Page 20 of The Monsters Within

“You, Cash. You’re inside my head. You’ve been inside my head since the first day I saw you.”

He lowered his body over mine and rested on his elbows. Even with my jeans still on, I could feel how hard he was.

“What am I doing inside your head?”

“Saving me,” I whispered, before leaning up and kissing him. I felt his weight all at once, like a warm blanket settling over me. His lips grazed over me. Eliciting shivers throughout my body. I pulled him closer. I wanted him to consume me.

His tongue seared a path down my neck. I felt him lick the tattoo on my shoulder. More vines covered my body. The tattoos were cathartic. A way to feel my mom and brother with me everywhere I went.

Cash lifted my arm and kissed down to my elbow, then further to my wrist and back to my shoulder. He moved to the other side, doing the same with my right arm before moving to my chest.

He ignored my breasts and nipples, instead covering my collarbone with light pecks. If his goal was torture, he was succeeding. I wanted him to move faster. I knew what he was doing and where he was headed.

“Relax, Rosie.”

“I can’t.” The words came out on a shaky breath. He looked up at me and his eyes spoke volumes. They told me everything my ears heard the other day that my mind refused to believe.

“I love you, baby.”

I closed my eyes. It hurt to look at him. Seeing the love, the desire, the lust. It would all disappear if he learned the truth.

When he learns the truth.

He continued down my sternum. I wanted to push him away, but I knew it would be fruitless. He told me on the mountain hewanted to trace every tattoo with his tongue. I held still while he tormented me, knowing that the longer I put it off, the worse it would get.

I felt his tongue ring my belly button, then pull the barbell between his teeth, before letting it go, only to flick it with his tongue before moving on.

His hands grasped at my waistband, pulling at my jeans. I couldn’t look at him, but I felt his piercing stare as he removed the rest of my clothes.

He sat back on his feet, his hands on my ankles, and watched me. His eyes traveled over me everywhere but my thighs.

“Are you ready, Rosie?”

I shook my head. Closing my eyes tightly against the sight of his... pity? Anger? Shame? I didn’t know what he was thinking because I refused to ask.

The bed shifted. Cash spread my knees wide and settled between them. My chest rose with every fearful inhale, waiting for him to touch me. When I felt his chin resting on my pubic bone, I opened one eye and peered down at him.

My knees were over his shoulders; his hands rested on my belly. He watched me, waiting for my reaction while I anticipated his.

“Watch me, Rosie. Don’t take your eyes off me.”

I nodded tentatively. I didn’t know if I could obey, but I wanted to. He leaned up on his elbows, his eyes locking with mine until he turned to look at my thigh.

Shame overtook me. My eyes closed in tandem with my knees until I heard his sharp bark. “Kytten!”

My eyes snapped open; my anger at his use of my road name burned in me.

“Do not take your eyes off me again.” His voice was hard, stern. But the look in his eyes was soft. He was a contradiction that confused me.

He turned his head again to my thigh, and it took everything in me not to look away. He leaned over and kissed my leg. Running his tongue over one of the larger scars that wasn’t hidden quite as well.

He moved to another, then another. First, kissing each scar before tracing it with his tongue. When he was done, he moved to the other side, repeating each motion over every scar he found.

“These do not define your worth.”

But they did.

“These do not make you unlovable.”