Page 240 of The Morally Grey Billionaires Boxset

Three months later

Declan

"You have to try to see her again." Giorgina's voice floats up from the phone I placed on the floor next to the punching bag.

"Not sure she agrees with that," I reply as I continue to pummel the punching bag in the private gym set up for me in one of the trailers on location. We’ve been shooting in New Zealand for the last month.

With the money from Niko Solonik coming through, and the remaining investors ready to play ball, I restarted the production, and this time, on my terms.

And every moment of every day, I've missed her.

I’ve thrown myself into my work, but not even being immersed in my dream project has gotten her out of my mind.

The pain in her eyes when I told her I’d only pretended to be emotionally involved with her will live with me forever.

I'm scum of the lowest order. Worse than the news-hungry paps who followed me around.

A bottom feeder. That's me. No, I'm worse than that.

I hurt her in the worst possible way. I went back on my word that I'd forgiven her for what her brother did to me. I hit her where it would cause the worst damage. And I did it, so she’d forget about me and move on—which is what I wanted, right?

Now she can find someone who'll treat her like the princess she is and not the whore I insisted on degrading her to every time we were together. Not someone whose perverse tendencies would debase her. Is it supposed to hurt so much to do something for the benefit of someone else?

She deserves better. So why is it that I can’t move on from her?

"Declan, you still there?” Giorgina asks.

A thread of worry laces her tone, a first from my hard-headed PR manager.

It shows how distracted I’ve been since I walked away from my woman.

I need to get my head back in the game. Need to move on.

Need to get my act together and focus on my dream project.

I set my jaw. “I’m good.” I’m not. The need to see her has grown daily.

A throbbing, insistent ache that has infiltrated every cell in my body.

At least, she’s safe. I can take some solace in that.

I know this because the security detail she employed in place of Rick was also vetted by me.

Not that she knows that. She’s also unaware that Harry is keeping me posted on her performances, and on whether she's seeing anyone else. She's not. That arsehole owes me, after all. It’s the only reason I’ve managed to stop myself from jumping on a flight and going to her.

To apologize and tell her how badly I screwed up.

But she’s better off without me, and that’s what has stopped me.

Now, if only I could focus on the movie before I screw it up beyond redemption.

“O-kay.” She hesitates. "You do realize, it doesn’t matter what you think she thinks. Question is, what do you think? Are you sure things are over between the two of you?" she asks.

I lower my hands to my sides. My breath comes in pants. Sweat flows down my temples and drips down from my chin.

“Absolutely.” I grab my towel from the floor and wipe my face. “Regardless of what I think or want, whatever was between us is over. She already announced that to her audience," I remind Giorgina.

"It’s true, the two of you haven’t been seen together since, but all it needs is one well-placed photo-op and—"

"She’d never agree to it."

"But you’d be open to it?"

I pick up the phone, then walk over to place it on the bench pushed up against one wall of the room. "It doesn’t matter." I begin my cooling down exercises. "I’ve hurt her enough. I’m not going to subject her to more of the media scrutiny that comes from our being seen together."

She frowns. "What happened between the two of you?"

Anger squeezes my guts. Anger at myself. That dull thud behind my breastbone, the one that hasn’t faded since the day I told her I have a fiancée, ratchets up in intensity. "That’s between her and me."

"I wish I could agree with that, but I’m afraid the flop of your last film at the box office says otherwise."

I pause, then drop down into a push up.

"And—" She hesitates.

"Go on, Giorgina, spit it out."

"The financiers of your existing project—not the Sovranos, but the rest—uh—they're thinking of pulling out."

I stay poised in plank position. "The fuck you talking about?"

"Sorry." I hear her swallow. "I know it’s not ideal news."

"Their contracts are air-tight; they can’t just pull out."

"And you and I both know, if they want to, they can find loopholes and do just that."

"I’ll sue every last one of them," I growl.

"It’s not going to make them invest the money."

I jump to my feet, grab the phone and squeeze my fingers around the device with such force the cover cracks.

"What’s that?" Giorgina's voice rises in pitch. "You okay? Did you break something?"

"Not yet, but I’m going to." I begin to pace. "I’m going to find a way to get them to honor their funding commitment. I’m—"

"And they will, on one condition."

I rotate my neck, and my joints pop. "Nope. Whatever it is, no."

"But—"

"It’s not happening, Giorgina."

"Will you, at least—"

I disconnect the phone and continue to pace.

No way am I going to sit across from Solene and see the hurt and anger in her eyes, knowing I'm responsible for putting it there. I’m going to find another way to make this movie happen.

I’m Declan-fucking-Beauchamp. I didn’t get this far to watch my dream go up in smoke.

There are no guarantees in Hollywood. Only a fraction of movies get made here, and an even smaller fraction of them get released.

And a very tiny percentage of them are hits.

I bet everything I have on this movie, including her, and I’m going to find a way to get it made… Without having to go to her for help.

My phone rings again. It’s Cade. I accept the video call, and his face appears on screen. He’s unshaven, dark circles under his eyes. He’s wearing a faded sweatshirt, and by his surroundings, I gather he’s home in London.

"Any news on Knight?" I pause.

He shakes his head.

"Fuck, he’s been missing for three months.

" I wanted to help with the efforts to look for him, but Abby and Cade insisted I continue with the shooting. Between Sinclair, JJ and Michael, they mobilized both the law and those on the other side of the law to help with the search. They convinced me I wouldn’t be able to add anything more to the efforts.

Which is the only reason I've stayed here and continued to shoot.

It also gives me a reason to be far away from everyone I know. Including her.

He drags his fingers through his hair, so it stands up further. "There have been no demands made. No word from the other side as to whether he and his team are alive or not."

I rub the back of my neck. "Where did the flight go down?"

"They lost touch close to the border of Ukraine and Russia. He was part of a discreet team of British military personnel sent on a recon mission to Russia."

"Jesus."

He nods. "It’s not looking good."

"He has to be alive. That bastard is hard to kill. He’s been on dangerous missions before and survived. Remember how he went missing in the Middle East?"

"And resurfaced three weeks later." His jaw tightens. "It’s been longer this time."

“He’ll get through this. He’ll be back.” He has to. I need to believe in it.

Both of us fall silent for a few seconds then I rub my neck. "I wish there was something I could do. It feels wrong to be out here, working on my film instead of putting my efforts into finding him."

"What you can do is stay focused on making this movie. It’s what you’ve worked toward your entire life. Knight wouldn't want you to take your focus off it now."

I bark out a laugh. “A movie that’s stalled again.”

“Again?” He frowns.

“This time, the financiers—not the Soloniks—want her to star in the movie with me. Apparently, our joint star appeal outweighs the clout I carry on my own.” Whatever I do, there’s no getting away from her presence in my life.

He looks at me with a strange expression. "I could have sworn you loved her."

When I stay silent, he nods. "I see."

"I didn’t say anything,” I growl.

"You don’t need to. You broke her heart, you dickhead.”

I shuffle my feet.

"You do realize, it’s time for you to make amends?” he says slowly.

I hold up my hand. "Let me guess. You want me to go all emo and 'fess up what I did, and then, you’re going to give me the kind of advice JJ, Michael and Sinclair gave you."

His lips quirk, then he shakes his head. "Nope."

I stare. "You’re not?"

"I’m not, because I have a feeling whatever you did is not something she’s ever going to forgive you for, even after you grovel."

I thrust out my chest. "I made my choice, and I’m going to see it through."

"But at what cost? You stand to lose the love of your life and your career."

"Not if I can help it."

He looks closely at me. "What are you planning, Declan?"