Page 50 of The Masks We Wear (Satan’s Angels #1)

Brody

Rock, meet motherfucking bottom, I think to myself as I tug the hotel sheets over my head. Someone’s been knocking on my door for about five minutes and my ignoring them hasn’t caused them to give up yet which only pisses me off more. Seriously, who the fuck does that?

I love New York, but I’m a little preoccupied mentally.

The memory of Harvey leaving me, telling me all I ever was to him was sex, just plays on a loop.

It’s like my own personal groundhogs day, neverending, and just as pitiful everytime.

To make matters worse, I’m solely responsible for the fact that the label wants to drop us.

We were one single song short and we had a week to finish it, but I failed to show up to the studio.

The girls are livid with me right now because I’m the reason we’re getting sued and will most likely be blackballed from ever signing with another record label again.

I know I royally fucked up and that my actions affected the people I care about, but I just couldn’t bring myself to care when I was skipping studio time in favor of wallowing in my unfamiliar hotel sheets, in the unfamiliar bed, and with these stiff ass pillows that feel like cinderblocks.

Even if I did show up, I wouldn’t have been very useful.

My creativity seems to have left me along with my heart.

The idea of making music makes me want to throw up the food I forced down my throat earlier.

I don’t want to be one of those girls that sulks and gets depressed when the guy she falls for breaks her heart, but it feels nearly impossible to muster strength to get up right now.

The incessant knocking on my door continues and I groan.

It’s probably the girls, coming to flip out on me for standing them up at the studio today.

I let it continue until the person on the other side yells, “I know you’re in there, Brody.

Open the door before I break it down. I was gonna surprise you if you opened up but you ruined the surprise. ”

My head shoots up. I know that voice. I leap out of the bed, in complete shock and disbelief.

I twist the knob and pull it open and gasp when I see her.

Ivy Villin, one of my closest friends. Even though I feel empty inside, I smile from ear to ear when I see her. She raises a playful brow, “Surprise.”

I wrap my arms around her in a tight hug and she laughs as she returns it.

It’s been so long since I’ve seen her what with her being busy running two companies and a mafia family alongside her fiance and his brothers and all.

I nearly forgot how small she was. I’m an average size but she’s slim and petite in my arms. I pull away to look at her, taking in her perfectly styled platinum hair and her ice blue eyes.

She wears a bold, dark red lip, the color of blood and it all pairs perfectly with the navy pantsuit she wears, a white teddy underneath, revealing her cleavage.

Her outfit is so killer, it reminds me of Selene.

No wonder Selene is so fond of Ivy. “What are you doing here?”

She pushes her hip out as she crosses her arms over her chest and accuses, “You’re in my hometown, babe.

Did you forget? You knew you were coming here and you never reached out.

I’m insulted, honestly,” she complains as she enters my hotel room, walking right past me.

I close the door behind her and watch her circle the suite.

She has a confused look on her face as if she’s searching for something and can’t find it.

“Where’s the bourbon? Or whiskey, I’ll take whatever. ”

I give her a weak smile, “I don’t have any. I’m clean and sober now.”

She raises a brow, “Completely?”

I nod.

She inhales sharply, “Wow. I’m impressed,” she saunters around the couch, her heels clicking on the tiled floor.

She seats herself and lounges comfortably, making herself right at home.

Ivy’s ability to always be the biggest person in the room when in fact, she’s always the smallest is admirable.

She just has this way about her that radiates danger and intimidation to anyone who gets too close.

Seriously, I don’t know how Jason handles it, her confidence and strength are enough to send a normal guy running.

“Where’s Jason?” I ask. Usually they don’t go anywhere without each other. They’re relationship is cute, but given my current situation, I want to gag at the thought of them being lovey dovey.

She softens when her fiance’s name is brought up, “He’s in a meeting.

When Selene called me this morning to let me know you were here, I had my assistant block me off so I could come see you.

Now, why don’t you tell me what’s going on because I’m no fool.

I know you and I know something is wrong.

You don’t sulk,” she takes in my appearance, my baggy sweats and my ratty hair along with the bare face and dark circles under my eyes.

She grimaces at the sight of me, “Nor do you ever look like… that .”

