Page 61 of The Love Bus

I CAN DO IT BY MYSELF

I didn’t sleep. Not really. I drifted in and out, mind spinning, body still buzzing with the phantom weight of Noah’s arms around me. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw him turning to leave.

By sunrise, I gave up.

I packed in silence. Brushed my teeth with mechanical precision. Bought a coffee in the lobby that tasted like someone had just reheated the remnants of yesterday’s batch and sat nursing it in the near-empty cafeteria where they served breakfast.

I needed to be stronger than this. We’d hung out a few times , spent one fantastic night together, gone on zero official dates. We weren’t a thing, and I had no right to get so hung up on someone I’d only known for a week.

You’re going to be okay. Just hold it together. I repeated those words over and over, like a mantra, and it actually seemed to help calm me down while I sipped my coffee.

Until I climbed onto the bus, counted the seats to my row, and was faced with his seat beside mine.

Empty.

I stood there for a second too long, and then, through sheer force of will, plopped onto the seat by the window. It hit harder than I’d expected.

For one ridiculous, fleeting second, I actually contemplated getting off. Walking away. Ending my trip early. There had to be an airport nearby. A rental car counter. Something.

But then an old familiar strength, from so deep I hardly recognized it, snapped me awake.

No.

I was done being the girl who crumpled. The girl who let other people define her presence.

That was the moment Babs dropped into the seat beside me.

Not the one she’d claimed days ago, beside Mrs. Grady. No, she sat right beside me.

Of course, she did.

“Morning, Luna girl,” she murmured right as Tay took her place at the front, clipboard in hand, sunglasses perched on her head like a tiara.

“Okay, my glorious Love Bus survivors,” she said. “Today is the big one. Today we see the Grand Canyon.”

A cheer broke out. Even I felt something flicker in my chest.

I mean, it was the Grand Canyon.

“And, in part to make up for missing Mesa Verde,” she continued, “I, your amazing and wonderful bucket list guide, have pulled a few strings. We’re staying at the El Tovar Hotel. Right. On. The. Rim.”

A smattering of applause. Babs let out a long, dramatic, “Oooooh.”

“It’s historic. It’s gorgeous. And when you see it, you’ll all insist on adding me to your will. Because not just anyone can get these rooms. But hey, my people are worth it.”

She flipped a page on her clipboard.

“Once we arrive, we’re scheduled for an all-day mule ride—yes, mules, not horses—along the rim. The Bright Angel Trail. Not all the way down, so don’t panic, but enough to see some views you’ll want to be sure to post. Bring water. And maybe pop a few aspirin. Your butts will thank you tomorrow.”

Scattered laughter. Groans. Babs wiggled in her seat like she was already feeling the pain.

I leaned back and let out a low breath.

Great.

A raw heart and a saddle sore. Perfect combo.

Still, it made me smirk. A little.

“You know,” Babs leaned into me. “One day, you’ll look back and be glad your sister insisted you come on this trip.”

I gave her a sideways glance, determined not to talk about the person whose seat she had claimed. “Of course. I mean, it’s one of the wonders of the world.”

Babs swatted my arm…softly though. “You don’t fool me. But I mean it. Everything happens for a reason, and when things don’t work out the way you expect, it just means you get to try again.”

Damn it, Babs.

“Maybe.”

“No maybe about it.”

She opened her tote and pulled out a photo album. Not digital. A real one, with those cheap plastic sleeve pages that crinkled when you turned them.

“I had some of these printed last night,” she said. “Just a few of us. The photo at Four Corners. And Ed and Eddie at the wineries. Remember that?”

She flipped the page. Her smile was bright and unbothered.

“There’s also a Facebook group for our bus. Tay says she does one for all her tours. Everyone’s photos are in there. Well, the good ones.”

She tilted it toward me.

“Did you see that Roger and Helen are home now? And Helen is already planning a trip for them this fall.”

“Good for them.” I didn’t mean to sound like I didn’t care, but this was just…harder than I would have expected.

“You don’t have to look,” Babs said, closing the book gently. “Not sure I would either.”

I finally twisted around. Mrs. Grady looked to be sleeping. She had her eyes closed and her head resting on the window.

And for the first time since being…blindsided, I wondered if I had been the only one.

Tay had to have known, hadn’t she? I lowered my chin. “Did you know?” I asked. “About Mrs. Grady’s…surprise.”

And Babs, well, Babs looked so crestfallen as she shook her head that I instantly felt sorry.

