Page 8 of The Night Is Defying (Nytefall Trilogy #2)

8

A straea

For the whole climb to the tower I’d been trying to rehearse what I would say to Calix. After all he confessed in the throne room, setting me up for some anonymous hit in exchange for a way to save Cassia— a plan that got her killed anyway—I wasn’t sure if I would be able to face him again. I’d made Nyte spare his life, and now I had to find out why my heart couldn’t just let him die.

Nyte didn’t know I’d come. He’d left this morning to meet with Elliot and the others of the Golden Guard who’d been tracking vampire activity in the other kingdoms since the end of the Libertatem. I wanted to go with him when he asked, but even more so I needed this time alone to face the betrayal in my heart.

Calix sat curled into himself in the back corner of the cell and my chest tightened. He had some hay and a blanket, barely adequate for the winter that came through the small high window above his head.

My lips parted but no words would form. He didn’t even look up, though he had to know someone was here from the sound of my boots. He just didn’t seem to care.

“Calix,” I said quietly.

His brown eyes peeked out from the huddle of his arms. So hauntingly detached from the man I thought I knew.

“Has he ordered my death yet?” he asked, his voice barely a croak, like he hadn’t used it in weeks.

“Several times. It’s been tempting to let him.”

“You don’t have to spare me for your conscience.”

“I’m not,” I said. “I’m sparing you for Cassia.”

Calix’s eyes closed with that.

“Don’t bother; she would likely kill me if she was here anyway. If she could tell you to do it, she would.”

“We both know that’s not true.”

“I betrayed her in trying to set you up. I knew that at the time yet I did it anyway. Instead I got her killed.”

“You wanted to save her.”

“What are you trying to do, Astraea? Make me atone for my soul? Just let me be damned.”

“She would tell you to get yourself together.”

Calix huffed, a hollow humorless sound.

“Go away. You’re wasting your time.”

“You would rather I let him kill you?”

“Does it look like I’m pleading for my life?”

“You’re a pitiful coward.”

Calix didn’t respond to that. I thought of going on but then I realized that’s what he wanted. Validation to rot in his pitiful heap.

Unclasping my cloak, I threw it into the cell. It landed over him, and for a second I thought he might disregard it with the sour look he cast me. But he folded into the warmth of it and his body relaxed a little.

“What do you want from me?” he asked, tipping his head back.

“For you to climb out of your self-pity.”

“If I pitied myself, it would mean I thought I deserved better.”

“I tried to be your friend but you were always an asshole. You said you came after me, to Vesitire, to help. Was that bullshit too?”

“No,” he said. Then his eyes dropped to add, “And yes.”

My temper flared.

“I spared you from Nyte because I meant what I said in the maze. I forgive you. For Cass. She would have wanted us to be friends.”

“That was before you knew the truth of what I’d done.”

“Yet I’m still here.”

“In the maze,” he said distantly, “I said I’d come to say I forgive you. But you did nothing wrong. You always did right by her, protected her, more than I could.”

“Stop it,” I said. “You don’t get to give me that credit, and I’m not going to give you merit and convince you that you were her shining knight either. You fucked up, Calix. But now you have a chance to change that. Cassia loved life. To see you disregard yours so easily, meaninglessly, would be the biggest betrayal you could make against her memory.”

He met my eyes and for a second I pitied the plea in them. Calix only knew two things. His love, and his duty. He’d lost one and become estranged from the other.

“Take me with you,” he said.

“Where?”

He shrugged. “Wherever you’re going next. If I still have purpose; being a guard is all I know and I don’t think I can go back to Alisus Keep. Not to live there every day when she won’t ever return.”

I nodded in understanding.

“Nyte can hardly stand you breathing, never mind being close to me. You can’t be my guard. And no offense, but I think I could put you on your ass soon.”

Calix tried to chuckle, but it was short and hardly there.

“Magick is a cheat.”

“It’s a helpful advancement.”

“If I can’t stay with you, maybe you can get me to another kingdom; I’ll start again there.”

That seemed like a more plausible plan.

“You made terrible mistakes. It doesn’t make you a monster.”

I turned from him, with a weight off my shoulders now that I had a plan with him.

“Guard your forgiveness, Astraea,” he called at my back. “I’m grateful for it, but not everyone deserves it from you no matter who you are.”

