Page 107 of The Me I Left Behind

“Are you sure, Julia? This is a lot.”

She smiled. “It’s fine. The thought of selling Max’s clubs brings me great pleasure.”

Maggie laughed. “Me too. Honestly.” She glanced at Julia’s list again. “There’s one more thing you wanted to discuss?

Julia made direct eye contact. “Yeah. The kids.”

Turning, and with a deep exhale, Maggie went to the sofa in the family room. “Come sit down. This is not a standing discussion.”

Julia came with her and sat. “You know what I am going to say, right?”

“That my kids are a mess?”

“Well, that’s not exactly how I was going to put it.”

Maggie leaned forward, not looking at Julia but staring at the dark television set. “I know my kids, Julia. Chloe has had issues since she was young because Max basically dismissed her. Jasonis an adolescent boy trying to figure out what kind of man he is going to be, and Max’s insufficient role model, past and present, isn’t helping. He’s always been my buddy, but right now, he’s questioning everything—and that includes my role in all this mess. Carol? She’s not sure whether I’m her friend or her foe at the moment, mostly because she’s being pulled in two directions—family and boyfriend. Plus, she’s getting ready to launch from the nest, and with all this family drama going on, I’m sure that will not be a simple transition.”

“Well,” Julia said, “I think that pretty much sums it up.”

“I’m on top of it. I promise.”

“I just want to make sure. Don’t ignore any warning signs, and if you can’t help them, then find someone they can talk to. In fact, the judge might suggest counseling, so be thinking.”

“I will.”

“And don’t forget to talk to Carol about college. That was an interesting twist.”

Maggie glanced off, thinking. “I know. I don’t think I’m going to push it with her right now. It’s not the right time.”

Julia nodded. “You’ve noticed Chloe’s food obsession?”

“Goodness, yes.” She rose and stepped toward the TV, then turned. “Max ignored her from the start and Chloe made herself invisible. If she called attention to herself in any way, good or bad, Max would get annoyed and either belittle her or shout at her. I think the food thing right now is her way of being invisible—kind of like she’s sinking into the food, so she won’t have to deal with what’s going on around her. But honestly, Julia, I’ve seen her shine lately, too. That art project she worked on last night? I swear it brought out the real Chloe.”

Smiling, Julia said, “She takes after you.”

“I’d love to get back into my art one of these days soon.”

“You should.” Julia stood also and crossed the room. “It might be good therapy.”

She’d considered that. “It might. Getting Chloe’s art supplies whetted my appetite again. There are classes at the store. I might take one down the road—a refresher. But not yet.”

“If you can carve out the time, I think you should do that as soon as you want to. Don’t forget to take care of yourself, Maggie. You can’t take care of all the others unless you are healthy yourself.”

How well she knew that. She was proud of herself for recognizing that sometimes it was okay to put herself first.

Her own mother was the poster child for not taking care of herself. Had she worked on being healthy herself—mentally and physically—things might have turned out differently for them in the past, and well, even in the present. They may have even been able to salvage a relationship. But she’d long given up on the idea that she and her mother could have a healthy relationship in the future.

“I’ve been rehashing a lot of my past lately, things I screwed up, things I let go, things I wish I’d said or done… I’ve been recalling some issues I had with my mother and trying not to make the same mistakes with my children. The memories, the flashbacks, are vivid—some I hadn’t thought about in years.”

Julia reached for her and gave her a hug. “Are you okay?”

The significance of that didn’t go unnoticed. Hugs from Julia were a rare thing. “I’m good. I finally feel I’m dealing with all that.”

“Mags, from what you’ve shared about your mother over the years, I don’t think you are anywhere close to being like her.”

“God, Julia. I hope not.”

Julia flashed a grin. “Have I told you lately how proud I am of you? Seriously, Mags, you’ve grown leaps and bounds in the past few months, even amid all this absurdity.”