Page 263 of The Morally Grey Billionaires Boxset

Declan

"No, absolutely not. I’m not going to accept this from you.

No way." She folds her arms over her chest, which only makes her tits push out against the hospital gown. I know she’s not wearing a bra under that.

I know because I wasn’t able to stop myself from palming them to soothe myself to sleep.

After I crawled into bed and pulled her into my arms so I could share my warmth with her.

She instantly settled, and in a practiced gesture, she pushed her butt into my crotch, which notched up my need for her further.

I’m never going to be in the same space as her and not want to be buried within her hot, tight hole.

I’m never going to not be able to think of her every moment I’m away from her.

I’m never not going to want to protect her from the world.

Never be unable to want to shield her from the attention of everyone else.

It’s not in my DNA to rein in that possessive side of me.

It’s who I am. And it’s time we both accept it.

"Yes, you are."

"No. I’m not." She tips up her chin.

I had her moved to a hospital suite as soon as she'd recovered enough. Strong enough, that is, to be able to be transferred, not strong enough to find that streak of adamancy in her that has brought us to loggerheads so many times before.

"This is not a negotiation, Rabbit. Nor a request. This is a fucking order.

" I glare at her, and she holds my gaze for a second, then another.

Then her lips quiver, her eyes grow brighter, and a teardrop slides down her cheek.

I bend my head and lick it up. "Please, baby. Please, let me do this for you."

She shivers. "Don’t do that."

"Why not?"

"I don’t like it."

"Your body says otherwise." I palm her tit, and the telltale hardness of her nipple stabs into my palm. I tilt my head at her, but she’s not impressed.

"Don’t change the topic with sex."

"There's no topic to change, because you’re going to accept this from me."

"You mean, your kidney?"

"Yes."

She laughs, but it sounds hollow.

My heart feels like it’s going to break through my chest. "No, baby, I’m not going to let you give up. I’m not going to let you wallow in self-pity or get depressed. We identified the problem and found the solution. Now, let’s just implement it, shall we?"

She rubs at her temple. "How can you always reduce everything to cold, hard logic?"

"It’s what I’m best at."

"It’s a lot to take in." She begins to look away, but I pinch her chin, so she has no choice but to stay focused on my face. And to look into my eyes. Which is one way of ensuring she complies with what I have in mind.

"It is a lot. And I blame myself for things getting to this stage."

She scoffs. "It’s hardly your fault I was ill with a streptococcal infection that led to needing a kidney transplant. It’s a one in one-thousand chance that this could happen." She hunches her shoulders. "Just my luck that point-zero-zero-one percent settled on me."

"And the chances are even lower that I'd turn out to be a tissue match. But here we are. I want to do this for you. I order you to let me do this for you."

She squeezes her eyes shut. "Isn’t it enough that you suffered from what my brother did to you? Now you want to put yourself through something potentially life-threatening, and—"

I place my palm over her mouth. "I’d sacrifice myself over and over again for you. It’s the only thing I can think of to do to make up for how much I hurt you."

She glances away then back at me. “Are you saying these things because you think that’s what I want to hear, or do you mean it?”

“What do you think?”

“I think.” She swallow, “I... I...“ She shakes her head. “I want to believe you mean it, but after everything you did, I’m not sure what to make of it.”

My heart slams into my ribcage, and my pulse rate shoots up. I roll off the bed then sink to my knees.

“Wh-wh-what are you doing?” She begins to sit up, but I grip her shoulder and gently apply pressure, so she sinks back against the pillow. “What are you doing, Delcan?”

“Trying to show you how sorry I am for everything I put you through. As you know, I’m not good at expressing my feelings, Rabbit, but I’m going to try.”

Her eyes fill with more tears, and she blinks them away. “You don’t have to do this.”

“I do. I know you think I’m donating my kidney because, well, who wouldn’t in my situation—”

“There are many who wouldn’t, and—” She begins to speak, but I hold up my hand.

“Please let me speak. Let me do this. Please, hear me out, baby. Please.”

She bites the inside of her cheek, then nods.

“I know I treated you horribly. I shouldn’t have accepted Nikolai as my investor.

Shouldn’t have agreed to pretend to be engaged to his rival’s daughter.

Shouldn’t have planned it so you walked in on us.

Shouldn’t have broken your heart. Shouldn’t have decided for both of us that it was the right thing to do to alienate you, so you’d leave me.

I broke your heart when I did that. I should have trusted you enough to share everything with you.

And then, after finally coming clean to you, I shouldn’t have left you and gone on the shoot. ”

“Why did you do that, Declan? After you told me about your deal with the Bratva, and how being beaten up by my brother’s men affected not just your physical appearance but also your emotional state-of-mind, after sharing how the BDSM lifestyle helps you get in touch with your feelings…

After all of that, you still left me. How could you do that? ”

Pain slices through my chest and spreads to my extremities. My stomach heaves, a pressure drums behind my eyes. It’s as if every part of me is slowly coming alive. The sensations that have been suppressed inside me for so long seem to be clawing at my insides and tearing their way out.

“I’m so sorry for what I did. I’ll do anything to make it up to you. I’d burn the world down for you, if I could. I’d go to the ends of the earth, I’d... Give up my career just to see you happy and healthy and safe. Let me do this for you, baby, please. I beg you.”

“And then what? You’ll give me your kidney, and then things will go back to being as they were? We’ll recover, and you’ll take off again without telling me?”

I wince. The pressure behind my eyes builds until I’m sure my eyeballs are going to burst. “Never. I’m never going to leave you again.

I’ll never forget how it felt to see you collapse on that stage.

To see your prone body and be so far away and not be able to do anything to help you.

I’m never going to put myself in a situation where I’m not there for you.

" I take a breath, then continue pushing out words through a throat that's constricting. "You’re the most important thing in the world for me. You’re more important than the very air I breathe. You’re it for me, baby.

And I won’t let even death take you away from me. ” I blink, and her gaze widens.

She reaches up and touches a finger to my cheek. When she holds it up, moisture clings to her fingertip.

“Declan, you’re crying,” she whispers.

Another tear joins the first. I touch my other cheek, and my finger comes away wet. I'm speechless. All I can do is nod.

“After what you told me about your feelings being dulled… I didn’t think you could express your emotions, let alone shed tears.”

“Neither did I," I whisper. "I’ve never felt as deeply as I do now, on my knees in front of you, begging you to give me a chance to save your life. Please, baby, let me do this for you, please?”