After visiting Calix, I was looking for Zath or Rose, or both, to suggest we get out of the castle for a while. When I turned the next corner, my steps almost faltered at the sight of the red hair advancing toward me. I shouldn’t have taken this route; it was quiet, dark.

I kept my chin high to not give Tarran the satisfaction of rattling me despite his slow, predatory smile. Of course I knew he wouldn’t let me pass without engaging.

“Maiden. We haven’t had the pleasure of any time together since the end of the Libertatem. What a show Nightsdeath put on, and still he wins your heart.”

We faced each other, and I put all my effort into maintaining a front.

“I can’t say you’ve been on my mind as I have been yours.”

“You wound me. I hoped we’d get to become acquainted now that we’re going to be allies, after all. Accept my apology for any wrongdoings of the past.”

“Like I said, I haven’t thought about you. Not your life, nor your death.”

Tarran took a long inhale, and I wondered if it was to take in more of my scent. I had my answer when it compelled him to step forward. My retreat met the wall and raced my adrenaline.

“Did he tell you what I am?”

“An arrogant son of a bitch.”

That earned a wider smile, revealing his sharp teeth, and I shuddered with the glance he couldn’t refrain from directing at my neck.

“I’m one of the oldest soul vampires alive, maiden. I was here long before him. Long before you. I was here when the guardians came together and created Vesitire as the central to rule the surrounding five kingdoms. Althenia has always remained independent. I watched you from the moment of creation and as you came into the star-maiden you were. A creature so magnificent and fair and powerful, the likes of which the land had never been blessed with before. They called your reign the golden age. There was peace among all species.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because even the most pure and perfectly crafted things are drawn to darkness. You were no different. Everything you’d built came crashing down all for one. Heart. And now here we are, and I might get to bear witness to what should have happened all that time ago. The fall of eternal darkness because you can’t let each other go. It will be an honor to witness.”

I couldn’t fathom how old Tarran was. It made me blanch like I was nothing more than a child in comparison. He didn’t need magick when his power was built from time and patience. Crafting a reputation and an influence that was a prized currency itself. It made sense now that Nyte was being careful, strategic with someone like Tarran.

“This is what you want then—my union with Nyte.”

“Of course. Once I found out what was causing the quakes and what would happen if they continued, it was to our best advantage not to hunt you, but to ally with you. But by then it was too late.”

“The king wanted me dead. It could have been him who finally got the job done.”

“Perhaps. No one has ever really believed he had any power and I couldn’t understand why Nightsdeath would cater to his father when he held all the influence. He made the entire continent fear him. I’ll admit I’m curious as to how you see though all the blood that coats him. Every sin he’s committed against all you stand for.”

It wasn’t all the truth.

“Like you said, I was made to see the good in people. To be fair.”

His head canted curiously. “Even to me?”

“I’d give you the grace of a trial.”

His smile was all sly amusement—a mockery that didn’t believe I had any authority over him so he would never fear my judgment.

Tarran came inches closer and my heart sped, bracing with the need to defend myself if he tried to harm me. He merely leaned in like I was prey to play with, dropping his tone so low my hearing turned acute.

“One of them is going to betray you. One of them already has.”

He pulled back but I was still held tightly by that chilling statement.

“Who?” I choked, suffocating.

“The only thing you have two of. In this life and the last.”

“You don’t know anything.”

Tarran merely smiled. Then his head tilted as if something I couldn’t hear caught his attention.

“You know, Bonded is just a title really. I would be a fool not to offer you a way out of either choice. I have the might of all the vampire armies; I would treat you like the queen you are.”

He couldn’t be serious. Not even the slightest spark of intrigue formed over his outlandish proposal. He seemed to find his answer in my blank expression but it didn’t deter the wild flare in his brown eyes.

“I look forward to the ceremony, Astraea.”

He left me standing there. I couldn’t move. He was just trying to scare me with that riddle. Spiral my mind between Nyte and Auster or maybe warn me to choose neither.

“There she is.” Zath’s loud voice bounding through the hall caused me to jump out of my skin.

I turned to find him and Rose heading toward me. His bright grin began to fall, and he scanned me head to toe.

“What’s wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Nothing,” I said, not convincingly enough, but my head wouldn’t stop spinning. “I need to get out of here.”

“Where are you going?” Rose asked, jogging to fall into step after I marched past.

“Just into the city. I need a distraction. Perhaps a drink.”

