Page 238 of The Morally Grey Billionaires Boxset

Declan

"Nikolai Solonik. He’s responsible for this?

" Cade holds up his phone. He’s referring, not to the fact that a photo of Solene slapping me is all over the internet, but the fact that she's pissed with me. As for the slap? I deserved it. If only, I’d managed to stop the picture from getting out, though.

I took down the drone, but that didn't make a difference.

"Niko Solonik, the head of the Bratva? How are you involved with him?" a new voice asks.

"Okay, that’s it. I’m not waiting around for you three to have a go at me next. I’ve heard enough of how you counseled Cade as he struggled through his romance with Abby—"

"And look at him, happily married now," JJ says in a sage tone.

"You mean, he’s joined the ball and chain club the rest of you have taken membership in, but which I’m not interested in, especially not when I need to give my full attention to my career." I rise to my feet, when JJ closes the distance to my chair.

He grabs my shoulder and pushes me down. "Sit down, boy."

"I’m not your son who you can boss around. Oh, sorry, you can’t boss him around, either, given you hooked up with his girlfriend." I smirk. "Awkward."

JJ sets his jaw. A nerve pops at his temple. For a second, I’m sure he’s going to lose his temper, but then he seems to get a hold of himself. "You’re fighting back. Good. You need to channel some of that aggression toward fighting for your woman."

"She’s not my—"

"Not your woman. Is that what you’re going to say?" Sinclair asks in a voice that’s pleasant, but which hints at the cold ruthlessness he’s well known for in boardroom circles, or so I’ve heard from my brother Arpad, who’s one of Sinclair’s friends and partners in 7A.

"What’s it to you anyway?" I jut out my chin.

"I think the question to be asked is, Why is Nikolai Solonik involved in your life in any form?" Michael Sovrano’s hard voice hangs in the air like a black cloud intent on pissing all over my life.

A-n-d, there you have it. Trust the ex-Don of the Cosa Nostra to get to the crux of the matter. Guess it takes a Mafia guy with the spirit of the Cosa Nostra running through the veins of his ancestors to suss out the problem here.

I shake off JJ’s hold and spring to my feet. "I did not ask the lot of you to intervene, so back the fuck off."

"Aha, so it’s not as out-of-your hands as you make it out to be, then." JJ looks me up and down. "What did you barter with him, you motherfucker?"

I feel the blood drain from my face. "The fuck you mean?"

"You struck a deal with him. It’s the only reason he asked you for what he did. Given what we saw earlier, with your woman—"

"Not my woman," anymore, I growl.

"—running out with tears streaming down her cheeks, it seems to have cost you dearly."

My heart pounds into my ribcage. The veins swell at my temples.

Anger coils in my guts until it feels like I’ve swallowed a volcano that’s bubbling and sizzling and threatening to blow at any time.

I stalk toward the doorway but Cade—the traitor—is already there, blocking my way.

He slams the door shut and leans against it.

"You going to answer the question?" he asks softly.

"How much clearer do I have to be? It’s none of your damn business," I snap.

"Afraid it is, ol’ chap." Cade folds his arms across his chest. "You’re a friend, the closest I have to a brother, other than Knight. I can’t let you screw up your life, much as you seem to be hellbent on doing so."

The anger rears forward. The acidic notes of rage, combined with the blinding sense that I’ve fucked things up beyond belief envelops my senses. I ball my fingers into fists, then throw them up.

Cade lowers his hands to his sides. He rolls his shoulders. "You going to fight me on this, bro?"

My chest rises and falls, and my pulse thuds at my temples, behind my eyeballs, deep in my chest—where my heart once resided but which is now just an empty cavity because she took it with her.

She’s gone. And I can’t change it. I’ve lost her, and it’s all my fault.

The realization crashes into my chest like a sledgehammer.

The breath whooshes out of me. Just like that, the fight drains out of me, and I just want to curl into a ball and die.

"Fucking fuck." I hang my head. "She’s too good for me. It’s only right she walked out on me."

