Page 6 of The Me I Left Behind

That statement hurt her own heart.

Carol went on. “I know you said there’ve been other women. But do you think this time, with this woman, it’s different, Mom? They have a baby. Is Dad coming home, or what?”

Good question. “I don’t know, sweetheart.”

“But if he loves her and the baby, then what? What happens to us? Me and Jason and Chloe? What happens to you?”

“Sweetheart, let’s not go there, yet.” She paused, waiting to see if Carol said anything more. She didn’t.

They sat for a few minutes, gazing up into the night. The rhythm of the waves provided a steady beat behind the silence, ticking off time.

Finally, Maggie said, “Julia will look into some legal things for me, here and in Australia.” She wondered if Carol just wanted something to hang her hat on. “I don’t know what is going to happen, honey, but there are obviously some things to figure out.”

“I didn’t think about that.”

“I’m not sure I can stay married to him.”

Carol twisted in the seat and sat up slightly, searching Maggie’s face. “You mean divorce?”

Shit. Maybe too soon.

She shrugged. “Sweetheart, I don’t know. Right now, I never want to see him again.”

Carol blinked several times, then slowly nodded. “I get that. I don’t either. What I don’t get is how it all works afterward.”

“After a divorce?”

“Yeah. With all of us.” She stared. “I mean, you don’t work. How will the bills get paid? Will Dad have to pay something? Child support? Will we have to move out of our house? What about school? I know it’s expensive.” She paused, glancing off, then back again. “College?”

“Oh, sweetheart.” Panic gripped Maggie’s heart. Obviously, this was worrying her. “That’s a lot to digest. I don’t know the answers to any of it, but I will say this—let us figure that out. Your dad and me. That’s not for you to worry about.”

“But I do worry. I have been. I don’t know what is going to happen in the future.”

“Do we ever, honey?”

Carol stared, and the look behind her eyes told Maggie she was frightened. “No. And that’s scary.”

“I know.” Maggie squeezed her tighter. This uncertainty was going to be a problem. “I just don’t have answers now, sweetheart. Negotiating with your dad might be difficult. But Julia—”

“She’s a good lawyer, isn’t she?”

“She is.”

“She’ll screw Dad over. Won’t she?”

Hell, where was Carol’s head? With a forefinger, she pushed back a strand of hair covering one of her eyes. “Honey, Julia will follow the law and do what’s best—”

Carol grasped her hand. “No, Mom. Julianeedsto screw him over. Look at all he’s done! He’s totally messed up all our lives. He’s a fucking asshole!”

They locked gazes for a moment, then burst into laughter.

They hugged and giggled, and sank back down into the beach chair, wrapping themselves up again with the blanket. After a moment, they settled back into silence.

“Even though he’s not here, it still feels like it. You know?” Carol murmured.

Maggie moved in her seat a little to look at her daughter. “He’s thousands of miles away. He can’t hurt us.”

“Really?” Carol’s eyes flared wider. “Mom, he hurts us all the time.”