“Rose and I were just heading there actually. We came to ask if you wanted to join.”

My nerves were already beginning to calm.

“Why were you planning to go out there?” I asked.

“We’ve been meaning to revisit a particular hat shop,” Zath said. I peered up at him just as he exchanged a look with Rose.

I curved a brow. “A hat shop?”

“From the trials,” Rose explained in a grumble.

I thought to probe further but figured it would only bring on a headache.

Outside, I breathed the cool air steadily and let my mind empty of vampires and celestials and Nyte for a while. Well, maybe not Nyte, since I hadn’t seen him all day and the absence was notable in my mood.

“I went to see Calix,” I told Zath.

“How did that go?” he asked tentatively.

Zath wasn’t as… merciless as Nyte to want him dead, but he wouldn’t object to letting Nyte have his way either.

“He harmless and doesn’t deserve to die for stupidity.”

“Good luck reasoning that with Nyte.”

I found pleasure in the challenge and that felt wrong to admit. He’d listened to me in the throne room, and if he killed Calix against my wishes I don’t think I could forgive him for it.

The city was winding down for the fall of twilight and I pulled my hood up to hide the blaring beacon my silver hair had become to identify me. I didn’t get drunk often, the last time was with Cassia. I almost backtracked on my decision but before my world cleaved in two, I remembered it had also been one of the most joyous and carefree nights we’d ever spent together.

In the corner of my eye I caught movement jumping off a crate before dipping into a dark alley. Curiosity got the better of me and I followed after the black cat.

“We were so close,” Zath groaned when I diverted from the path to the inn.

I didn’t respond. Reaching the end of the alley, I only just caught the flicker of a black tail disappearing down back alley stairs and chased after it.

“I thought we were looking for wine and whiskey, not watered down ale,” Rose commented.

They followed my impulse anyway and we came to one of the most run-down parts of the lower city level. The street had an odor mixing damp stone and body sweat that I tried not to inhale too deeply. Some humans gathered outside various shops and taverns, and none of them hid their blatant head-to-toe assessments of us, like they were wondering what they could steal.

After a few more minutes I couldn’t find the black cat again and my skin was starting to crawl. I stopped for one last look.

“Are you following me?”

All of us jumped at the sudden voice right behind us, too close for a stranger’s comfort. The moment I turned to meet Davina, I relaxed. Her brown eyes blinked, curiously patient, and her black hair was in a long braid that climbed over her head and fell to her ribs.

“I knew it was you,” I said in triumph.

She hooked a teasing brow. “It’s about time I switch up my form of preference, I think.”

“What are you doing down here?” Rose asked. She stood firm and cross-armed like Zath. I didn’t think they realized how alike they were sometimes. The two of them guarded our backs and tracked subtle eyes on suspicious persons around us.

“I shouldn’t really tell you. We’ve never had outsiders before,” she said, contemplating.

I gave her my best pleading eyes. “I’m not just anyone though.” May as well use the star-maiden as a token for my gain too.

“Very well, but keep to the back and stay quiet. Nyte didn’t want to overwhelm you all at once, but you followed me, so I can’t take the blame.”

She looped my arm and I turned eagerly, anxious to find out where we were going. We went down another set of alley stairs, deeper into the under city, and while I was prickling with unease, Davina was nearly skipping along, so unfazed and cheerful.

We came to a deserted corner of shops with only a scary lone man sitting on a crate, peeling an apple with his knife. He was burly and intimidating but Davina flashed a pleasant smile at him.

“You’re late,” he grumbled.

“Impossible,” Davina sang.

He eased a smile and I realized then he was guarding who went in and out of the seemingly abandoned building Davina led us into.

She unhooked my arm, dipping into her pocket and producing a brass pin she placed on her chest.

“What is that?” I asked.

“The resistance seal,” she said.

I noted the change in her as we headed deeper into this establishment that seemed long neglected. She became focused and firm. Authoritative. We stopped walking when she did, turning to us. I glanced at the sigil she wore, but I couldn’t quite decipher what it was, with arrows like a compass, an upward facing moon, and lines that crossed and fell down from it.

“Keep your hoods up. Stay at the back until it’s finished.”

We nodded, and Davina didn’t look back nor falter a step as she pulled back the curtain and headed straight down the space between the rows of benches in the large, run-down hall I discovered with awe to be an abandoned theater.