"No shit," interjects Sinclair. "They're all too good for us. Thank god they haven't figured that out."

The other men laugh with him, but I don't have it in me.

"What did you agree to do?" Cade’s eyebrows knit.

"More to the point, what did Solonik promise you?" Michael growls.

I pivot, then stab a finger at him. "Shut the fuck up."

Michael’s lips thin. His shoulder muscles seem to swell.

"You’re upset; it’s why I’ll allow you this one transgression.

" His black eyes seem to grow even darker. He’s a motherfuckin’ snake, is who he is.

Like I fucking care? If not for the fact I need to be on camera in the next forty-eight hours, I’d swing at the man.

Not that it’s advisable to pick a fight with the man who’s a legend in the underground world, and with the cops, as well.

"All right; back up, guys." JJ prowls over and stands between us. "Let’s all take a seat, shall we?"

"Let’s not," I growl.

He turns on me. "Sit down, dickwipe, and tell us what happened. We're trying to help you unfuck whatever the fuck you did. You’ve got the most powerful men in the country on your side. You don’t want to lose this fucking opportunity to try to set things right."

I open my mouth, but he throws up his hand. "You need us. Don’t even try to claim otherwise."

I draw in a breath, then another. Then force my muscles to unwind. Five-four-three-two-one. Some of the anger ebbs away. Fucking acting classes have their uses when you least expect it. I take a few steps to the side, so I’m no longer in the center of this very uncomfortable circle.

"Fifty percent of my investors pulled out of funding my movie. I needed to bridge the gap. So, I struck a deal with Nikolai Solonik."

"I fucking knew it," Michael snarls.

"The fuck were you thinking, resting dickface?" Sinclair Sterling snaps.

"That I needed to make another film and fast. And this time, I was going to source the funding.

I was going to produce it, so I no longer had to hand over control to some prick…

" I pause. The irony of my statement is not lost on me. "…who thinks he’s the greatest creative brain alive, when in reality, all he does is destroy my role until I don’t believe in the project anymore, and then it shows on screen, and you know what happens after that?

" I make a sound like that of a plane falling out of the sky as I dive my hand to the ground. "Crash and burn, like my future."

"Or your love life." JJ scowls at me.

"It was a choice." I raise a shoulder.

"Did you do what I think you did?" The furrow between JJ’s eyebrows deepens.

I shake my head. "Nikolai agreed to front the money. I had carte blanche with it. I could choose my own creative team, the cast, the script. You know what that means to an actor like me?"

"Like you won the lottery?" Sinclair drums his fingers on his chest. "What was the catch?"

I rub the back of my neck. "Nothing. At least, not then. He said he’d call in a favor and—"

Sinclair groans.

"—he did." JJ completes my sentence.

I throw up my hands. "If you guys already know everything, why am I even bothering to speak?"

"Because you’re the shit-stain who gambled away your love for your career," Sinclair snaps.

"All I did was agree to an arranged relationship with the woman. One in which I’d get engaged to her, but there would be no real romantic relationship between us. And no marriage.”

"Who is she and why the hell does he want you to do that?" JJ frowns.

"The fuck if I know. Or care." I raise a shoulder. "I secured my future."

"You lost your present." He reaches forward and slaps the back of my head.

“Hey!” I stiffen. “Watch out, old man; you’re stepping across the line now.”

“Stepping across the line? It’s you who stepped across the line.” He bites out the words with such force, spittle sprays from his mouth.” Why did you not come to one of us for the money?”

Cade coughs. “My point exactly.”

Traitor. I glare at him.

He raises his shoulders. “I did tell you so.”

I dig my fingers into my hair and tug. “I will not take money from my friends to fund a venture. It’s a sure-fire way to lose relationships.” I glare between the men. “And don’t tell me you don’t agree.”

JJ scowls.

Michael firms his lips.

Sinclair’s eyebrows knit.