“I think she knew that I’d say something.” Babs was keeping her voice as low as I had. “And I suppose I would have because what happened last night wasn’t right. I would have followed you if I thought it would have helped.”

That had me melting a little, just knowing that she cared.

“Just know, sweetheart, that we’re all rooting for you.”

The words didn’t register at first. But then…

“Just saying,” Babs said breezily. Too breezily? “You’ve shown so much strength on this trip. And heart. And, well, we’ve all been there.”

What? What did that mean? I frowned slightly, but didn’t push. I was too everything to pull apart why that felt…off.

I needed to get myself together. Just a few more days and I’d be back at home. Until then, I would just have to make the best of things.

And that’s exactly what I did.

A few hours later, as I was climbing onto my mule—a stout fellow named Clumsy—I started to think that maybe that wouldn’t be so hard after all. With so much jam-packed into our schedule, it shouldn’t be too hard to distract myself for a while.

The views and the fresh air were amazing, trotting along a narrow cliff-side trail, and I was surrounded by people who’d become…

friends, and who were being their usual ridiculous selves.

Ed and Eddie were wearing matching cowboy outfits today, right down to their red leather boots, authentic western hats—even their fanny packs.

Josie seemed to have no fear, leaning sideways, backward, and all around, holding her phone out to capture images of her on muleback with the rainbow canyons in the background.

She’d come a long way since her first accidental live video, and any day, I expected her to announce her intentions of becoming a travel influencer.

Patty and Denise were discussing wedding plans for Vegas, and the usually fearless Babs was clinging to her mule like it was a buoy in the middle of the ocean.

Everyone was drinking their water, including me, having learned my lesson back at the Arches. We all helped each other with sunscreen and shared snacks and whatever else we needed, and it felt almost normal, like we’d been doing this for forever.

It was weird.

Weird how much like a family they’d started to feel.

How I actually wanted to hear how Ed’s blood pressure had dropped three points since Moab.

Had it really only been a week since we’d all met?

That night, as we gathered in the El Tovar dining room—a dimly lit space with wood-paneled walls and cream-colored tablecloths that gave off a high-end but rustic feel—everyone was in good spirits.

Having worked up a heck of an appetite during the mule ride today, we dug into the food with gusto, given our choice of petite filet mignon, oven-roasted duck, or grilled lamb loin chops,

It was surprisingly pleasant after the disaster that was last night’s dinner.

I’d almost reset my heart to normal when Eddie speculated out loud about what Noah was up to.

“He’s probably eating protein bars and drinking beer,” Mrs. Grady answered, stirring her iced tea.

“I don’t think he drinks when he’s on the river,” I said automatically. “At least?—”

I cut myself off.

Because I was correcting his mom about her own son’s preferences.

That was when Babs, ever so casually, asked the question I couldn’t.

“How long is the tour, Christine? Will he make it back to Vegas in time to fly home with you?” She didn’t look over at me.

What are you doing to me, Babs?

I dreaded Mrs. Grady’s answer. Because…I didn’t want to get my hopes up.

The table quieted just a notch.

“Oh, I hope so, seeing as I have another surprise lined up for him…”

I blinked. Why did that statement fill me with dread?

But she just went back to her tea.

Like it was nothing.

Like I was nothing.

For no particular reason, my eyes shot to my phone. Noah hadn’t texted me since he left. Even if he had, I doubted it would come through.

He was probably miles into the canyon by now, living his dream.

I refused to wallow.

But if I wasn’t going to wallow, I couldn’t just sit here.

I didn’t stay with the group for dessert. I told Babs I had a headache—not a total lie—but didn’t go right back to my room.

Instead, I wandered outside toward the overlook.

Honestly, Tay must’ve still felt guilty about the whole Mesa Verde hiccup, even though it hadn’t even been her fault. But from what I’d learned, scoring last-minute rooms at this hotel was nothing short of miraculous.

Tay had completely outdone herself.

I leaned against the railing, letting the wind do that thing with my hair that made me feel like the heroine of my own book. A little dramatic, but I thought this would make a great place to do some soul-searching and mind cleansing.

The sun was beginning to sink, smearing the sky and the canyon below it with reds and golds and a kind of impossible pink that made my chest hurt.

I just stood there, not crying, not feeling sorry for myself.

Really. I wasn’t feeling sorry for myself.

I was just…

Being.

And then?—

Two warm arms wrapped around my waist from behind, and I knew…even before I felt his lips brushing below my ear.

Noah.