Rose, Zath, and I slipped into the back and stayed standing with some others. The hall was packed full and the chatter began to quieten as Davina reached the low stage where four other fae were standing already.

I’d only read about this kind of place—seen it in words that painted the pictures in my mind. The theater was missing its vibrancy with the red curtains hanging torn and dust coated. The people on the stage stood to talk about terrible things and the audience were not eager for the performance. This was a place that once held laugher and cheer but now melancholy swept in leaving only the ghost of joy I’d felt from the depictions on a page.

When Davina finished speaking to the other fae, she turned to the crowd and I hardly recognized my friend. She stood with shoulders squared and hands clasped behind her, so serious but magnificent, with an air of leadership that canceled all sound in the room without a word.

“As you’ve heard, the Libertatem has come to an end once again,” she said. It broke a murmur of disgruntled sounds and curses toward the king. Until Davina added, “What I’m thrilled to tell you is that the rumors are true—it is the last. The star-maiden has indeed returned, and Nightsdeath is freed.”

A burst of excitement and uncertainty buzzed through the room. My skin pricked with the reaction of the fae in attendance.

“Is it true she has no power?” someone called from the crowd.

“No,” Davina said, shifting a subtle look to me as she paced across the stage. “But she will need our help and patience.”

“Patience?” a fae male scoffed, standing at the side. “She wrecked our world, then abandoned it. Why should we care about her return at all?”

My cheeks heated and Zath leaned in to me. “I think it was a mistake to come.”

“No,” I said. “I need to hear it.”

“You can’t forget the age of peace and unity she created and will restore. We’ve been waiting for centuries.”

“We’ve been doing just fine without her,” a female added. “She serves as nothing more than an entity with too much power that could destroy all we’ve rebuilt.”

Agreement was passed between peers in quiet talk. I didn’t know how to feel. These people were hurting and they were right. They’d been building this resistance for centuries without me and I understood their concern that I might step in and pretend to know what they’ve been through.

“They’re ungrateful,” Rose muttered bitterly.

“They’re afraid,” I countered.

Davina tried to reason with the crowd. “Astraea is on our side. Soon, the celestials will come to our aid now that their maiden is back.”

“They hid away and abandoned us too!” someone cried out.

“We can’t trust any of them,” another added.

“We can’t do it alone,” Davina said firmly, loud enough to silence everyone.

They listened to her. Respected her.

“We haven’t attacked or fought back because we’ve been biding our time. We’ve lost friends and family and this is our time to focus and avenge them, not lose sight of it under resentment. Alone we are not enough and at the end of this war we want our peace again, not a divide with the celestials.”

“End to the vampires!” someone called. More joined in a rowdy agreement and my skin chilled.

I knew the vampires were rising up to conquer, but I couldn’t imagine a world without them entirely. I thought of Drystan. He once had a heart that cared and loved. What if there were many vampires just like him—no different to the fae, or celestials, or humans? What if there could be those who seemed corrupt and evil that wanted peace just like the rest of us?

Annihilation of an entire species was not the way.

“There was once coexistence,” I said.

My voice was loud enough that some turned to me with scowls, some with accusation. How dare I stand here as the oppressed and defend the enemy?

I pulled my hood down and that seemed to trigger recognition. Looking over the faces that pierced me with looks of disgust, awe, uncertainty, hope. So many conflicting emotions but I had to weather all of it. I headed up the aisle toward Davina, who watched me with surprise and concern.

It’s the Maiden, they whispered.

I quelled my nerves under the interrogation of many eyes. I might be a celestial, but these were my people too.

“Is it true you have no memory?” a timid voice echoed through the silence. I found a younger female tucking a strand of honey hair behind her pointed ear. With the way she looked at me, I felt the weight of responsibility I had to these people. They were counting on me.

“Not entirely,” I said. “I don’t remember all in images but I feel it. More so every day. Like right now. I feel all of you because I know we’re in this together and we always have been. I stand for you and I fight for you, but…” my throat dried because there was no easy way to get people to understand what I’ve seen and what I believe. “People are not born cruel. We have to break the cycle of violence.”

“She’s not with us,” a male shouted but I didn’t see him. “Anyone who sees mercy for the vampires is against us.”

As they broke out in chatter again, I felt Davina close by my side.

“They’re not going to believe in you in a night,” she said quietly to me.

“I know.” I didn’t need them to.

