his ardent attention.

He traveled further south placing hot, open-mouthed kisses along my flesh.

When he reached the waistband of my panties, he hooked his fingers around the delicate lace and yanked, ripping the flimsy material from my body.

I gasped. His mouth grew ravenous, not leaving a speck of skin untouched.

He parted my thighs, making room for the wide breadth of his shoulders.

His breath ghosted over my pussy. He shot me a glance, his eyes ablaze with dark desire.

My breath caught in my lungs as his mouth descended and he kissed my mound.

With his thumbs he parted my folds and drew his tongue down my slit.

I cried out at the intense need humming in my veins. He planted long, thorough kisses slicking his tongue over my clit, making it swell. Pleasure built in endless waves. My hands found their way into his hair, holding him steady as he gave my pussy deep soul stealing kisses.

I watched his golden head between my thighs and knew I would remember this time with him. Remember how it felt to be loved by him no matter how short the time between us was.

I shot up off the bed and damn near levitated as I climaxed.

A bright supernova explosion rattled my foundation.

Before I returned to earth from my euphoric high, he moved, positioning his hips between my thighs.

He rubbed the hard length of his cock between my wet folds. And notched his shaft at my entrance.

“Look at me.” He demanded with a low growl.

I lifted my heavy lids and fell into his seductive gaze. With a single thrust he buried himself to the hilt. My mouth dropped open as I moaned. He fit me, like a key sliding into the right lock.

We stayed that way, connected, breathing each other’s breaths, staring into each other’s souls. I couldn’t help the tears as they slipped down my cheeks. Because in my heart I knew there would never be another quite like Aiden.

There might be men who would come after him if he never returned to my life, but I knew they would never touch me as deeply as him. Aiden moved me.

The love I had for him was deeper than any ocean and taller than any mountain. I didn’t even know if I would be able to look at the rooms in my house and not remember him there. He had emblazoned his essence upon my soul.

I would look for him in every man who came after but knew I would never find it. Because there was no one else like him.

I slid my hands down to his low back and rocked my hips as my need rose. Aiden moved with me. He threaded our hands together as he thrust deep. Our gazes trained on each other.

Because I believed he knew, that he felt the magnetic pull between us, and in his way even loved me. I wanted it to be enough. I wanted to believe that my heart would carry on past this night.

And yet in the deepest recesses of my heart and soul, I knew he was the love of my life.

His lips crashed down upon mine, claiming me, branding me as his unto eternity. If I lived to be a hundred and found love again, it would be his face I saw as I took my last breath.

Our dance together a slow waltz as we inched toward a blinding pinnacle. Neither of us wanted to rush this time and yet the clock ticked against us. With each second that passed we were closer to the end.

As much as we wanted to linger our bodies had other ideas. Need descended, a primal obsession to mate, to join and make us one being. My hands gripped his sweat slicked skin. I undulated beneath him, rising to meet him time and again.

The climax struck like a planet killing asteroid. It’s devastation total. My toes curled and body shook as tremors quaked through my sex. With an impassioned groan he slammed home following me over into the ecstasy infused abyss.

We laid there entwined. Our hearts raced and our bodies replete but neither willing to break the connection just yet. He waited until his shaft softened before he shifted away and withdrew.

He rolled onto his back and pulled me with him, so that I was nestled against his side. We didn’t speak, but words weren’t necessary. We both knew how the other felt. Talking wouldn’t change the coming separation. It would happen whether I wanted it or not.

It didn’t make it easier. If anything, it was harder. Because I could see how it could be. I could envision the life we could have, the laughter, the tears, and the love. I saw a little girl with my dark hair and his eyes. And a little boy with his strong shoulders and indomitable heart.

But it was a field of dreams that would never come to fruition.

If he asked me, I would go with him. I would close my bakery and move it to Virginia near his base. I would wait for him each time he was shipped overseas. And I would be there to greet him when he returned.

But he had to want it, want me, more than anything else, including his oaths.

I even understood it. He was a man of honor and loyalty. And no matter how much watching him leave would gut me, I had to let him go. It was what he needed from me, and I loved him too much not to give him that.

We drifted to sleep, curled together. And all throughout the long night we turned to each other. Loving each other until the sun crested the horizon. When we had no choice but to part.

I had to be in early before dawn. We rose in silence. He padded into the bathroom, and I heard the water running in the shower. As much as I wanted to join him, if he touched me again, I would forget all the promises I made myself and beg him to stay.

When what he needed was for me to let him go, to give him time to decide.

It wasn’t fair. But I couldn’t change it no matter how hard I tried. Instead, I went into the kitchen, my safe space. It was my refuge against the storms of my life. He walked into the kitchen fully dressed just as I put breakfast on the table.

“I thought you might join me in the shower.”

I lifted my gaze and looked at him then. “I wanted to but thought it best if I didn’t.”

He studied me a moment and nodded. “I understand. You didn’t have to do this.”

He meant more than breakfast.

Pasting a smile I didn’t feel, I said, “And what kind of hostess would I be if I didn’t send you off with a hearty breakfast.”

There were scrambled eggs with cheddar and Monterey jack cheese, bacon, biscuits and sausage gravy, and strawberries.

“It’s quite the spread. I don’t know how you find the time to make biscuits so quickly.”

“I’m just that good.” When the reality was, I kept dough and gravy frozen in batches in the freezer, making it easy to pull out and heat, or in the case of the gravy, reheat.

They were simple tricks I’d learned in culinary school.

It saved time and effort when I was really busy since running a business took a lot of work. And I liked having a good meal.

We ate in silence.

“Beth, I—it’s wrong of me to even ask for you to consider waiting until I’m ready. I have to finish this mission and my time with the Navy.”

I put a hand on his arm. “I know. And we don’t know where this path leads.

I understand you need to finish up your career and that you don’t trust me enough because of her.

I want to say I’ll wait, but a lot can happen in two years, Aiden.

I’m doing the best I can to honor the parameters you set forth for our relationship, but I deserve to have someone in my life who wants to be there.

I know your job is risky. I know that loneliness can play a factor.

My brother was married twice and wasn’t remotely faithful to either one.

Regardless of whether we come together again, know I will love you until the day I die.

Deep down I know you’re it for me. I tried not loving you, burying my feelings for you, but they never went away.

I’ll look for your face in every crowd and see your smile in every sunrise.

You’re the love of my life. I understand you have to do this, and I love you for it.

And when you leave, you’ll take a part of me with you.

I won’t ever experience another thunderstorm and not think of you. ”

He rose and yanked me up into his arms. I wrapped mine around his shoulders, holding him close. Feeling his heartbeat within his chest. I inhaled him deeply, wondering how I was going to survive this when it felt as if my heart was tearing into millions of jagged pieces.

“I better go. Beth, I wish things were different.”

“Be safe,” I murmured against his neck, fighting back the tears clogging my throat.

He lifted his head and cupped my nape, his mouth claimed mine for one final kiss. It was tender and ripped my still beating heart to shreds.

He disengaged first. I didn’t know how I kept myself upright as he grabbed his pack and headed outside. I followed him to the door. And stood there with the door open while he stowed his pack and climbed on his Harley. He settled the helmet on his head, started the motor, and then looked at me.

I plastered a smile and lifted my hand in goodbye.

He gave me a chin nod, his eyes somber. And then he drove away as swiftly as he entered my life with the wings of fate.

I barely got the door closed before my heart shattered and I collapsed onto the floor as grief swallowed me whole.

Because Aiden Miller was the loss of my life.