Oh, Ivy and her brutal honesty . “Thanks,” I say bitterly.

She rolls her eyes. “You know what I mean. Now, tell me.”

I take a deep breath and feel the tears coming.

“I fell in love with someone and I thought there was a chance he could’ve felt the same way but instead, he left me and told me I was just sex to him.

” I give her the cliff notes. If I tell her the whole story, I’ll be a sobbing mess and then I won’t make it to the show tonight.

She frowns, “How could someone not fall in love with you?”

I give her a dark look as a treacherous tear rolls down my cheek. I quickly wipe it away with the sleeve of my crew neck.

She gives me a pitiful look, scooching in so that she’s closer to me.

“I know what a broken heart feels like. I know it isn’t a good feeling.

With time, it does get better though. It’s like there’s a box in our heads labeled ‘storage’ and as time passes, you move your memories of him into the box and the pain never goes away completely but you can put it in the storage box. ”

My face conveys pure doubt. “That’s easy for you to say when you’re engaged to the guy you had a broken heart over.”

She sighs, “Brody, I’m trying to be comforting.”

I throw my head back on the back of the couch and complain.

“Alice is a therapist. Where is she when you need her?” I ask, bringing Ivy’s half sister up.

The two are inseparable and I’ve never seen a relationship as strong as theirs.

They’d give anything for each other no matter the consequences or circumstances.

I mean, Ivy quite literally sold her soul to the Devil for Alice. Well, not literally but…kind of.

Ivy laughs, “She’s busy being a therapist. She has a bunch of patients today. Doesn’t matter though, you’ll see her tonight.”

This catches my attention. I look up at her and raise a questioning brow, “You guys are all coming to the show?”

Ivy nods, “Jason, Mason, Alice, and I will be there.”

“No Sebastian and Scar?”

Ivy grins, “They’re off in Australia having wild sex on every surface of that hotel room.”

I scoff, “Must be nice.”

Ivy laughs, “We’ll be there with you tonight though.

I’m excited to watch you perform.” My face must show her the anxiety inside me because she places a hand on mine, “Look, I know it’s hard because the wounds are fresh, but you have millions of people who love you, literally.

On the inside, you have Aria and Ivory, Selene, me, Alice, and your brother.

You have an amazing support system and it’s totally okay to not be okay.

Let us help you and comfort you, that’s what we’re here for. ”

I nod, “Thank you. It means a lot to me that you’re here right now. That you’re coming later. I feel like shit and I’ve let it affect the people close to me. I feel so awful,” I frown, sighing in exhaustion as I rub my eyes.

“It’s never too late to fix things. Trust me, I learned the hard way,” Ivy admits.

“You’re right.”

She preens, “I always am.”

I roll my eyes but her tone shifts, becoming more serious.

“You’re a better person than me, B. I know you and I know you’ll find a way to fix things between you and the girls.

” She flares her nostrils, a vengeful expression on her face, “And when it comes to this guy, if you want me to kill him, just let me know. I can make it look like an accident,” she offers and I get goosebumps on my arms. The scary part about that was that she’s serious. Dead fucking serious.

––––––––

THIS IS IT, THE last show. Most likely my last show ever.

I sit backstage, the hair and makeup team going to work on my face and hair.

As I sit in the chair with strangers shoving brushes around my eyes, my mind wanders.

It goes to that place Harvey occupies and reminds me of all that I’ve lost. After my talk with Ivy earlier, my mind wanders to that place with all that I’ve gained too.

Sure, my heart feels like it was ripped out of my chest and squeezed in his palm.

Yes, it hurt like hell but the best moments were so worth it.

All that I’ve become these last few months makes feeling empty on the inside worth it.

At the beginning of my time with Harvey, I was addicted to cocaine, addicted to alcohol, wreckless, and out of control all because that’s who I thought the world wanted me to be.

I was so afraid of no longer being relevant, of losing my fame and then my fans, of losing my friends, my dreams, all of it.

I was so scared I would lose it all and end up a washed up rockstar, stuck with only my miserable parents and my awesome little brother.

I lost myself in my fear so much that I became someone I wasn’t.

It took an intervention in the form of a live-in babysitter to make me realize that.