It would take action to prove I was on their side and I was going to help. It would take an example to show them peace could be made and once again I thought of one person, with a distant yearning in my heart.

Drystan. Not just a blood vampire but the son of the king that had wronged them so truly. If he could show he was on our side it could change everything. But the prince was hurting just as much as everyone here and pain turned people cold and hopeless.

Right now he hated me and despised Nyte.

“You’ll betray us again,” someone said.

“She shouldn’t be here.”

I couldn’t see who was shouting anymore. It all blended together but I knew none of it was encouragement or faith.

“I bet she isn’t even powerful.”

That was the comment to prompt a reaction in me. It spurred a need to prove I wasn’t powerless. Never again. The key was in my hand before I knew what I was doing and the magick within me bonded to it instantly, pulsing a violet flare through the room when the staff tapped to the ground.

“You might look at this and see power. Feel it. But you can be just as powerful. With your words or your actions in silence. I’m not enough to fight this alone even when I get my full magick back. I need you as much as you need me. So I’m asking if you’ll fight with me for the life of freedom and equality you’ve been denied far too long.”

“The world will drown in starlight,” someone called out. She was young, clutching the hand of an older fae. But she was so brave, looking up at me as if wishing upon a star, and I wanted to fall to my knees to grant it.

Then another echoed her words. Until the tension from the silence was shaken completely by the crowd’s humming, and now smiles started to crack the tired and dire faces of the gathered fae.

“Not bad,” Davina said, nudging my side while the crowd’s attention was scattered.

I took a deep breath. “It’s going to take a lot more than one speech, but it’s a start.”

Davina gave me a sad but prideful smile, squeezing my arm.

I stepped off the stage as she called the room’s attention to her again, starting to fill them in on all that had happened since the Libertatem.

“You stepped out of your cage long ago,” Zath said, slinging his arm around my shoulders as we left. “But I think you just shattered it.”

I needed a drink to take the edge off more than before after the secret fae resistance meeting. I couldn’t tell if it was nerves or my high from positive adrenaline that turned one wine to two then three. Now I was losing count. Either way, I figured I would be suffering tomorrow.

We found a bustling inn on the lower level of the city. Humble and mostly full of humans. I kept my eyes on the few pointed ears that were regarded like royalty in here. One shadowless sank his teeth into a young man but I’d been tracking the man’s mannerisms, which appeared content, flirtatious even. I dragged my sight away from the affair that turned too boldly passionate for public spectacle.

I kept my hood up, hair tucked away, not wanting to attract any unnecessary attention while we unwound away from the suffocating castle.

“You never told us you were that influential in all of this,” I said to Davina, who’d joined us a while later.

She hooked a brow observing my fifth—or was it my seventh?—cup of wine.

“There’s a leader of the resistance in each kingdom. Those meetings keep us all connected and in the know: how many round ups are happening in each place, numbers. We’ve been building this for a long time.”

Zath whistled low. “So you’re a resistance leader too? Never would have guessed.”

Her head tipped to the side. “Why?” she challenged.

I sipped my wine, observing them over the rim with a growing tension.

“You just look so… delicate and breakable. You were posing as a handmaid, can you blame me?” He struggled to defend himself.

“You never know what the quietest are capable of,” she said.

Rose added, “She could take you and I would love to watch it.”

Zath opened his mouth to argue, but at the deceivingly innocent look in Davina’s eye that invited him to try, he wisely chose silence.

At the back wall, the establishment burst into applause, and my attention was pulled back to the game they played that I’d kept casual interest in. It was knife throwing—taking turns at hitting a board with targets with points allocated depending on where they hit. A man marked a little shy of dead center, but it was the closest anyone had gotten all night.

I’d wanted to join in, but the moment I sat down and indulged, well, I might have overdone it too much to be competent now. My liquid confidence from the alcohol made me too arrogant, however, and I stood before I had the chance to talk myself out of it.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Zath sang, but his amusement was prompting me to try.

My vision was a little blurry. The ground wasn’t straight. Still, I was slipping through the small gathered crowed with all the giddiness in the world until I made it to the front.

“What’s the winner’s prize?” I asked, not knowing who to direct it to.

The liveliness around the game hushed as more eyes fell on me.

A slightly rotund older man with a graying short beard who leaned an elbow on a nearby table, flipping a coin absentmindedly, was the one who answered.

