Page 59 of The Me I Left Behind

Jason’s eyes widened.

Maggie moved closer. He took a step back.

“Jason,” she whispered. “Your dad is living with another woman in Australia, and they have a child together. And after we got home from Tuckaway Bay, I broke into his locked office and searched for more information. Whatever I could find. Turnedout he had cameras in there and saw me. That’s why he came back. And that’s how I ended up in the E.R.” She stared, held his gaze.

Jason stood unmoving, barely breathing, it seemed. “Dad has another kid?”

“Unfortunately, yes.”

Maggie blinked away tears and glanced at the couch. At some point, Chloe had gotten up and moved to the coffee table, where she’d taken out a coloring book and crayons.Oh, my sweet baby….

Jason sat, his head hanging. “I don’t want to move to Australia, Mom. I don’t even want to visit him in Australia. I don’t have to. Do I?”

Thank God he’s softening somewhat. “That’s what Julia and I are working on. I don’t want any of you to be with him. He’s not good for you, for any of us. I want you with me and I will fight to make sure that happens. But your dad….”

Maggie glanced at each of her kids again.

Chloe kept coloring. Staring at her paper. Silently scribbling hard and fast.

Carol just sat there, looking sort of numb. This had taken its toll on her, hadn’t it? Was she thinking about how her life was unraveling? How everything she’d ever had—everything Max had given her, provided for her, awarded to her—was going to stop? He’d always doted on her so….

“I’m with Jason. I really don’t want to be with him. But Dad has connections,” Carol said. “And that sucks. Will a judge make us?”

“I pray not. Julia will do her best. She’s an excellent attorney,” Maggie said.

“I’m almost eighteen, though. I can choose, right? Have a say?”

Maggie nodded. “I don’t know the exact age. Maybe Jason can choose, too.”

“Me, too?” Chloe begged. “Mommy, I get to choose, too. I choose you!”

Her heart literally felt like it was snapping into pieces.

I don’t know what my own life is going to look like. How can I help these kids feel secure in all this?How will they know, and trust, that I can keep them safe? Fed? Warm and happy?

She knew in her heart she would fight tooth and nail for custody, but Carol was right. Max had power. Connections. And around there that was everything—white male, good-old-boy network power, which was abundant in this southern state. Plus, Max played golf with the judge.

“Mommy?” Chloe looked up from her coloring book, searching Maggie’s eyes. She pressed so hard on her crayon that it broke, flipping off the coffee table. “Who will tuck me in? Daddy doesn’t know how.” Big fat tears made a slow progression down her cheeks, and her baby girl started crying, mumbling. “I don’t like when Daddy throws things. Will I still go to my school? Will you take me? I don’t like riding the bus with other kids. They’re mean and icky.”

That’s when Maggie’s soul cracked. Fully and completely. Splintered.

She quickly swept Chloe into a tight hug, her chest tight and aching, unable to stop her sobs. Jason and Carol rushed in to join them.

Long after thechildren were in bed, Maggie stared out her bedroom window again, observing the dance of leaves and branches swaying in the breeze, backlit by the streetlamps. Itwas all sort of mesmerizing, and calming, and in some strange way, had soothed some of her anxiety.

They’d all turned in early. Theolders—Jason and Carol, she no longer wanted to include Jason as alittle—had isolated themselves in their rooms. She didn’t know if they were sleeping, but it didn’t matter. Hopefully, they were dealing with things, rolling them over in their minds like she was doing.

Chloe was a different matter. Maggie stayed with her until she finally fell asleep. It took three books, four songs, some tears, and a couple of whispered prayers before her girl finally went to sleep in her arms. Maggie left both of their bedroom doors cracked, so she could hear if Chloe called out.

The look on the kids’ faces earlier, when reality struck, was painful. That’s when Maggie knew that their truth had set in—and they understood that life was going to change. That they might no longer live in the house they had lived in all their lives. They would no longer have their father at home when he wasn’t traveling. They might never see him again at all. Money would be tight, and Mommy would have to work. And they would have to do what millions of other kids of divorced parents routinely do—juggle visitation schedules.

They didn’t like any of it.

Her heart hurt just thinking about it.

That was when Maggie realized her kids had grown up privileged.

But it wasn’t their fault, was it?