None of them say anything. “That’s what I thought.” I roll my shoulders to try to alleviate the ache that’s settled between them, not that it helps any. "I saw an opportunity and took it.”

"At what cost, though?" Sinclair tilts his head.

At the cost of my heart. At the cost of my living out the rest of my life knowing I’ll never find anyone like her. Knowing I’ll never feel like this about anyone else. Knowing I love her. My heart stutters. Goddam it, I love her.

I did the right thing in making her hate me. She deserves someone better than me, someone who doesn't share my proclivities. And every time I see her with another man, I’m going to want to kill myself.

I allow my lips to curl. "It’s all or nothing.

You get one opportunity to get things right.

You get that one big, shining, tingling feeling once in your lifetime, and for me—" I slap my chest, once more playing the role of egotistical Hollywood film star. It’s what my friends expect to see, after all. "This was it."

It was also the perfect opportunity to give her a reason to walk away from me and find someone more worthy.

When I found out about the planned photo-op, I knew that was my chance.

I figured, I could arrange things so she’d walked in on me with Niko’s woman.

This was the perfect opportunity to make her hate me.

And when Solene told me what she saw, I knew my plan was working.

I could use her insecurities to my advantage.

I hated myself for even thinking it, but this could be the key to pushing her away.

I had to use it. Of course, she wasn’t buying the story I was engaged to someone else.

I shouldn't have been surprised; we've played that game before.

Which is when I decided to blame it on my desire for revenge for what her brother did to me.

Now, she hates me. I hate myself for making her hate me.

I wish there had been a way to do this without hurting her, but I needed to make sure she'll never care for me again.

I needed to prove to her that the me she fell in love with when she was seventeen, is not the same me today.

I curl my fingers into fists at my sides.

She's never going to forgive me for what I did.

But as long as she has a chance to find the right man, and the kind of future she deserves, it will be worth it.

Which makes me wonder. Maybe the old me is hiding in here somewhere.

I shake my head to dislodge that thought.

Michael scoffs, "Coming to an understanding with the head of the Bratva, who’s known to squeeze his opponents of their every last drop of utility… Do you realize how insane your plan is?"

"You should know; haven't you done the same?"

He opens his mouth to finish, but this time, I raise my hand. "No, let me finish. You know I’m right. This is the tactic you've used at every turning point in your life, and look where it's gotten you."

"I also got my head out of my ass long enough to marry the love of my life with whom I now have a child," Michael counters.

"Maybe that’s not what I want." I thrust out my chest. "Maybe getting this movie done and racing it to the top of the box office is the future I want."

"Maybe you’re as stupid as you come across." JJ leans forward on the balls of his feet.

"Maybe I want the lot of you to butt out of my life."

"We’ve established that’s not happening. Deal with it," Michael says in a voice that brooks no argument.

A-n-d, my acting skills have never come in handier than now. Even my friends are willing to buy my act as someone willing to do anything to star in the movie that will catapult me to the top of my career. Even Solene bought it.

And it’s true, that’s why I decided to get Nikolai Solonik to invest in my film.

And when he called in his favor, I struggled.

I didn't want to agree. When it comes down to it, I didn't want to let Solene go, but I knew it was best for her.

So, I embraced what I had to do, and when I realized I could use the situation to get her to walk away from me, I had to do that, too.

And why do I have to keep reminding myself I did this for her?

All I have left now is this movie. Something I’ve worked for all my life. So why am I not more thrilled about it? Why is it that, without her, nothing holds the same attraction for me?

"Declan, are you listening?" Sinclair’s voice cuts through my thoughts.

I glance between the assembled men, then square my shoulders. "I’m going through with this, and nothing you guys say can change my mind."

Sinclair opens his mouth to speak, when my phone buzzes. I ignore it, and it stops. Then, another buzzing sounds—Cade’s phone, this time. We glance at each other, then he reaches for his phone, checks the screen and frowns.

"Hello?" He answers. "Yes, this is Cade Kingston." He listens to the voice on the other side, then pales. "How long has he been missing?"