“You name yours; I’ll name mine.”

“Are you the one competing?”

“No. You can face my champion.”

His chin jerked toward a tall man with tousled brown hair and a wicked scar along his lower left jaw. The one who’d come close to the center. He looked at me with a side smile that didn’t regard me as even remote competition.

“Drinks for my friends,” I said. I didn’t really need anything; their dumbfounded reactions would provide enough taste of victory.

“One night with you,” he countered.

Disgust rolled in me. Of course he could think of nothing better than a temporary sense of hollow gratification. I was confident I would win, and if I didn’t, well, what’s one lie?

“Deal.”

“I don’t think so.” The low menacing voice trembled down every notch of my spine. I thought the threat in those four words trembled across the floor, and the corners of the room darkened to it.

Nyte’s proximity crept closer to my back and people retreated from me with fast unease. I didn’t turn around, letting his body melt into mine and my eyes almost flutter to it. He pulled my hood down and my loose silver hair spilled free.

“Are you in the habit of gambling with what’s mine?” he purred across my ear.

“You’re ruining my fun.”

A thrill erupted in me with the hand he slipped around my abdomen, claiming tighter possession of me.

“On the contrary; I arrived just in time to give you a real challenge.”

“You want to compete with me?”

“We both know that target would become splinters before either of us won that way.”

“Then go sit with the others and let me play.”

Nyte spun me in his hold, so quickly that paired with the alcohol, it took a moment longer than it usually would to find anchor in his bright amber eyes. They were near glowing right now, like liquid metal swirled around his pupils. His magick hummed around me too, and I wondered what had made him this… alive.

“You’re not playing with anyone but me tonight.”

“You’re a killjoy.”

“Are you still willing to bet a night with you?”

Need gathered between my legs and scattered over my skin. He didn’t need a game for that, but there was something daring and exciting about his desire to gain it.

“What would I get for winning?”

“Absolutely anything you desire.”

“Arrogant of you to wager that high.”

“I never enter into a deal I can’t win.”

I had to admit I found his confidence right now highly attractive, but I kept my displeasure regardless.

“How was your meeting with Elliot and the others?”

I leaned into him, trailing my fingers up the seams and over the black embroidery on his chest.

“Terribly tedious and I’ve been suffering a dangerous desire to get back to you.” Nyte held out a hand and someone quickly approached him with five throwing daggers. “Now, I want to claim my prize and get out of here—if you will.”

He let me go, offering me the knives, which I took with apprehension. Before I could ask anything he was walking toward the target with one hand in his pocket. At the end, he turned back to face me with a wicked hint of a smile.

“If you so much as graze me with one of those, you win.”

My eyes narrowed. “No moving through the void.”

“Of course.”

If I wasn’t intoxicated, I would have matched him with arrogance and my sheer stubborn will to wipe his confidence would have given me better odds. Right now, I was doubting, but I couldn’t go back on it.

So I braced my stance, shook my head as if that would expel any of the cups of wine from my mind, and zoned my full focus on him. Nyte’s eyes became the only color in room. I didn’t have acute senses like the fae or vampires but somehow I thought I found his heartbeat that canceled the rest of the sounds in the room. I imagined each dagger I held lodging in his chest to spur my determination.

Then I threw.

The second was leaving my hand before the first speared into the wall, which he avoided with an easy side step toward me. He twisted to the opposite side of my next knife. Ducked under my third. The target of him was larger with each fraction of closed distance but he glided left of my fourth, then somehow fucking caught my fifth by the handle.

Then it was over when he reached me with a hand grabbing my jaw.

“Mine.”

Nyte kissed me despite my frustration. I took the irritation of my loss out on him. When his arm curved tightly around me, I lifted weightlessly into his arms, my legs circling his waist.

The pull of the void surrounded us but our mouths never broke apart. Icy air whipped across my cheeks but my skin was still heating with the wrap of his body and the tight press of him with my back now against a wall.

I think I moaned his name, so lost in the scent and taste of him I might have been begging for something inappropriate for where we were. He wanted me too. His hips jerked against my core, making every stitch of my pants torturous to the friction of his hard cock.

“Aren’t you going to take us somewhere to claim your reward?” I said breathily when he kissed hungrily down my neck.

“Not tonight. I just needed a moment with you when I was close to tearing out the eyes of every man that was watching you in there.”

“Overreacting as always.”

“There’s a man in there who asked for a night with you and is still breathing; I’d consider myself very merciful right now.”

In the haze of my lust I didn’t care for the cold or the fact we were outside where anyone could stumble upon us. My hand reached between us, hooking the waistline of his pants. Before I could do anything he was pulling us through the void again and the alcohol made everything spin so much faster.

My back pressed against something far softer and warmer, and only Nyte’s hair tipping over his forehead and leaning over me made me aware that I was lying down now.

“This isn’t as exciting,” I said, hooking my knees around his hips and reaching between us again.

He took my wrists this time, pinning them by my head as he groaned, leaning in to plant a kiss to my neck.

“You’re sweet torture, Starlight.”

His voice was thick, wanting, and I couldn’t understand why he was holding back.

“Stop treating me like glass.”

“I’m not above breaking you if you were. But intoxication is a line I won’t cross.”

“I’m telling you I want it.”

“Your lust-clouded, alcohol-infused thoughts are telling me that. If you wake up tomorrow and ask again, I’ll happily oblige.”

“Fine,” I said.

The bastard drew back with twinkling amused eyes.

“Dress for bed,” he ordered, slipping off me.

We were in my rooms, and he knew where everything was as he reached a dresser, picked a black satin nightgown, and brought it to me.

“I think I’ll sleep naked.”

The arm he extended to me fell and he looked skyward as if for a plea of sanity.

He laid the gown on the bed regardless, then leaned in to kiss me once. “My sweet torture,” he murmured against my lips.

He moved to leave but what Tarran had said earlier had been taunting my thoughts all day and the insecurity tumbled out of me.

“Nyte?”

“Starlight.”

“Have you ever… betrayed me?”

He searched my eyes thoughtfully, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

“I think it depends on who you ask.”

“You always have a way of avoiding direct answers.” I huffed, sinking down on the pillows. Nyte sat on the edge of the bed.

“No. I just don’t often think there’s the whole truth in a single one. But what is always true is that betrayal never comes from your enemies.”

“You’re my enemy.”

“Is that what you feel?”

“No… but I think I feel guilt for it, like I should say yes.”

“It’s your past coming back in feelings rather than images. This is good.”

“Has—” I studied him with my next question, growing nervous to mention him. “Has Auster ever betrayed me?”

Nyte’s eyes narrowed for a second.

“Why are you asking this?”

“I’m trying to figure out who I can trust.”

“My word to your half drunk mind isn’t going to help you with that,” he said, but it was with an edge of apology like he wished he could. “You’ll get the chance to figure that out for yourself. Though I try not to think about you with him at all.”

My guilt came in such a crashing wave that I could barely look at him. Was it betrayal to have met Auster and not have told Nyte? Even more so to be planning to meet with him again away from here. I couldn’t risk Nyte stopping me.

“I’ll be away from the castle tomorrow,” he said. “I found out where Drystan has been hiding and I have to deal with him. We’re going to find out how the transitioned vampire numbers are growing. I’d take you with me, but you might want the day to recover.”

This was the opportunity I’d been waiting for. I could have met with Auster today but my conscience couldn’t settle without seeing Calix. So tomorrow would be my next chance, as much as I wanted to agree to go with Nyte, especially with the mention of Drystan.

I rubbed my temples. The strings of this war were starting to pull my wants and focus in different directions.

“Probably best I stay and rest,” I agreed with no small amount of ache for the lie.

Nyte nodded, looking at me with such soft eyes I treasured these quiet moments he bore to me without even realizing.

“You know how to call for me. Anytime, any distance.”

“Yes,” I whispered.

He gave a barely-there smile before smoke and stars stole him away. My hand reached out to the ghost of his impression on the bed.

Sitting up, I began to undress. But before I took my shirt off my eyes cast outside and my skin broke a shiver, as I wondered if Auster could be watching again. I couldn’t see any pale flicker that would indicate wings.

I was never shy about my nakedness. It only became sexually empowering when there was someone I wanted to crave me; otherwise it was just flesh. So I changed, uncaring if there could be ten celestials watching. I admired my silver markings in the mirror, thinking of the fae resistance. My magick glowed faintly, wanting to join their rebellion. It was a spark of purpose I needed to see.

No longer was the war something that was a fable when it couldn’t be seen. Nor an idle threat when it couldn’t be felt. I had to want to see it. And I had to want to face it.